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  • News
box hill 2.PNG
box hill 2 (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

Bizarre anti-cycling column by schoolchild bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons; “I quit”: Visma’s crazy “AI-generated” TT helmet divides cycling world; Women’s Freedom Ride + more on the live blog

Paris-Nice is underway, Sean Kelly is back on comms, and everything is right with the world. Oh, and Ryan Mallon’s back with more cycling news and views on the Monday live blog
  • by Ryan Mallon
Mon, Mar 04, 2024 10:04
50

SUMMARY

  • Weekend round-up: Pog’s Strade Bianche demolition reaction, how to board a ferry as a cyclist, big Mike takes over the remains of Wiggle, and lots more…
  • Why phones should be banned at bike races, example 37: The worst finishing shot in cycling history?
  • Women’s Freedom Ride: Over 800 cyclists take to the roads of central London to call for safer infrastructure and streets for women
  • We’re all Ned this year…
  • Irish Transport Minister demands safer “cycling culture” that respects pedestrians and the law
  • Jonas Vingegaard tests out mad new time trial helmet… with decidedly average results
  • This is Local London’s anti-cycling ‘Young Reporter’ unmasked (not really)
  • Drum and Bass on the Bike hits Southampton, as 2,000 cyclists join DJ Dom Whiting
  • Visma’s ugly TT helmets: Thomas De Gendt speaks out
  • Juan Ayuso pips Filippo Ganna by one second to win opening Tirreno-Adriatico time trial – as Visma-Lease a Bike, Jonas Vingegaard, and their crazy helmets forced to settle for ninth
  • Man avoids jail after swearing at stewards and headbutting police officer during “shocking” incident at Glasgow world championships
  • Sustrans’ Big Walk and Wheel celebrates 15 years – and 23.9 million miles of active travel journeys to school
  • Arvid de Kleijn takes biggest win of his career in explosive and ferocious finale to sleepy Paris-Nice stage
  • More updates from hookless rimgate (there’s bound to be a catchier name than that, surely?)
  • And the winner of Visma-Lease a Bike helmet meme of the day goes to… Visma-Lease a Bike rider Attila Valter
  • “Can someone tell me this is real and not AI-generated?” Has cycling finally jumped the aero shark? Visma-Lease a Bike and Giro unveil crazy, protruding time trial helmet at Tirreno-Adriatico
  • Bizarre ‘Young Reporter’ anti-cycling opinion piece by schoolkid bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons – and claims torrential rain is “silver lining” to global warming because it frees up road for drivers
box hill 2.PNG
box hill 2 (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
4 March 2024, 10:04

Weekend round-up: Pog’s Strade Bianche demolition reaction, how to board a ferry as a cyclist, big Mike takes over the remains of Wiggle, and lots more…

It was a busy ol’ weekend across the cycling world (and I should know, I was working it).

And while Opening Weekend usually heralds the start of the road season proper (for the stuck-in-our-ways traditionalists like myself, anyway), it really doesn’t get much better than a cold, wet March double bill of Strade Bianche and the opening stage of Paris-Nice, the greatest race of them all (opinions may vary).

While Remco Evenepoel looked hungry, Egan Bernal looked sharp, and Olav Kooij looked fast in the suburbs of Paris on a murky start to the Race to the Sun, over in Tuscany, one big question floated across the vineyards and gravel tracks on Saturday evening: How do you solve a problem like SD Worx and Tadej Pogačar?

 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Lotte Kopecky (@lottekopecky)

Both demonstrated their bewildering dominance at Strade Bianche in different ways. Despite what Lidl-Trek and Elisa Longo Borghini could throw at them, SD Worx’s bewilderingly strong grip on Strade Bianche remained intact, as world champion Lotte Kopecky saw off the Italian champ on that iconic climb into Siena for her second win in three years at the Tuscan classic, and her Dutch team’s fourth – yes, fourth – Strade victory in a row.

The last rider to beat SD Worx at Strade Bianche? Annemiek van Vleuten, way back in the Covid-affected 2020 season.

Tadej Pogačar wins 2024 Strade Bianche (Zac Williams/SWpix.com)
SWpix (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Tadej Pogačar wins 2024 Strade Bianche (Zac Williams/SWpix.com)
SWpix (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

> “I’ve never seen something like this”: Is Tadej Pogačar’s “bonkers” 81km solo Strade Bianche victory modern cycling’s greatest ride?

And speaking of baffling displays of dominance, enough ink has been spilled over the weekend concerning Tadej Pogačar’s easy Saturday morning coffee ride/greatest solo victory of the 21st century (though as I mentioned in my report, AVV might have something to say about that particular assertion).

With Pog’s rivals now alerted to the level they’ll have to reach ahead of the classics, Giro, and the Tour, I thought I’d leave the last word to Tom Pidcock, who summed the whole thing up rather eloquently: “What the f***?”

> “What the f***?” Tom Pidcock stunned and Mathieu van der Poel “scared” after Tadej Pogačar left “dead bodies everywhere” with stunning Strade Bianche attack

Away from the racing, we spoke to a cyclist at the centre of a storm concerning what she believes is the “pure discrimination against cyclists” perpetrated by ferry companies, after she was refused entry to a Pembroke-Rosslare crossing because she was on a bike (and one without a motor) or in a car.

Cyclist refused entry to ferry after booking as a motorbike (Elaine Baker)
Cyclist refused entry to ferry after booking as a motorbike (Elaine Baker) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Cyclist refused entry to ferry after booking as a motorbike (Elaine Baker)
Cyclist refused entry to ferry after booking as a motorbike (Elaine Baker) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

> Cyclist slams “pure discrimination against people on bikes” after being refused entry to ferry and left stranded – despite paying for motorcycle ticket

Meanwhile, the inevitable was all but confirmed yesterday, as Mike Ashley’s Frasers Group appears set to buy the remains of what was WiggleCRC, in a move that will surely delight bike-riding Newcastle United fans everywhere.

