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House of Lords in action

There's no business like parliamentary business

I only caught part of the debate before falling into a catatonic state. Thank goodness it was recorded.

What is the government going to do to tell the cyclists to obey the red signs?

May I suggest to the honourable lady that we employ Daleks to police and exterminate them when necessary.

I don't care for these newfangled Doctor Whos--

Point of order, we were discussing the red signs. But out of deference to my noble friend's great age and wisdom, I yield the floor.

--And they have ear things.

Ear things?

Yes. My understanding is they're filled with music. Then there's that horrible Boris bike man, always talking on the phone with his hairdresser.

My hairdresser despairs over helmet hair. Takes him ages to make me presentable again. But as I'm in the public eye, it's important.

I'll tell the honourable gentleman what's important. Scofflaws need to be carrying ID because they habitually lie. I know it in my bones.

Did somebody mention phones? We need the Daleks to zap those out of their hands.

I'm a Tom Baker man. It's just a shame he got his scarf caught in his spokes and strangled himself.

My noble friend may be confusing the fourth incarnation of Doctor Who, still very much alive, with Isadora Duncan. We were lovers.

Cycling is so unsafe.

Think of the children, their heads are like eggshells. Shouldn't they all be wearing helmets? Or at least some sort of packing material.

My Lords, We've moved on from helmets. And the government is looking into which Doctor Who was the best. Now, if there are no other


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