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Several cyclists were harmed in the making of this article

Animals have a complex relationship with cyclists. Sometimes they skitter alongside, like furry little sidecars. At other times they do a passable impersonation of a Ford Focus in the hands of a texting motorist and plough right into the side of you.

The wheel-folding Labrador crash above occurred during the 2007 Tour de France. Let’s move onto some higher speed collisions next.

It pretty much goes without saying that several of the videos below feature “language”. We won't tell you which ones. We wouldn't want to spoil the guessing game.

 

Antelope v mountain biker

Eyes right.

 

 

Deer v mountain biker

Eyes left.

 

Deer are easily startled. But they’ll soon be back…

 

Herd of deer v bikejorer

… and in greater numbers.

 

Bikejoring is when you’re towed along on your bike by dogs incidentally - so not all of the animal kingdom is against us.

 

Kangaroo v cyclist

A mere glancing blow in the Humbug Scrub, north of Adelaide.

Kangaroos are easily startled. But they’ll soon be… ah, you know where this is going.

 

Kangaroos v cyclists

Kangaroo apocalypse!

 

 

The ostrich pursuit

A valiant and protracted effort to get into the day’s break.

 

 

Magpie pursuit

 

This is a common phenomenon in Australia during breeding season (magpie breeding season, not cyclist breeding season). Here’s another example.

 

Parrot and cyclists travelling in harmony

Parrots make far better avian ride companions, as these Brazilian cyclists prove.

 

Michele Scarponi would doubtless agree.

 

Cyclist v alligator

When is a log not a log? When it’s an alligator.

 

The second alligator video on this page is also worth a watch, if only for the timeless observation: "You were just all up in my cornflakes, buddy."

 

Skunks v cyclist

Finally, let’s end on a positive note. Skunks love cyclists. Absolutely love us. Who knew?

 

Alex has written for more cricket publications than the rest of the road.cc team combined. Despite the apparent evidence of this picture, he doesn't especially like cake.