> Mike Ashley’s Frasers Group reportedly buys Wiggle Chain Reaction Cycles for less than £10 million

Also, fines and bans were handed out to drunk (and “blind”) cyclists and recklessly undertaking motorists, while ‘Shedgates’ could also soon become confined to the road.cc archives, thanks to new government plans to relax planning laws for bike storage facilities in front gardens. A certain Dublin ex-cyclist will hope Leo Varadkar is reading…

Government consultation on bike sheds
Government consultation on bike sheds (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Government consultation on bike sheds
Government consultation on bike sheds (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

> Are bike shed planning sagas set to become a thing of the past? Government proposes to relax planning laws to allow bike storage units in front gardens

> “Panicked” motorist who mounted grass verge to undertake cyclist banned from driving for 12 months

> Blind cyclist fined for riding bike on dual carriageway while “extremely” intoxicated – months after crashing into car while cycling drunk

> Dial closure bottle cages? Plus Vittoria’s new ‘Gatorskin killer’ tyres for the toughest conditions, Shimano’s special new shoes, Finish Line’s faff-free hot wax system + more

4 March 2024, 10:04

Why phones should be banned at bike races, example 37: The worst finishing shot in cycling history?

Hear me out. Phones – at least in their photo-taking function – should be banned from all professional bike races (or any kind of sporting or music event, where the beauty of the pursuit can be most surely found through your own eyes, and not via the screen hastily placed in front of you, and blocking the views of those behind).

> Selfie-taking spectator causes huge crash at Tour de France

Because not only do they cause crashes – thanks to ‘fans’ being more eager to insert themselves into the day than watching the race itself – they also can ruin a rider’s moment of glory, as we saw on Saturday when Lotte Kopecky crossed the line in beautiful, historic Siena, resplendent in her mud-splattered rainbow jersey… only to be completely obscured by the ghastly sight of a phone, a naff folding cover, and two TV producer-infuriating hands:

Lotte Kopecky's winning Strade Bianche shot ruined by phone (Discovery+)
Lotte Kopecky's winning Strade Bianche shot ruined by phone (Discovery+) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Lotte Kopecky's winning Strade Bianche shot ruined by phone (Discovery+)
Lotte Kopecky's winning Strade Bianche shot ruined by phone (Discovery+) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

***Screams in Luddite***

Alright, off my soapbox, I go. But if you think I’m annoyed about this, imagine what Kopecky’s family at home felt like.

Maybe I should start a petition…

4 March 2024, 10:04

Women’s Freedom Ride: Over 800 cyclists take to the roads of central London to call for safer infrastructure and streets for women

Welcome to the #WomensFreedomRide 🌈🤩 pic.twitter.com/MTLghCGU2C

— London Cycling Campaign (@London_Cycling) March 3, 2024

Flags were waving, tunes were pumping, and the vibes were good yesterday on the streets of London, as over 800 cyclists rode through the centre of the capital during the five-mile-long Women’s Freedom Ride.

Organised by the London Cycling Campaign and the Women’s Network, the ride follows on from January’s survey of over 1,000 women who cycle in London, which laid bare the extent of the abuse faced by female cyclists and the need for safer routes and infrastructure that prioritises women.

> “We’ve learnt to normalise rubbish behaviour”: What stops women cycling? Abuse, intimidation, and how to make cycling safe for everyone

🤩 🚲@London_Cycling #WomensFreedomRide pic.twitter.com/c2FchgHnev

— Better Streets for Enfield (@BetterSt4Enf) March 3, 2024

As well as having a great time riding in a massive bunch through London, the Freedom Ride also saw campaigners hand a petition boasting over 5,000 signatures to Will Norman, the capital’s walking and cycling commissioner, demanding “physical safety” (so “proper” protected cycling infrastructure), “social safety” (no unlit routes and good policing), and “local routes” that think beyond the commute and incorporate the daily habits of women who cycle.

So all in all, not a bad way to spend a Sunday in London.

4 March 2024, 10:04

We’re all Ned this year…

Blowing the dust off the cycling season. First commentary with @millarmind for ⁦@itvcycling⁩ – Paris Nice highlights on tonight at the wearier time of 6 on @itv4 – spread the word! pic.twitter.com/2vJVe6XGqs

— Ned Boulting 🏳️‍⚧️ (@nedboulting) March 3, 2024

‘Remember, Ned, it’s Visma-Lease a Bike, Leeeaaaase a Bike, Lease a Bike…

‘Now, there’s Matteo Jorgenson, attacking for Jumbo-Visma – D’oh!’

Although, considering he hopped straight from the UK Open darts to commentate on Paris-Nice, I’m just surprised Mr Boulting didn’t get Remco Evenepoel and Dimitri Van den Bergh mixed up, or confuse Laurence Pithie with Luke Littler…

4 March 2024, 10:04

Irish Transport Minister demands safer “cycling culture” that respects pedestrians and the law

Cyclists in Ireland have reported being left “disappointed” by Green Party leader and Minister for Transport Eamon Ryan’s comments about bicycle riders apparently putting pedestrians in danger and lacking respect for the law, after Ryan claimed that it is “very much incumbent on the cycling community to create a culture and an attitude” that respects pedestrians and the law and is “enforced”.

Cyclist in Dublin
Cyclist in Dublin (Image Credit: CC BY-SA 2.0)
Cyclist in Dublin
Cyclist in Dublin (Image Credit: CC BY-SA 2.0)

Read more: > Irish Transport Minister demands safer “cycling culture” that respects pedestrians and the law

4 March 2024, 10:04

Jonas Vingegaard tests out mad new time trial helmet… with decidedly average results

Alright, alright, the roads were quite damp, and a pan-flat, coastal 10km time trial isn’t exactly his forte, but Jonas Vingegaard’s debut in Giro’s wild, aesthetically offensive time trial helmet was… okay.

🥇 Jonas Vingegaard has finished the time-trial with a time of 11:46!

He now sits in the 3rd virtual position, behind @sorenweren and @kevin_vauquelin

🔱#TirrenoAdriatico pic.twitter.com/KjwufhA6AW

— Tirreno Adriatico (@TirrenAdriatico) March 4, 2024

The two-time Tour de France winner is currently sitting in fifth on the provisional classification of today’s opening Tirreno Adriatico stage  – with the likes of Filippo Ganna still to come – and 22 seconds down on GC rival Juan Ayuso, who was sporting what now seems like a very old-school TT lid.

