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Cyclists blast “unacceptable” ‘protected’ bike lane packed with parked cars and bins; Motorists slam cyclist for not anticipating driver… on shared use path; Anti-cycling seagulls; Cav’s (old) glasses; Rohan Dennis set to retire + more on the live blog

Finally, it’s Friday… And, with the weekend in sight, Ryan Mallon is here to drag you to the finish line with all the latest cycling news and views
Fri, Feb 10, 2023 09:35
31
Cyclists blast “unacceptable” ‘protected’ bike lane packed with parked cars and bins; Motorists slam cyclist for not anticipating driver… on shared use path; Anti-cycling seagulls; Cav’s (old) glasses; Rohan Dennis set to retire + more on the live blogCycle lane parking in Belfast (credit - Dominic Bryan, Twitter)
10 February 2023, 09:00
Cycle lane parking in Belfast (credit - Dominic Bryan, Twitter)
“This is the reality of cycling in Belfast”: Cyclists blast ‘protected’ bike lane packed with parked cars and bins

Now, for a host of different reasons, we don’t have many protected cycle lanes in Belfast, or Northern Ireland in general.

But when we do… Yeah, they’re mostly pretty rubbish.

Belfast’s Hardcastle Street, a key route for cyclists into the city centre, has featured on the live blog before, when one motorist’s curious take on parking left the entire, supposedly ‘protected’ lane blocked:

As far as ignorance and stupidity goes, it’s quite impressive, if I’m honest.

However, it seems that the rest of Belfast’s drivers saw that awful piece of bike lane blocking and said, ‘Hold my steering wheel’.

This morning, Queen’s University Belfast lecturer Dominic Bryan (on his way to the picket line), came across a Hardcastle Street cycle lane jam packed with parked cars and bins:

Two drivers even attempted to emulate our diagonally-parking friend from November (hey, if you’re going to block the bike lane, you may as well block the pavement too), while further down the lane, two motorists teamed up to provide some nifty obstacles for the city’s cyclists as they entered a right-hand corner.

While Dom described the rammed bike lane as part of “the reality of cycling in Belfast”, others criticised the inaction from Northern Ireland’s Department for Infrastructure and Belfast City Council when it comes to dealing with that reality.

> Government says Belfast bike lanes are “advisory” – after local cyclists claim they are “completely unusable” due to parked cars

“So our cycle lane has become a car and van park. This speaks volumes for the shift in mindset that is needed for the support of cycling in Belfast and Northern Ireland generally,” wrote Keith.

Sustrans’ Northern Ireland branch described the situation on Hardcastle Street as “disgraceful – every single day, no action”.

“This is one of Belfast's ONLY ‘separated’ cycle lanes,” noted the North Belfast Cycle Campaign. “With flood alleviation works closing the cycle route along the Lagan. This is the ONLY safe route across town. How is this acceptable?”

As you can tell by the exasperated tone of this morning’s tweets, Northern Ireland’s Department for Infrastructure has come under increasing pressure in recent months from cyclists and cycling organisations unhappy at it meagre attempts to protect vulnerable road users.

In September, Cycling UK criticised Sinn Féin MLA and Minister for Infrastructure, John O’Dowd, for appearing to renege on a pre-election pledge to introduce an Active Travel Act in Northern Ireland.

> Cycling UK slams Northern Ireland's "baffling" Tour de France bid when active travel strategy puts cyclists "at risk"

Then, in November, the news that Northern Ireland is preparing a joint bid to host the Tour de France later this decade was also treated by the charity as “baffling” when everyday safety policy in the region is still putting cyclists “at risk” and omits recent Highway Code changes.

Cycling UK’s spokesperson in Northern Ireland, Andrew McClean, stressed that whilst the charity would “love” to see the race return to the island of Ireland, “a real lasting legacy for cycling would be for Northern Ireland to stop ignoring the essential work required to help people travel cheaply, sustainably, and safely by bike”.

10 February 2023, 16:13
Protected cycle lane or the setting for Danny MacAskill’s latest video?

Come on Danny, film your next video in Belfast, the parked cars will work great for stunts…

10 February 2023, 09:38
“I could be on my home trainer and a car crashes through my wall, and it’ll still be my fault”: Motorists criticise cyclist for not anticipating driver’s actions… on shared use path

If our morning live blog excursion to Belfast has taught us anything, it’s that we shouldn’t be surprised when a motorist (or ten, or twenty) decides that they belong in a protected cycle lane.

