Motorist scolds cyclist for riding in the bus lane – while driving an untaxed car; Is Chris Froome set to race Unbound Gravel in 2024?; Soudal Quick-Step’s hideously Eurotrash kit reveal; Lance Armstrong: “Never tested positive” + more on the live blog

In case you missed it last night, cycling’s world governing body has continued to cement its reputation as an organisation hell-bent on solving the sport’s biggest, most fundamental problems, like… errrr, shifter angles?

> UCI set to clamp down on “extreme” turned-in brake levers

Fancy watching Tony Soprano for an hour before flicking over to Kuurne–Brussels–Kuurne? Well, if you’re in the United States, now you can, thanks to the news that Discovery’s streaming channel Max (the successor to HBO Max), along with the US brand of TNT Sports, will take on the rights to over 300 road, cyclocross, tracks, BMX, and mountain bike races from February, previously managed by the soon-to-be dearly departed GCN+.

Clearing up the confusion that has reigned in the US since GCN’s streaming service announced it was shutting up shop, Max will effectively provide a like-for-like replacement for the platform’s groundbreaking coverage, with subscribers retaining access to roughly the same number of races, as well as the ‘Breakaway’ pre- and post-race analysis show (so you won’t miss out on any of Adam and Robbie’s bantz, thank God).

However – like many feared when the news arrived of GCN’s demise – it’s the new price that will sting fans the most.

Max’s B/R Sports Add-On, which also includes live coverage of baseball, basketball, ice hockey, and motor racing (hooray!), is available for $9.95 a month, in addition to the basic Max subscription, which begins at $9.95 a month with ads – that’s more than four times the annual cost of GCN for the most basic package. Ouch.

Ah, I’m already missing the good old days of the early 2020s…

Read more: > What’s the best way to watch live cycling following the closure of GCN+? 

> Cycling and sustainability: What the bike industry is doing, and what you can do to further reduce your carbon footprint as a cyclist

Queue for four hours for Thunder Mountain? Tick. Take photos with Mickey and Minnie? Done and done. Urinate in a cup at the hotel? No problem.

Oh, sorry, that’s the itinerary for my last trip to Disneyland Paris, apologies. But, rather coincidentally, it’s also what faced suspended Colombian climber Miguel Ángel López while on holiday this week with his family at Walt Disney World, Florida – as the former Astana and Movistar rider was greeted by anti-doping officials at one of the resort’s hotels, despite being provisionally banned from competition.

López had been racing in South America this season, before he was suspended by the UCI in July over a “potential anti-doping violation” relating to the build-up to the 2022 Giro d’Italia, a race López ultimately left due to an apparent thigh injury on stage four, and which saw him become a target for the International Testing Agency.

(Alex Whitehead SWpix.com)

The Tour de France stage winner and grand tour podium finisher was sacked by Astana last December after the team claimed that it “had discovered new elements” linking him to alleged doping doctor Marcos Maynar.

These “new elements”, Spanish newspaper ABC reported at the time, relate to a document claiming that López received a dose of menotropin, a human growth hormone that increases muscle mass and eliminate fluids, before the start of last year’s Giro.

López was initially, and briefly, suspended by Astana last July after reports emerged claiming that the Colombian was being investigated for his alleged involvement in a drug trafficking ring in Spain, led by physiologist Maynar, who was arrested in May and charged with crimes against public health, drug trafficking, and money laundering as part of the Spanish police’s Operation Ilex investigation.

And now – despite being banned from competition as the investigation into López and the doping ring – the 29-year-old was forced to briefly postpone his turn on ‘It’s a Small World’ as he was forced to submit a sample for the anti-doping officials who had travelled to Orlando to see him for an out-of-competition test, as López remains part of the testing pool.

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by Miguel Ángel López Moreno (@miguelsuperlopez)

“I am surprised by something that just happened to me this morning,” López said in a message on Instagram this week, live from Disney, criticising the length of the investigation currently hanging over him.