⏱️11’24” for @juann_ayuso who absolutely destroys the previous fastest time of @sorenweren

How long will the 🇪🇸 stay in the hot seat ?

🔱 #TirrenoAdriatico pic.twitter.com/1lqPtVX7zL

— Tirreno Adriatico (@TirrenAdriatico) March 4, 2024

Along with the so-far average results, Giro’s new “innovative” look is continuing to churn out the jokesters on social media:

pic.twitter.com/HqbuYkIf7f

— Dan M ⚒ 🚲 🚁📹 (@SirArthurIndeed) March 4, 2024

pic.twitter.com/sLMNZyJcfy

— Kari♀️🚴‍♀️🇲🇽🇺🇲🇩🇪 (@d_kscullyX) March 4, 2024

It’s a sandcrawler. pic.twitter.com/ymmDmiLCIj

— Edward Pickering (@EdwardPickering) March 4, 2024

Meanwhile, our YouTube supremo and tech nerd Jamie tells me one of his friends got in touch to say: “Might as well just allow bikes with fairings at this point, instead of letting the rider become the fairing.”

Now there’s an idea…

4 March 2024, 10:04

This is Local London’s anti-cycling ‘Young Reporter’ unmasked (not really)

Great detective work here from Eddy, who swiftly worked out the identity of this morning’s anti-cycling columnist in the making:

pic.twitter.com/V0c406rsug

— Just Some Fella 🍉 (@EddyRhead) March 4, 2024

Ah, it all makes perfect sense now…

4 March 2024, 10:04

Drum and Bass on the Bike hits Southampton, as 2,000 cyclists join DJ Dom Whiting

Simply amazing afternoon! Thanks @domwhiting pic.twitter.com/jFm3uXO5hE

— Soton Bike Kitchen (@SotBikeKitchen) March 3, 2024

Everyone’s favourite pedalling drum and bass DJ (okay, the only one) Dom Whiting made his first appearance of the year in Southampton yesterday, attracting 2,000 music fans who cycled and wheeled their way through the city in the usual blur of colour and noise.

“It’s been four months since I’ve been on the bike,” Whiting told the crowd. “I’ve had a nice break and it’s given me time to think about what I want to do this year.

“It’s quite time-consuming but I love doing it, it’s amazing.”

4 March 2024, 10:04

Visma’s ugly TT helmets: Thomas De Gendt speaks out

I’m not going to say the tt helmets are ugly. I’m just saying it’s a good moment to stop cycling.

— Thomas De Gendt (@DeGendtThomas) March 4, 2024

Hard to argue with that… 

4 March 2024, 10:04

Juan Ayuso pips Filippo Ganna by one second to win opening Tirreno-Adriatico time trial – as Visma-Lease a Bike, Jonas Vingegaard, and their crazy helmets forced to settle for ninth

😮‍💨*Aaaaaaand breathe*@juann_ayuso | 🔱#TirrenoAdriatico pic.twitter.com/Ou5sY15I7D

— Tirreno Adriatico (@TirrenAdriatico) March 4, 2024

On a stage dominated by the internet frenzy surrounding Visma-Lease a Bike’s, errr, daring new helmet design, two riders not resembling characters from a low-budget 1960s sci-fi film fought it out for the win, as early starter Juan Ayuso pipped Filippo Ganna – who has made time trialling in Italy in March his speciality in recent years – by just one second to take the opening 10km time trial at Tirreno-Adriatico in Lido di Camaiore.

Behind the front two, Israel-Premier Tech’s British sprinter Ethan Vernon missed out on a podium place by a solitary second to Jonathan Milan, while the best-placed representative of Visma’s mad helmet brigade, Jonas Vingegaard, managed ninth, 22 seconds down on race leader Ayuso, a welcome boost for the UAE Team Emirates prospect ahead of the anticipated GC battle later in the week.

Nice start to Tirreno ITT. Pleased with 3rd with this company https://t.co/FgnuSIytBt

— Ethan Vernon (@EthanVernon22) March 4, 2024

And considering Vingegaard was the only Visma-Lease a Bike rider who made it into the top 20 during today’s stage, it’s safe to say that Giro’s debut advertisement for their “innovative” new design could have gone better…

4 March 2024, 10:04

Man avoids jail after swearing at stewards and headbutting police officer during “shocking” incident at Glasgow world championships

A 30-year-old who lashed out at a police officer after shouting at stewards working at August’s world cycling championships in Glasgow has been ordered to complete 180 hours of unpaid work.

Kyle Thompson headbutted an officer during an altercation in the city’s George Square on 6 August 2023, the night of the men’s road race won by Mathieu van der Poel, the Glasgow Times reports.

The former sales manager had been reported by stewards at the security entrance point to George Square, where the podium and other worlds-related stalls and activities were set up for the duration of the championships, after he shouted and swore at them.

After being approached by police, Thompson told them to “f*** off, you corrupt c***s” and “get to f*** or I will kill you”.

He was then placed under arrest, prompting him to shout: “Get your hands off me you c***s, I have done f*** all.”

Thompson was then restrained on the ground by officers, where he began to throw his head forward on several occasions, connecting with one officer.

He pleaded guilty this week to assaulting the officer and behaving in a threatening or abusive manner.

Thomas Gallagher, defending, told the court: “I am embarrassed on behalf of my client. His actions on that day were shocking.

“This was a serving police officer during an international event. He expresses his regret.”

Sentencing Thompson to 180 hours of unpaid work, while also placing him under supervision and ordering him to attend alcohol counselling for 12 months, Sheriff Mark McGuire told the father-of-one: “This was an appalling piece of behaviour. Your conduct took place in the middle of a national and international event which could have sparked serious disorder.

“I take on board that I am sentencing you on what you have done. Don’t engage in this type of conduct again – take it from me you will be going to prison.”

4 March 2024, 10:04

Sustrans’ Big Walk and Wheel celebrates 15 years – and 23.9 million miles of active travel journeys to school

Active travel charity Sustrans is celebrating the 15th anniversary of its Big Walk and Wheel, the UK’s biggest inter-school walking and cycling challenge.

First established in 2009, this year’s challenge will start next Monday and run to 22 March, encouraging children to walk, cycle, wheel, and scoot to primary and secondary school, improving air quality around schools and saving money for parents.

