Birmingham’s bollard bonanza as “forest” of traffic-calming poles installed outside school… to protect cyclists and pedestrians from bad parking; Kid’s expletive-laden reaction to not getting a bike for Christmas + more on the live blog

48 thoughts on “Birmingham’s bollard bonanza as “forest” of traffic-calming poles installed outside school… to protect cyclists and pedestrians from bad parking; Kid’s expletive-laden reaction to not getting a bike for Christmas + more on the live blog”

1. Birmingham Council should be
   Birmingham Council should be more blunt. “Sure it looks a bit mad, but it’s better than a selfish prick killing a kid with their illegal parking. They don’t give a fuck whether your kid lives or dies, but they do (sometimes) care about their vehicle paintwork. Therefore we’re hopeful that this approach will succeed where other reasonable approaches have failed to get through their thick skulls”.

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   • Do you work in marketing or

     Do you work in marketing or the Diplomatic Service? If not you may have missed your calling!

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     • SimoninSpalding wrote:

       Do you work in marketing or the Diplomatic Service? If not you may have missed your calling!

       — SimoninSpalding

       I don’t, but I totally should ?

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2. As much as bollards are the

   As much as bollards are the true heroes of road safety, I can’t help but think that parking rule enforcement is the better answer. Install some APN cameras covering the area and keep on sending out fines in the post to the drivers. I bet that’d be cheaper than installing bollards and the fines could go towards a nice champagne and cocaine party for the Tories.

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   • I was with you, right up to

     I was with you, right up to your final cheap shot comrade.

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     • Gimpl wrote:

       I was with you, right up to your final cheap shot comrade.

       — Gimpl

       Cheap? I think you’ll find it’s an expensive, luxury shot.

       https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/dec/16/traces-of-suspected-cocaine-found-after-parties-in-liz-truss-grace-and-favour-house-say-staff

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       • Doubling down on your

         Doubling down on your cheapness – classy!

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         • Gimpl wrote:

           Doubling down on your cheapness – classy!

           — Gimpl

           Do you mean classy, like boasting about how you’re diverting money away from deprived areas and funnelling it towards the wealthiest areas?

           https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/aug/05/video-emerges-of-rishi-sunak-admitting-to-taking-money-from-deprived-areas

       • Except that studies show that

         Except that studies show that most banknotes have traces of cocaine on them, including the ones in the squirrel wallet.

         So you must be Liz Truss, therefore – following the Groan’s habitual (lack of) logic. This study in London back in 1999 said 99%.

         http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/464200.stm

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         • mattw wrote:

           Except that studies show that most banknotes have traces of cocaine on them, including the ones in the squirrel wallet.

           So you must be Liz Truss, therefore – following the Groan’s habitual (lack of) logic. This study in London back in 1999 said 99%.

           http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/464200.stm

           — mattw

           Huh?

           I’m pretty sure that handling a few bank notes is not going to leave visible residue lying around that then shows up as a positive cocaine test (the accuracy of which can be disputed).

           What part of the Gnuariad’s article was illogical in your opinion?

         • It was probably chopped

           It was probably chopped macadamia nuts again.

           The positive test is is easily explicable – that is very likely cross-contamination from having been around mistaken squirrels those in power.

           Some here wishing to tar them all with the same brush?  Easy done – just off the top of my head it’s rumoured that Peter Mandelson had a soft spot for Colombia’s 2nd finest (after their coffee) and of course we all know about Paul Flowers and Keith Vaz.  The last moonlighting as an “industrial washing machine salesman” – obviously being a politician is something embarrassing that you don’t want to mention…

   • Exactly this, and the camera
     Exactly this, and the camera should cover it’s cost, hence the burden for preventing entitled drivers parking where they like won’t fall on hard working council tax payers.

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3. “Delivery drivers have also

   “Delivery drivers have also been unable to park up and I hear parents have had difficulties too.” 

   That’s literally the point you lukewarm cup of piss. 

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4. Will you please stop putting

   Will you please stop putting links to the World Bollard Association twitter feed in the live blog. It causes a significant reduction in productivity in this corner of Lincolnshire every time you do.