“I had not wanted to say this in public, but it is time because a long time has passed. Everyone knows the situation I’m going through, the provisional suspension that the UCI has had on me for almost five months, and that as of today I know absolutely nothing about my future.

“Just like now in the Disney hotel, I have collaborated, I have done the things they have asked of me. I have collaborated with information, with controls, because I have passed many.

“If they take the trouble to come here, let them take the same trouble to solve the issue for me and expedite me, investigate and give me the green light to do what I like because I am not hiding anything and I’m clean, I have nothing to do with it.”

Can’t believe he missed the opportunity to blast the UCI’s ‘Mickey Mouse’ doping system… Well, at least I hope the drug testers were able to have a go on a few rides while they were there.

It looks like this week’s most controversial professional cycling team has decided to divide the sport’s fans even further, with this, ahem, interesting homage to 2015-era Tinkoff-Saxo Bank – a famously uncontroversial and frictionless team, if memory serves me well…

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by BORA – hansgrohe (@borahansgrohe)

 Spot the difference:

> Pro cycling bullying accusations as Uijtdebroeks transfer saga rumbles on 

Cambridge City Council’s former leader has quizzed the local authority’s current administration over how long will it take to tackle the city’s broken roads and called for cyclists to be allocated “far greater priority” when it comes to road safety, after he himself hit a pothole while cycling and had to spend four nights in hospital with broken bones.

“Can the council advise how effectively and quickly it will tackle broken roads and properly fill potholes in Cambridge and market towns heavily used by local cyclists, motorbikes, and vulnerable pedestrians, and improve the safety of local people, and reduce the number of accidents caused by damaged roads last winter?” asked former Labour councillor Lewis Herbert.

Read more: > “Cyclists deserve far greater priority”: Former council leader calls on local authority to fix broken roads after pothole crash put him in hospital

I reckon I’ll just leave this here and let you lot scrap it out amongst yourselves…

I stole this. pic.twitter.com/uT9HM6epB5

— Simon Warren (@100Climbs) December 15, 2023

I see your cringey Celine Dion music video, Soudal Quick-Step, and I raise you Tadej Pogačar bopping along during training to horribly inane Euro techno:

Sextou @TamauPogi pic.twitter.com/8z7xQoKip9

— O País Do Ciclismo (@opaisdociclismo) December 15, 2023

On the one hand, I love pro cycling’s cultural idiosyncrasies and the denim jacket-wearing, mullet-sporting Euroness of it all.

But on the other hand, my eyes and ears won’t stop bleeding…

In a rare spot of good news for UK cycling fans, the Perf Pedal – the long-established annual curtain raiser to the British racing scene, the future of which appeared to be in major doubt following organiser Mick Waite’s decision to step aside in October – will be revived under a new name, the Portsdown Classic.

First held in 1964, the Perfs Pedal National B race – which takes place near Portsmouth, often in foul February conditions – quickly established itself as the first big event of the British cycling calendar, and lists Sean Yates and Alex Dowsett among its illustrious list of winners.

> Iconic British road race Perfs Pedal cancelled for 2024

Jack Rootkin-Gray led home an ominous Saint Piran 1-2-3 at the 2023 edition, which – for a few months at least – looked like it was set to be the legendary race’s last, after 77-year-old Waite made the “difficult decision to stop running this event”, thanks to the increasingly “complex” nature of running a National B race.

(Ian Wrightson)

However, it was announced this week that a UK giant will not be falling to the wayside, as Seb Ottley, the founder of the RCR FatCreations Road Race, has stepped in to keep this great British tradition alive, although under a new name: the Portsdown Classic.

Describing how the decision to take over the event came about after Waite’s decision to step awat, Ottley told the British Continental: “Then, obviously, this came up, he stepped down. I messaged him probably within about an hour of hearing to get the ball rolling.

