[cycle.london]

So I sked for ‘inspiration’ back in December or something.  Since then, I can’t have cycled into London more than three or four times.   I’m putting on weight and getting more and more down.

I know that this sedentary lifestyle is killing me.  I just don’t care.

(and no .. please don’t go ‘alerting the authorties’ or whatnot. I have no intention whatsoever of ‘doing something silly’)

How in the name of hell am I supposed to get out of this rut?

Topic

[ktache]

I do hope that the improving

I do hope that the improving weather and warmth are helping a bit.  It’s making me itchy to get out and ride.

[brooksby]

cycle.london wrote:

brooksby wrote:

How are you doing, cycle.london?  Has anything improved/changed?

Very much appreciate you asking, mate.  Nothing different.   Well, I’ve lost a bit of weight, and am now at 18 stone 10, which for a 6’3″ bloke, still puts me into the ‘obese’ BMI. 

But the other half and I have decided to do a Europe tour in June.  We’re going to get a ferry to Dunkirk and then cycle to Bruges.   Four nights there, cycle home. 

Hopefully, that’ll inspire me to get off my lazy arse.

Based on what you’ve told us and what I’ve read here, I don’t think anyone thinks you’re being lazy…  Not sure if that helps.

[cycle.london]

brooksby wrote:

How are you doing, cycle.london?  Has anything improved/changed?

Very much appreciate you asking, mate.  Nothing different.   Well, I’ve lost a bit of weight, and am now at 18 stone 10, which for a 6’3″ bloke, still puts me into the ‘obese’ BMI. 

But the other half and I have decided to do a Europe tour in June.  We’re going to get a ferry to Dunkirk and then cycle to Bruges.   Four nights there, cycle home. 

Hopefully, that’ll inspire me to get off my lazy arse.

[brooksby]

How are you doing, cycle

How are you doing, cycle.london?  Has anything improved/changed?

[matthewn5]

My suggestion to the OP is to

My suggestion to the OP is to commute on the bike. When I first started 10 years ago, a mate said ‘now just make sure you do it every day’. That was the best advice ever: It’s really never too cold, I arrive at work flushed and warm and ready to go, and flog the bike on the way home as a workout. Just make it a habit, you’ll be fine with a waterproof jacket, mudguards and overshoes, warm as toast by the time you get to work, whatever the weather. I look forward to my ride in and my ride home. You’ll pile on the miles over the year compared to the Sunday warriors too.

Rick_Rude wrote:

As has been mentioned, doctors first. Get them to run a ‘full’ blood test and you may find an answer you didn’t expect. Mine was an underactive thyroid, it started with my mood first but took my immune system down for a bit as well. I went through  a period of getting hit with everything but after a year or so I’m back to normal so of.  Plenty of things feed into mood though.

Don’t be afraid to try different doctors as some are utterly useless.

Late last year I was diagnosed – by a new, young GP – with adrenal insufficiency. Other GPs had missed it for years. It means your body doesn’t produce enough cortisol, which leaves you flat as a pancake and lacking the energy to even think of doing anything, let alone doing anything. I was needing 2 coffees and 4 cups of tea to get through a day at work and then flat on the sofa most evenings and weekends. Hopeless. If I ever got ill – flu or something – I was ending up in hospital overnight. Shocking.

To cut a long story short, they found a problem, prescribed a treatment, and I’ve been  of beans since and feel a decade younger. I’ve done all the bike maintenance jobs I’d put off, replaced dodgy bearings, sorted out my bike spares, cleaned the chain, the transmission, adjusted the gears and the brakes so the commuter feels like a new bike.

So: see a doctor, and make cycling a habit. Yes, you can work from home, but it’s more fun at the office.

 

[madcarew]

Legs_Eleven_Worcester wrote:

At this point, I’d be heading to see my GP and asking to be referred to whatever mental health authority is competent in your borough.

There is NO shame to this.  

I very rarely agree with Legs_Eleven, but in this case I do. 

He has given you good advice. Please take it.

As you probably already know, it’s not a golden or even silver bullet. But it starts you off in a good direction.

