The correct number of bikes to possess is famously n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. One woman has this week taken to Facebook to bemoan her husband’s etiquette in abiding by this rule. It seems the first she knew of his latest purchase was finding it in the dining room and she has therefore been asking for advice as to how to ‘punish him’.
Posting anonymously on the Spotted Worthing Facebook page, she wrote:
“My husband has just spent a horrifying (HORRIFYING) amount of money on a new road bike (of which he already has 2). The first time I’m aware of this little “treat” was finding it (freshly delivered) in our dining room (oh, it’s worth mentioning at this point husband has slipped out to work and we’re not due to see one another for a few days). Am I so angry I want to sever his Achilles (plural) so he can only look at it!
“No discussion about it, not even a whisper.
“I’m all for treats and I understand “boys and their toys” Christ, it was me who got him into the hobby, but we’re married for Pete’s sake! Note; we both work and I haven’t bought the Chloe handbag I’ve been ogling in the spring collection.
“So my question is this; How do I punish him without resulting in me serving a custodial sentence?”
She later reveals that the bike cost £3,500, so he probably didn’t visit the shop that was reportedly offering spouse receipts last year. The aim of that was to enable cyclists to show their other halves they paid less for their bike than they really did – although such subterfuge does of course give rise to this fear.
The woman also clarifies matters by saying “please note it’s OUR money” in response to a number of people pointing out that he can spend his money how he pleases.
Other responses vary from rather crude suggestions how she should apologise to Emma Burns’ pithy “send it back.”
Meanwhile, Richard Gr has advice for the husband: “It’s easier to say “sorry” than “can I?” But I would suggest sleeping with one eye open for the time being.”
Kerry Moore says she should get a bike and go out with him – to which road.cc will add that she should also invest in an even more expensive model.
Stacy Seekins says simply: “Take it out for a spin. He’d be pissed you went on it first.”
The majority of the responses of course suggest that the couple might do well to try and communicate a little bit better.
59 thoughts on “Man buys new bike – wife is NOT happy and takes to Facebook to crowdsource revenge plans”
Rookie error there. Or ballsy
Rookie error there. Or ballsy statement.
This guy has clearly made
This guy has clearly made some bad choices in the past!
What an idiot. At least when
What an idiot. At least when the divorce comes though he’ll have more time to ride it…
AEB wrote:
When the divorce comes through it’s highly unlikely he’ll be able to afford to keep it.
Bit daft to put it in the
Bit daft to put it in the dining room.
I’m about to do n+1 this weekend too 🙂 I will head off any counter-argument by getting rid of two of the existing ones. So really n-1 ! It will hide in the garage for a while until the weather improves anyway. N is actually a sufficiently large number at the moment that she probably won’t even notice 🙂
CStar wrote:
This n+1 thing seems to be bandyd about a lot lately. Its a bloody good marketing ploy, iv had it told to me by two different bike salsmen from the same shop a year apart. You gotta admire people who have got the will not to get sucked into the whole marketing hype. He’s just another selfish bloke out of controle.
May I just chip in regarding
May I just chip in regarding Rule #12.
It states is can also be written as S-1, where S is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner…
One always has to think about all angles and what may tip the balance. “What, this old thing, I’ve had it for ages” can only be used infrequently otherwise you will get rumbled.
OldSchoolSpinner wrote:
I have always heard the algorithm expressed as x-1
Your bikes should always be
Your bikes should always be the same colour/ colour way so she’s none the wiser. If they look the same she’ll never know! Although I have the go ahead for a new Cipo frame
I say she get her bag… I
I say she get her bag… I don’t think he’ll care much… He’s already got the bike… But, they should have a tlk about what ‘their’ money means… It’s such a hard concept o define…
Agree with steviemarco ‘Your
Agree with steviemarco ‘Your bikes should always be the same colour/ colour way’…or just say like I did….oh, its got my other set of wheels on 🙂
Sell it and by a 3K handbag.
Sell it and by a 3K handbag.
The man has 2 bikes and just
The man has 2 bikes and just spent 3.5k on another one without talking it out with the wife. What sort of marriage is that. He either has some kind adiction to spending money on toys or they don’t trust each other to even talk face to face
multifrag wrote:
Agree there are surely issues. It looks a bit like saying “I can do what I like and I don’t care what you think” to me – not promising. One wonders what recent interactions led the man to think that this was a good idea?
DaveE128 wrote:
I think this rather depends on the financial situation. If I was on, say, a £150k+ pa director salary or something, then I think I wouldn’t worry too much about buying a 3.5k bike off the cuff! (as long as it wasn’t every week).
I’m not on that kind of money though, so I need to keep on saving …
multifrag wrote:
Your second sentence is the pertinent one (“what sort of marriage is that?”)
I have 5 bikes currently, the last being the ludicrously expensive one (or at least the most expensive so far), my wife told me to buy a new one if I wanted one, and has still not asked how much it was.
She also suggested I convert the storage room in the back of the garage into a bike store
She also never commented when I bought an unnecessary sports car, a stupidly large TV, and when I spend ridiculous amounts of musical instruments or vinyl LPs
At the same time I never ask how much she spends on anything she wants to buy (though tbh I’m the one that spends the most)
If you don’t have money issues why should one half of a partnership grumble if the other spends?
