Stelvio bans rim brakes, Ribble unicycle, E-Chamois cream, road tax, Cancellara’s comeback, oval cassettes — cycling does April Fool’s Day; MGIF WTF; I’m dreaming of a white Tour of Flanders; Buy 8 chains get 1 free; (Ned) Flanders + more on the live blog

Cyclegranny is a Twitter account well worth a follow for the chronicles of one person’s experience using a bike to get around Sheffield.

“I called this video WTF!” they said…and it’s hard to argue with that assessment…this one’s WTF meets MGIF…

I called this video WTF! I don’t know what she was planning but I can say there wasn’t much thought there. Attempting an overtake approaching a mini roundabout and nearly causing a head on collision with another cyclist. In a hurry to get to the end of a traffic queue. pic.twitter.com/UEletk5VqT

— Cyclegranny 🚴‍♀️ (@anneramsey740) March 31, 2022

Approaching a mini roundabout which, presumably, the driver didn’t see. I say presumably because the following manoeuvre would be beyond belief otherwise… With that said I’m not sure how they’d miss it, but maybe I’ll stick to saying what happened rather than trying to explain the unexplainable.

The WTF MGIF backs out when they see a second cyclist coming around the roundabout, you can almost see the ‘oh s*** that’s a roundabout’ penny drop…

So, what would have been the reward for their speedy pass? Sitting in traffic a couple of seconds sooner, of course…

A tale as old as time…(well, at least as old as motor vehicles)…

The teams in Belgium have woken up to snow on the ground in Flanders…

April doet wat hij wil. @RondeVlaanderen pic.twitter.com/1TvGxdySVy

— Ard Bierens (@ard_bierens) April 1, 2022

There’s plenty of times (a day) I’m jealous of the pros. Waking up for a recon on cobbles in those conditions is not one of them. Perhaps a forgiving, and slightly nervous sports director, will postpone training until the afternoon?

Two days to #RVV22 🌨 pic.twitter.com/5KH9XvD1fb

— Trek-Segafredo (@TrekSegafredo) April 1, 2022

 Will the snow stick around for the races on Sunday? It doesn’t look likely. The forecast is predicting light snow until lunch time, and despite lows of -3 overnight, the cobbles should stay dry until Sunday.

 One team who won’t be on the startline is Israel – Premier Tech, who have withdrawn due to medical reasons. The squad’s Flanders line-up suffered a second covid positive yesterday, having already been depleted by illness and injury, and with other riders in Spain for GP Miguel Indurain, the team of Sep Vanmarcke has decided to skip De Ronde.

Manager Kjell Carlström explained the decision is in the best interests of the team and peloton: “This decision has not been taken lightly but we feel this is our only option at this stage. It is no secret we have had covid and other illness and also crash-induced injuries wiping out the majority of our riders at one stage or another in recent weeks.

“Right now, we have very few healthy riders who could take to the start line, but they are now close contacts, and it is out of respect for the race and the rest of the peloton, that we are making this decision. It is our duty of care to the other teams to not be willingly sending riders who have been exposed to covid into a race.”

Call for e-bike and e-scooter battery safety campaign after London Fire Brigade reports spike in call outs#ebikes #escootershttps://t.co/4wzMmHgqML pic.twitter.com/9PdMVqayKh

— ebiketips (@ebiketips) April 1, 2022

> Call for e-bike and e-scooter battery safety campaign after London Fire Brigade reports spike in call outs 

In February it was announced that E-bikes had been banned from the Houses of Parliament due to fire risk. Labour peer Lord Berkeley revealed he had been told he could no longer arrive by e-bike, and said it was because “they might set the building on fire”.

However, Lord Berkeley added that he believed the advice, possibly from the Department for Transport after Transport for London banned the bikes on all public transport, was “misinterpreted”.

Koppenberg #RVV pic.twitter.com/9AjwxOTcgD

— Aitor Agirrezabal (@aagirrezabal) April 1, 2022

The slippy stones of the Koppenberg are hard enough in the rain. In the snow and ice? Forget about it…

The snow continues to fall in Flanders, but is not sticking to the roads, so all should be well for Sunday’s races (especially considering the weather forecast we shared on the blog earlier).

We wondered if teams would cancel their recon rides, and Bora-Hansgrohe appear to be the first to break rank…

Bora-Hansgrohe has postponed its Flanders recon because of the snow in Flanders. It’s still coming down, though it’s not sticking to the roads. Won’t be around on Sunday, we hope.

