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Vin Cox helps prevent attempted suicide

On a ride this week Cox and friends discovered the man, spoke to him and persuaded him to seek help. Cox urges people to look out for those in need

Vin Cox has said discovering and preventing a suicide attempt while out riding has given him a new appreciation for mental health issues and the “exaggerated aspirations, advertising ideals, and the distorted view of others we get via social media”.

Cox says he and two friends discovered a man during a bike ride on Tuesday night (29th), who was in his car in a car park. They stopped and spoke to the man and, Cox says, persuaded him to seek help.

After sharing the incident (though not revealing the man's identity) in a post on his Facebook page, Cox told road.cc the story had “struck a chord” with a lot of people who both shared the post and commented publicly and privately to share concerns about mental health issues, particularly at Christmas.

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He wrote: “Riding with friends this evening we met a man trying to end his life. We interrupted him, talked to him, and persuaded him at least to move on saying he was going to try and find a way forward and talk to someone.

“I feel guilty because something he said was familiar; he said life was actually good at the moment, he said he loves his wife, but he said he felt he wasn't good enough and he was failing. It reminds me of how our basically great lives can feel inadequate when we compare them to exaggerated aspirations, advertising ideals, and the distorted view of others we get via social media.”

He says although his life is something he is thankful for, his own ups and downs aren’t truly reflected on social media.

“I hide the grit from you... I have bad days (weeks/months!) at work. I'm past my physical peak and I'm too fat. I argue with loved ones. I've let people down. I'm disorganised with money (filthy stuff!).

“I want to be an inspiration, usually that means optimism, but today I wonder if I could inspire some realism in your next Facebook post.”

He told road.cc the post had a huge response from friends and acquaintances in this country and abroad. He says the incident has taught him how important it is having realistic expectations of ourselves, as well as looking out for those who might be in need of help, particularly at this time of year when financial, relationship and personal problems can be more acute.

He says some friends have got in touch who, he says, “have kept their own problems under the surface”.

“It seems to have struck a chord with people,” he says.

Suicide rates among men are approximately three times those among women, with those aged 30-44 most affected. Feelings of social isolation are a significant risk factor in attempted suicide.

Cox adds constant positive portrayals of other people's lives, when viewed through a prism of low mood or depression, could make people feel inadequate, and has promised to be more honest in the way he portrays himself, so he isn't contributing to those feelings in anyone. He also says his friend Matt should be thanked for helping the man.

“Matt did most of it, he was the one who spotted the guy and it was him that gave the most help and convinced him to look in on old friends and family.

“We told him that we all have our dark times and problems and he isn’t alone in that - he shouldn’t feel alone.”

Scientific evidence shows being physically active can lift mood, reduce stress and anxiety and encourage “feel-good” endorphins. The NHS says a healthy diet is important in maintaining mental health as well as preventing physical health problems.

If this issue has affected you or anyone you know, the Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, on 116 123 or at www.samaritans.org

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11 comments

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daveokane | 8 years ago
0 likes

Sad

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aladdin pain | 8 years ago
3 likes

This story appears with some frequency...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-35179144

...but not frequently enough.  After nearly 20 years of working with the severely mentally ill I've lost count of the beautiful people I knew who got too-little help from a broken system and flickered out of existence while everyone else was watching reality TV and posting pictures of their lunch.   Nothing has done as much to combat my own depression as cycling and I often wonder if it would be helpful to hold therapeutic group rides for those functioning at a high-enough level: ride for an hour out into the sticks at a useful but realistic tempo with five or ten clients, conduct a group session in the open air while everyone is invigorated and perhaps more open to new perspectives and to trusting their groupmates, and ride back.  Repeat next week.  Maybe those who don't get much from the group at least realize the rides are happy-making and keep riding.  A colleague says this is a bad idea because the high produced by the ride would cause clients to start the group session on a synthetically positive note, and what depressed folk need is to learn how to cope while in the abyss.  Maybe, but the wind and the sweat have to be better than bad coffee and fluorescent lighting...?