Since 2011, when data was first collected on the challenge, 23.9 million miles have been travelled by pupils as part of over 15.9 million active travel journeys to school – amounting to, as Sustrans notes, 200 active travel trips to the moon, or over 1,900 journeys around the Earth.

By reducing car journeys to and from school by 31.7 million, Sustrans add, 12,700 tonnes of CO2 were stopped from polluting the air on the school run during the challenge’s run.

Open to all primary and secondary schools, the Big Walk and Wheel has been estimated to save parents £1.6 million in fuel costs during its two weeks.

tfl child and parent cycling to school - via tfl
tfl child and parent cycling to school - via tfl (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
tfl child and parent cycling to school - via tfl
tfl child and parent cycling to school – via tfl (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

“I am proud that together with thousands of partnering schools, and millions of parents and children across the UK we are able to celebrate 15 years of the Sustrans Big Walk and Wheel,” Sustrans CEO Xavier Brice says.

“People want to have a choice in how they travel, and 15 years of the Big Walk and Wheel shows that when people are given the opportunity to travel actively – they will take it. Sustrans will continue to work in partnership with others to ensure that every generation of children can choose to have fun walking, wheeling, and cycling to school.”

“The Sustrans Walk and Wheel challenge gives kids and their parents a reason to try travelling differently, to get to school under their own steam and in doing so, they get a taste of what a healthier and greener future can be like,” Active Travel Commissioner Chris Boardman adds.

“In fact, it’s proved so popular for thousands of communities, it continues to go from strength to strength. We want to make it more than an annual event, we want this to become a normal part of every school day for millions, and by the looks of it, so do the kids.”

4 March 2024, 10:04

Arvid de Kleijn takes biggest win of his career in explosive and ferocious finale to sleepy Paris-Nice stage

It was one of those days at Paris-Nice – a race that can explode into life at any moment – characterised by tension, nervy moments, and the occasional crash, rather than any real racing action, as the peloton proceeded to slowly trundle along, almost entirely intact, for most of the 178km between Thoiry and Montargis, a soporific situation aided by the lack of wind that usually wreaks havoc on the bunch during these early, exposed stages south.

Until the last two kilometres that is.

Helped by the tranquillity of the rest of the stage, the finale was a fast and frantic one, full of panicked, late surges, and shoulder barges, and concluding with a breakthrough win both for Arvid de Kleijn (who powered impressively to the first WorldTour win of his career) and his Tudor Pro Cycling team, who broke their duck for 2024 at one of the sport’s biggest races.

👀 🇳🇱Arvid de Kleijn tout en puissance 💪

👀 A strong sprint by 🇳🇱Arvid de Kleijn 💪#ParisNice pic.twitter.com/MCm4eXWgQS

— Paris-Nice (@ParisNice) March 4, 2024

Behind a roaring De Kleijn, Groupama-FDJ’s Laurence Pithie upgraded his third from yesterday to second today, a result that proved enough to move him into the yellow jersey, another remarkable milestone for the 21-year-old Kiwi in what is proving to be a dream second season in the WorldTour.

And with a team time trial tomorrow around Auxerre, the presence of Visma-Lease a Bike’s new helmets – all lined up in a row like a weird fever dream – will at least give us something to talk about for most of the day…

4 March 2024, 10:04

More updates from hookless rimgate (there’s bound to be a catchier name than that, surely?)

Thomas De Gendt's Zipp wheel after UAE Tour crash (Discovery+)
Thomas De Gendt's Zipp wheel after UAE Tour crash (Discovery+) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Thomas De Gendt's Zipp wheel after UAE Tour crash (Discovery+)
Thomas De Gendt's Zipp wheel after UAE Tour crash (Discovery+) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

> “Our systems are proven safe”: Zipp joins hookless rim discussion — as photo appears to show Lotto Dstny rider suffer issue at Strade Bianche

4 March 2024, 10:04

And the winner of Visma-Lease a Bike helmet meme of the day goes to… Visma-Lease a Bike rider Attila Valter

Attila Valter Visma helmet meme (Instagram)
Attila Valter Visma helmet meme (Instagram) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Attila Valter Visma helmet meme (Instagram)
Attila Valter Visma helmet meme (Instagram) (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

Fair play Attila – because if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Though this one’s not bad either:

pic.twitter.com/66SgUhY8w4

— Dean Bowmer (@BowmerDean) March 4, 2024

Alright, that’s the last of the helmet jokes, I promise (for today’s blog, anyway)…

4 March 2024, 10:04

“Can someone tell me this is real and not AI-generated?” Has cycling finally jumped the aero shark? Visma-Lease a Bike and Giro unveil crazy, protruding time trial helmet at Tirreno-Adriatico

So, it turns out that the recent trend for increasingly bonkers, space-age, and aesthetically naff time trial helmets – the POC Tempor and its wings, Kask’s ski goggle visor, Specialized’s 1960s sci-fi attempt complete with Samir Nasri-inspired snood, and Uno-X and Sweet Protection’s mega flared bumblebee look from last year – were all merely stepping stones along the garish aero river that leads directly to today.

Because, ahead of today’s opening 10km time trial Tirreno-Adriatico, Visma-Lease a Bike’s Jonas Vingegaard and co set out for a recon of the course in Lido di Camaiore… wearing what can only be described as the maddest TT helmet you’re ever likely to see.

🇮🇹 #TirrenoAdriatico

Recon time. 👀

Excited to use our brand new innovative Giro helmets for the first time. 🚀 pic.twitter.com/B7uj77Iwq9

— Team Visma | Lease a Bike (@vismaleaseabike) March 4, 2024

Cycling, eh? Bloody hell.

Giro’s new “innovative” design (Visma’s words, not mine) certainly mimics the trend for increasingly spherical, bulging aero shapes – though I have to say the massive sky-wards point at the front is a new one for me.

It’s so mad, our own Jo Burt couldn’t quite believe his eyes.

“Can someone tell me this is real and not AI-generated?” Jo asked in our tech group chat, echoing the general opinion around the cycling world at this latest affront to Coppi-esque style and restraint (though on the other hand, the 1980s also happened in cycling, an often confusing mash-up between the cool and the crazy. Which is why we love it, I suppose).