— Sadhbh O’Shea (@SadhbhOS) April 1, 2022

Unless that’s their entry for the most underwhelming April Fool’s award… 

A bit of a milestone for me – made a full chain out of all the spare links from all the chains I’ve got through since I built the Flare. 8th chain just gone on after 6,559 miles, so just over 900 miles per chain – year-round riding & out in all conditions #mtb #mtblife #cycling pic.twitter.com/9BqXgro2fm

— Stephen Morrison (@mozzasnaps) March 30, 2022

Stephen Morrison…

Hi-Diddly-Ho, cycling fans! It’s time for another 10/10 team announcement…

Here’s who Ned will be cheering for on Sunday🦁 #RVV22 pic.twitter.com/TTe4r1lAyb

— Trek-Segafredo (@TrekSegafredo) April 1, 2022

What a morning…

Finally we can all stop duping each other into believing silly things. Unfortunately that means admitting (although I’m sure you already realised) the road.cc L-shaped Crank Commemorative Plate to mark the retirement of our famous feature was an April Fool’s too…

So…does that mean the classic feature will be making a return to your screens at some point? Don’t ask me, and please kindly direct your abusive comments elsewhere if/when it inevitably does…

Now it’s time for our obligatory round-up from the rest of the cycling industry, and boy is there a lot to get through. Let’s hope all of these are actually April Fool’s ruses…

First up, the latest model to Ribble’s endurance range: the Endurance Mono SL, the brand’s first-ever unicycle, apparently to be ridden by Ribble Weldtite Pro Cycling rider Cameron Jeffers at this summer’s Unicycle World Championship. “One wheel, double the fun!” A strong start.

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by Ribble Cycles (@ribble_cycles)

 Next up, a personal favourite — Band of Climbers waded into the angry comment-infested waters of the rim brake vs disc brake rivalry, stoking the flames with an ingenious Fool’s post…rim brakes are banned from descending the Stelvio…Chris Froome won’t be happy…

“Some surprising news to bring you this morning from Italy, and the Passo dello Stelvio. Band of Climbers has learned that bikes with rim brakes are to be completely banned from riding on the Stelvio. The new rule, which comes in place as of today, means only those riders with disc brake bikes are allowed to climb, and crucially descend Italy’s most famous mountain road.

“We’ve been told about ‘Rim Guards’ who will be stationed on the foot of each side of the climb, who will stop any Rider with Rim Brakes. We’ve also been told that It’s possible to hire a disc brake bike from the ‘Rim Guards’ for €15 per hour.” Superb.

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Band of Climbers (@bandofclimbers)

Evo Cycles, a bike shop from New Zealand, got involved too, claiming: “The NZ Transport Agency (NZTA), have reached out to Evo as a key figure in the cycling industry and asked us to help with gathering information for their research.

“NZTA are seeking feedback on a proposed ‘Bicycle Registration and, Road User Charges’ (BUC’s). Essentially all cyclists would need to register their bikes and pay road charges — similar to vehicle owners paying charges and fuel taxes for the upkeep of roads. The introduction of BUC’s would use that same principle to take care of NZ’s cycleways.

“Mountain bike trails are also set to benefit from the charges, with Waka Kotahi planning to allocate some of the funding to their upkeep. The new bike registrations and BUC’s are proposed to come into effect in early 2023. Registration is proposed to cost $80 per year and BUC’s are proposed at $10 per 100km.”

Those on the Ribble Endurance Mono SL will only have to pay half, as per the unicycle bracket, while kids have to pay double because…”they’re all troublemakers”.

Elsewhere, we had:

Wiggle getting rid of Haribo…

We regret that we have decided to withdraw the Haribo from Wiggle orders. Occasionally it is missed from orders in error which causes understandable disappointment so we’ve decided to discontinue this freebie altogether. pic.twitter.com/cANADYELXf

— Wiggle (@Wiggle_Sport) April 1, 2022

Spartacus’ return…

Three-time Paris-Roubaix winner Fabian Cancellera is planning a comeback, with this year’s Rutland Melton International CiCLE Classic (24 Apr) set to be his first race

1/2 pic.twitter.com/Fx6ngm6PPk

— The British Continental (@BritishConti) April 1, 2022

And the Scottish Headwind Championships which, considering the Dutch version, is actually almost believable…

We are proud to announce a brand new #SCNatChamps for 2022, the Scottish National Headwind Championships.

This brand new event will see riders ride into a furious block headwind in a time trial-style event, with the rider with the fastest time becoming the Nat. Champ. pic.twitter.com/CeAZOO7fdJ

— Scottish Cycling (@ScottishCycling) April 1, 2022

I’ve barely even scratched the surface of April Fool’s Day there, we’ll be back with part two in a bit… 

There was simply too many April Fool’s ruses to pack into part one…so we’re back with a sequel…

First up, the CAMO-HANGAR [©️], possibly the joke most worthy of being followed up on…

Don’t want to disrupt our car dominated landscape with cycle storage?

Try the all-new CAMO-HANGAR©️ from Possible!