However, I’d still be pretty shocked if a driver ended up alongside me on a coastal path reserved for pedestrians and cyclists, and a fair distance from the nearest road.

Well, that’s the shock that greeted active travel advocate Adam Bronkhorst, who yesterday yesterday (though judging by the short sleeves on display, it wasn’t filmed yesterday) shared this close call with a motorist who – for some reason – decided to turn down a shared use path in the coastal village of Lancing, West Sussex…

… And, in a rather telling indicator of social media’s blame index when it comes to cyclists, despite the path being completely off limits for drivers, the Twitterati still managed to at least partially blame the cyclist for “not anticipating” the clearly confused motorist’s actions:

In the midst of all this whataboutery, Aaron summed the whole sorry debate up quite well: 

10 February 2023, 15:33
Fundraising campaign set up so mum paralysed after cycling accident can dance at her wedding

A 29-year-old woman, who was paralysed after an accident while riding her bike, has established a fundraising campaign to buy a new custom-fitted wheelchair which will help her care for her daughter and realise her dream of dancing independently at her wedding.

Natalie Burgess, from Arbroath, was left unconscious after being hit on the head and knocked off her bike by an automatic barrier at a caravan park in November 2017. She was taken to hospital by ambulance after the fall, only to be discharged a few hours later.

However, two months later she woke up paralysed from the waist down, having suffered brain damage before developing Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), an incurable condition which affects how the brain receives and sends information to the rest of the body. Natalie’s FND symptoms include paralysis, memory issues, swallowing issues, seizures, and muscle weakness and deterioration.

“The caravan park had an automatic barrier and as the barrier was coming down, I went under it and it just kept coming down and hit me on the head and knocked me straight off my bike, Natalie told the Dundee Courier.

“I was only in hospital for a few hours after the accident itself. But just two months later I woke up one day and couldn’t move my legs.

“Because it’s FND, it was a delayed reaction from the bump on the head, so I just woke up one day and I couldn’t move my legs and then the following day I couldn’t move my left hand and it has been like that ever since.

A keen runner and cyclist, Natalie said the condition “turned her life upside down”.

She continued: “I had previously run half marathons and I did loads of cycling with my parents. It was the scariest thing ever, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t stand. I was just absolutely terrified, we weren’t prepared at all.”

Natalie Burgess (credit - Natalie Burgess)

Due to her condition and inability to walk, Natalie has found it difficult to move independently in the wheelchair she was given by the NHS.

However, she has not let FND stop her from starting a family – last year she gave birth to her first child Lucy-Rose, and this September she will marry her partner James.

To enable her to dance unaccompanied at her wedding, Natalie has set up a GoFundMe page to raise money to purchase a new lighter and better-adapted wheelchair.

“With the chair I’ve got, I wouldn’t be able to push it around myself so it wouldn’t just be me and James on the dancefloor, we would need someone else to help us, which isn’t very nice,” she says.

“I think as a wee girl you always want to get married. It’s not the day I dreamed of anyway because I’m in the chair but to be able to dance would be all my wishes come true.”

Natalie also says a new chair would help her care for her daughter and grant her more independence as her condition worsens.

She said: “My baby was probably the best thing to happen since my accident – it is hard, but I think I’ve proven that you can still have a family even after a diagnosis.”

You can donate to Natalie’s fundraiser at this link.

10 February 2023, 15:24
Awful news from Spain
10 February 2023, 14:51
Geraint, take notes: Mark Cavendish makes Astana debut… wearing Oakley glasses

So, after a whole off-season spent debating how Geraint Thomas could even contemplate racing a bike without his trademark Oakley Racing Jackets – it was a loooooong winter – Mark Cavendish, as ever, shows everyone how it’s done when you’re the greatest sprinter cycling has ever seen.

The 37-year-old made his Astana debut today at the Muscat Classic, ahead of tomorrow’s first stage of the Tour of Oman, and the big news is that he was wearing his not-at-all garish gold Oakley Katos.

So, what’s the big deal, I hear you cry? Well, Astana’s official eyewear sponsor is Scicon, who were reportedly not very happy that one of the sport’s biggest names was insisting, during protracted negotiations with the Kazakh squad, on continuing to wear the shades he helped develop.