Other pros, however, such as Bora sprinter Sam Welsford, aren’t as diplomatic as I am:

I quit https://t.co/F4I4Yz5Z7L

— Sam Welsford (@sam_welsford) March 4, 2024

No pressure on Vingegaard to win today wearing that, eh?

4 March 2024, 10:04

Bizarre ‘Young Reporter’ anti-cycling opinion piece by schoolkid bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons – and claims torrential rain is “silver lining” to global warming because it frees up road for drivers

Here on the live blog, we’re well used to all manner of anti-cycling opinion pieces by now.

You know the ones I’m talking about. The cliché-ridden diatribes about “Lycra-clad” menaces who “think they own the roads”, often prefaced with the obligatory ‘I ride a bike but…’ introductions, spewed out by grizzled, worn-down hacks, searching for some tiny scrap of relevance in a changing media landscape (and often found in the Spectator).

Or the cartoonish, pro-motoring, outrageous opinions about the “cycling Stasi”, expressed to a column deadline, every week, for money, by over-the-top, un-human caricatures (Hi, Jezza).

Jeremy Clarkson Sun column
Jeremy Clarkson Sun column (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Jeremy Clarkson Sun column
Jeremy Clarkson Sun column (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

> Jeremy Clarkson “anti-cycling” column “peddles hate for easy money”… but does anyone actually care any more?

Or maybe it’s the faux-edgy anti-cycling rhetoric you’re after, grasped clumsily in the dark by super-cool ex-GB News producers like Charlotte Gill?

Yes, we’ve seen them all. Or so we thought.

Because, in yesterday’s ‘Young Reporter’ section of local news site This is Local London, where it appears schoolchildren have the opportunity to hone their journalistic credentials, emerged one of their more bizarre anti-cycling rants we’ve seen published in recent times…

All because the cyclists who frequent Surrey’s famous Box Hill made the kid late for a music lesson, apparently.

ride london box hill.jpg
ride london box hill (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
ride london box hill.jpg
ride london box hill (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

“Anyone that lives in Dorking is probably familiar with the swarms of road cyclists in the area around Box Hill, converging around the National Trust Cafe, a conveniently located purveyor of cake and expensive coffee, right at the top of Zig Zag Road,” the student begins, warming us up nicely for what’s to come (Jake Wallis Simons would be proud).

The budding ‘young reporter’ continues:

For anyone not aware of Zig Zag Road, it is a zigzagging road up Box Hill that is essential for anyone who wants to reach the other side of Box Hill without having to go on a 5-mile diversion.

Unfortunately, it is also the favoured habitat of the rural road cyclist, due to several factors, such as: it has numerous switchbacks; a near constant gradient, the road is smooth, it has nice views, and it is very difficult for cars to pass. In fact, it has been voted the nicest climb in the world on the app Strava, beating routes made famous on the Tour de France such as the Alpe d’Huez. The infamous local road has been tackled by 103,268 cyclists, a total of 773,437 times as recorded by Strava.

And as you can imagine, the plagues of two-wheeled vermin make it an exercise in frustration to even attempt to drive up, especially at the weekends.

Charming (but at least it’s well written, I suppose).

It gets better, though. So, what does our young journo reckon is the ‘silver lining’ to the increasing threat of climate change, partially caused by the fumes of motorists clogging up our roads? Err, torrential rain, which causes cyclists to stay at home and frees up Box Hill for people in cars.

Box Hill
Box Hill (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)
Box Hill
Box Hill (Image Credit: Farrelly Atkinson)

That view would be much better if there were heaps of cars…

“However, our salvation is upon us!” the young reporter exclaims. “We have recently been experiencing the torrential rain that heralds the arrival of spring, acerbated [I assume they mean ‘exacerbated’?] by extreme weather patterns associated with global warming. 

“For a brief window, the roads are free of this cycling menace! Few cyclists dare set out in this weather in their aerodynamic, but not warming, lycra.

“In conclusion, in finding a tiny, ephemeral silver lining to the dark clouds of global warming, this morning it was safe to use this convenient road as it was intended, once more: to drive up it and I am happy to announce we arrived on time for my music lesson.”

Blimey. Well, at least we know they’re starting them young, anyway. What next, AI? Probably best not to go there…

4 March 2024, 10:04

The forensic analysis you’ve all been waiting for: We dissect THAT helmet design… and ask: Is it a step too far?

Is Jonas Vingegaard’s latest time trial helmet one step too far?

Is Jonas Vingegaard’s latest time trial helmet one step too far?

Team Visma-Lease a Bike rode the Tirreno-Adriatico time trial in new alien-esque Giro TT lid, while Bahrain Victorious debuted an unreleased helmet from Rudy Project

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  • anti-cycling column, cycling live blog, Helmets, live blog, road.cc live blog, Visma-Lease a Bike
Ryan Mallon
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After obtaining a PhD, lecturing, and hosting a history podcast at Queen’s University Belfast, Ryan joined road.cc in December 2021 and since then has kept the site’s readers and listeners informed and enthralled (well at least occasionally) on news, the live blog, and the road.cc Podcast. After boarding a wrong bus at the world championships and ruining a good pair of jeans at the cyclocross, he now serves as road.cc’s senior news writer. Before his foray into cycling journalism, he wallowed in the equally pitiless world of academia, where he wrote a book about Victorian politics and droned on about cycling and bikes to classes of bored students (while taking every chance he could get to talk about cycling in print or on the radio). He can be found riding his bike very slowly around the narrow, scenic country lanes of Co. Down.  

50 Comments

50 thoughts on “Bizarre anti-cycling column by schoolchild bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons; “I quit”: Visma’s crazy “AI-generated” TT helmet divides cycling world; Women’s Freedom Ride + more on the live blog”

  1. Tom_77
    March 4, 2024 at 10:23 am
    0

    Daily Echo article on Drum

    Daily Echo article on Drum and Bass On The Bike – Southampton: Dom Whiting draws estimated crowd of 2,000

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  2. mark1a
    March 4, 2024 at 10:31 am
    0

    I wonder if the instrument in

    I wonder if the instrument in question was a cello?

