If Carlsberg did group rides: Mathieu van der Poel and Remco Evenepoel become training buddies; Coffees on Cav; These pesky cyclists think they're in the Tour de France; Patrick Lefevere criticises "life-threatening" race finishes + more on the live blog

"If you’re house is burgled police won’t bother turning up because they’re too busy watching videos of drivers overtaking cyclists."

— Stupid shit people say on Facebook about cycling (@AntiCyclingFB) August 10, 2022

The ever-brilliant 'Stupid shit people on Facebook say about cycling' page is back with another classic. 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Matt Page (@mattpage24)

Matt Page made it to the finish in the early hours of this morning, to take some well-earned rest...

"The hardest cycling event I have ever done," he said. "Mentally and physically. The highs and lows were so extreme. From the huge surge of adrenaline re-taking the lead on a 20 per cent climb in the Pennines, to the endless flat roads around the Fens and getting ready to bin it near Carlisle."

> What do you need to ride London Edinburgh London? Matt Page's bike and equipment for 1,500km self-supported classic

Here he was passing through 80km to go last night...

The first rider on London-Edinburgh-London 2022 has just passed through Duxford. Looking forward to seeing all the others over the next three days@LEL1500km @Lel2022stives pic.twitter.com/EMQfOdmiIC

— Rob_J_Hale (@RobJHale1) August 9, 2022

Elsewhere on the route shout-out to the rider who stood guard at a broken cattlegrid until an official arrived...

A huge thank you to rider M Agar (Z6) who marshalled a broken & dangerous cattlegrid on the remote crossing from Innerleithen to Eskdalemuir in the dark & early hours until a #LEL2022 official could arrive with borrowed traffic cones. #HeroesOfLEL

— London Edinburgh London (@LEL1500km) August 10, 2022

Interesting location, but we'll roll with it...

Slightly surprised that this fella just got married in ... France. https://t.co/rtOVcD6CJf

— cyclingchallenge (@cyclingalps) August 10, 2022

Don't all send your 'I don't care, why are you covering him' comments at once, it would be good to spread them out through the afternoon.

Anyway, I wonder who'll get the exclusive 'tell all' gossip interview first? Oprah?

As road.cc Simon has pointed out in the comments there's another cycling prank out there worth a mention on the live blog. Dating back to 2009, I was today years old when I got to see this for the first time...

Glorious.

Proper local newspaper story this one, all credit to Warwickshire World...

Cav and his Isle of Man teammates gave a new family-run cafe a boost when all 14 of them popped in for coffees on Friday.

"It seemed as if there were about a million bicycles parked up here and when they came in they asked if we were OK to serve so many of them," owner Charlotte Price said.

"Before long we realised Mark Cavendish was among them. They were more than happy to have some photos taken with us and were very friendly. One of them said he loved his hot chocolate and they all seemed to enjoy the break. We've only been open for eight months so for them to come and visit us as a independent family-run business was so nice.

"Every little helps and it really meant a lot to us."

We've seen what Remco's up to, but what about his boss? Well, Patrick Lefevere's Nieuwsblad columns are always good for a soundbite (can something in print have a soundbite?)... although today's is a little less controversial than some from the past...

Criticising race organisers for what he called "life-threatening" dangerous sprint finishes, the outspoken Belgian said his team "currently have three riders in hospital, that says enough".

"That fall in Burgos, in particular, should never have happened. Such a speed bump five hundred meters from the finish, on a road on a descent, that is life-threatening. Those things are made to make cars run slower, but those riders fly over it in full final at seventy kilometers per hour," he wrote.

You'll have no complaints from us today, Patrick, no complaints at all...

Picture the scene: you're lazily winding through the hills of Calpe, minding your own business, when that all-too-familiar buzz of riders approaching behind snaps you from your summer haze. But you aren't passed by any old plodders... no, the sharp calves, golden tan, pristine pro kits and monstrous watts which just dropped you, in fact, belong to not one but two of the peloton's most absurdly talented bike riders — Remco Evenepoel and Mathieu van der Poel.

If you're like me you'd probably sprint onto the wheel, try to stay there, blow up spectacularly (less than 30 seconds later), and then try to convince yourself they were 'going full gas', not effortlessly spinning their legs...

Perhaps this is the new plan to beat Wout van Aert: assemble an Avengers cycling cast of anyone and everyone capable of challenging him...

MvdP, just back to training (or at least just back to sharing rides on Strava), seemed to be taking things a tad easier than Vuelta-ready Remco, whose activity laps include three big 20-minute efforts, simulating those sustained climbs of Grand Tour racing.

So how's Remco looking? Oh, you know, fairly normal... just smashing three minutes off a KOM up a 6km climb at 10 per cent... nothing too crazy...just four minutes faster than FDJ pair David Gaudu and Thibaut Pinot did...

Remco averaged 30km/h+ average speed during the pair's 3,150m of climbing through the hills of southern Spain, leaving Mathieu to title his ride 'Sauna day'...

Idea for a programme...'Blood, sweat and tyres'...two riders of the WorldTour chat in the sauna, sharing anecdotes, jokes and training advice, all while in the mild discomfort of the sauna...

I'll stop pretending to be Alan Partridge now...