According to CyclingNews, the stand-off between Oakley and Scicon was the key obstacle to Cav’s belated confirmation as an Astana rider last month, and appeared to have remained unresolved even when the Manx sprinter was photographed squinting, glasses-less, in the Costa Blanca sunshine during his unveiling in January.

2023 Mark Cavendish Wilier Filante Astana - 17.jpeg

‘That sun’s bloody bright! Get Oakley on the phone…’

But now that sponsorship debacle finally appears to have been settled, with Cavendish – and Oakley – getting their way.

Just don’t tell Geraint…

10 February 2023, 14:12
rohan dennis tt - via uci
Double world time trial champion Rohan Dennis announces that he will retire at end of 2023

Jumbo-Visma’s Rohan Dennis announced on social media this afternoon that 2023 will his last season as a professional cyclist.

The 32-year-old’s decision to step away from the sport will bring to an end an illustrious 11-year pro career, the highlights of which include back-to-back world time trial titles in 2018 and 2019, a bronze medal in the 2021 Olympic TT, the overall classification at the Tour Down Under, USA Pro Challenge, and Tour de la Provence, along with stage wins at every grand tour and a starring domestique role in Ineos teammate Tao Geoghegan Hart’s 2020 Giro d’Italia victory.

Confirming his intention to leave the peloton in an Instagram post, the Australian, who last month won a stage of the Tour Down Under, thanked his wife Melissa for “supporting me throughout my entire professional career, all while raising two of the best kids I could ever ask for”.

“Cycling, you have given me a lot and I’ll be forever grateful. It is still a long season ahead, however it will definitely be my last as a professional,” Dennis wrote.

10 February 2023, 13:16
“We flow with the go”: Are SD Worx trying to coin a new cycling catchphrase?

Well, at least it’s better than ‘marginal gains’…

10 February 2023, 12:47
Lorena Wiebes comes roaring back to take windswept second stage of UAE Tour

European champion Lorena Wiebes (SD Worx) exacted her revenge on her old DSM teammates by comfortably outsprinting the previous day’s winner – and her former lead-out rider – Charlotte Kool to win a windswept second stage of the inaugural UAE Tour Women.

Wiebes’ victory, taking advantage of a strong lead out from DSM’s former British champion Pfeiffer Georgi (who held on for third), was her first of the season and came after a day dominated by strong winds and almost incessant echelon action.

While most of the splits which had occurred in the frantic opening part of the stage had closed by around 20km to go, a further bout of wind-affected pressure in the final ten kilometres prompted yet more fracturing – and, most notably, say FDJ-Suez’s GC hope Marta Cavalli lose time – before the impressively powerful Wiebes roared to the stage win and the leader’s jersey in Al Mirfa.

10 February 2023, 12:35
New podcast episode alert!
10 February 2023, 12:31
In more serious bike-riding cycling politician news…
10 February 2023, 12:17
Seagull 1-0 Crow(e): Dublin seagull “shat all over” cycling Irish politician

From poor infrastructure in the north to anti-cycling birds in the south…

The aptly named Fianna Fáil TD Cathal Crowe – a regular user of the Dublin Bikes scheme when attending Dáil Éireann – put his photoshop skills to good use on the train back home to Clare yesterday, pithily conveying the visceral hated seagulls have for us cyclists…

“I’m now on the train heading home to Clare – apologies in advance to the groups I have lined up to meet this afternoon – I look a sorry state and probably smell of ‘Eau du Gul’,” he tweeted.

10 February 2023, 11:37
“This is a department with zero ambition for a liveable city,” says councillor

More damning reaction to Belfast’s ‘Is it really a cycle lane?’ cycle lane, from local Green Party councillor Anthony Flynn:

10 February 2023, 10:57
Team GB wins women’s team pursuit final at 2023 European track championships (Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)
Great Britain wins dramatic women’s team pursuit at Euro track champs, while Filippo Ganna does Filippo Ganna things

It was a dramatic evening of pursuiting at the European track championships in Grenchen, Switzerland yesterday, as Team GB’s Katie Archibald, Neah Evans, Josie Knight, and Anna Morris saw off world champions Italy – led by 2021 road world champ Elisa Balsamo – to take gold in the women’s team pursuit.