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    • chrisonabike
      March 4, 2024 at 10:44 am
      0

      beat me too it.

      beat me too it.

      Next week: how providing cycle infra for selfish “TdF Wannabes” in Cambridge is preventing kids from hard-working families fulfilling their archery potential…

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      • brooksby
        March 4, 2024 at 10:58 am
        0

        chrisonabike wrote:

        beat me too it.

        — chrisonabike

        And me too.  I only logged in so I could ask publicly whether the young reporter goes to one of the best cello teachers in Kent…

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    • IanMK
      March 4, 2024 at 12:03 pm
      0

      As the Yahudi Menuhin school

      As the Yahudi Menuhin school for the musically gifted is probbably only a 20 minute drive from his teacher at the top of Box Hill I think we can rule out the possibility that he’s the next Julian Lloyd Weber.

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  3. the little onion
    March 4, 2024 at 10:46 am
    0

    Sounds like this young

    Sounds like this young reporter is being radicalised. Can we call Prevent on them?

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    • Dnnnnnn
      March 4, 2024 at 11:37 am
      0

      the little onion wrote:

      Sounds like this young reporter is being radicalised. Can we call Prevent on them?

      — the little onion

      Possibly. But a direct email and a complaint to IPSO might be enough to make him think twice in future.
      newsdesk@london.newsquest.co.uk
      http://www.ipso.co.uk/contact-us

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  4. Kapelmuur
    March 4, 2024 at 11:05 am
    0

    Anyone using the word

    Anyone using the word ‘purveyor’ and/or ’emporium’ immediately outs themselves as pompous twats.

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    • the little onion
      March 4, 2024 at 11:08 am
      0

      I am a purveyor of carefully

      I am a purveyor of carefully curated artesinal items in my emporium, in a variety of colourways

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    • tigersnapper
      March 4, 2024 at 11:38 am
      0

      Or someone who knows how to

      Or someone who knows how to use a thesaurus.

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  5. Hirsute
    March 4, 2024 at 11:07 am
    0

    Great stuff guys

    Great stuff guys

    Bogbrush

     

    To any new folk – trying to explain the comments – well, you had to have been there !

     

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  6. wycombewheeler
    March 4, 2024 at 11:11 am
    0

    Kid knows his bike facts. He

    Kid knows his bike facts. He’s probably just being anti to increase his chances of a career in journlism, so he can bring the system down from within.

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    • tigersnapper
      March 4, 2024 at 11:41 am
      0

      I thought that about the

      I thought that about the quoted facts as I read it.  He’ll never be a journalist – looking up facts and quoting them, or are they just made up like a real journo would do?

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      • Matthew Acton-Varian
        March 4, 2024 at 1:39 pm
        0

        The remit of a Journalist now

        The remit of a Journalist now is to go on Twitter (X) and copy-paste some rando’s opinion from a related hashtag. I doubt anyone who works at a major National news publication has any knowledge of how to conduct proper and throrugh research and investigation.

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        • chrisonabike
          March 4, 2024 at 2:16 pm
          0

          That was a year or so back. 

          That was a year or so back.  Now – “journalist” can also mean “I provide the picture and name (for now…) which goes next to AI-generated copy” surely?

          I imagine we’re already working on having the sources being generated and installed if they don’t exist and the algorithms feel the original text needs them!  (Poor Nigel will be out of business on Wikipedia soon…)

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  7. mctrials23
    March 4, 2024 at 11:21 am
    0

    Such eloquence from someone

    Such eloquence from someone so young. Ignoring that though its a great insight into the mind of drivers and non-cyclists. They cannot fathom that what cyclist want and what they want are just as valuable. They wanted to get to their music lesson (which is obviously vitally important) and the cyclists wanted to do their hobby. They don’t whinge and write opinion pieces when it takes them 1 hour to go 10 miles anywhere built up due to traffic. Thats perfectly OK because all the other people in the cars are obviously going about their very important business just like them. Certainly not travelling for leisure persuits…like those lycra clad louts. 

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    • MattKelland
      March 4, 2024 at 1:41 pm
      0

      It just seems like they’re

      It just seems like they’re quoting their parents’ moans verbatim. I hope little Wilfred learns to think for himself one day.

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      • belugabob
        March 4, 2024 at 1:48 pm
        0

        I suspect that mummy did
        I suspect that mummy did their homework for them.

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  8. Clem Fandango
    March 4, 2024 at 11:31 am
    0

    The Zig Zag Road is also

    The Zig Zag Road is also privately owned (by the National Trust) and so I’m guessing isn’t really part of the road transport network & our intrepid reporter is just lucky that the owners are happy for four wheeled scum to use it.   The NT have also painted stuff like this on its surface.  Maybe that’s one of those “factors” that draws local cyclists in? You know – the NT actively encourages & welcomes us.

    Still, they (is it just me that hears Harry Enfield’s Tory Boy in my head when reading that guff?) mentioned lycra so I’m sure a career at the Heil or Torygraph awaits.

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    • Clem Fandango
      March 4, 2024 at 11:30 am
      0

      Equally – have you ever tried
      Equally – have you ever tried descending the zig zag road on a bike? Often an exercise in frustration with slower moving metal boxes constantly getting in your way…..

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      • mctrials23
        March 4, 2024 at 12:13 pm
        0

        Don’t suggest that cars get

        Don’t suggest that cars get the way of cyclists. Thats madness. Anyway, i’m sure those cars are only holding you up because a cyclist is holding them up. Must be. 

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      • belugabob
        March 4, 2024 at 3:47 pm
        0

        Clem Fandango wrote:

        Equally – have you ever tried descending the zig zag road on a bike? Often an exercise in frustration with slower moving metal boxes constantly getting in your way…..

        — Clem Fandango

        I’ve only descended it once – took great pleasure in overtaking several motorbikes and cars ( being on an MTB allowed to to treat the speed bumps with impunity, whilst everybody else slowed down

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    • IanMK
      March 4, 2024 at 12:00 pm
      0

      Most of the cyslists heading

      Most of the cyslists heading up there are going to stop at the cafe so at least will be paying for the upkeep of the road. I like to think of it as a “Road Tax”. 