New purchases should always
New purchases should always be kept in the man shed and the key hidden.
Fancy leaving it in a room adjacent to her place of work.
I think this is being m7s
I think this is being m7s read. Clearly he is enjoying this new hobby she picked for him, and he thinks she would enjoy it too. Since he left it for her to find it must be a present so they can enjoy riding together.
I wish I was that brave….
I wish I was that brave….
peted76 wrote:
Think ahead and make sure what you’re buying isn’t too dissimilar to what it’s replacing. Got away with Dura Ace upgrade from Ultergra, and Zipp 404 from Mavic Cosmics…….wasn’t noticed. Separate bank accts is essential though 🙂
well, I bought a pair of zipp
well, I bought a pair of zipp 202s last year when I was feeling particularly flush and ballsy. I’m afraid to admit though, that I was frogmarched back to the shop and ordered to take them off 🙁
however, a massive sparkling ring for our tenth anniversary soon helped smooth over the inevitable refitting of the wheels!!
There is another way – learn
There is another way – learn to build up your own bikes. Upgrades and replacing old parts are always more acceptable than new bike purchases, though I don’t think I have ever made a major purchase (eg frame, groupset, race wheels) without at least mentioning it.
So you upgrade the frame, and then the parts. The outcome is the same.
Last new bike I bought was my Brompton, in 2008. Everything else I own has been is either 2nd hand, or self built.
flobble wrote:
Just thinking, the only upgrade I mastered on my 2013 Brompton are Carradice front and saddle bags – and which lady would mind a bag or two
Oh, and I do not buy a new bike – I just start new projects…
Regards,
Dr. Ko
Talking about spending £1000
Talking about spending £1000 on a pushbike with someone who doesn’t have an out and out passion for bicycles can at least be a rational discussion. Trying to explain a £3,500 pushbike will have them think you are certifiable no matter how much they love you. Trust me on this.
Mungecrundle wrote:
[[[[[ “PUSHBIKE”?!? What’s that, from the mouth of a cyclist? That’s what you do when you’re out on a ride and have mechanically pranged your velo, making it unrideable…..that’s when you have to PUSH it, surely. (Okay, I won’t call you Shirley).
PhilRuss wrote:
1. It’s a push bike because you push the pedals.
2. I think Mungecrungle used it deliberately as a dismissive term used by non cyclists.
There is another way, being
There is another way, being honest and talking about it.
I’m not recommending it you understand, just pointing out that it exists
(he says with a yet to be declared set of carbon hoops in the garage)
Nixster wrote:
Love it!
When I bought my current best
When I bought my current best bike for £2.5k my missus was rather surprised how much they cost. Turned to horror when I mentioned that I’d probably treat myself to a Aero bike next year, I think I’ll have to hand-me-down my current winter bike to one of my brothers to get away with that.
Any more than the three bikes I have already is asking for trouble! I have to get another shed this year so I have room to store the inevitable kids bikes I’ll need to pick up. I suspect I’ll get less grief once everyone else has their own bikes, at least I hope so!
No matter whose money it is, I’d never dream of not discussing it with my wife though!
I suggest this dude could get
I suggest this dude could get out of jail here by fronting up the next holiday together, and it better be a good one. Not this…
“By the way, I’ve booked a week away in Mallorca with the boys and girls of the club. And no, of course we shan’t be going to any nightclubs.”
She could always cut up his
She could always cut up his Castelli / Rapha cycling gear.
Oh damn – that would just give him an excuse to buy more
Always pick a colour that you
Always pick a colour that you like for your bike then stick to it ..They never know when you have bought a new one as long as you never have them in the one room at the same time
Of course, if he had only
Of course, if he had only gone and leased it from us he could have “in all honesty” have said that he had not bought it 🙂 LOL
It would also give him a legitmate way to change his bike every couple of years 🙂 LOL
Still looking good Jezzer!
Still looking good Jezzer!
Oh, and you Ian -of course!
improved communication skills
improved communication skills definately needed to get this over diplomatically but surely a bike is a better use of money than a handbag…
I would never buy a bike
I would never buy a bike without vaguely mentioning it – just to gauge the water so to speak. Nothing wrong with treating yourself occasionally, but the treets will need to be reciporated.
However… the wife should chill out a little – Make him pay by all means, but the husband is having a little MLC – and buying a flash bike is much better (for her) than spending on a flash motobike, car or other women…
My wife was never happy
My wife was never happy whether I bought bikes or not! She chose not to buy the handbag, he chose to buy the bike. Like it says they’re BOTH earning. I’m guessing he didn’t ask because he knew the answer. I think the equation that applies to how many bikes a man needs can also be applied to how many bossy, controlling EX wives a man needs!
Remember being in a well
Remember being in a well known SW London bikeshop about 20 years ago when a chap who was celebrating his impending divorce was embarrassed on trying to pay because his soon to be ex-wife had stopped his cards.
