Brilliant mick-take by Canadian mountain bike crew

Ready to laugh at yourself this afternoon? The chaps at Canadian mountain bike site NSMB have put together this video that guides you in detail though becoming a road cyclist, or, as they put it, a ‘road biker’.

We’ve all been this newbie road cyclist, planning the next bike we’re going to get by the famous N+1 formula, then deciding we’ve got to have a winter bike so none of the shiny summer bikes we barely manage to find time to ride get dirty.

Learn to ride clipped in
Learn to ride clipped in

You’ll need to learn to fall gracefully while clipped in, and learn the difference between IPA and EPO. Not sure? Ask someone wearing a yellow Livestrong wristband, the video recommends.

Here’s the whole thing:

Our official grumpy Northerner, John has been riding bikes for over 30 years since discovering as an uncoordinated teen that a sport could be fun if it didn't require you to catch a ball or get in the way of a hulking prop forward.

Road touring was followed by mountain biking and a career racing in the mud that was as brief as it was unsuccessful.

Somewhere along the line came the discovery that he could string a few words together, followed by the even more remarkable discovery that people were mug enough to pay for this rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work. He's pretty certain he's worked for even more bike publications than Mat Brett.

The inevitable 30-something MAMIL transition saw him shift to skinny tyres and these days he lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.