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   • I LOVE BOLLARDS

     I LOVE BOLLARDS

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   • Woohoo! 2 quotes of my

     Woohoo! 2 quotes of my comments in the blog, maybe it was a more productive morning than I thought.

      

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5. Jessica Grant wrote:

   …could prove more dangerous for cyclists or pedestrians trying to navigate it. Delivery drivers have also been unable to park up

   — Jessica Grant

   The bollards do seem to be on a shared path so I have concerns about whether they’d need to be spaced further for accessibility. But overall traffic calming and stopping pavement parking outside a school are a two for one. Just a shame they haven’t done anything for the road itself.

   Also sad to see Bezos can’t continue to use the most inefficient means to undermine local stores and endanger children for profit.

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   • The bollards appear to be

     The bollards appear to be somewhere around 1.2-1.5m apart so it would be pretty uncommon to find a mobility aid or pushchair that struggled with the spacing. (wheelchair accessibility spacing is 82cm for reference)

     The only accessibility issue that I see (and those affected unfortunately may not) is that it is a forest of black bollards on black pavement. 

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   • It is weird that quite a main

     It is weird that quite a main road in Brum doesn’t seem to have streetview since 2017. However I wonder how much this house (2012) (that likes its privacy) has contributed to the cause of needing these bollards anyway. It does seem to be the only one that has cars (2014) parked outside(2015) on most streetviews (2016) going over the years.(2017)

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     • I knew you could apply to

       I knew you could apply to have a car registration plate or a face blurred out, if they’d been missed, but a whole house???

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       • brooksby wrote:

         I knew you could apply to have a car registration plate or a face blurred out, if they’d been missed, but a whole house???

         — brooksby

         Have you never heard of the Streisand effect?

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         • hawkinspeter wrote:

           I knew you could apply to have a car registration plate or a face blurred out, if they’d been missed, but a whole house???

           — hawkinspeter

           Have you never heard of the Streisand effect?

           — brooksby

           Or they’re experimenting with a cloaking device in the shed, and it’s nothing to do with Google…

       • Quite simple to do apparently

         Quite simple to do apparently.

          

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6. Should ship some of those
   Should ship some of those bollards off to Ukraine to help them keep the Ruskies out.

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   • https://twitter.com

     We may just be the answer to world peace.#WorldBollardAssociation pic.twitter.com/bg2CELsxc7

     — World Bollard Association™ (@WorldBollard) February 28, 2022

     

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     • hirsute wrote:

       We may just be the answer to world peace.#WorldBollardAssociation pic.twitter.com/bg2CELsxc7

       — World Bollard Association™ (@WorldBollard) February 28, 2022

       — hirsute

       That’ll buff right out

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7. Sticky plaster to be replaced

   Sticky plaster to be replaced by something more useful once they have thought about it. Segregarted cycleway and some proper raingardens (rather than the Guerilal Gardening size excrescences usually installed).

   Why is the street sign positioned to block the flow on the shared pavement as much as possible?

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   • mattw wrote:

     Why is the street sign positioned to block the flow on the shared pavement as much as possible?

     — mattw

     Are you talking about the second photo “across the junction?” It isn’t blocking the shared pavement.  That section of area is essentially owned by the building next to it similar to the shop frontages space is owned by them. The shared public pavement is the thin strip in front of the bollards. 

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     • I was referring to the

       I was referring to the “School Close” sign in the pic at the bottom of the article, which looks perfect for a cycling somersault.

       I admit I did not inspect the legal extent of anything.

        

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8. I’m watching Rendel’s video

   I’m watching Rendel’s video of trying to find the Battersea cycle hub parking, and a Hitch Hiker’s Guide quote comes to mind…

   “But the plans were on display…”
   “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
   “That’s the display department.”
   “With a torch.”
   “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
   “So had the stairs.”
   “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
   “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”

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9. A couple of things I didn’t

   A couple of things I didn’t have space to say on Twitter about the Battersea effort: one is that all the door opening buttons are on the right hand side, so that when you open the door you will be directly in the path of cyclists coming from the other side, and that the crowning glory comes when you get to the hub and find the notice on the door saying that from there onwards you must dismount and walk your bike to your parking space.