But their final-winning ride wasn’t without its bumps, however. Despite building up a solid lead of two seconds in the first 3,000m, Archibald’s sheer strength began to blow apart her own team.

Team GB wins women’s team pursuit final at 2023 European track championships (Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)

(Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)

As the two-time Olympic champion piled on the pressure at the front, gaps started to creep into yawning chasms in the final 500m, requiring some battling work by Morris and Knight – and some astute tactical reconfiguration while travelling at 60kph – to hold on for the win, as the Italians began to crumble themselves in the last few laps.

In the increasingly dialled-in world of team pursuiting, it was an enthralling – and refreshing – watch.

“This is the first event that counts towards Olympic qualification and to come out on top is huge,” Knight said after the race.

“We’ve come second a lot – I’ve been in a lot of major finals and come second, so in those last few laps I was saying please come on, I just want to win something! I’m just so excited to be able to wear a European champs’ jersey.”

Filippo Ganna celebrates winning gold for Italy in men’s team pursuit final at 2023 European track championships (Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)

(Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)

It was a similar story in the men’s team pursuit final, as Filippo Ganna’s superhuman power drove Italy to the win, while almost causing his team to buckle at the same time.

In a role reversal of the women’s final – this time, Italy took revenge on world champions Great Britain – Hour Record holder Ganna came out on top against the hour’s previous incumbent (and the Italian’s aero guru at Ineos) Dan Bigham, whose eye-catching split pink and black bike wasn’t enough to beat Ganna’s ‘grab it by the scruff of the neck approach’ to team pursuiting.

Team GB on the way to silver in men’s team pursuit final at 2023 European track championships (Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)

(Alex Whitehead/SWpix.com)

Hour record holders duking it out in eagerly-anticipated finals for major championships on the track? What is this, the mid-1990s?

10 February 2023, 10:46
10 February 2023, 10:19
Crosswind klaxon!

It’s all kicking off into echelons – ah, sweet, sweet echelons – on the second stage of the women’s UAE Tour…

Ryan Mallon

Ryan joined road.cc in December 2021 and since then has kept the site’s readers and listeners informed and enthralled (well at least occasionally) on news, the live blog, and the road.cc Podcast. After boarding a wrong bus at the world championships and ruining a good pair of jeans at the cyclocross, he now serves as road.cc’s senior news writer. Before his foray into cycling journalism, he wallowed in the equally pitiless world of academia, where he wrote a book about Victorian politics and droned on about cycling and bikes to classes of bored students (while taking every chance he could get to talk about cycling in print or on the radio). He can be found riding his bike very slowly around the narrow, scenic country lanes of Co. Down.

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31 comments

Avatar
Hirsute | 1 year ago
1 like

Crazy Cyclist riding in tram lines

https://twitter.com/theJeremyVine/status/1624323478001184768

"I can lip read and the gentleman is saying he’s on his way to his first anger management course class and is hoping to be down to only one tram windscreen wiper a week by mid March."

 

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Hirsute | 1 year ago
1 like

"Colleague at work just got her handlebars nicked. Supposedly a growing problem in London due to lack of components - known as being “cockpitted”. So annoying."

https://twitter.com/BBCTomEdwards/status/1624068576477839361

//pbs.twimg.com/media/FonZvNnXoAEjE0n?format=jpg&name=small)

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wtjs replied to Hirsute | 1 year ago
1 like

Colleague at work just got her handlebars nicked

Very useful to kept in touch wi't latest trends in villainy. No sign of anything like this up here in Lancashire, because there are so few bikes about and the police and the villains don't see them and don't really know what they are or how you get them to go. Motorists in this paradise for offenders just go in for standard multi-evasions on the grounds that the police don't care. BG67 YVC was leaving the building site at the local care home: MOT expired 17.1.23 and failed MOT test 27.1.23 for major brake defect and no MOT since; SORN-ed. I can guarantee there will be no response from Lancashire Constabulary, which is likely to be unchallenged in the Idlest and Most Ineffectual Force in the UK Championship

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Awavey replied to Hirsute | 1 year ago
1 like

is that because they actually want the handlebars ? I mean I suppose gear shifters are valuable as components in themselves and still in short supply, but it also "disables" the bike so they can return later with a better angle grinder.

and did they try to steal the seat post too, or was it meant to be like that.

