“Santos Tour Down Under: Australia’s top event for climate bullshit”: Spoof ad skewers race’s “sportswashing” oil and gas sponsor; Brennan’s classics plans; Philipsen fly-by; Scottish cycling budget boost; Greatest anti-bikes rant? + more on the live blog

You may have noticed this morning that road.cc was looking a little, err, ropey. That’s because we’re experiencing some teething issues with all that site migration stuff we told you about yesterday.

Hopefully everything should be fine for the rest of the day, but please bear with us if you do experience any annoying glitches – there’s a lot going on behind the scenes!

Some credit for the sheer commitment to the bit, I suppose…

Impressively poor bit of parking, pairing up to completely block (protected!?) cycle lane and pavement. @yplac.bsky.social #yplac

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— Liam M (@liamm82.bsky.social) January 13, 2026 at 10:15 AM

Stop press! Over the years on the live blog, we’ve seen some bizarre and frankly unhinged anti-cycling rants on social media.

But this one might top the lot. Mostly because it contains almost no punctuation whatsoever – apart from the odd question mark and the rather brilliantly sarcastic placement of “cyclist” within quotation marks.

The rant in question was posted by Charlie on the Dorset Safer Roads page, in response to one of the cyclist’s regular road safety clips. And it’s quite something. Deep breath now…

Yep. I’ll save you the hassle of reading all that, but here are some of the breathless highlights: Cyclists “paying nothing” to maintain the roads, riding at 3mph in 30mph zones, “entitled knobs” going wherever they like and paying zero attention, lights, reflectors, “0 respect”, common sense, drivers paying for cyclists’ “privilege” to use the road, and the claim that cyclists shouldn’t have a say in road safety matters because… road tax, or something.

And Charlie didn’t stop there. One more time, with feeling… “Shitty little Lycra shorts”, “not fast enough to compete with 30mph traffic which makes YOU a hazard”, “get out of the way and ride on the footpaths”, cyclists “wanting to poddle” (whatever that means) “at your pathetic speeds”, and riding “where cars are supposed to be”.

That was fun. Where’s the Pulitzer board?

“A new day, another torrent of WTFery,” Dorset Safer Roads posted. “WARNING: READING THE BELOW MAY RESULT IN A 20 POINT DROP IN IQ.

“Do these people do ANY research before spilling their misguided hatred onto the internet? (don’t answer that, we know already.)”

“Someone actually took the time to type that compilation of nonsense,” noted Andy in the comments. “I took the time to read it as the level of nonsense had me gripped. I might even read it again.”

So true, it was like some mad, epic beat poetry from the 1950s. Mesmerising stuff.

“Definitely didn’t use an AI tool, the complete absence of proper punctuation of is a giveaway. Definitely didn’t take a breath either,” joked Justin.

“I’m happy/sad for you, but there’s no point in reading any further than the 3mph comment,” noted Adrian.

“What is true though is that they spent longer typing out that diatribe than they would’ve been held up by this imaginary person on a bike.”

“Just think of the time he wasted writing that… but I’ll guess that he doesn’t have any time to wait until it’s safe to overtake vulnerable road users,” added Graham.

“Maybe if he stopped writing tosh, he could leave the house earlier and get to his destination on time.” Good point.

Meanwhile, Rebecca pointed out: “Charlie’s head is going to explode when somebody tells them that 85 per cent of people who cycle also drive cars.” Oh dear, think of the piece of literature that would ensue from that revelation.

And finally, Rosemary summed the whole thing up: “I think the correct response to that is TLDR!” Yep.

There’s quite a lot to unpack in this one…

> Judge criticised for extraordinary ‘nightmare cyclists’ comments after slashing damages by 80% for Dublin rider who suffered brain injury in collision

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Monument Cycling (@monument_hq)

Cyclocross, eh? What a sport.

Wheels for Wellbeing, the inclusive cycling charity that campaigns on behalf of disabled cyclists, has welcomed the government’s decision to give councils more powers to clamp down on pavement parking by motorists.

Last week, local transport minister Lillian Greenwood announced that councils in England will be given more extensive powers to fine drivers who park on footpaths, a practice banned outright in London and Scotland.

Currently, police officers can fine motorists who cause obstruction or leave their vehicle in a dangerous spot, while council enforcement officers can only dish out penalties if the pavement parking drivers breach an on-road rule, such as double yellow lines or parking restrictions.

> How to stop pavement parking? “Install bike racks”, say active travel campaigners

The Department for Transport says the new legal powers afforded to local authorities, enabling them to issue fines to drivers causing “unnecessary obstruction” on the pavement (though what “unnecessary obstruction” entails is still unclear), will be delivered “in due course”, alongside guidance on how the rules can be enforced in a “proportionate” manner.