Best wishes.

Paul.

[Simon E]

cycle.london wrote:

Simon E wrote:

Is it really so important to earn that much money?

Yeah.  Cos life is shit and pointless and absurd.

The only thing that matters is my wife, the cats and travel. 

My wife will stick around whether I’m rich or poor.  As long as I don’t screw around or raise my hand to her, I don’t think she’ll leave me.   So that leaves the cats and travel. The former, I can pay for on a relatively small wage, but if we’re going to do the big tours on bikes we want, that requires wonga.  Oh, and mortgage. And takeouts from Pizzahut. And Nando’s.  And so on.  🙂

So you will tolerate your current seemingly miserable situation to get those brief windows of light relief? Eek, I couldn’t vote for a life like that! I’d not want to spend most of my days waiting for those escapes, knowing that they will be over all too soon.

I have always had low paid jobs because I never wanted a career or what many people call being ‘successful’. Yet all of my jobs have been satisfying, regardless of the pay (mostly crap), though I’d not turn down more time off! Still, different strokes…

check12 wrote:

best advice I got was to not add things that make you happy, but first to remove things that make you unhappy.

Excellent advice. I’ve tweaked it slightly to emphasise the importance of addressing the negative side of life; sometimes the pursuit of happiness is like striving for some unobtainable goal (depending on your definition).

[HoarseMann]

This is not the best time of
This is not the best time of year to get enthused about cycling. It’s been a throroughly drab winter down south. Your handful of rides into work matches my recent strava activity!

Rather than cycling into work, why not get an adult scooter or skateboard and combine with the train (have a look at Decathlon)? Could get out at lunchtime for some fresh air and a bit of excercise, without having the faff of all the cycling kit.

If working from home, make sure you get out for a walk at lunch. Listen to a podcast or audiobook. Something like https://drchatterjee.com/the-stress-solution/

or find your ikigai https://medium.com/thrive-global/ikigai-the-japanese-secret-to-a-long-and-happy-life-might-just-help-you-live-a-more-fulfilling-9871d01992b7

If the doctor prescribes you some head meds, be aware it can take a while to find the one that works for you. I’ve had to try four different ones before settling on sertraline (and the branded version at that, as the generic caused problems).

As for the Dunwich Dynamo, just do it, it’s good to have a goal. Any riding you do beforehand is a bonus – it’ll be an adventure whether you race there with the fast riders or bail out half-way after a few pub stops!

[check12]

Rick_Rude wrote:

Happiness is an odd thing. My mate earns £100k a year, buys whatever he wants, goes on holiday where he pleases and he’s a miserable twat most of the time and says I have better life than him because I have a wife and child.

On the flip side I earn less than average wage and am always hitting the calcuator before I spend money and think he’s got the life of Riley. But then again I guess his emptiness is probably related to being single and childless and maybe the fact that there’s no challenge for anything unless he started to want Ferraris or something daft. Other than expensive cars he can just buy what he wants at the drop of a hat. When he bought a mountain bike, I’d be hitting ebay for used stuff but he can just walk into any Evans and just walk away with a bike. 

 

 

best advice I got was to not add things that make you happy, but first to remove things that don’t make you happy. 

[Rick_Rude]

Happiness is an odd thing. My

Happiness is an odd thing. My mate earns £100k a year, buys whatever he wants, goes on holiday where he pleases and he’s a miserable twat most of the time and says I have better life than him because I have a wife and child.

On the flip side I earn less than average wage and am always hitting the calcuator before I spend money and think he’s got the life of Riley. But then again I guess his emptiness is probably related to being single and childless and maybe the fact that there’s no challenge for anything unless he started to want Ferraris or something daft. Other than expensive cars he can just buy what he wants at the drop of a hat. When he bought a mountain bike, I’d be hitting ebay for used stuff but he can just walk into any Evans and just walk away with a bike. 

 

[Anthony.C]

It sounds like you have a

It sounds like you have a pretty good life.   

[cycle.london]

Simon E wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

Personally, no – I do not want to be doing the job I’m doing, but I get paid a shedload of wonga to do what I do.  