“It’s such an important race, for the whole calendar, everybody knows of it. I just think it’d be such a shame to have lost it.”

> “Instead of going to Twitter and whining about it, get involved and try to make it better”: British race organiser says volunteers and people “giving back” essential to keeping domestic scene alive

On the issues that led to Waite pulling the plug in October, Ottley added: “The final straw, I think, was the parking issue. He’s had issues with parish councils and bits and pieces over the years. Riders not maybe respecting the area, parking on verges, and stuff like that.

“Under Mick’s request, during that initial phone call with him, he said the date, obviously anyone can take that on now, whether it’s this region or any region. But one thing he said he’d like to keep was the Perfs name. If anyone took it on, he said, he wouldn’t particularly like the name to continue.

“I think people will probably still refer to it as the Perfs because it’s obviously on such a similar course and the date is the same too. But out of respect for Mick, I think it’s the right thing to do. Taking it on and adding a few adjustments, it sort of adds my signature, if you will, to it.”

While the world recoils in horror at Julian Alaphilippe’s power ballad dance moves, the Eurotrashiness of Soudal Quick-Step’s kit reveal video has taken a new, altogether darker twist this afternoon.

It’s been brought to our attention that, shockingly, the Belgian squad aren’t the first pro cycling team to adopt the Jim Steinman-penned masterpiece for their social media marketing purposes.

At the start of this year, future Paris-Roubaix winner Alison Jackson announced her arrival at EF Education with this strikingly similar piece of choreography, backed by Zoe Bäckstedt and some fantastic pink lighting and smoke effects:

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by EF Education-TIBCO-SVB (@efeducation.tibco.svb)

Plagiarism! Typical Lefevere, up to no good…

However, not so fast – in my Pulitzer-striving research for this, I’ve discovered that the whole Celin Dion thing was actually a TikTok trend from early 2022, where social media users dramatically mime to ‘It’s All Coming Back to Me Now’ (hey, I’m over the age of 20, how was I supposed to know about any of this?) and that thoughts of originality were far, far from both teams’ minds when they pressed ‘record’.

So we can put the pitchforks down and go back to groaning about the soul-destroying cringeness of it all – made even worse by cycling’s steadfast refusal to be even moderately on time for the party.

Can’t wait for Movistar’s rendition of Thriller when they reveal their new kit next week…

While today’s main blog story on the passing motorist and his dubious bus lane advice perhaps represents the more depressing side of cycling in Northern Ireland, a group of cyclists have bandied together to overcome another blight affecting people with bikes across the country.

Cycling Ulster, working together with the Police Service of Northern Ireland, have this week launched the Stolen and Found Bikes Ulster Facebook Group, which aims to help those who have fallen victim to bike thieves by sharing images and information on stolen bikes in a bid to reunite them with their owners.

> “So many people are put off cycling by the threat of having their bike stolen”: Bike theft victims call for more secure cycle hangars as demand soars

“We understand the pain and frustration victims feel when they have their bicycle stolen,” PSNI inspector Pete Cunningham said.

“With this new group, we have the opportunity for the public to share images of stolen bikes and found or recovered bikes with the aim of victims getting their bicycle back.

“We would always advise all bicycle owners, especially those who may get a new bike at Christmas, to take a photograph of their bike and always security mark it.”

Chairperson of Cycling Ulster Tommy McCague added: “I’m delighted to have this Facebook group up and running to help reunite people with their stolen bikes.

“Disappointingly, many bikes are stolen every year throughout the province. People use bikes as modes of transport as well as recreation and mental well-being and it’s important we spread the word to help find these bikes.”

Episode 67 of the road.cc Podcast is out now on all good (and some rubbish) streaming platforms, and features a thought-provoking chat with Rob Anderson of the More Than A Cyclist campaign about the aims of his road safety organisation and their recent, quite visceral video.