The announcement was criticised by some, who argue that the new powers fall short of an outright ban in England, with the Living Streets charity voicing its concern that enforcement at council level could lead to “inconsistency for communities and drivers, which increases risks for everyone using our streets”.

Nevertheless, Wheels for Wellbeing – though also acknowledging its disappointment at the lack of a full ban – welcomed the move, while calling for greater clarity on what the regulations will entail.

The charity said in a statement:

While we are disappointed that a full ban with exemptions will not be implemented across England, if implemented well, measures proposed to enable local government to restrict and enforce against pavement parking have huge potential. Strong local action against pavement obstruction would massively improve the accessibility of our communities for Disabled people, including families and older people.

We call on the government to ensure that new regulations include:

A clear, enforceable definition of “unreasonable obstruction”, co-produced with Disabled people, and that covers a full range of pavement locations and contexts.

Provision for fixed and mobile camera enforcement of obstruction and for public reporting of obstruction, comparable to existing civil parking permit enforcement and “Operation Snap” driving offence enforcement.

Provision to enforce against heavier vehicles parking on pavements even where direct physical obstruction by the vehicle does not result, to reduce long-term pavement obstruction caused by progressive damage to pavement surfaces.

> The road.cc Recommends Wheels of the Year 2025/26

It’s hardly the most surprising announcement of 2026 so far, but this afternoon Jonas Vingegaard confirmed that he will make his debut at the Giro d’Italia in May, as the Dane aims to become the first rider since Chris Froome in 2018 to complete the grand tour set.

Vingegaard, who added last year’s Vuelta a España to his two Tour de France titles from 2022 and 2023, will attempt to secure the Giro’s fabled pink jersey in Rome before turning his attention to the Tour, where he will once again attempt to defeat perennial foe Tadej Pogačar – who is, incidentally, the only rider this century to have completed the Giro-Tour double, in 2024.

Unipublic / Cxcling / Antonio Baixauli

“I have been thinking about riding the Giro for a while now,” Vingegaard said at Visma-Lease a Bike’s media day today.

“It’s one of the biggest races on the calendar, and it’s also one I have never done before. I really want to experience it, and now feels like the perfect moment. Winning the Vuelta last autumn only gives me more motivation to go all-in for victory in Italy as well. I would love to add the pink jersey to my collection.”

Giro organisers RCS will be delighted they’ve snagged a big name in the form of the Danish grand tour supremo, with UAE’s João Almeida and Red Bull’s former winner Jai Hindley the only other stand-out GC names currently down to race in Italy.

ASO/Charly Lopez

In any case, buoyed by his success at the Vuelta, Vingegaard’s Giro-Tour double attempt appears to mark a career recalibration of sorts for the 29-year-old, following Pogačar’s dominant displays at the last two Tours.

After all, a debut Giro win and a probable podium spot in Paris is better than just another Tour second place, right? (The bean counters at Visma may disagree, of course.)

As he builds towards a busy summer of grand tour racing, Vingegaard will kick off his season at the UAE Tour, before heading to the Volta a Catalunya, another major stage race still on the Dane’s ‘to-do’ list.

Worst bike rack I’ve ever used

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— Michael McLean (@mclean.bsky.social) January 12, 2026 at 9:21 PM

Have to say, I really enjoyed Michael’s complaint that “my chain only fits through the insect’s ass”. Now there’s a statement you don’t hear every day.

> Fuming politicians claim “ridiculous” new cycle lane scheme is “crackpot stuff”, but council encourages residents to “ditch the car for some shorter journeys”

Remember the weird asphalt sausages/snakes that appeared on a bike path in York last month? Well, they’re back. Yes, I know that sounds like the start of a terrible straight-to-video horror sequel.

The strange defects first appeared in December – apparently caused by filler used to plug the gaps generated by clay heave being pushed up during wet weather – with a number of cyclists reporting that they had crashed following a collision with the ‘snakes’.

City of York Council took action to remove the original bumps on the Bootham Stray path near New Earswick, but it hasn’t taken them long to return.

“The council sorted it pretty quickly but some new ones have appeared, so it seems like the snakes are breeding pretty effectively,” York Cycling Campaign’s Rob Ainsley told the BBC.

“It’s a bit like tectonic plates moving towards each other and creating the Himalayas in India. These large mounds of earth have come together and squashed up and then solidified,” he continued, noting that the phenomenon was the result of “extreme weather”.

“The techniques we’ve had keeping bike paths smooth are not working as well anymore, so unfortunately I think we’ll see some more of this kind of problem,” Rob added.

Now, if that doesn’t scream ‘horror franchise in the making’ to you, I don’t know what does.

‘Hello, is that Netflix? I have an idea I want to pitch, it’s got everything: horrifying ground snakes, climate change, and cyclists… How much are you willing to offer?’

Anyone who’s ever been on a cycling holiday knows the feeling.