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   • Rendel Harris wrote:

     A couple of things I didn’t have space to say on Twitter about the Battersea effort: one is that all the door opening buttons are on the right hand side, so that when you open the door you will be directly in the path of cyclists coming from the other side, and that the crowning glory comes when you get to the hub and find the notice on the door saying that from there onwards you must dismount and walk your bike to your parking space.

     — Rendel Harris

     Not so different to the Sheffield stands in central Bristol for the main shopping area which are in a BID-controlled private-not-public space, where cycling is banned.

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   • There can be no further doubt

     There can be no further doubt that this facility was conceived, designed and constructed by people who hate cyclists.

     And how wide were the cycle lanes in the video?  They looked pretty narrow to me.

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     • I certainly think two wide

       I certainly think two wide-bar MTBs passing each other might have issues.

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       • with a bit of give and take

         with a bit of give and take it will be alright I dont think there are going to streams of cyclists entering and exiting at the same time 🙂

         the rest of it is just the trade offs of following building regulations with fire doors and disability access, Ive a feeling the access buttons are nearly always placed right hand side,  Im sure there are ways they could do it better, but it looks like the space came before the idea of what to do with it.

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         • Awavey wrote:

           with a bit of give and take it will be alright I dont think there are going to streams of cyclists entering and exiting at the same time

           — Awavey

           There aren’t now but there might be in future, there’s a huge amount of office and retail space in the development: Apple recently announced that they’re opening a 1400 worker office there, that alone should bring in a fair number.

         • Awavey wrote:

           with a bit of give and take it will be alright…….

           — Awavey

           I don’t think that is an excuse for not following best practice and deliberately designing in danger.  It is absolutely guaranteed that there will be times when there is conflict between users because they made it that way, when the briefest consideration of how it will be used would have shown them the folly of their ways.

           Perhaps this is like the design of cycle facilities on the road, in that the least qualified, least experienced trainee was considered perfectly able to design stuff for cyclists; because it’s only cyclists innit.

           I’m sure they’ll be reconsidering it once they’ve had a few collisions.  They’ll inevitably blame the cyclists and probably ban them.

10. Immaculate overtake from a

    Immaculate overtake from a tesco driver today – also they must have been waiting behind me for almost a minute too. I did give them a big thumbs up.

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    • I always worry about doing

      I always worry about doing that in case it gets someone’s back up (“You being f-ing patronising?!” “Which finger was that?”).

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    • Generally speaking I find

      Generally speaking I find supermarket delivery drivers are very careful around me when cycling. Do they get paid a wage rather than per delivery? Do they receive training?

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      • Not convinced on that, when
        Not convinced on that, when Sainsburys vans overtake through pinchpoints like this.

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      • With Waitrose, Yes and Yes

        With Waitrose, Yes and Yes 🙂

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        • I’m sure I can find a
          I’m sure I can find a Waitrose close pass example in the archives too. It’s down to the individual driver ultimately, not the company.

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      • Do they receive training?

        Do they receive training?

        Stagecoach bus drivers doubtless receive training, but they don’t pay any attention to it because there’s no possibility that Lancashire Constabulary will pay any attention to reports of close-passing by Stagecoach (or any other bus, lorry or car!) drivers

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11. sad news to start the year to

    sad news to start the year to hear Velovixen have gone into liquidation, they were a good company/online shop to deal with IMO.

    not that I guess it would have made much difference but I regret now not buying more stuff from them last year, as I really liked alot of their branded range but never quite hit the buy button on it. As theyre not wrong with the do I spend £100 on a nice cycling jersey? Or do I stick that on a household bill? as a choice. One of my near permanent new years resolutions is always to try to buy less new kit each year

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    • Shame, Mrs H was/is a big fan

      Shame, Mrs H was/is a big fan of their stuff and it was definitely of a quality worth paying a premium for (so I was told when complaining that my entire outfit including shoes cost less than her jersey…).

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12. Article brings nothing new,

    Article brings nothing new, but the picture they used is brilliant.

    https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/jan/05/barmy-bunch-of-60-bollards-near-birmingham-school

    That’s safe!

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    • Mrs Jessica Grant, “..

      Mrs Jessica Grant, “…Delivery drivers have also been unable to park up and I hear parents have had difficulties too.” FFS

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