“Really gotta hand it to them”: Bizarro “hands-on” saddle fetches £30 (plus £77 shipping) on eBay, but cyclist says “this looks much more comfortable than the dildo I’ve been riding on”; Van der Poel says “I’m lucky with my genes” + more on the live blog
SUMMARY
“Why would I sleep badly?” CyclingMikey issues guidelines to drivers on how to avoid “sleepless nights dealing with police, CPS and courts”, and says he’s reported 103 drivers so far this year — “a little fewer than usual”
Popular camera cyclist, Mike van Erp, better known as CyclingMikey, has revealed that he’s reported a total of 103 drivers in this year. “A little fewer than usual,” he wrote, adding that he’s been unusually busy with work and hobbies.
He also offered some simple, easy-to-follow (you’d think) advice on how to avoid “sleepless nights” as a result of dealings with the police, Crown Prosecution Service and courts.
Responding to a social media user who asked him “how do you sleep”, the London-based cyclist wrote: “Why would I sleep badly? I’m not doing anything wrong, unlike the perps I catch. Stay off your phone, don’t drive badly, don’t run lights and don’t close pass cyclists, and you’ll be fine and you won’t have to have sleepless nights over dealing with the police, CPS and courts.”
Brother-in-law of former Scottish first minister Humza Yousaf fined £450 for crashing into cyclist at red light while driving uninsured car
Bad acronyms in cycling: Q36.5 launches documentary titled ‘TOM’, as Pidcock claims, “Joining this team is probably the best decision I’ve ever made”
Three guesses for anyone who can work out what TOM stands for…
Yep, that’s the name Q36.5 Pro Cycling have gone for their new documentary series comprising of five episodes, chronicling their new star-signing Pidcock’s journey with the team, with the first episode available to watch on YouTube now.
Anyone made their guesses yet? There, I’ll spare you. It’s ‘Team on Mission’.
A press release from the team reads: “This documentary takes viewers behind the scenes—before, during, and after the races. Episode one showcases Tom’s first victory with the team at the AlUla Tour and his bold, performance at Strade Bianche.”
“I have never made a wrong choice in my career, and this is definitely not one. Joining this team is probably the best decision I’ve ever made,” Tom says himself. “A rising tide lifts all boats.”
Another “nasty” tirade from Telegraph, this time against Cycle to Work as newspaper claims “rich, Lycra-clad cyclists tearing through red lights” are riding “hugely expensive” bikes paid for by taxpayer
“Summer’s coming”
Lovely to see so many cyclists going back from work this evening.
Summer’s coming!
Where would you rather be? Stuck in a car, or experiencing the freedom of cycling? pic.twitter.com/WzdyAc2Ef6
— Chapona Bike (@ChaponaBike123) March 20, 2025
Now that’s put an itch in my back to get up and take my bike out for a spin…
In case you happened to forget Tadej Pogačar’s incredible numbers on the Poggio last year…
…that, mind you, only Mathieu van der Poel could follow initially.
“The pain is not unbearable”: Philipsen ready to “give it a shot”, as Alpecin-Deceuninck eyeing monument glory with “multiple options” in Van der Poel, Groves and Philipsen
After last year’s Milan-Sanremo winner, Jasper Philipsen suffered a heavy crash at Nokere Koerse two days ago, the Belgian’s title defence was shrouded in mystery and doubt. However, it was announced yesterday that the sprinter, patched up and all, would be ready for the first monument of the year.
“It was a hard crash that I didn’t see coming, and I needed some time to determine whether I would be race-ready,” Philipsen said. “My hand was stitched the same evening at the Ghent UZ hospital, and all abrasions were treated with extra care. It’s far from comfortable, but luckily, the pain is not unbearable. I was already able to ride quite well on Thursday morning, without too much stiffness. So, I want to give it a shot.”
“Milan-Sanremo is never an easy race to win. Last year, everything fell into place for me, and I am very aware of that. Maybe the scenario will be completely different this year. But with Mathieu [van der Poel] and now Kaden [Groves] in the team, we have multiple options. I have confidence that we can achieve something as a team, and that is ultimately the most important thing.”
He added: “Even if I never win another Monument, this will always be a race that remains special to me.”
Meanwhile, Van der Poel has already emphasised how important tomorrow’s race is for him, and the Dutchman is confident about his form and chances, but still acknowledged the volatile nature of the race, thanks to the all-important ascent and then descent of Poggio.