In the interview with editor Jack, Rob details how these passionate activists are trying to get their message heard via hard-hitting social media posts and billboards, while speaking to politicians and other influential figures to reach those beyond the cycling community about the hazards of life on the road for people on bikes.

> Seeing the person behind the cyclist: More Than A Cyclist campaign aims to inspire behaviour change with powerful new film, plus our top cycling Christmas gifts

Meanwhile, in an altogether more frivolous part two, spare a thought for your resident live blogger, who had to struggle through a chat about cycling Christmas presents with a heavy dose of the cold (I know, it’s a hard life), a perilous situation that undoubtedly prompted him to forcefully denounce a certain Welsh Tour de France winner’s series of, ahem, critically acclaimed books.

Sorry Geraint…

While discussing Miguel Ángel López’s Disney World trip earlier – complete with free drugs test – we forgot to mention Snow White’s favourite pro cyclist: Dopey.

Or, as he’s better known to most members of the public – Lance Armstrong.

Well, Big Tex is back in the headlines once again, fresh from his reality TV stint ruffling feathers in space, appearing on the latest episode of Bill Maher’s Club Random podcast, where Armstrong explains he was able to beat the “500” anti-doping tests he encountered throughout his career thanks to the short half-life (and therefore detection window) of “rocket fuel” wonder drugs like EPO.

Full episode of Club Random w/ @billmaher and @lancearmstrong here: https://t.co/SaVtvLga72

👉Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
👉New episode every Sunday pic.twitter.com/aK9S33C5xm

— Club Random with Bill Maher (@ClubRandom_) December 13, 2023

While all of this is nothing new to cycling fans, we were at least treated to another sparkling rendition of LA’s greatest hit, “I’ve never tested positive”.

“One of the lines was ‘I’ve been tested 500 times and never failed a drugs test’. That’s not a lie. That is the truth. There was no way around the test. When I pissed in the cup, and they tested the piss in the cup, it passed,” Armstrong said, punching the palm of his other hand in a manner formerly reserved for journalists who dared to question his integrity.

And he’s right, they did all pass – well, apart from that test for cortisone at the ’99 Tour. Or that rumoured ‘suspicious’ EPO test at the 2001 Tour de Suisse…

It’s one thing beating the IQ test that is anti-doping, it’s quite another having the sport’s governing body in your pocket, eh Lance?

For a team that once forced Tom Boonen to sit naked in a bath full of beans, and convinced their riders to take part in a pillow fight all in the name of sponsorship, it takes a hell of a lot for Soudal Quick-Step to out-Eurotrash themselves these days.

But, by gum, I think they’ve finally done it:

𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗱𝗮𝗹 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸-𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗖𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶 𝗰𝘆𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗸𝗶𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿! pic.twitter.com/1idoJf8Q6x

— Soudal Quick-Step Pro Cycling Team (@soudalquickstep) December 15, 2023

I can just imagine Patrick Lefevere standing behind the camera yelling at Julian to ‘walk down those steps with more showbiz pizzaz’, or to sing into the water bottle ‘like you mean it – or else I’ll really ship you off to TotalEnergies this time’…

He may still have his sights firmly set on a return to the Tour de France in 2024 – as long as he conveniently blocks out the sceptical noises emanating from his Israel-Premier Tech team’s outspoken co-owner Sylvan Adams – but that doesn’t mean Chris Froome isn’t also up for a spot of late-career experimentation.

> “He can talk about his bike position until the cows come home”: Chris Froome’s bike set-up “oversight” claims slammed as “illogical” by team boss

Well, that’s if you believe the four-time Tour de France winner’s claim that he’s preparing to race the 2024 edition of Unbound Gravel, the upstart discipline’s most iconic event, a tantalising titbit mischievously thrown in at the end of his latest YouTube video.

For most of the video’s 24 minutes, Froome plays the role of the keen if socially awkward dad with a camera at his son’s stag do, documenting last month’s post-season crits and events in Singapore and Japan, his tour of the Factor factory (where he dropped that bombshell about his bike position), and the Best Buddies charity ride in Miami.