You’re descending a beautiful stretch of smooth tarmac in some picturesque Spanish mountain range in glorious sunshine, hitting speeds you never thought imaginable on Britain’s bumpy, pothole-infested roads, nailing every corner, feeling like a cycling god…

And then someone much fitter and more talented comes flying past, making you feel like you’re stuck in mud.

Well, that was the sensation YouTuber and chief pro cyclist worrier Artem Shcherbyna felt yesterday as he rode down a Costa Blanca descent at 90kph – only to glance to his left and spot 10-time Tour de France stage winner Jasper Philipsen sailing by, like it was nothing.

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Artem Shcherbyna (@artem4ik19)

“90km/hour on a bike is not fast enough for Jasper Philipsen,” Artem posted on Instagram. Clearly.

At least at those kinds of speeds Artem wasn’t able to latch onto the Alpecin-Premier Tech star’s wheel for the next 30km and shout stuff about hairy legs or something equally inane.

> Don’t try this at home! Tom Pidcock’s demon descending skills showcased in latest video – but some cyclists accuse British star of setting “bad example” by overtaking car and speeding

Nevertheless, it’s safe to say Philipsen’s nonchalant high-speed descending impressed Artem’s Instagram followers, at least judging by the number of ‘mind blown’ emojis in the comments.

“I went down Rates the other day, the pros are on a completely different level,” noted Tony.

Meanwhile, Alex couldn’t resist having a dig at the man Netflix cheerfully dubbed ‘Jasper Disaster’.

“That’s weird, he didn’t cut you off the road,” he wrote. Brutal.

Jonas Vingegaard wasn’t the only Visma-Lease a Bike rider announcing his 2026 schedule this afternoon.

Matthew Brennan, one of the revelations of the 2025 season, looks set to build on the staggering success of his debut pro campaign by targeting all the big spring classics, ahead of a potential grand tour debut at the Vuelta a España.

The 20-year-old British star, who was 19 for most of 2025, won a staggering 14 times last season, with just four male riders managing more victories: Tim Merlier, Isaac Del Toro, Paul Magnier, and, of course, Tadej Pogačar.

And after a very impressive first tilt at Paris-Roubaix, where he eventually finished 44th after an assured ride among the leaders for most of the race, Brennan is gearing up for a very cobble-focused spring, including a Tour of Flanders debut, along with a first crack at Milan-Sanremo, a monument which on paper suits him down to the ground.

The Darlington man will start his season next week at the Tour Down Under, before taking on a full spring campaign, including a double Opening Weekend shift at Omloop Het Nieuwsblad and Kuurne-Brussel-Kuurne, and debuts at Milan-Sanremo, In Flanders Fields (Gent-Wevelgem to you and me), Dwars door Vlaanderen, the Tour of Flanders, and a return to Roubaix.

“Hopefully being in the front group into the velodrome in Roubaix would be cool to do,” Brennan said during Visma’s media day.

Following that packed spring, the 20-year-old will race the Tour de Suisse in June, while he’s also pencilled in for the Vuelta, what could be his debut grand tour and a dress rehearsal for the 2027 Tour de France, which starts, of course, in the UK.

“For this year to be able to target races like Sanremo, Flanders, would really be quite cool to do,” he says. “And the Vuelta at the end of the year, maybe, first grand tour. We’ll go with the intention of winning a few stages – we’ll start off with one. That’s the ambition with every stage race. And if you win a Vuelta stage, that’s fantastic.

“We have this long-term ambition of going to the Tour de France in 2027, so starting off with the Vuelta and seeing how we go. And if it’s too much, we’ll reconsider it a little bit. But I think it will be a good starting point.”

Zac Williams/SWpix.com

And speaking of the Vuelta, Wout van Aert is set to return to the Spanish grand tour since his three stage wins and knee-busting crash back in 2024. The Belgian superstar will also join Brennan at Omloop, Sanremo, Flanders, and Roubaix, while also targeting Strade Bianche and Tirreno-Adriatico.

The 31-year-old will, of course, race the Tour de France before his Vuelta rendezvous, which he hopes will serve as the perfect preparation for a tilt at a first road rainbow jersey in Montreal.

Elsewhere at Visma, former Dwars door Vlaanderen winner and Ronde top ten finisher Matteo Jorgenson will eschew the cobbled classics for a more Ardennes-focused spring, and Marianne Vos will return to Strade Bianche after missing the Tuscan classic – one of the few races missing in her palmares – last year.

Oh, and 2025 Tour and Roubaix double winner Pauline Ferrand-Prévot wants to win… every race she’s starting.

“My goal for this year is to win every race I participate in,” the French star said. So, that means Strade Bianche, Flanders, Flèche Wallonne, Liège-Bastogne-Liège, the Vuelta, and the Tour. Easy.

