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Aussie police hunt ‘poo cyclist’ who took a dump in Melbourne driveway (+ video)

She took the expression ‘Leaving it all out on the road’ a bit too literally

Police in Melbourne are hunting for a ‘poo cyclist’ who was filmed taking a dump in the driveway of a house in one of the city’s most affluent suburbs – perhaps taking the expression ‘Leaving it out on the road’ a bit too literally.

Footage of the dirty deed, taking from a CCTV camera at the property in Brighton that served as an impromptu public convenience was shared to Reddit.

It showed the woman, wearing a blue cycle helmet, quickly whip down her leggings, do her business, then casually stroll out of the property, stopping briefly outside presumably to retrieve her bike.

“That’s disgusting and also impressive,” said one Reddit user, comparing the speed of the pit stop with that of a Formula 1 crew changing tyres mid-race.

Another said: “No magazines, no phone? I didn’t even know that was possible.”

According to a report on news.com.au, al fresco defecation is a bit of an issue in Melbourne and elsewhere in Australia, with ‘poo joggers’ often singled out as the culprits.

Suspicions that the offender is a turd category racer riding a Scatt or possibly a Merda bike have yet to be confirmed.

Simon joined road.cc as news editor in 2009 and is now the site’s community editor, acting as a link between the team producing the content and our readers. A law and languages graduate, published translator and former retail analyst, he has reported on issues as diverse as cycling-related court cases, anti-doping investigations, the latest developments in the bike industry and the sport’s biggest races. Now back in London full-time after 15 years living in Oxford and Cambridge, he loves cycling along the Thames but misses having his former riding buddy, Elodie the miniature schnauzer, in the basket in front of him.

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17 comments

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Harmanhead | 2 years ago
0 likes

It's so obvious that was a women having a quick wee! 

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VIPcyclist | 2 years ago
2 likes

Poo is a bit of a problem near where I live, the Yorkshire Dale's. That said an awful lot of the public toilets have been shut down. What are people supposed to do when caught short? Maybe take a doggie poo bag, or poo in a river were it can join the rest of the raw sewage.

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peted76 | 2 years ago
0 likes

This is funny shit!

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The Maso | 2 years ago
1 like

No wipe...?

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Cupov | 2 years ago
2 likes

Taking a wild shit in bibs is a whole other skillset.

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Captain Badger replied to Cupov | 2 years ago
0 likes

Cupov wrote:

Taking a wild shit in bibs is a whole other skillset.

Hopefully that involves removing said bibs, to some extent at least....

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wycombewheeler replied to Captain Badger | 2 years ago
0 likes

Captain Badger wrote:

Cupov wrote:

Taking a wild shit in bibs is a whole other skillset.

Hopefully that involves removing said bibs, to some extent at least....

thinking about having a button up flat sewn into mine for easy access.

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Sriracha | 2 years ago
5 likes

Police are acting on information from a stool pigeon.

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mdavidford replied to Sriracha | 2 years ago
3 likes

They've put their number 2 officer on the job, and they're carrying out plans for an emergency evacuation.

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Sriracha replied to mdavidford | 2 years ago
1 like

What's his clear-up rate?

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TheBillder replied to Sriracha | 2 years ago
1 like

At least the police have something to go on.

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0-0 | 2 years ago
0 likes

The cyclist is definitely female, you can tell by the blurring and the stance.
A male would stand with their feet further apart, ready to unleash the beast within.

Thank me later Melbourne Police, I've just halved your workload.

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srchar | 2 years ago
0 likes

He's only a poo cyclist if he can crimp one off while riding a bike.

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Captain Badger replied to srchar | 2 years ago
0 likes

srchar wrote:

He's only a poo cyclist if he can crimp one off while riding a bike.

Can't have been a cyclist - they never wear helmets

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Dnnnnnn | 2 years ago
2 likes

Impressively efficient.

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HoarseMann replied to Dnnnnnn | 2 years ago
1 like

sloppy effort IMHO

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Mungecrundle | 2 years ago
5 likes

I didn't expect to see this when I logged on to Road.cc

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