✅Blends in with all other SUVs
✅Won’t trigger anti-cycling sentiment
✅Only pay for parking 1 car a year instead of 5 bikes pic.twitter.com/TYQKHdQ3vT

— Possible (@_wearepossible) April 1, 2022

Or how about the Pearson Tearaways, a cleat alternative that we’re not sure will stick (ba dum tss). As per the shiny press release which would put many genuine product launches to shame…”As the world’s oldest cycling company, Pearson has been championing innovation since 1860. In an exciting new collaboration with cycling shoe specialists Lake, Pearson is proud to announce the Pearson + Lake Tearaway Cycling Shoe. Designed for life on and off and on the bike, they’re the perfect choice for anyone tired of click-clacking around in cleats.”

The product?

“Grafted to a luxury Lake sneaker-trainer, the Tearaways feature proprietary RUG® technology. The acronym stands for ‘Road, Urban, Gravel’ because this really is the only cycling shoe you’ll ever need. The secret lies in the sole (a bit like life), which features a Vibram base for exceptional stiffness and durability.

“This has been overlaid with our ground-breaking slip-free Velcro, to offer class-leading pedal adherence. The shoe is supplied with corresponding, complimentary pedals, and which, again, boast technology developed exclusively by Pearson. (And Lake, obviously.)” This might be the best one yet…

Sliding away from cycling for a second, Little Tikes are taking on soaring fuel prices…

And finally, CloseTheGap got the ‘scoop’ on cycling governing bodies making bells mandatory in all road and mountain bike races from 2023, although with midday coming and going, and the ruse rubbished, we’ll leave it to you to decide who’s the only bell in the peloton…

The Ineos boys sheltered from the snow in Belgium this morning, choosing to take their training ride indoors…

We woke up to snow this morning in Belgium ❄️

No worries, we fired up @GoZwift and the guys jumped on their @tacx trainers. Those Virtual Training Camp sessions coming in handy 🙌 pic.twitter.com/tKeTiR9Cll

— INEOS Grenadiers (@INEOSGrenadiers) April 1, 2022

Tadej Pogačar did not…

 The two-time Tour champ, and soon-to-be Ronde debutant, took to the snowy Belgian countryside to reccy some of the route, including the Oude Kwaremont. Hard as nails but just imagine the fuss if Pog had slipped and broken a bone though…

Yorkshireman Connor Swift was out enjoying the warm weather too…just like back at home, eh? ‘This would be a mild spring afternoon back in Dales’…

As you’ll see from the title here, I forgot to leave the horrendously bad puns on holiday…

Anyway, Dan Lloyd flexed his sunrise views for the Twitter world to enjoy this morning.

The response he was (probably) not looking for was Matt Stephens’ very nearly NSFW holiday snap from a Belgian getaway. As far as rom-com premises go: two retired bike racers finding each other during a cobble-packed classics weekend in Belgium might be a bit niche…

Remember this Belgian sunrise? pic.twitter.com/gi16u6KJzW

— Matt Stephens (@RealStephens) April 1, 2022

Dan got the last laugh (along with the rest of us)…

I don’t. I remember it was a tiring trip though. pic.twitter.com/Y83L9l12x6

— Daniel Lloyd (@daniellloyd1) April 1, 2022

What goes on Tour of Flanders stays on Tour of Flanders… 

> 2022 Specialized Allez Sprint vs Tarmac SL7: which is best?

Who knew this would turn into a trilogy? It’s time for part three of cycling’s April Fool’s antics… This is our Return of the Chainring, The Pogfather 3, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s FTP Test, X-Men: The Last (Track)Stand, The Matrix (90) Revolutions (Per Minute). The story ends here (for another year)…

But, unlike The Godfather, we might just have saved the best for last…

First to the stage: Muc-Off’s invisible jersey…

It’s those pesky cyclists not wearing hi-vis again…

Next up, a classic from Velotech who have reinvented the cassette. Remember when Chris Froome started running osymetric chainrings and the cycling world melted? (Even if Bobby Julich was, as far as we know, the first to do so back in 2004) Well, here’s the follow-up…

Veloskin got the memo too… announcing an E-Chamois cream.

“With e-bike sales spiking, we have jumped on the trend to provide a specific Chamois Cream to keep your e-riding supercharged! Formulated to keep both rider and bike in harmony and synchronised, the new Veloskin E-Chamois Cream contains groundbreaking nano technology blended with our traditional ingredients, which can extend and improve the performance of your e-bike’s battery!”

Bike subscription service Swapfiets was pleased to announce the “world’s-first penny-farthing subscription service”…available for just £10 per month, a lock for added security, and the guarantee of a free replacement if yours is stolen…

And finally, before my brain shuts down, Canadian Cycling Magazine went for the ‘story’ about the UCI announcing that all cyclists must install a dropper post, following Matej Mohorič’s historic win at Milan-San Remo. 

> road.cc Podcast: Matej Mohorič says he could have descended faster at Milan-San Remo if motorbikes weren’t in the way

It really is amazing how much big news drops on the morning of April 1…