My Mother’s tactic with new shoes and hand bags was to hide them away for a few months, so that when they did come out and my Father asked “is that / are those new” she could answer in honesty that she’d had them for ages.
Facebook, that pillar of
Facebook, that pillar of sound advice. (Please note other social network substrates are available).
…and when he gets home he
…and when he gets home he will point out that it has female specific geometry and seat, is in her size, and then there is the card which was lying face down on the carpet below it, the cello tape having detached itself from the bar tape……and a month later she will happily let him upgrade to those new wheels he wants.
Zebra wrote:
Oh dear! It’s a serious mistake to buy your wife a bike. If she wants one, let her choose her own.
Back on message, I know someone whose new bike is at this moment at ‘a friend’s garage’ till he can choose the right moment to reveal his purchase.
Zebra wrote:
Cello tape? That sounds a very niche product! Is it a string replacement?
I always say, “darling, there
I always say, “darling, there’s something I have to tell you”. By that stage she is thinking “oh no, he’s been unfaithful!!???”
So when it turns out to be a new bike, everything is roses.
If I even hinted at something
If I even hinted at something like buying a new bike, I *know* that my wife’s response would be, “No, because you already have one “.
But he only has three bikes.
But he only has three bikes.
I hate facebook.
I hate facebook.
Quite. Exactly the same way
Quite. Exactly the same way that I have no understanding why a Dolce & Gabbana (I can’t even be arsed to check if that is the correct spelling) isn’t just a “handbag”.
A seperate account or a bike
A seperate account or a bike account is the solution.
What you then spend it on is of no concern to her, provided all the bills have been paid.
She can do the same for hand bags and shoes.
Buying a new bike should be a
Buying a new bike should be a joyful experience. Why do these women (seems to be women in most cases/comments) feel obliged to spoil it?! Share in the joy of your loved one, shower compliments over the groupset and wheels, show interest in the finishing kit. Be supportive.
Your man’s admittedly often expensive hobby will only result in a fitter, leaner and happier partner for you. It’s not like he’s spending the money on alcohol or drugs or his secretary now, is it?!
The better half is always in
The better half is always in need of suitable gift ideas and I’m sure that this would be an ideal opportunity to purchase an accessory. Such a cherished item obviously needs a strong lock, fitted appropriately. I’m sure the location of the key could be inventive; behind the reception desk of a good hotel in an envelope in her name, maybe.
Only in the dining room? Pfff
Only in the dining room? Pfff – friend of mine once put his new mountain bike in his wife’s side of their bed when she was out at work 😀
They’re still together and, somehow, he seems to have got away with several bikes, assorted upgrades and 3 motorbikes since then.
My wife was fully aware of my Sunday Best bike build project and was happy enough when I bought a hybrid for putting a child seat on – both my money.
I think I would struggle to justify another bike without getting rid of one first, though – either financially or space to keep it.
Any comments along the lines of “how many bikes do you need” can be deflected with the counter argument of “how many pair of jeans/shoes do you need”.
My daughter spotted a Royal
My daughter spotted a Royal Mail card which indicated that the latest ebay frameset was in the lawnmower shed.
She must have detected my anxiety and as a result my wife came bearing down on me just as I negotiated the box into the bike cave. Being grassed on by a 10 year old is a tough one to take.
The Hiroshima-esque explosion that ensued was both ferocious and disproportionate… She hadn’t spotted the other frameset that had snuck in the previous day…so she was going off on an assumed total of n-1
If she clocks the Record 11 groupset ready to fit I reckon I’m dead…
Jack Osbourne snr wrote:
I assume you’ll remember this when it is your 10 year old’s borthday and all she gets is a card because “you didn’t want to get in trouble with mummy again”
keirik wrote:
That’s a suggestion worthy of serious consideration…
This does remind me that I am
This does remind me that I am under an obligation to sell one of mine – anyone need an Airnimal Joey Sport 24” folder with discs, rack and better handlebars?
We have a simple rule, we
We have a simple rule, we both put a grand into a joint account each month.
We can do whatever we want with the rest without reproach…
I currently have three stripped down MTB bikes in the lounge a box foll of enve finishing kit ready to go back on them. two training bikes in the hall, and four more in my study…then we could go into frames ready to get new part 🙂
SingleSpeed wrote:
Pretty much the same. What is needed into the joint account goes into the joint account and the rest is your own.
Sadly the questioning about every purchase still happens. Yes, I have four guitars, yes, I need another one. Luckily she hasn’t a clue about VST synth purchases or whatever I buy on Steam!
Getting my TT was bad enough even though I only had to chuck in a few hundred quid once I’d sold the shopping trolley. “Do you NEED it” “You’re too old for it” “Think of the petrol bill”
Some of my mates do suffer ‘what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine’ though. Poor sods.
Yorkshire wallet wrote:
This happens quite a lot when she buy’s a bunch of nice bottled ales put’s them in the larder and find’s i’ve drunk the three she was looking forward to trying
All you can conclude from
All you can conclude from this sort of thing is that they’re idiots for not discussing how they manage their money before it comes to the crunch. Everyone has different ways of managing money as a couple, and no one way is better or worse than another, provided it’s been agreed on upfront.