Where's the pineapple? Mathieu van der Poel offends Italy AGAIN; 117mph driver "will need a bicycle"; Steep cobbled climbs: Yorkshire is the new Flanders; LEJOG with a difference; Giro rest day; Bollards!; Weekend round-up + more on the live blog

Five e-bikes with a total value of £30,000 were stolen in a break-in on St George Street in Nailsworth, Gloucestershire, at 00:30 BST on Sunday morning. Officers were called and found a window had been smashed to force entry.

Elsewhere over the weekend, a reader sent us a Facebook message ..."For a country so at odds with cycling, we sure do like stealing bikes a lot"...

Apologies for the sparse live blog action this afternoon. I went for an interview with a Giro d'Italia pro...only to be told there had been a misunderstanding and they'd joined the call at 3pm...Italian time...

Anyway, that's been rescheduled and back to the blog...

Roads policing unit have been Policing a local car meet in Swindon. Most drivers having a pleasant Saturday evening. A few spoil it for others with dangerous driving. One driver just dealt with for driving 117mph on the A419 after leaving the meet. Bicycle required for next meet

— Wilts Specialist Ops (@WiltsSpecOps) May 21, 2022

 I wonder if Merseyside Police would advise this one to cycle like you drive?

First 24 hours are in the bag! Lands End to John O’Groats on a 7 seat conference bike for CFC! The team is not far from Newtonmore now 🥳 👏 follow them on the live tracker https://t.co/Ml99gnLdnO@BBCScotlandNews @BBCScotland @STVNews @Daily_Record @heraldscotland @TheScotsman pic.twitter.com/ZPTkiwP8bb

— Cyclists Fighting Cancer "Helping kids with Cancer (@CyclistsvCancer) May 23, 2022

That's a long old time to be sat looking at your ride partner...

WOW😳😳 pic.twitter.com/fkCYiiSf3d

— HoodFamousTV (@HoodFamousTV_) May 21, 2022

7 days to go... Hopefully a week of dry weather will make the #cobbles a slightly lesser challenge for the running of the 2022 Ronde van Calderdale.
The epics struggles of Shibden Wall, Old Lane and Trooper Lane plus another 11 cobbled climbs all await https://t.co/tid5DLlAYk pic.twitter.com/DJVteE6qfX

— Jim McQuaid 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 😷 🇪🇺 #COVIDisAirborne (@jimmcquaid) May 15, 2022

Yesterday was the Ronde Van Calderdale, giving riders all the cobbled suffering of Flanders just without leaving the Kirklees and Calderdale districts of Yorkshire. Two routes: one at 58 miles with 13 cobbled climbs, one at 74 miles with 14 cobbled climbs. Just look at some of these brutes...

Old Lane being Old Lane - tough, steep and giving no quarter to anyone daft enough to try it. As @100Climbs hills go, it’s brutal #rondevancalderdale pic.twitter.com/CEdF3sfLbf

— Pat (@patrickmacinnes) May 22, 2022

Finishing with the ascent of Trooper Lane, of course...that's 700m at 19 per cent according to Veloviewer...

Trooper Lane - reckon that could be the toughest @100Climbs climb I’ve done for a long time. Made it up in one, just. Absolute brute. Loved it. #rondevancalderdale pic.twitter.com/zdI5SZUARe

— Pat (@patrickmacinnes) May 22, 2022

Please don't do this to yourself. Health is the most important thing.

— Cycling out of context (@OutOfCycling) May 23, 2022

Maybe pineapple is the secret after all?

Mathieu van der Poel… op één wiel lukt het hem ook 😎 #Vivelevelo @mathieuvdpoel pic.twitter.com/YJFkiIEcjN

— Vive le Vélo (@Vivelevelo_be) May 23, 2022

Please tell me Mathieu looked at the barista and ordered a grande no-whip white chocolate mocha with five pumps and an extra shot, made with soy.

— Daniel Lloyd (@daniellloyd1) May 23, 2022

I mean, Alpecin-Fenix probably should have expected the replies...

Sshhhh! 🤫🥲

— Alpecin-Fenix Cycling Team (@AlpecinFenix) May 23, 2022

pic.twitter.com/k3b2ZjdNPf

— Martijn Janssen (@tweettinus) May 22, 2022

If Mathieu van der Poel is trying to get chased out of Italy so he doesn't have to ride the mountains of the third week of the Giro d'Italia then he's going about it the right way...

In the first week we had spaghetti-gate after shocking incriminating footage was leaked online showing Van der Poel spraying copious amounts of tomato ketchup all over his plain pasta. In the words of Paris-Roubaix winner and Italian national champion Elisa Longo Borghini..."After that, I don’t know what there is. Probably only death"...

Well, turns out there's more than death because Van der Poel's back offending the entire nation of Italy...this time by merely suggesting pineapple was missing from his pizza...(for legal reasons we must be clear: no pineapple pizza was eaten)...

Dutch journalist Thijs Zonneveld captioned a picture of the Alpecin-Fenix star ready to tuck into a margherita pizza on the team bus after stage 15, 'If they forgot to put olives on your pizza again'. To which the devastating reply came..."Pineapple🍍"

Ananas 🍍

— Mathieu Van der Poel (@mathieuvdpoel) May 22, 2022

Presumably armed police now protect the team hotel while special services devise a plan to sneak him out of the country without the baying mob getting their hands on the winner of the opening stage...

Is Van der Poel cancelled? Will he make it through the rest day press conference? Will Italy let him start stage 16? 

Dangerous my friend!

— Alessandro De Marchi (@ADM_RossodiBuja) May 22, 2022

Mathieu, no! pic.twitter.com/VHsvZhHRBd

— Alpecin-Fenix Cycling Team (@AlpecinFenix) May 22, 2022

mathieu I love you, but you’re making it really difficult to keep defending you

— abby (in pink)🎗️ (@wildewisteria) May 22, 2022