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DEAR DOUCHEBAG BIKE THIEF.... ‘poor student’ writes to criminal who stole Giant bike

Give up now, says student to bike thief - you're on CCTV and my bike has a GPS tracker...

A student who had their bike stolen - but with the help of a GPS tracker found out where the thief lives - has posted a decidedly old school printed message to the thief telling them to return the bike or face a knock on the door from the Plod.

The victim explains how, having been a victim of bike theft before, he or she decided to put a tracker in the frame. Whats more, the letter said, the thief was caught on CCTV stealing from the station bike shelter.

The letter then gives the thief until the end of the week to return the grey Giant bike before they are visited by "our Majesty's finest."

The letter was shared to thousands on Twitter as one user captioned it: "This must have been the best feeling ever".

The letter:


Fantastic! I've grabbed your attention

Hi there! You stole my bike last night, admittedly I was kind of ticked off about this, but less so when I realised that you left your face on camera at the station. And also you may have not realised but this is not the first bike I've had stolen, so I put a tracer inside the bike frame. So unfortunately for you, I know where you live. Please dear bike thief, don't take this as a threat, I'm sure you had your reasons, I just want my bike back.

All I am asking is if you return the bike before the end of the week, that will be the end of it. If not: You'll be getting a visit by our Majesty's finest.

In case you've taken more than one bike, mine was the grey Giant.

Have a good day!

Sincerely, the poor student with no money, but a working printer


After an unpromising start, having to be bribed by her parents to learn to ride without stabilisers, Sarah became rather keener on cycling in her university years, and was eventually persuaded to upgrade to proper road cycling by the prospect of a shiny red Italian bike, which she promptly destroyed by trapping a pair of knickers in the rear derailleur. Sarah writes about about cycling every weekend on

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