Remco Evenepoel is quite fast.
Blowing the entire Giro d'Italia field out of the water, none of Filippo Ganna, Stefan Küng nor Primož Roglič could get close, the Belgian taking the stage and opening maglia rosa of the race by a quite incredible 22 seconds, putting an improbable 43 seconds into his chief GC rival from Jumbo-Visma.
And while Remco has learnt from his Volta ao Algarve mishap last year when power numbers were quickly hidden from his Strava upload, but not before the armchair watt sleuths had screenshots of the figures they needed — you will not see any power data on his upload of yesterday's stage, regardless, the speed and comparisons to other riders are still jaw-droppingly impressive.
> Remco Evenepoel destroys Mount Teide Strava KOM
The headlines? The 23-year-old superstar completed the, admittedly tailwind assisted, 19.6km course in 21:18 at an official average speed of 55.211km/h, but when we take a look into the Strava activity things get even more impressive.
Taking out the final climb to the finish line, the flat portion of the course is more or less the same distance as an event familiar to many here in the UK — the much-loved 10-mile time trial.
While it is somewhat fiddly selecting the exact moment Remco rolled down the start ramp (the elapsed time and cadence data suggest his Garmin Edge 830 was recording for around 30 seconds before the effort began), the Strava activity shows Evenepoel powered through the opening 10 miles in 16:31 (or an elapsed time of 17:09 that probably includes some start ramp waiting).
For context, Marcin Białobłocki's 10-mile TT record still stands at 16:35, while Alex Doswett's former record, which Białobłocki bested in 2016, was 17:20. In short, best hope a young rider from Soudal-QuickStep does not turn up at a dual carriageway near you this summer.
Even more mind-boggling is the fact Remco's finish line was not at 16.1km (10 miles) like these other times. Nope, Evenepoel still had three kilometres left, including a 1.14km climb at an average gradient of 5.1 per cent.
At this point you probably will not be too surprised to hear he smashed that too, setting the second fastest time ever recorded on Strava, only beaten by teammate Louis Vervaeke's time as he went "all in for KOM". So, yes, of the riders to upload their TT to the ride-sharing platform, Remco's was the second fastest on the climb.
> The only man who can beat Pogačar? Remco returns to Strava with Tenerife KOM spree ahead of Liège–Bastogne–Liège
That is, of course, not reflected by the KOM standings — decided by the fastest time between the 16.8km mark and the finish at 19.6km. For that longer 2.8km section Evenepoel was officially only sixth fastest, behind teammate Vervaeke, Marius Mayrhofer, João Almeida, Tao Geoghegan Hart and Brandon McNulty. We'll forgive him considering his effort to that point, plus the fact at least two of those riders were specifically targeting the KOM section for a shot at the climbing jersey.
Remco's effort, the fourth fastest TT in Giro history, only slower than Ganna's 2020 and 2021 opening day wins as well as Rik Verburgghe's prologue success from 2001, was by far the longest of the four at 19.6km versus 7.6km in 2001, 15.1km in 2020 and 8.6km in 2021. A speed reflected in the main honour of the win, no, not the maglia rosa... the Strava KOMs...
Afterwards we were all left to try to comprehend what we had just witnessed, GCN+ pundit Dan Lloyd saying Remco has "obliterated" the stage.
"He obliterated it," he said. "I think you can say he has come into the Giro hot. The average speed up [to] that last climb to the finish, almost 59 km/h, that is the sort of speed you would see in a team time trial and to put that much time into his rivals on day one of the race, everyone else will be going back to the drawing board.
"If he can carry that form through three weeks then no one else has got a chance. That is the question."
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Meanwhile...in La Vuelta Femenina, a controversial stage win, and stage on Saturday, & a 9 second gap on the Sunday.
I don't know how a drawing board would help? Unless it's got a motor on it or a list of dodgy doctors with access to a blood bank.
Incredibly sticky bidon?