“It’s quite a challenge, but we all know I need a challenge,” she laughed. Now that’s an understatement.

Some welcome budget-related news this afternoon, thanks to the Scottish government’s announcement that it is boosting funding for cycling, walking, and wheeling schemes in Scotland by £37m to £226m in 2026/27 – a move Cycling UK reckons signals a “renewed approach to increasing investment in active travel” by Holyrood.

“Today’s budget is positive news for walking, wheeling and cycling in Scotland,” Cycling UK’s Scotland Advocacy Lead Scott Runciman said in a statement today.

“The rise in funding from £189m to £226m will reduce NHS costs, ease congestion, and provide people with the infrastructure to make more affordable journeys.

 “Projects that promote cycling and walking are popular because they work. When people have greater freedom to travel, high street businesses, public health and local communities thrive.

“This spending commitment clearly recognises the role active travel plays in creating healthier communities, stronger local economies and safer streets. We look forward to working with the Scottish Government to bring about these benefits.”

Now, this is how you get your point across.

Yesterday, we reported that pressure is mounting once again on the Tour Down Under, the cycling season’s annual curtain raiser, to cut its ties with Santos, the race’s long-term title sponsor – and one of Australia’s worst greenhouse gas emitting companies.

The gas and oil producer’s status as the Tour Down Under’s naming rights sponsor – a position it’s held since 2010 – has long been viewed as one of cycling’s most egregious forms of ‘greenwashing’ (which is saying something, to be honest).

Zac Williams/SWpix.com

So, unsurprisingly, it’s been the target of a series of environmental protests over the years at the Tour Down Under, a race often contested in searingly hot conditions and one that has ventured through areas decimated by devastating bushfires in 2020.

In 2023, two women in their 60s were arrested after gluing themselves to a pile of bikes on an Adelaide street before the race started, while a few days later, another group of three partly naked women, again in their 60s and 70s, were also arrested ahead of the opening stage of the women’s race for allegedly exposing themselves.

“We are baring our ageing breasts and our wobbly bums in the hope of shocking,” one protester said. “Polite pleas and submissions have not been enough.”

And this week, a number of high-profile Australian cyclists, including former national champion Brodie Chapman, joined the campaign to expunge Santos from cycling’s file of questionable sponsors.

“It’s certainly time that the Tour Down Under looks for a new sponsor to more align with the values of the modern world, the Australian people, the natural world, and athletes,” the UAE Team ADQ rider said (no doubt pleasing her oil guzzling employers).

> Pro cyclists urge Tour Down Under to drop “embarrassing” oil and gas sponsor

Anyway, this new wave of protest inspired a brilliant intervention from The Juice Media, a longstanding satirical news site.

The site, which has over a million subscribers on YouTube, has become known over the years for its ‘Honest Government Ads’, poking fun at the Aussie government’s questionable policy choices.

And their take on Santos certainly didn’t disappoint.

“The Santos Tour Down Under: speed, strength, sportswashing corporate bullshit,” the presenter, a ‘spokesperson’ for ‘Santoss’, says in the video.

“We love tossing our shitty logo all over elite sports – go Wallabies! – because it distracts from how we’re one of Australia’s climate bastards.

“Some say we don’t deserve to put our grubby name on this prestigious race. But we beg to differ. Because look at how much impact we’ve had on it – like the time this top rider withdrew after falling ill in scorching conditions. Harden up Caleb!” she continues, referring to then-Jayco-AlUla rider Caleb Ewan’s struggles with the heat in 2024.

Zac Williams/SWpix.com

“And all the time extreme heat caused cancelled stages. Or that time riders had to cycle through bush fire zones that looked like, quote, ‘the end of the world’.

“And the best part? South Australian taxpayers fund most of this event, while we get all the glory.”

Excellent. The clip then takes aim at the ‘Santossers’ propping up the oil and gas giant and its role in Australian sports, including South Australian premier Peter Malinauskas, an ardent proponent of the company’s investment in renewable energy (and gas drilling)… whose brother recently worked for, you guessed it, Santos.

Responding to this week’s campaign to boot Santos out of cycling, a spokesperson for the Tour Down Under (a real one this time) said: “Without their support, we would not be able to deliver a world-class international bike race.

“Their support has enabled our event to grow, which has seen the introduction of a women’s WorldTour race with equal prize money to the men, and the TDU being recognised as Australia’s best sporting event in 2024.”

The spokesperson, echoing Malinauskas, added that “natural gas produced by Santos plays an important part in South Australia’s world-leading investment in renewable energy, and its carbon capture and storage project at Moomba decarbonising the equivalent of 700,000 cars off our roads each year”

However, analysis suggests that the Moomba project has so far captured just 4.6 per cent of Santos’ total corporate emissions.

Santossers? I’ll leave that one to you…