You're hired to put the words in Lord Sugar's mouth.....

Ah, Assos. Like Stella Artois, reassuringly expensive. Even multi-millionaires have pause to reflect if this picture of Lord Sugar at the Cycle Show at Earls Court yesterday is anything to go by.

But what was the Amstrad supremo and star of TV's The Apprentice really thinking? Over to you, road.cc users, to supply the caption... we can't stretch to providing Assos kit as a prize, but there's a road.cc t-shirt up for grabs for the best entry come Tiffin time on Monday.

Born in Scotland, Simon moved to London aged seven and now lives in the Oxfordshire Cotswolds with his miniature schnauzer, Elodie. He fell in love with cycling one Saturday morning in 1994 while living in Italy when Milan-San Remo went past his front door. A daily cycle commuter in London back before riding to work started to boom, he's been news editor at road.cc since 2009. Handily for work, he speaks French and Italian. He doesn't get to ride his Colnago as often as he'd like, and freely admits he's much more adept at cooking than fettling with bikes.