Proper Cleaner by Guy Martin Starter Pack

The Proper Cleaner by Guy Martin Starter Pack is described as the workhorse of his range, suitable for cleaning bicycles, motorcycles, "or owt else with wheels (or tracks) on". Apparently kind to all surfaces, it actually works pretty well on most kinds of generic grot. It's better than some iconic pink blends, and on par with several others I've reviewed recently.

• Pros: Simple to use, seemingly kind to composites and generally effective
• Cons: Pricey compared with concentrates

Rather than supplying a ready-made bottle of product, the kit comprises a 750ml trigger spray bottle and two sealed sachets of grot-busting lime green elixir. The argument being that 70 per cent of the world is water, so why ship it?

> Buy this online here

Produced and packed here in the UK, each capsule produces 750ml of product and two-pack replenishments can be bought for £5. Unopened, these have a three-year shelf-life, so no worries if you've been stock-piling for the apocalypse.

Chemically speaking, I can tell you this brew is alkaline-based, contains no solvents, hasn't been tested on animals, and is 100 per cent biodegradable. We're also assured it's safe on all surfaces, including carbon composites and rubberised components. With that in mind, use your common sense: avoid contact with eyes, store away from curious pets/small children, and minimise exposure to skin.

Method

Fill the bottle to the lines prescribed, drop in a sachet and reaffix the trigger spray. I used recently boiled water, which accelerated the mixing process slightly, but cold or luke-warm tap-water works just fine. Give the bottle a quick shake and leave to settle for 30 seconds.

Proper Cleaner is designed to work with a wet surface, so give recipient machines a cold-water rinse before you start blasting.

In common with some very effective favourites, it's a moderately bubbly blend with a slightly sugary, pineapple odour. Leave bikes marinating for 2-3 minutes, depending on the filth factor.

Good things come to those who wait...

I wasn't surprised to discover dung, mud and similar organic muck slithering away at the first hint of a soggy car sponge, but I was quite impressed at how quickly a congealed mess of spent diesel, PTFE-based maintenance spray and Finish Line Cross Country Wet Lube dissolved with nominal effort (there's no risk of this dilute product stripping welcome, drivetrain lubricant – unless you give it a good scrub). However, it wasn't noticeably better than Crankalicious Pineapple Express Spray Wash or M16 Extreme Bike Clean.

Removing similar ingrained detritus from embossed bar tapes and saddle covers required more intense persuasion with a stiff bristled brush and warm water. Nonetheless, I had my fixed gear winter trainer and four seasons rough stuff tourer gleaming within 30 minutes, the latter having done some seriously mucky miles before braving the 'Beast from the East'.

Extending waiting times hasn't resulted in unsightly streaking (which can be a problem with Muc-Off Nano-Tech Fast Action Bike Cleaner).

Results seem universally good on powder coated, stove enamel, two pack paints, plated and anodised surfaces. However, matt finishes, regardless of paint type, are trickier customers and benefited from post-wash 'polishes' to restore that effect. Some titanium components also benefited from a quick buff.

Conclusion

Bike washes seem to polarise people into love/hate camps. As generic pump-spray cleaners go, Guy Martin's Proper Cleaner does what it says on the tin, to a decent standard, and is pitched at the going rate price-wise.

However, a concentrate such as Fenwick's FS1, which I have used for several years in different strengths to suit purpose, will produce up to 10 litres of wash at roughly £1 a time. I tend to brew a few batches of wash and leave the remainder neat, for stripping duties.

Whichever way you cut and dice it, the Proper Cleaner is still four times the price, and certainly no better.

Verdict

Effective cleaner but pricey compared with some concentrates