Hi there, Mary Dejevsky, writer, broadcaster, and former foreign correspondent in Moscow, Paris and Washington, and welcome to Monday’s round of anti-cycling bingo, you’re just in time.
And thanks to Spectator columnist Dejevsky’s late entry into the admittedly packed world of questionable transport-related rants, today’s edition of anti-cycling bingo has a noticeably retro, Cold War feel to it.
Because, Mr Gorbachev, Britain’s roads are becoming a “Soviet nightmare” thanks to the plethora of climate-focused, low traffic schemes introduced over the past few years.
We’re back in the USSR, and you don’t know how lucky you are, boys, apparently.
Now to the reasonings behind this Reagan-esque assertion. After a lengthy exposition of her fine – which she successfully appealed – for driving her car on a ‘prohibited road’ in London, Dejevsky argues her opposition to LTNs, CANs, and the like isn’t, in fact, about the penalty notice. Nor is it about the “hassle” or money earned by councils using these schemes, or doubts about improved air quality, or their effect on businesses.
Rather, councils, she argues, are declaring themselves “a patchwork of effectively gated communities, or no-go zones for through traffic, which is exactly the sort of traffic that needs to get through”.
“These are public roads,” she writes. “They were built, or adapted, for vehicles, to help people get from A to B. But now only locals may use them. If your car is registered elsewhere, and you you [sic] stray – however unwittingly – from the permitted routes, you will be slapped with a fine.
“How come councils can take it upon themselves to close not only small residential streets to wicked alien rat-runners, but restrict access to roads that were clearly built as thoroughfares to connect with other thoroughfares, without going all around the houses?”
Then things get more bizarre (look out for references to sugar-beet below).
“Somehow, it reminds me of when the Soviet Union was collapsing and no area or business would sell to any other, because the currency was in flux and no one trusted that they would be paid,” she says, clinging to her metaphor for dear life.
Ah, red bikes! Get McCarthy on the phone!
“So everything was bartered: my steel girders, perhaps, for your crates of sugar-beet. And planes took off with insufficient fuel for their end destination, necessitating an unscheduled stopover for the crew to do a whip-round from passengers to pay for refuelling. The effect, for a while, was a balkanised economy with no common rules and no coordination.
“Is that how we want our cities to work, as a hotchpotch of fiefdoms, where sundry highwaymen jump out brandishing Penalty Charge Notices because you have driven down someone else’s street? Isn’t this the rationale behind postcode street gangs?
“By all means let’s have children playing hopscotch and cricket in designated residential streets after school, but most streets were built as public roads for people to drive on and get to somewhere else. Try to change that, and you end up with the nose-to-tail misery – and pollution – of London’s Wandsworth Bridge Road.”
So, if we go with Dejevsky’s logic, from Enfield in the north to Croydon in the south, a series of iron travel curtains are descending across London…
Where’s Churchill when you need him?
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9 comments
On the subject of other vehicles blocking cycle lanes, there is a point on the Croydon Tram between Waddon and West Croydon where it is designed in. There's a cycle path across the tracks, but the tram signals are positioned so that if a tram is stopped at the signals, it blocks the cycle path.
I wanted to see a picture of Sara Cox's Jeremy Vine on a penny farthing cake from last night's CGBBO SU2C, the only site showing it was the Mail's. Now I feel dirty...
Went to a Belgian restaurant in Bexhill on sea with my folks a while back, lots of mussels, incredible frites and pages and pages of very interesting beers. The few I got to try were incredible.
If you haven't been it's recommended! An epicentre of beer diversity - there's probably nothing they haven't tried in the beer from spices to fruit to ... knackered old hops and just leaving it to go fusty (lambics). (Food also excellent).
The cycling's not bad either but in that also it's a country of two halves. North of course tends toward The Netherlands in flatness and sometimes infra; the south's more rural and has more relief: there are the limestone gorges of the Meuse, the Ardennes etc. ... Will delight fans of the UK's "occasionally mixed experiences on country roads"!
.Heres another Belfast Bike Lane Special. Sorry for you needing to tilt your heads. Several attempts won't let me upload it rotated.
Michelle Froome has posted some good comments on x I see.
Here come the "I don't have a personality so I have made my preference of beverage into one" brigade, ready to tell people what they can and can't enjoy!
Hey, I'd love a Babycham!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MshadyDLjnk
Not sure whether or not to follow your shady ljnk