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Video: Phil Gaimon's new hobby is collecting Strava KOMs (and he targets those held by a convicted doper)

Has been gunning for Thorfinn-Sasquatch, but first video sees him going for a record held by Chris Horner

The tension's unbearable. Retired pro Phil Gaimon has tried to break Chris Horner's record on the Strava segment for Mount Palomar. He's long since finished – he's even stopped at a café – but he's now uploading his ride and HIS LAPTOP BATTERY'S ONLY AT SIX PER CENT.

This is the climactic scene in part one of Phil Gaimon's Worst Retirement Ever, a new video series in which the former pro tries to claim Strava KOMs.

“This year I'll train before work and on weekends I'll go after hill climb records with a light bike and some of the fanciest, dorkiest gear I could find. I still don't know if I can break any, but I'll use what's left of my pro fitness to find out.”

Gaimon says the pros don't generally care about their Strava times, and jokes "but now this is all I have left."

That said, he does have a theory that Chris Horner removed his KOM ride when he heard that Gaimon was out gunning for one particular segment to deny him a screengrab of supremacy – only to later reinstate it upon discovering his time hadn't been beaten.

Even without appearing, Horner doesn't come out of this video well. Gaimon says the 2016 Vuelta a Espana winner came back to US racing with "an attitude and a cockiness that I thought was rude."

He says that it was, "fun to beat him in his last year of racing – that was a little joy that we took."

Cycling Tips reports that Gaimon has also been targeting the KOMs held by the infamous California rider Thorfinn-Sassquatch, otherwise known as Nick Brandt-Sorenson.

Brandt-Sorenson last year pleaded guilty to selling performance-enhancing drugs online. He was also banned from racing for two years from September 4, 2011 after testing positive for Efaproxiral, a substance which artificially enhances delivery of oxygen to the tissues.

“It’s a pretty complicated story,” says Gaimon. “But the executive summary is that this guy has been cheating.”

He says he feels like some kind of protective elder brother figure. “There’s this bully on the playground pushing people around, and I’m the one who can do something about it. I mean, I know a ton of guys who could take these KOMs clean — Mike Woods and Joe Dombrowski could take them with one leg – but unlike me, those guys have better things to do.”

Alex has written for more cricket publications than the rest of the road.cc team combined. Despite the apparent evidence of this picture, he doesn't especially like cake.

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13 comments

Avatar
Paul J | 6 years ago
1 like

Horner is as good as a convicted doper, given the era he comes from; plus his missing a test in the Vuelta he won.

Avatar
Leviathan replied to Paul J | 6 years ago
0 likes
Paul J wrote:

Horner is as good as a convicted doper, given the era he comes from; plus his missing a test in the Vuelta he won.

By 'era' you mean now don't you?

Avatar
Barraob1 | 6 years ago
0 likes

Thorfinn sadact should have had all his koms pulled once he was convicted. There was a KoM near me which was held by a guy with a max speed of 123kmh, strava let it stand until it was black flagged. Strava don't give a shit, no integrity.

Avatar
Jackson replied to Barraob1 | 6 years ago
4 likes
Barraob1 wrote:

Thorfinn sadact should have had all his koms pulled once he was convicted. There was a KoM near me which was held by a guy with a max speed of 123kmh, strava let it stand until it was black flagged. Strava don't give a shit, no integrity.

It's an app. There's not a guy sitting there at Strava reviewing your file as it comes in and writing your times down on a big whiteboard.

Avatar
allanj replied to Jackson | 6 years ago
0 likes
Jackson wrote:
Barraob1 wrote:

Thorfinn sadact should have had all his koms pulled once he was convicted. There was a KoM near me which was held by a guy with a max speed of 123kmh, strava let it stand until it was black flagged. Strava don't give a shit, no integrity.

It's an app. There's not a guy sitting there at Strava reviewing your file as it comes in and writing your times down on a big whiteboard.

 

Well you've ruined it for me now, that's what I always though happened.  I guess instead of a white board he puts it into a spreadsheet or something?  Even so you'd hope he spent a bit of time considering the integrity of what you'd done, but maybe the technology has taken that out of him.

Avatar
WolfieSmith | 6 years ago
3 likes

I don't do Strava but I love messing with it. I have a mate who enjoys the app and I lead him out to help him for sprint sections. That's not cheating surely..? 

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drosco replied to WolfieSmith | 6 years ago
0 likes
WolfieSmith wrote:

I don't do Strava but I love messing with it. I have a mate who enjoys the app and I lead him out to help him for sprint sections. That's not cheating surely..? 

Well it renders it somewhat pointless doesn't it?

Avatar
WolfieSmith | 6 years ago
3 likes

..and Horner win the 2013 Vuelta not the 2016. Not the first time the Vuelta has had an 'out of this world' winner. Cobo anyone? 

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Cupov | 6 years ago
2 likes

The convicted doper is Brandt-Sorenson, not Horner.

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KnightBiker | 6 years ago
0 likes

I think Chris Horner is never convicted for doping, if I'm correct the title should really be changed.

It's also a piss poor motivation to get Kom's. one should do it for themselfs. As for setting a Kom: there are many people 'bending' the none existing rules: drafting behind mopeds cars or e-bikes. And using a recubent  bike would set records sky high too on flat segments. It's a game where everyone uses what he/she can to gain an advantage: no UCI rules!

Avatar
Russell Orgazoid | 6 years ago
3 likes

Strava wanker!

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Leviathan replied to Russell Orgazoid | 6 years ago
0 likes
Plasterer's Radio wrote:

Strava wanker!

"How Rude" - Jar Jar Binks

You is jelly, where's your KOM's.

Avatar
Leviathan | 6 years ago
0 likes

Some things:

1. What is that thing on his shoulder? 1b. Those are his shoulders?

2. I've got Strava live segments on my phone. I know when I've taken a KOM, he should stop being cheap and pay for Premium.

3. 2009 is now long enough ago that someone can have a whole career and retire!

4. Well Horner may well be a douche, but this guy sounded a bit chippy too. But then he does eat cookies. But then he can't eat so many because look at him.

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