Avatar
swldxer replied to aladdin pain | 8 years ago
1 like

aladdin pain wrote:

Maybe those who don't get much from the group at least realize the rides are happy-making and keep riding.  A colleague says this is a bad idea because the high produced by the ride would cause clients to start the group session on a synthetically positive note, and what depressed folk need is to learn how to cope while in the abyss.  Maybe, but the wind and the sweat have to be better than bad coffee and fluorescent lighting...?

In my experience the mental heath pros, or the Happy Clappies as I called them can't do amything with words - you have to ride it out and come out the other end yourself one day at a time. No pills or platitudes will work.

Avatar
Beatnik69 replied to swldxer | 8 years ago
2 likes

swldxer wrote:

aladdin pain wrote:

Maybe those who don't get much from the group at least realize the rides are happy-making and keep riding.  A colleague says this is a bad idea because the high produced by the ride would cause clients to start the group session on a synthetically positive note, and what depressed folk need is to learn how to cope while in the abyss.  Maybe, but the wind and the sweat have to be better than bad coffee and fluorescent lighting...?

In my experience the mental heath pros, or the Happy Clappies as I called them can't do amything with words - you have to ride it out and come out the other end yourself one day at a time. No pills or platitudes will work.

My wife is a psychotherapist. She has had clients  (note the plural) tell her that she has literally saved their lives. There may be some who are 'Happy Clappies' and won't be able to help but there are others who will be able to help. If you are feeling suicidal please speak to someone, be it a friend relative or your GP.

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KiwiHelen replied to aladdin pain | 8 years ago
2 likes

aladdin pain wrote:

This story appears with some frequency...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-35179144

A colleague says this is a bad idea because the high produced by the ride would cause clients to start the group session on a synthetically positive note, and what depressed folk need is to learn how to cope while in the abyss.  Maybe, but the wind and the sweat have to be better than bad coffee and fluorescent lighting...?

In my experience exercise, including cycling, significantly reduces the width and depth of the abyss. Therefore coping might be getting out for a ride or a run. Great aspect of cycling is it's such a social sport and great way to make some new buddies, giving you something to relate to others about. There isn't always going to be just one fix. But something is better than nothing. I think your idea is great! 

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carvinmarvin | 8 years ago
1 like

Lost my dad and brother in law  to suicide, massive understatement to say it's a very difficult thing to deal with. Well done to vin cox, good to see a positive outcome from your intervention

 

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Jacobi | 8 years ago
4 likes

Well done, Vin Cox.

To anyone who has had suicidal thoughts this year:

I'm glad you're still here.

Keep hanging in there.

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swldxer replied to Jacobi | 8 years ago
3 likes

Jacobi wrote:

Well done, Vin Cox.

To anyone who has had suicidal thoughts this year:

I'm glad you're still here.

Keep hanging in there.

In my case I jumped off a bridge on 9SEP13, smashed myself to bits and spent 121 days in hospital. I was in bed for a year at home and can now walk four hours in the hills and will be back on my Scott CR1 in 2016 and have a holiday in 15 Euro countries in June. There is a good life out the other end of the black tunnel.

The key is to put off the day of doom until the black clouds go away, which they eventually do, even though you can't see it at the time.

 

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Simon_MacMichael | 8 years ago
3 likes

I learnt yesterday evening that the same day Vin helped this guy, a friend of mine took his own life. I wish someone had been there to intervene. I don't know the circumstances yet, and I don't know what drove him to it, but the comments on Facebook show that however alone he thought he was, there are an awful lot of people who cared for him.

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swldxer | 8 years ago
2 likes

We used to meet a lot of those cases on the Humber Bridge and I could not understand what would make them go that far. Then two years ago, I found myself in the same situation and jumped off a bridge, so I know what a dark place you can end up in.

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yingyang20 | 8 years ago
1 like

Great job in helping him! I hope he can get himself to a stage where he feels more positive in himself and in life again! An uplifiting story on the Eve of New Year!

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