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      • chrisonabike
        March 4, 2024 at 12:29 pm
        0

        IanMK wrote:

        Most of the cyslists heading up there are going to stop at the cafe so at least will be paying for the upkeep of the road. I like to think of it as a “Road Tax”. 

        — IanMK

        Rocky road tax?  (Other sugary confections are available)

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    • stonojnr
      March 4, 2024 at 12:46 pm
      0

      Is the 5mile detour that bad
      Is the 5mile detour that bad for cars that you’d choose to drive up Box Hill?

      Also life lesson for the kid, if you end up somewhere late, then you didn’t set off early enough.

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      • Clem Fandango
        March 4, 2024 at 1:04 pm
        0

        Yep. Always astounds me that

        Yep. Always astounds me that anyone would consciously choose to drive somewhere like Box Hill and then be somewhow surprised to encounter cyclists of all things……

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        • IanMK
          March 4, 2024 at 1:19 pm
          0

          Clem Fandango wrote:

          Yep. Always astounds me that anyone would consciously choose to drive somewhere like Box Hill and then be somewhow surprised to encounter cyclists of all things……

          — Clem Fandango

          I think the percentage of people driving up there for recreational purposes will be very high Indeed. Not well thought through to complain about the cyclists doing the same and in the same breath bringing up climate change.

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      • OnYerBike
        March 4, 2024 at 2:46 pm
        0

        The “5 mile diversion” is

        The “5 mile diversion” is simply factually incorrect. Unless the brat’s music lesson is actually in Box Hill village itself, I challenge anyone to suggest a journey for which going over Box Hill is the shortest, let alone fastest route. Just checking on Google, from Rykas (cafe at the bottom of the zig-zag) to Pebble Coombe (village on the other side of Box Hill) is 4.2 miles if you go up the zig-zag road, or 4.0 miles if you go round Headley Lane. 

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    • quiff
      March 4, 2024 at 6:06 pm
      0

      Aww, how cute, it thinks the

      Aww, how cute, it thinks the intended purpose of the road was for cars. I wonder why it has such a nice smooth surface?

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  9. HoarseMann
    March 4, 2024 at 11:50 am
    0

    Good old local news. Saw this

    Good old local news. Saw this in a recent local publication, pavement cycling being casually equated with a knife attack! Quite funny really, especially as I’m not aware there’s ever been a knife attack in this quiet town (plenty of pavement cycling though, due to a lack of cycling infrastructure and dodgy drivers)…

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    • quiff
      March 4, 2024 at 6:02 pm
      0

      Ah, the good old days – when

      Ah, the good old days – when you had to work more than full-time to earn a decent wage. (Not sure much has actually changed there, but I love how they have romanticised it).

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    • Rendel Harris
      March 5, 2024 at 6:27 am
      0

      Does one only have to be wary

      Does one only have to be wary of uninsured electric bike and scooter riders? Does it hurt less if one gets hit by an uninsured one?

      Love an 84-year-old telling us “although times were hard” as if they lived through the Great Depression – their working life would have spanned roughly 1960-2000, a period which, although it had a few bumps in the road, was overall just about the most prosperous in history.

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  10. Matthew Acton-Varian
    March 4, 2024 at 1:36 pm
    0

    Fairplay to the Giro

    Fairplay to the Giro designers who have inadvertently created a beautiful sarcastic clap back that will shut up the “D*ckhead Cyclists” drivers.

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  11. eburtthebike
    March 4, 2024 at 3:43 pm
    0

    Given their lack of actual

    Given their lack of actual facts, bias and faux passion, I think it’s safe to say that the Young Reporter has set their sights on a career with the Daily Mail.

    Log In or Register to post comments
    • lesterama
      March 4, 2024 at 6:12 pm
      0

      Nah, Spectator, with his

      Nah, Spectator, with his ostentatious style

      Log In or Register to post comments
  12. levestane
    March 4, 2024 at 4:45 pm
    0

    Make the helmet bigger and

    Make the helmet bigger and put the whole bike in it, maybe it’s already been done…

    Log In or Register to post comments
    • chrisonabike
      March 4, 2024 at 5:25 pm
      0

      Probably needs more chinstrap

      Probably needs more chinstrap and expanded foam, but here you go…

      Log In or Register to post comments
  13. Rendel Harris
    March 4, 2024 at 6:27 pm
    0

    Surely that column must have

    Surely that column must have been written by Martin73’s daughter, who, as we all remember, would have been denied the services of “Kent’s best cello teacher” if daddy didn’t have a motor?

    Log In or Register to post comments
  14. Oldfatgit
    March 4, 2024 at 6:56 pm
    0

    For those of us not in the
    For those of us not in the know … is there *actually* a music teacher at the top of Box Hill – or even anywhere *on* Box Hill?

    Log In or Register to post comments
    • dubwise
      March 4, 2024 at 8:28 pm
      0

      Is it a hill?
      Is it a hill?

      Log In or Register to post comments
      • john_smith
        March 4, 2024 at 9:57 pm
        0

        It’s more a hill than a box,

        It’s more a hill than a box, at any rate.

        Log In or Register to post comments
  15. john_smith
    March 4, 2024 at 6:57 pm
    0

    Am I the only reader who

    Am I the only reader who finds the use of “vermin” to describe other human beings a little bit worrying? That’s the kind of language the nazis used to describe people they subsequently sent to death camps.

    Log In or Register to post comments
    • dubwise
      March 4, 2024 at 8:27 pm
      0

      Don’t forget the Israelis,
      Don’t forget the Israelis, that’s how they refer to others.

      Log In or Register to post comments
      • john_smith
        March 4, 2024 at 9:56 pm
        0

        Why not say Jews and be done

        I haven’t forgotten “the Israelis”. And it’s not how “they” refer to “others”.

        Log In or Register to post comments
        • Rome73
          March 5, 2024 at 7:43 am
          0

          https://www.middleeastmonitor

          https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20240225-actress-dehumanises-palestinians-calling-them-vermin-on-israeli-tv/

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      • the little onion
        March 5, 2024 at 9:12 am
        0

        dubwise wrote:

        Don’t forget the Israelis, that’s how they refer to others.

        — dubwise

         

        Israeli “government”, thank you very much! Not all Israelis!