“It’s for sure an unpredictable race,” he said. “It’s no coincidence that everyone says it’s one of the Monuments that you can win without necessarily being the strongest rider. It all depends on what happens on the Poggio.
“The toughest moment is when the group is still together after the descent of the Poggio. You know attacks are coming. That might be the most dangerous moment of the race.
“Sometimes, it’s even better not to have the legs to attack yourself but just to follow when someone else makes a move. You don’t necessarily have to be the first over the Poggio to win Milan-Sanremo.
“I’m at an age where I have already achieved almost all of my goals, even more then that. That gives me a lot of peace of mind. Everything that comes now is a bonus, and that makes racing more enjoyable. But I still want to try and win the biggest races out there, another monument, so I’m still very motivated.”
The 2023 Milan-Sanremo winner also shared what goes on in his head when tackling a climb as important and difficult as Poggio. “What do I focus on during the Poggio? Actually, nothing,” he said. “Everything happens so fast. Before you know it, you’re at the top, and then it’s full gas to the finish.”
He concluded: “I’m aware that I need to be at 110 per cent to beat Pogačar. That’s always good motivation.”
“Totally blindsided”: Cuts and job losses expected at Komoot after route planning app bought by Italian tech firm infamous for mass layoffs
“I’m lucky with my genes”: Van der Poel says he doesn’t pay “extreme attention” to his weight and “can still eat what I want” ahead of Milan-Sanremo
It’s a fact certainly not lost on many fans that Mathieu van der Poel is one of the best cyclists of this generation, and with the Milan-Sanremo heralding the first monument of the 2025 road racing season, we are about to see him take on the perhaps the best cyclist not only of this era, but of all time — Tadej Pogačar.
But it’s all quite well-known that both are two very different cyclists, in terms of nature and skill. The Dutchman, a puncheur, a master of one-day races (and cyclocross); while the Slovenian, an all-rounder with his niche cut out in both GC battles and classics.
Of course, another big difference is their body type and their weight. While Van der Poel weighs around 75 kilogrammes, Pogačar has a lighter build, around 10 kilos trimmer than the Alpecin-Deceuninck rider.
So with Milan-Sanremo a key ambition for both the riders, does the difference in weight cause a concern to Van der Poel for tomorrow, and for the upcoming Ronde van Vlaanderen?
Apparently, no, the former world champion said in an interview to HLN (you know, the Flemish website recently under fire for accusations of being misogynistic). Why? It’s because of his genes, according to Van der Poel…
“I’ve actually been at the same weight for a few months now,” he said. “I try to pay a little attention to it, but I’m lucky with my genes that I don’t have to pay extreme attention to it. I can still eat what I want sometimes. My weight is not something I obsess about.”
“Fortunately, for a rider of my type, it is not extremely necessary to push the limits in terms of weight. Only for the World Championships in Zurich last September did I really make an effort to lose weight, but for the rest of the year, I’ve actually weighed the same. I have been at my ideal weight since the winter.”
To be fair, he is the grandson of the late great Raymond Poulidor, whose 1961 heroics Van der Poel emulated two years ago by stepping on the top step of the podium in Milan-Sanremo, seeing off a trademark Pogačar attack on the Poggio. And his father, Adri was no slouch either, winning the Tour of Flanders, Liege, Amstel, two Tour stages, and the Dutch national road championship… Decent genes, if I may.
Last year as well, Pogačar’s attack on the final climb was read well by the peloton, with the three-time Tour de France winner unable to shake off his pursuers and dragging a bunch on to the final bend by the famous Zampillo fountain, with Van der Poel eventually leading out his teammate Jasper Philipsen to victory.
Is Van der Poel worried about the Tour of Flanders then, which could favour a lighter rider like Pogačar and deny him a chance to become the sole rider with the most number of wins at the race?
“In the Tour of Flanders you need a lot of strength and energy. I don’t want to try to lose another kilogram, with the risk of losing some strength,” he said.
Van der Poel added: “Milan-Sanremo is an important appointment in my race calendar. This race is one of my main goals for this season.”