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Hirsute replied to Awavey | 1 year ago
0 likes

I dunno, but on the twitter posts, there were a lot of comments about the seat !

Avatar
cmedred | 1 year ago
1 like

It doesn't take much to trip the car alarm on many motor vehicles these days. Just sayin'. Nothing wrong with a little harmless jostle to get the car to scream out a nice "thank you'' to the owner. 

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Backladder replied to cmedred | 1 year ago
1 like

Repeat until the battery is flat if you have the time.

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Hirsute | 1 year ago
8 likes

Just found this gem

https://twitter.com/CyclingLawLDN/status/1623773026041880577

"Absolute pleasure meeting Mark on the CS4 tonight. He was stuck at home for a lot of Covid-19 due to his MND condition but he told me the new cycleway is a game changer to get out the house and to work. We chatted about developments in treatment for MND and my dad who had it."

//pbs.twimg.com/media/FojM9ctWAAESmCH?format=jpg&name=medium)

 

Avatar
Awavey | 1 year ago
0 likes

I thought the whole deal with Cav & Oakley for years had been they actually pay his wages, or substantial part of them, hence why it had never been a question of how much a team could pay him, so its always ultimately about making a deal that suits all parties. fwiw he wore oakleys at Team Bahrain whilst everyone else had Rudys.

Avatar
eburtthebike | 1 year ago
3 likes

“This is a department with zero ambition for a liveable city,”

Green Party councillor Anthony Flynn is right, but the Department for Infrastructure is just carrying on the terrible work done by its predecessors.  When I lived there in the late 1980's, I tried to get whatever the government department was called then to improve things for cyclists, but was told that they wouldn't because if the encouraged more people to ride bikes, they'd have more cyclist injuries/fatalities.

Avatar
belugabob replied to eburtthebike | 1 year ago
1 like
eburtthebike wrote:

“This is a department with zero ambition for a liveable city,”

Green Party councillor Anthony Flynn is right, but the Department for Infrastructure is just carrying on the terrible work done by its predecessors.  When I lived there in the late 1980's, I tried to get whatever the government department was called then to improve things for cyclists, but was told that they wouldn't because if the encouraged more people to ride bikes, they'd have more cyclist injuries/fatalities.

Well, at least that proves they understand what happened with cars...

Avatar
nosferatu1001 | 1 year ago
6 likes

Simply proves the lanes are not protected eniugh 

Would be a real shame if some of those illegally obstructing vehicles were damaged in some way. Real shame. 
 

anyone got a lentil?

Avatar
OnYerBike | 1 year ago
8 likes

My thought on Adam's video:

Clearly the driver was in the wrong, as they should have not been there at all, let alone pulling out like that. But far from an unusual incident - as "Ralpha" says just representative of self-entitled drivers that are far too common.

But, I do think that at some point self preservation ought to kick in. I, for one, would not have been riding up on the inside of the car like that. 

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Hirsute replied to OnYerBike | 1 year ago
4 likes

I couldn't figure out going up the inside - they are such a useless driver, they could have squashed them against the fence.
Shouting and ringing the bell would have got them to stop in the end.

I couldn't work out how they got there though - where did they come from?

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cyclisto replied to OnYerBike | 1 year ago
2 likes

I agree, I would more verbal and gesturing but more defensive on positioning.

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BalladOfStruth replied to OnYerBike | 1 year ago
4 likes

I can only imagine he assessed the speed of the car, came to the conclusion he was not in any mortal peril, and decided to make a point.

I'd agree with you - I would probably still have some choice words with the driver (the fact they can stray into a pedestrainised zone and and be so unobservant when driving through it is actually insane), but I'd have held back when they pulled out and would have gone around to the driver's windows to do so.

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Owd Big 'Ead replied to BalladOfStruth | 1 year ago
9 likes

I'm not chasing clicks per view, but I'd have just eased the brakes on and let them get on with it. I'd far rather have people like that in front of me, than behind.

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BalladOfStruth replied to Owd Big 'Ead | 1 year ago
2 likes

In 999 out of 1,000 cases I agree. Most of our "highly trained and conscientious" drivers seem react to any criticism (after they've nearly killed you) with aggression/violence, so I don't even bother anymore. But if a driver is meandering around a pedestrianised area seemingly oblivious to what's in it and to the fact that they shouldn't be there, then that's the sort of situation you feel you have to say something.

