Pedros Beverage Wrench

Pedros are well known for their tools and lubes and their distinctive yellow and black styling adorns many a workshop. Pedros sound like they come from somewhere hot, like Spain or Mexico and it's only natural that if you're working somewhere hot you'll be wanting to open a cool drink occasionally, which is why they have designed this Beverage Wrench for your benefit. With a rubberised handle it's easy to grip and you could probably open bottles for several friends without developing blisters.

Anyone who has ever tackled DIY tasks around the house or on the bike will know that it's important to have the right tool for the job. Improvising with what comes to hand, whether it's nail-clippers to cut gear cables or a lump hammer to shift a stuck tap simply leads to chaos and disaster.

Opening a refreshing drink after a hard days riding is no different and I'll bet we all know someone who lacks a few teeth after trying to bite off a crown cap or has drastically reduced the value of their Chippendale dining table after smacking the cap on the edge. Obviously none of this applies to anyone who rides an off-the-peg fixie, as these seem to come supplied with a bottle opener on pretty much every available surface. Presumably if our hipster chums move away from artisan colas and micro-brewed beers and start drinking wine we can look forward to cunningly concealed corkscrews. I'm working on a design for a pump-action crank mounted system even as I type.

The business end is made from laser cut, heat treated steel which is reassuring as the last thing you want is to snap off an inferior beverage opener, impaling yourself on the jagged stump and staggering to a watery death face down in the kids paddling pool while spraying bright arterial blood over the clean washing that your wife has just hung up. Any number of summer barbecues have been ruined this way, so knowing that you're using laser cut,heat treated steel means peace of mind and a restful afternoon cracking open bottle after bottle, just for the fun of it.

Pedros claim that the wrench is compatible with both foreign and domestic beers. Coca-Cola wanted to buy the world a Coke, but only Pedros are prepared to help everyone to actually open an old skool Coke bottle, regardless of their country of origin. Without wishing to cast aspersions on the veracity of their claim I tested the wrench on my recent trip to Belgium and I have to say, I was disappointed. The fine brews I was offered came with a very tightly crimped cap. Lacking a chamfered edge on the central noggin, the bit that actually goes under the edge of the cap, the result was a wrench that kept slipping off the bottle. Repeated testing produced the same result and I went away desolate, convinced that I was testing nothing more than an expensive marketing novelty with no real purpose other than to be bought as a last minute MAMIL stocking filler by wives, girlfriends and significant others.

However, in the spirit of fair and thorough testing I assembled a variety of beers from all of the main cycling countries of Europe (except for Spain and Italy because their beer is, frankly, pish). Working through the bottles the wrench was adequate, but far from reassuring. After a long and exhausting testing session I'd established that mass produced beers have a looser crimp, long handled beverage wrenches are more prone to slipping and that I needed a kebab and a little lie-down.

Verdict

It's a bottle opener. It opens bottles. Just.