Have you ever done paintball?
If so, you’ll know that even through the combat fatigues you’re issued with at the start of the day hurts, and leaves a bruise.
So pity the poor riders at the World Naked Bike Ride in St Louis, Missouri, this weekend who had to put up with this absolute bloody wanker firing paintballs at them …
Astana’s Jakob Fuglsang – third favourite to win the Tour de France at the start of the race in Brussels more than a fortnight ago – has been talking about the crash which forced him to abandon today, when he was lying 9th overall.
I’m really disappointed about leaving the Tour de France this way, but there was too much pain to continue.
Somebody crashed in front of me and there was no way to avoid it, so I crashed over my handlebar. My hand directly swelled up and I could barely stand on my feet, I directly knew my Tour would finish here.
I was very motivated for the final week and I was ready to battle for a higher position in the GC. That this has to be the way of missing out on this battle, is just very disappointing.
Now all the focus will be on recovering, both physically as mentally, because the Tour was a big goal after my wins in Liége and the Dauphiné.
— ITV Cycling (@itvcycling) July 23, 2019
It looks like it's one crash too many for the Dane, who has had a Tour to forget. The helmet is off and it's all but confirmed that he's now abandoned the race - more in our full stage report later.
Credit the Have I Got News For You Facebook page for the caption.
On the subject of penny farthings, we reported on the man attempting to break the 132-year-old penny farthing LEJOG record - Richard Thoday is now well on track to break it, currently about 30 miles south of Inverness according to the live tracker.
In the run up to Cycle to Work Day on 8th August Cyclescheme are running seven weeks of challenges with prizes to be won - week 4 is one for female cyclists, and with the latest research from Cycling UK suggesting female riders make up less than a third of all
UK cyclists, Cyclescheme are putting the spotlight on female riders. All you have to do is log a ride on the Cyclescheme Love to Ride community between the 22nd–28th July and you'll be entered into a prize draw to win a Trek FX Sport 4, worth £950 (pictured below). More info on Cyclescheme's website here.
The peloton crossed the Pont du Gard 1'30" behind the breakaway, led by the sprinters' teams.
Le peloton a traversé le Pont du Gard 1'30" après l'échappée, mené par les équipes de sprinters.#TDF2019 pic.twitter.com/x6qdX0bSSy
— Tour de France™ (@LeTour) July 23, 2019
Today's stage has the potential to be a second rest day for the GC riders. There's a group of five up the road with a 2'05" gap while the sprinter's teams control the peloton.
Commence your snooze or get on with your job. We'll give you a poke if any crosswinds happen.
Besides the Roman sites in Nimes itself where the stage starts and finishes, there's also the incredible Pont du Gard aqueduct ...
— Tour de France™ (@LeTour) July 23, 2019
The new Prime Minister ladies and gentlemen.
Mark Cavendish, left out of Team Dimension Data's line-up for the Tour de France (how's that working out, guys?) was back on his native Isle of Man at the weekend to ride its Gran Fondo - although his day out was marred by a double-puncture due to someone strewing drawing pins on the road.
Was loving @iomcyclefest yesterday. Savage route, smashing through with @calcrutchlow & blown away with the brilliant organisation.. (and the wind )
Until my ride (and others) was cut short because some miserable twat threw drawing pins on the road. There’s always one! pic.twitter.com/jVd9VpoFDC
— Mark Cavendish (@MarkCavendish) July 22, 2019
Home riders Nathan Draper and Sally Walker took the wins in the men's and women's events, respectively, while the third rider home in the men's event was the MotoGP ace Cal Crutchlow, who has a home on the island as well as Tuscany, where Cavendish also has his European base.
Watts Occurring? Episode three now live Loving the artwork @tootalldrisc
— Geraint Thomas (@GeraintThomas86) July 23, 2019
Not sure the bodily proportions are quite right, but it's different I suppose... you can listen to episode three of the podcast here.
Our colleagues over at the Safer Transport Team Kings Cross seized four electric scooters today for No Insurance. Remember these are not road legal and cannot be used on UK Roads. #VisionZeroLDN Use the QR code for DfT Guidance. pic.twitter.com/39Ecxf7OUo
— Cycle Safety Team (@MetCycleCops) July 22, 2019
The Met Cycle Safety Team's announcement on Twitter that they've been seizing illegal e-scooters has been met with criticism, with many cyclists expressing frustration that they're being targeted when the city suffers from high levels of congestion due to motor traffic.
Four more cars back on the road tomorrow
— John (@se3john) July 22, 2019
I understand the law, but I can't help but favourably compare the people using these quiet, slow, non polluting, space saving scooters with the screen- distracted drivers in the huge, polluting, over-powered, congestion causing, speeding cars that make our roads so dangerous.
— DCArt (@DavidCoxArt) July 22, 2019
E-scooters are currently illegal in the UK on both roads and pavements, and can only be ridden on private land with permission from the land owner. Recently their safety has been questioned in the national media after YouTube star Lily Hartridge became the first person in the UK to die in an incident involving an e-scooter.
Are the police right to be getting them off the road/cycle paths or should this greener mode of transport be encouraged?
We've been having a snoop at the latest odds, and Pinot is now the red hot favourite at 9/5 to win the Tour and therefore become the first Frenchman to do so since Bernard Hinault in 1985.
Despite his stronger performance on stage 15 Geraint Thomas is quite far behind at 7/2, current leader Julian Alaphilippe is at 5/1 and Egan Bernal is 11/2 - do you reckon they've called it right?
After cobbling together a few hundred quid during his student days off the back of a hard winter selling hats (long story), Jack bought his first road bike at the age of 20 and has been hooked ever since. He was Staff Writer at 220 Triathlon magazine for two years before joining road.cc in 2017, and reports on all things tech as well as editing the road.cc live blog. He is also the news editor of our electric-powered sister site eBikeTips. Jack's preferred events are time trials, sportives, triathlons and pogo sticking (the latter being another long story), and on Sunday afternoons he can often be found on an M5 service station indulging in his favourite post-race meal of 20 chicken nuggets, a sausage roll, caramel shortbread and a large strawberry milkshake.