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Awavey replied to BalladOfStruth | 1 year ago
3 likes

You dont have to be in mortal peril as such, that's still several ton of metal driven by someone who is not only entirely clueless (I'm guessing the parked car did similar) but who you arent even sure has seen you yet and then riding arguably in the one spot drivers dont check before riding into a shrinking gap from which theres no escape route.

Theres making a point to idiot drivers and theres I wouldnt ride into that in a month of sundays even if you paid me.

Definitely spot the danger and ease off the speed to minimise the idiocy impact on yourself imo.

If theres a need to still make a point head for the grass, where theres lots of room.

Avatar
BalladOfStruth replied to Awavey | 1 year ago
1 like

Awavey wrote:

You dont have to be in mortal peril as such, that's still several ton of metal driven by someone who is not only entirely clueless (I'm guessing the parked car did similar) but who you arent even sure has seen you yet and then riding arguably in the one spot drivers dont check before riding into a shrinking gap from which theres no escape route. Theres making a point to idiot drivers and theres I wouldnt ride into that in a month of sundays even if you paid me. Definitely spot the danger and ease off the speed to minimise the idiocy impact on yourself imo.

My thoughts exactly, I was just speculating as to why he did what he did. I would not have done the same.

Awavey wrote:

If theres a need to still make a point head for the grass, where theres lots of room.

Exactly what I suggested.

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Hirsute replied to Awavey | 1 year ago
1 like

It's like having a dog run next to you or coming across a small child. You know anything can happen just not what !

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ShutTheFrontDawes replied to Hirsute | 1 year ago
4 likes
hirsute wrote:

coming across a small child

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STATO replied to BalladOfStruth | 1 year ago
0 likes

I hadnt seen it with sound before, i thought it was a stupid move to try and ram a car off the road when the driver already wasnt looking at him, but to ring the bell as if thats actually going to do anything to get the attention of someone in the car, just moronic im sorry.  Making a choice to continue escalating a visibly dangerous situation, even if you didnt initiate it, stupid.

I totally get cyclists shouldnt be bullied out the way, you shouldnt have to stop, you shouldnt even be sharing that space with the car!  but you dont shove a bully who is waving a weapon at you?.

Avatar
IanMSpencer replied to OnYerBike | 1 year ago
2 likes

It's one of those where you really hope there are a set of 18" wide barriers at the far end (the ones we always bemoan), combined with some overgrown brambles and soft sand making it impossible to turn around, and the driver hasn't reversed successfully in 20 years.

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Hirsute replied to IanMSpencer | 1 year ago
2 likes

https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/fifteen-unbelievable-fai...

Take your pick of soft sand !

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Owd Big 'Ead | 1 year ago
7 likes

It's pretty much the same throughout the UK, outside of London, where at least some of the infrastructure is protected. Up in my neck of the woods neither the council or police will take any action on bike lane parking.
The car rules and everyone else should tow the line.
What is the point of councils bidding for funding if the reality is they don't actually give a shit?

Avatar
eburtthebike replied to Owd Big 'Ead | 1 year ago
3 likes

Owd Big 'Ead wrote:

The car rules and everyone else should tow the line.

[pedant on] toe the line [pedant off]

Avatar
belugabob replied to eburtthebike | 1 year ago
3 likes
eburtthebike wrote:

Owd Big 'Ead wrote:

The car rules and everyone else should tow the line.

[pedant on] toe the line [pedant off]

Just use a tow line on the badly parked cars...

Avatar
Owd Big 'Ead replied to eburtthebike | 1 year ago
4 likes
eburtthebike wrote:

Owd Big 'Ead wrote:

The car rules and everyone else should tow the line.

[pedant on] toe the line [pedant off]

Bloody Google and its auto spelling.
It was early and I'd spent a couple of hours knee deep in human excrement (don't ask).
Give me a break?

Avatar
eburtthebike replied to Owd Big 'Ead | 1 year ago
5 likes

Owd Big 'Ead wrote:

Bloody Google and its auto spelling. It was early and I'd spent a couple of hours knee deep in human excrement (don't ask). Give me a break?

I would ask, but I don't think I want to know.

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