For many years I have been a bike commuter – so when I heard that the road.cc team had come up with an ultimate commuting checklist for cycling to work, and that didn’t involve me, I figured I had to stick my oar in.
Because what you really need is not a carefully curated list from a number of experienced cycling tech writers, but the musings of a bloke approaching middle age offering his opinion on everything, right? So here we go, the things that you actually need as a cycle commuter…
Wash kit
First up, the big elephant in the room is that the road.cc ultimate commuting list does not currently include anything about washing once you have got to the office, which for me is a big one.
We have just had the hottest summer ever. If I stepped outside for more than five minutes, I felt the need to use an electrolyte drink to replace all the salts I had lost. The idea of spending the day sitting in an office with somebody who has just ridden for 30 minutes in sub-Saharan heat and not made any attempt to wash afterwards doesn’t bear thinking about. Well, it does, because I have been on both sides of that situation and let me tell you, nobody appreciates it.
In a perfect world: get a travel towel, get some shower gel, and have a shower in your office… but short of that, take some baby wipes or some sort of dry shower solution in to the office, you filthy animal!
A camera, and social media accounts
When you commute to work on the bike, every moment on the bike is a chance to go viral. Cycled into the back of a car? Capture it. Caught a taxi driver on the phone? Get that angle spot on. Get into an argument with every single person you pass? Whack it all on TikTok ASAP.
If you don’t have a camera and a YouTube/TikTok/Instagram account, then why would you cycle to work? Do you think it’s just a coincidence that the number of people cycling to work has risen at the same time that social media has exploded? Everybody is trying to hit the heights of celebrity that CyclingMikey has achieved, and we should all be aiming to appear in a scathing Daily Mail article at some point to show that we’ve made it.
Don’t try and tell me that people are only doing it because it’s cheaper, healthier, and more fun than basically any other option. It’s that elusive fame that everybody is after.
A belt
Over the course of a year, cycling 30 minutes each way for five days a week, the average person is likely to lose at least a stone. Who needs Mounjaro when you could just buy a bike and lose a load of weight by riding to work? Get yourself a belt, because those waist measurements are going to be decreasing rapidly.
At the same time the cost to commute within London can be £7,000 or more, so that belt will come in useful as your wallet will be so packed with cash when you can get around for basically nothing. Although it will mean that you’ll become obsessed with cycling, and almost certainly end up spending more and more on bikes and kit in that ongoing quest for the perfect bike.
Also, not many people use cash anymore, and your debit cards don’t increase in weight if you have more money in your account. Actually, I seldom carry a wallet because I can just pay for everything with my phone.
But you get the idea. Money, belts etc…
A new house/shed/warehouse
One cool thing about cycling is that it is addictive. Commuting is very much a gateway activity.
You’ll first find yourself talking about it more to your mates and thinking about it when you’re not on the bike. Then you’ll decide to start taking it a little more seriously, maybe upgrading your bike a little. Perhaps you’ll have a mechanical issue so you buy some tools. Afterwards you decide that you’d like a better bike for weekend rides, that you don’t want to use for commuting. A gravel bike then feels like a no-brainer because potholes.
Before you know it, you’re in an N+1 hole and you’ve got a cupboard full of rear derailleurs just in case. You have three gravel bikes catering to different gravel conditions, several road bikes, and a wheel collection that’s worth more than most cars.
At this point, do not pull back. The issue is not that you have a problem; the issue is that you need more cupboards and more space to fill with bike stuff. Trust me on this, plan early and get your finances in order before you push that first pedal.
A helmet
Everybody should always wear a helmet when commuting.
Comments section, discuss!
Spidey senses
I’ll be honest here, while commuting by bike in the UK has improved massively in a number of places over the last few years, the quality of driving has not. In fact, given the behaviour of a few thousand Brits this summer outside hotels or up lamp posts, I think it’s possible that a significant proportion of the population must have spent winter sniffing particularly strong glue. This probably isn’t going to create a nation of careful and considerate drivers, so you’ll need to watch out for these people carefully moving forward.
4 thoughts on “The REAL ultimate commuting checklist for cyclists”
A desire to explore coupled
A desire to explore coupled with optimism? Or the reverse. I’m sure I am not alone in often thinking ‘maybe *this* local authority/sustrans bike route sign will lead somewhere fairly directly and without introducing a dozen extra junctions’.
“I wonder if this path
“I wonder if this narrow overgrown path leading behind a disused abbatoir is ACTUALLY NCN1? Oh – a burning mattress – that’s handy for illumination!”
That’s a modern-day beacon
That’s a modern-day beacon system – shows you you’re on the right route.
Life imitates art. Yesterday
Life imitates art. Yesterday I used a signed route that I usually regard as too much faff, but is swings and roundabouts with current roadworks. There was a burnt mattress (previous night’s beacon) and a fresh one delivered.