With the very first edition of the women’s race also set to take place after its evolution from the Primavera Rosa, with Kopecky and Vollering also set to go toe-to-toe tomorrow, I think we’ll have two mighty races to watch tomorrow…
Cycle routes “painted on our pavements” blamed as campaigner calls for crackdown on “30mph” illegal e-bikes “before someone is killed”
“Really gotta hand it to them”: Bizarro “hands-on” bike seat fetches £30 (plus £77 shipping) on eBay, but one cyclist says “this looks much more comfortable than the dildo I’ve been riding on”
I’m clueless, speechless. We finally have a worthy competitor to Chad Tavernia, you know, the “No Saddle Guy”, because if you ask me, I’d classify this as egregious as riding without a saddle.
The only matter is the identity of the cyclist who bought this “hands-on” saddle remains unknown…
But back to matters at hand, ahem, this truly whacky saddle, for those who’d like to have their posterior parts in safe hands, was flagged in our office chat (why, not your average office chat?) and has really taken all of us at the road.cc towers by surprise.
This latest eBay listing, titled “Rare 2005 Hands On Bicycle Bike Seat Hand Shaped 10 Fingers All Black”, was on sale for £30 from a seller named ‘vintage_overload’ in Orlando, Florida, with additional international shipping charges worth a whopping $100.
Those bummed out that this one has been sold, worry not, because it’d appear that it’s a rather popular thing on eBay, with two similar products available for purchase (for science, right?) for £54 and £48, plus shipping — the latter even coming with “peach-coloured” hands — if that’s what you’re into.
Your live blog host, devoured by curiosity had to look this piece of work up, and I’ve come across a Reddit post with hilarious comments. Now, buckle up for some truly memorable live blog quotes…
“Knowing my luck, I’d hit a bump and jam one of the fingers into my a**hole.”
“Nothing I want more than a bike seat sexually harassing my a**.”
“We need more cupped seats on the market anyways.”
“This looks much more comfortable than the dildo I’ve been riding on for the last three years.”
It’s not like we haven’t come across weirder (read: worse) saddles before. Remember the O-Seat? No, no one? Well, that was the handiwork of live sex cam website CamSoda, featuring a ‘discreet pocket’ ideal for slipping in a Lovesense vibrating sex toy to offer an extra pleasurable ride.
Safe to say, we know what’s not making road.cc recommends Saddles of the Year list. Or maybe it is?
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Latest Comments
@chrisonabike To be fair, that Elon Musk seems a fair minded bloke. I can't imagine him allowing anything that blights the lives of the general population, in order to make huge profits.
@mdavidford that's called "reducing the problem to the form of a previously solved one"...
So if they don't fall over it will just cheerfully drive into them?
@Mr Blackbird this is the argument not to let driverless vehicles in, because that leads to a slippery slope where what you say happens. Or there's a self-catalysing process where firms say "look our vehicles are so much safer / more efficient they should be exempt from rules around speed etc" which means more use, which means that the streets become even less appealing to vulnerable users, which means "better safety" numbers ... until we just ban people from the streets (but it wouldn't matter because nobody goes out without a vehicle anyway). Sounds like dystopian paranoia - until you see the incredible sums of money being dumped into this and read the philosophies of the men who are doing it. Actually ... that approach would just be a continuation of the UK's existing trajectory to "improved road safety" (by making it less convenient for vulnerable road users and more for drivers) in most places!
@Paul J He probably had a crap season because he was missing his tag team bum chum Iserbyt, one or the other were always holding the other riders up so that one or the other could win. Not decent sporting riders in my opinion.
Vanthourenhart is a smacked ass cheat. He must be missing his cheating tag team partner Iserbyt, AKA F*cking dwarf as so eloquently put by Ryan Kamp. He is trying to get Kuypers to be his new tag team cheating partner. What Mason did was fine, Vanthourenthart saw him coming and deliberately moved into his path, leaning in to shoulder barge him. What was the fine for? The barge or the outburst? Or both? If you watch Vanthourenhart, if anything doesn't go his way he always spits the dummy out and starts shaking his head. It's a shame he has to be such a knob, it spoils his talent somewhat.
@IanEdward Frustration is probably a factor. He had a crap season last year, by comparison to the season before that. He's possibly anxious about doing better this season, particularly as he's starting to get on in age.
@the little onion well @open_open_roads maybe has a point about online policing - *that* ought to be the easiest to deal with: the offender themselves is often documenting the offence! Or would be if there wasn't the volume of data / if only the tech firms cared. And if it wasn't easy to say "must have been a deep fake mate" / "cat got my phone". Aside from following the priories they're given from on high it wouldn't surprise me if the police were slightly more car-biased than most: like some other trades aren't vehicles their offices? That's why the few who do make the effort (like Mark Hodson) stand out.
