Lance Armstrong’s old boss tells UCI president to “stick to selfies and dubious deals” after call for smaller Tour de France teams to stop Pogačar; “Canyon to Brompton in one step”: Bike delivery nightmare; Awful Italian bike lanes + more on the live blog

The Tour de France is nearly here and that means only one thing… It’s time for Johan Bruyneel and David Lappartient to reignite their long-running feud!

(And there was you thinking Thursday’s team presentation marked the start of the Grand Départ festivities. Not when the Hog still has access to social media and a burning desire to condemn cycling’s governing body on the eve of the sport’s biggest race.)

> “What baffles me is that they make these decisions without considering the industry”: Lance Armstrong’s old boss Johan Bruyneel hits out at UCI’s tech rule changes – and claims it’s all part of a French conspiracy

So, what has the UCI president done to piss off everyone’s favourite banned sports director this time? Well, in a recent interview with Warner Bros. Discovery, Lappartient suggested that the best way to prevent cycling’s superteams dominating the Tour de France (cough, UAE, cough) was to further reduce the number of riders in each squad.

In 2018, during the height of the Sky era, team sizes were reduced from nine to eight at the grand tours (and eight to seven in every other race), and Lappartient believes that a further cut to seven or even six riders per team would prevent the kind of suspense-killing strangleholds we’ve seen in recent years.

“Is it really wise to limit the number of teams in the Tour de France to 22 or 23, each with eight riders? That way, the strongest teams manage to stifle the action and completely dominate a 3,500-kilometre race,” the UCI president said, without pointing the finger at any team in particular.

“With 25 teams of six riders each, the race becomes less predictable and decidedly more spectacular.”

> Bruyneel accuses UCI of “hypocrisy” after governing body hits out at Tour de France for granting access to controversial Belgian — despite lifetime doping ban

That suggestion hasn’t gone down too well with a certain Mr Bruyneel, who knows a thing or two about stifling a Tour de France with a super-strong, turbo-charged, dominant team.

“There has never been a president of cycling more disconnected from the sport than David Lappartient,” the former US Postal boss, the man behind the wheel of Lance Armstrong’s seven Tour wins, posted on X.

“His latest idea? Three-week Grand Tours with six-rider teams. It’s another reminder that he has no real understanding of how professional cycling actually works.

“Instead of trying to reinvent a sport he clearly doesn’t understand, perhaps Mr. Teflon Lappartient should stick to what he’s best known for: taking selfies and doing dubious deals with heads of state.”

Ouch. Don’t peak too soon Johan, we’ve still got four weeks to go until Paris. There’ll be plenty of opportunities to launch a few more long-range attacks at the UCI before the Tour’s over.

You might need to call Dr Ferrari for a social media performance-enhancing top-up at this rate though…

If you’re currently waiting on a new bike to be delivered, it’s probably best if you look away now:

UPS tracking stated “damage reported”
by
u/Holiday-Strawberry25 in
CanyonBikes

Yikes. That’s nightmare fuel, that is.

Unsurprisingly, US-based cyclist and Reddit user Holiday-Strawberry25 wasn’t too happy with the state of their new Canyon when it finally got delivered a week late.

“The delivery driver said other drivers had refused to deliver because the state of the damage,” they posted.

“He said they had to tape up the box in order to move it. I refused to sign (obviously). I can only imagine how bad the damage is inside of the box.

“I’m sure I am not the only one who’s received their bike in similar condition, just hoping the exchange process is quick and I won’t have to pay import duties on the replacement.”

When someone asked the obvious question (‘how’s the bike?’), they replied: “No idea. I didn’t sign for it. I didn’t have the patience to unpack, document, pack it up, and arrange a return pickup.”

Fair enough. That’s what we call in the business, Schrödinger’s Bike. And it’s fair to say UPS’s Ace Ventura-inspired bike delivery method has baffled quite a few cyclists in the comments.

“Honestly almost comical at that point. Looks like they played soccer with the damn thing,” wrote dolpsc. Ahem, it’s football.

“I don’t think I could’ve damaged the box even further even if I wanted to,” Adostein added.

Another Canyon customer shared their own delivery horror story:

Not too sure the bike enjoyed the ride, if I’m honest.

“Seems normal. $15k bike, $.25 treatment,” wrote zombie9393. “In this case the bike was fine, but it was more luck than anything there wasn’t damage.”

Meanwhile, others speculated about the type of delivery method favoured by the couriers, with suggestions ranging from “ocean” to “Amazon drone delivery from 100 feet”.

Or maybe, as some noted, we’re all actually just looking at the accidental birth of Canyon’s first ever folding bike.

“Canyon to Brampton in one easy step,” ZennerBlue wrote. Or not so easy, if it was supposed to be your bike.

British cycling infrastructure: ‘Yeah, we’re pretty useless, most of us don’t have much in the way of protection, and a lot of our designs aren’t great and a bit half-arsed, if we’re honest.’

Italian cycling infrastructure: ‘Hold my limoncello.’

Yep, this slalom-style beauty – if we can call it that – comes courtesy of Vaiano, a Tuscan town just north of Florence. And where every single cyclist is a champion cyclocrosser, by the looks of things.

“These things only make sense on paths you DON’T want cyclists to use. Just totally indefensible,” wrote Chris on Facebook, seemingly baffled that the UK’s love of both barriers and making things as difficult as possible for people on bikes has emigrated to the continent.

> “Drivers don’t have to push their cars”: Park barriers designed to stop “speeding” cyclists are forcing families onto busy road with no bike lane, cycling campaigners say

“Any testing at all would have prevented this,” added Alex, while a number of people in the comments noted that the tightly-packed nature of the barriers (three sets of which I can easily make out in that photo) made the cycle lane essentially unusable for cargo bike or wheelchair users.

“Why don’t they do that with the car lane???” asked Oliver. Now there’s a question.

I’m heading to that part of Italy for the autumn classics this year, I’ll have to test out that cycle lane when I’m there. Might need to work on my bike handling skills before then…