However, right at the end of the video – the day after his lunchtime snack with Vino – Froome heads out on the gravel trails with former Sky teammate-turned-gravel star Ian Boswell, where he seems keen to learn the tricks of the off-road trade with ‘the Boz’.

“Today, we’re heading out on the gravel bikes, we’ve got the master himself, the Boz, to show us how it’s done,” the 38-year-old says.

“Yeah, I’m going to start figuring out how it’s all done before the big one next year, Unbound,” Froome adds (with a big smile, I must add), before retired American cyclocross star Tim Johnson chips in over his shoulder: “Wow, you heard it here first!”

While Froome may simply be winding us up – the man’s taken to posting comedy ASMR videos and trolling drama-hungry cycling fans online these days, after all, so you can’t take him too seriously – if he does make the trip to Kansas in June, he’ll be joined by gravel world champion and Milan-Sanremo winner Matej Mohorič, who confirmed his participation in the 200-mile version of the legendary race as part of a short, early summer gravel stint between the classics and the Tour.

> “What a load of BS”: Fans and former pros, including Michael Rasmussen, ridicule Chris Froome’s claim that bike set-up was “centimetres” off from Team Sky days

And think about it – Froome will have plenty of opportunities to blame his bike for a poor performance on the pesky gravel roads of Unbound, so it should fit right into his late-era routine.

What, too harsh?

Earlier this week, you may recall, we heard from a school coach driver with a strikingly nonchalant regard for road safety, who told a cyclist – during a typically grunty confrontation over a close pass – that he’s “not really bothered” about killing vulnerable road users. Charming.

> School coach driver tells cyclist he’s “not really bothered” about killing someone after close pass

Anyway, the cyclist/bus/dodgy driver narrative has now come full circle, following an incident involving regular uploader of close passes and bad driving, Stormont Cyclist, who – while riding home from work on the outskirts of a sodden Belfast – was subject to the deeply erroneous and shouty claim from a passing motorist that he shouldn’t be cycling in the bus lane.

Yep, you couldn’t make it up.

Driver tells me off for cycling in the bus lane while driving an untaxed vehicle. Reported to @DVLAgovuk

HJ14 PXO pic.twitter.com/VUdeqB0Uib

— Stormont Cyclist (@StormontCyclist) December 13, 2023

After catching up with the soon-to-be stuck in traffic driver (they never learn, do they?), Stormont Cyclist asked our bus lane expert: “What’s wrong with you?”

“You’ll get a ticket for being in the bus lane,” came the brilliantly researched response from the vehicle.

“Did you not see the bike on the signs? Bikes are allowed in the bus lane.”

> “They never caught up again”: Car passenger aims “vroom” taunt at cyclist… only to be caught and passed moments later

After an odd question about the cyclist’s bike basket, and a characteristically sweary farewell from our baffled driver, Stormont Cyclist rode on, enjoying the freedom of a bus lane that – as the signs on that particular road, and the Highway Code, indicate – he’s well within his rights to use, regardless of what the shouted taunts of ill-informed passing motorists might suggest.

> “Get on the f***ing road!” Angry pedestrian confronts cyclist for “riding on the pavement” – while standing in front of shared-use path sign

But that’s not all.

As if his bus lane suggestion didn’t already reveal a fundamentally flawed understanding of our road laws, a quick search by Stormont Cyclist later discovered that our shouty motorist was driving an untaxed car…

Oh, the irony.

When he gets his notification from the DVLA…… pic.twitter.com/ybDj7xtOI5

— Shez (@Sh3zz4) December 14, 2023

“Nice bit of karma for him,” noted Ben Healey (no, not that one).

“Probably hasn’t got a driving licence coming out with comments like that,” added skudupnorth, while OB Cycler wrote: “I love it when drivers harass me for breaking rules they made up in their head”.

Don’t we all, don’t we all…