        Log In or Register to post comments
    • JohnP_SM7
      March 5, 2024 at 12:03 am
      0

      I read this kid’s rant

      I read this kid’s rant earlier today and found it to be utterly bizarre,  insulting, and mostly fact-free.  

      But I guess I’m probably part of the “problem” – I live fairly locally to the hill and cycled up it for my 72nd time on Saturday.  As is often the case I saw very few other cyclists on the hill,  and hardly any cars.  One car did pass me three times,  but only because its driver kept stopping (on the wrong side of the road) mid-way up to look at the view.  He clearly had no difficulty passing me afterwards each time,  though he did himself cause a bit of a holdup to a car coming down the hill whose path he’d blocked while he admired the view.

      Methinks this kid is trying to win the Boris Johnson “make up your own facts” Award for Journalism…

      Log In or Register to post comments
  16. don simon fbpe
    March 4, 2024 at 8:48 pm
    0

    Well, Wilfred, do you win or

    Well, Wilfred, do you win or lose at soggy biscuit?

    Log In or Register to post comments
  17. Paul J
    March 5, 2024 at 9:59 am
    0

    I’ve been looking at that
    I’ve been looking at that newspaper page photo for dozens of minutes of now, but I still can’t see anything about cyclists. I think I’ll have to keep looking at it.

    Log In or Register to post comments
  18. mattw
    March 5, 2024 at 4:58 pm
    0

    I’m not sure about Charlotte

    I’m not sure about Charlotte C Gill being “cool”.

    She comes across as the meeting point of two planks.

    Log In or Register to post comments

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Latest Comments

jamesha100 8 hours ago

Same here. I have a helmet with built in front and rear lights and have a red light clipped onto my bag plus lights attached to my bike front and rear but still have drivers putting me in danger. My commute is about two miles and I normally have around four incidents a week where I have to brake hard or take other evasive action to avoid being hit by distracted drivers. A big percentage of these are drivers coming on to roundabouts when I am already on them.

in: “Driving a bus is difficult enough”: Bus drivers’ union says mandatory hi-vis jackets for cyclists would “make roads a safer place” and hits out at “poor visibility” of people on bikes
geomannie 531 8 hours ago

Glasgow's South City Way sounds great, does it not? As a user from before and after I wholeheartedly welcome the construction of the segregated route, but so much of the detailed construction is poor, if not unsafe. I provide a link to a presentation I made when construction was half complete (a personal view) and the construction errors remain outstanding to this day: crossed by high speed flared road junctions, poor colour differentiation, car door zone risks and so on. And yet cyclists come because they feel safe. It's a complex subject but IMHO the feeling of safety (or lack of) is a critical component. https://drive.proton.me/urls/B67AK44G90#CFueBGjscoWr

in: Cyclists outnumbering drivers at rush hour on busy Glasgow road, as campaigners hail “colossal” impact of safe cycle lanes
Jetmans Dad 8 hours ago

I can only conclude that you haven't been into a city in the last few years. Food delivery riders in particular are riding overpowered "eBikes" that are basically mopeds ... powered only via the throttle without pedalling at significantly more than 15mph. Problem is they look like normal bikes/ebikes and not like mopeds so that is what people describe them as. My reading of the article is that it is those vehicles that are being talked about here.

in: “Driving a bus is difficult enough”: Bus drivers’ union says mandatory hi-vis jackets for cyclists would “make roads a safer place” and hits out at “poor visibility” of people on bikes
AidanR 9 hours ago

I have the Trace and Tracer, which have essentially the same design, albeit smaller and less powerful. The controls are a little complicated but only because there are loads of options. In reality, once you've chosen your level of brightness, you'll only cycle through 1 or 2 options and it's dead simple. The lights are rock solid, bright, with good runtimes. The only thing I find annoying is charging them - if your fingers are slightly wet or greasy, getting the rubber out of the way of the charging port is a pain in the arse.

in: Exposure Boost 3
mdavidford 11 hours ago

Dance and padel is all very well, but when is Strava going to let me record my gardening?

in: Inventor of hand-worn cycling indicator thinks new brighter lights will win cyclists round after dim start to crowdfunding campaign — plus some very bling bars and… a speedsuit for gravel?!
mdavidford 11 hours ago

You can use it to check whether it's raining.

in: Inventor of hand-worn cycling indicator thinks new brighter lights will win cyclists round after dim start to crowdfunding campaign — plus some very bling bars and… a speedsuit for gravel?!
Rendel Harris 11 hours ago

If it's dusk, i.e. post-sunset, then the cyclists should have lights on and thus the colour of their top is irrelevant. If you want to complain about cyclists not having lights when it's mandatory then by all means do but their top has nothing to do with it.

in: “Driving a bus is difficult enough”: Bus drivers’ union says mandatory hi-vis jackets for cyclists would “make roads a safer place” and hits out at “poor visibility” of people on bikes
Bright Strider 11 hours ago

All of my Exposure lights with a button allow cycling through the modes with a short press. I have five of those; it would be odd if Exposure didn’t allow this functionality with the Boost 3. I also have two Exposure Burners if I remember correctly: they are rear lights for joysticks that clip on and are powered through the joystick charging port. They don’t have a button. None of my Exposure lights have failed. I looked at the Boost 3 review photos but none showed the button, so far as I could tell. I also have Moon lights. Good experience generally. One did fail, possibly because it was so thin it used to fall through the holes in my helmet onto the ground. Also, the UI and charge indicators vary for my Moon lights. Perhaps the latest ones are more consistent. My worst lights ever were from See.Sense.

in: Exposure Boost 3
STATO 12 hours ago

Steve really doesnt like exposure products does he? Boost and Strada marked down for being too complicated. While the Zenith and Six Pack reviewed by his colleagues give them rave reviews (as most exposure products have on road.cc), the Zenith even touted as 'even more intuitive to use' with the same controls.

in: Exposure Boost 3
Hirsute 13 hours ago

They are more interested in dog shit. https://www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/people/lancaster-police-launch-search-for-person-who-sprayed-dog-faeces-with-pink-paint-5605519

in: Police receive record number of camera submissions in 2025… most of them from cyclists (again)

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