The bad bonfire night violence in Niddrie was 2023, so unless the video has already been doing the rounds for a year, the "journalist" needs to get his facts straight.
this is bonkers. Two things stand out 1. this kind of thing must be one of the very lowest-effort crimes to prosecute, for the police. The cyclist does all the hard work of collecting the evidence, putting in the details of time/place, providing a statement via the submission portal etc. Other than speeding recorded on fixed cameras, is there anything easier to prove? 2. How many instances have there been where a driver goes to court, disputes that a close pass was in fact too close, and wins? Realistically, how many prosecutions have failed because of the standards of evidence cited here by the police? It all sounds very suspect. Institutionally anti-cyclist.
13 thoughts on ““Really gotta hand it to them”: Bizarro “hands-on” saddle fetches £30 (plus £77 shipping) on eBay, but cyclist says “this looks much more comfortable than the dildo I’ve been riding on”; Van der Poel says “I’m lucky with my genes” + more on the live blog”
“Van der Poel lucky with
“Van der Poel lucky with genes” has got to be understatement of the year so far?
Bear in mind it probably
Bear in mind it probably still means he has a diet that would horrify us norms, just like most elite sports people. Chicken or Fish. Chicken or Fish.
It’s the pineapple on pizza
It’s the pineapple on pizza and ketchup on pasta that is the problem with MVDP
I think its somewhat
I think its somewhat contextual. In the pro peleton all of them are genetic freaks up to a point. Hes just a freak amoungst freaks.
Anyone who doesn’t like
Anyone who doesn’t like CyclingMikey (and others who report dangerous drivers) is admitting that they are condoning bad driving, injuries and deaths on the road, plus all the other economic costs.
As well as accepting the increase in motor insurance premiums that they themselves and everyone else has to pay for all the costs of the claims resulting from …. bad driving.
No one would complain about CCTV/doorbell camera footage being provided to the police as evidence of crime, so why is it cyclists that are hated for it?
And not forgetting that the majority of dangerous driving reports (with video evidence) is submitted by other drivers not cyclists.
Stay off your phone, don’t
Stay off your phone, don’t drive badly, don’t run lights and don’t close pass cyclists, and you’ll be fine and you won’t have to have sleepless nights over dealing with the police, CPS and courts- or, alternatively, just move to Lancashire where you can do all that with impunity and the positive support of the police, and you don’t have to bother with MOTs and all that bureaucracy either
https://upride.cc/incident/ld71uom_amazonprime_handheldmobilephone/
https://upride.cc/incident/kn21axh_lancspolice_closepass/
https://upride.cc/incident/hk64pzt_audiq5_dwlcross/
https://upride.cc/incident/pe18ojj_insignia_redlightpass/
https://upride.cc/incident/dp14fym_insignia_closepassdwlcross/
Its because people are idiots
Its because people are idiots. The talk about crap like “grassing”. If it wasn’t so horrible it would be nice for these idiots to suffer some sort of loss at the hands of dangerous drivers. Wonder how quickly they would change their tune if they were on the wrong side of dangerous driving for themselves or a family member.
Our policing and legal
Our policing and legal systems are based on witnesses, apart from when it comes to driving apparently.
Good news on the politics of
Good news on the politics of the sport; Lappartient had failed in his bid for IOC presidency. Maybe now he’ll either focus on the job he’s paid for, or step down from UCI in shame
Did you mean to post this on
Did you mean to post this on the ‘funnies’ thread?
If nothing else, I’m an
If nothing else, I’m an eternal optimist;
“That rain will hold off” “It’s only a short ride, I won’t need snacks” “I’ve got time to take the scenic route back” “Lappartient might realise the best way to look good doing a job is to do a good job”
It’s all the same
“I think we’ll have two
“I think we’ll have two mighty races to watch tomorrow…”
No we won’t
On Instagram, user @wheel
On Instagram, user @wheel_based (who has very interesting posts covering cycling patents) mentioned that hands saddle and said he would try to buy it (even if it was just because it actually has a patent number on the underside of it, peaking his interest). Hope he was indeed the buyer, because then we’ll see some nice post(s) on it for sure.
https://www.instagram.com/p/DHZEMvpxT8P/