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68 comments
so this is skys idea of big signings for 2011 by making the bike smaller!
Welcome to Findsbury park Dogma site, now turn those bloody headlights off Brad.
Sky say forget spending all your money on a virtual reality turbo trainer! Just head up to your local hill shove the bike on the top of a tesco trolley and spin away.
"I'll give you 'aggregation of marginal gains'"
"That's what she said..."
marginal gains approach towards genetic engineering and mutation payoff as team sky unveil their new 15ft ultra directeurs sportif...
"maybe we can get some of that new "Tainted Meat" saddle sore cream from DZ Nuts for the chaps."
"..."
"It was a joke you twit..."
"We're pleased to unveil our latest project, the Great Bike of Berkshire. It will catch motorists eyes and remind them to look out for cyclists, as well as acting as a monument for British cycling's past and future glories"
"Dave, that's just Brads bike in the distance"
"Come n have a go if you think you're hard enough".
That's why the year didn't go as planned, your looking in one direction and I'm looking in the other!!
PCSO Brailsford with a reformed bike thief at the Cycle Task Force awareness day.
So, Blue Sky thinking in 2010 didn't really work. Anyone know a company called Joined Up?
- We, de Management, don't approve of doping.
- Yeah, we don't like any Chinese restaurant.
'Looks like our sky rocket was a dud Sean'.
Seconds later the lads were left to rue another ill advised publicity stunt, finding the dogma up on bricks.
The happy couple announce that Hampstead Heath will be the location for what is sure to be the biggest wedding of 2011.
Sean: Wasn't Brad supposed to be here for this?
Dave: He's being fitted for his new custom cravat, just stick a bike on the horizon in his place, nobody will notice.
Photographer: No, you can't both have your hands in your pockets. One of you must fold your arms. And someone get a bigger box for the short bald bloke to stand on.
Matalan's new exclusively black and white tank-top and tracksuit range being modelled by Inspector Frost and MacGyver.
No time for the old in-out, love. I've just come to read the meter.
Sean: 'I hear road.cc are going to use the photo for a humorous caption competition'.
Dave: 'Well, if they can find any humour in Sky's performance this year they're welcome to try.'
Brailsford thinking: I know f**k all about road racing, but I think I got away with it.
Yates thinking: He knows f**k all about road racing. Blue striped toothpaste, my arse.
I'm Sean's dad, can he have his ball back?
"So, next year we have a new strategy for the tour - for every minute Bradley loses, we break one of his fingers.."
Ladies and Gents, Team Sky's new management team; Albert Steptoe and Son.
Brailsford and Yates are oblivious as Beldar Conehead sneaks up and steals the bike.
As seen on Gumtree:
"Road bike, nearly new, selling as just couldn't get the hang of it. Was never as fast as the man in the shop said it would be"
"Yeah - it's not nicked, either"
Crickey Dave, were you on the cabbage vindaloo again last night.
Whatever you are saying, you are wrong and I am right
Whatever you are saying, you are wrong and I am right
Brailsford: "We're a big team and we have big aspirations."
Yates: "Yeah, big team, big plans, little bikes!"
"we have ways of making you train....."
Hey Sean - know anything about track cycling?
"Team managers?, nah - we're the new bouncers for the new outdoor Rollapaluza"
Lets face it, as a caption competition photo, there ain't much to go on really.
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