If I could go back to being twenty, and have absolutely any job I wanted, what would I do?

I’d possibly be flying a Tornado across Northern England.

Or a doctor.

But hey.. too late now.   And nothing I could possibly do would bring in the same amount of dosh, even if I were able to change career. 

Is it really so important to earn that much money?

Yeah.  Cos life is shit and pointless and absurd.

The only thing that matters is my wife, the cats and travel. 

My wife will stick around whether I’m rich or poor.  As long as I don’t screw around or raise my hand to her, I don’t think she’ll leave me.   So that leaves the cats and travel. The former, I can pay for on a relatively small wage, but if we’re going to do the big tours on bikes we want, that requires wonga.  Oh, and mortgage. And takeouts from Pizzahut. And Nando’s.  And so on.  🙂

[Simon E]

cycle.london wrote:

Personally, no – I do not want to be doing the job I’m doing, but I get paid a shedload of wonga to do what I do.  

If I could go back to being twenty, and have absolutely any job I wanted, what would I do?

I’d possibly be flying a Tornado across Northern England.

Or a doctor.

But hey.. too late now.   And nothing I could possibly do would bring in the same amount of dosh, even if I were able to change career. 

Is it really so important to earn that much money?

You don’t want to do it and, from what you’ve written, it doesn’t appear to be making you happy / contented / satisfied with your life.

It might seem a bit late for changing careers to something that pays big bucks (though that’s not necessarily the case) but if you close your mind to the possibility then it definitely won’t happen. Could you do a similar job for a different organisation or use your skills and knowledge in another field?

Or have a complete change and do something totally different. It’s never too late for that. Try thinking outside the box. I suspect there are far more people have found satisfaction from giving up a ‘rat race’ or high flyer / big earner type career and downsizing etc than switched the other way.

[cycle.london]

Simon E wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My wife is in love with her fucking work.  She works in the NHS.  The only time we argue is actually because of that.  I’ll get a text saying, just leaving, can you pick me up off the whatever train?

So I pop in the shower, feed the cats, get ready to jump in the car, when another text arrives saying sorry, I won’t make that train.

Why not?

I bumped into [whomever] in the corridor

So?  You’ve already done ten fucking hours, say to them that you’ll see them tomorrow

I can’t do that, she says.

Why the fuck not? I ask.

Try looking at it from her PoV.

There are so many people who would dearly wish they could say that they enjoy their work!

Whether that devotion to work is good for her home life or your relationship is another matter but it won’t help to be resentful. My wife is a residential support worker for people with mental health issues who require assisted living. She loves her work. It fills a need in her life and that is extremely important to her sense of wellbeing. She’s making a real difference to people’s lives (who’ve had pretty shit lives in the past). If she is asked to do an extra shift, go in early or stay late because a colleague is ill etc I don’t mind, as long as she is happy to do it.

Perhaps ask your wife to text you when she is actually leaving work.

It’s important that you discuss how you both feel. Be open and honest, try not to apportion blame but really think carefully about each other’s needs and how you can find a good compromise. The lack of real dialogue between you about this (and perhaps other things) is may well be contributing to your current state of mind.

As for you own job, ask yourself is it really what you want to do? Do you want to work for this company and with a boss that (from what you’ve written) seems disinterested himself? While it’s disruptive and stressful, perhaps a change of job could help. Or even just taking a step back and looking at what you like and don’t like about your job then weighing it all up.

Oh, I get where she’s coming from.   She saves lives.  I make people rich(er).

Personally, no – I do not want to be doing the job I’m doing, but I get paid a shedload of wonga to do what I do.  

If I could go back to being twenty, and have absolutely any job I wanted, what would I do?

I’d possibly be flying a Tornado across Northern England.

Or a doctor.

But hey.. too late now.   And nothing I could possibly do would bring in the same amount of dosh, even if I were able to change career. 

[Simon E]

cycle.london wrote:

cycle.london wrote:

My wife is in love with her fucking work.  She works in the NHS.  The only time we argue is actually because of that.  I’ll get a text saying, just leaving, can you pick me up off the whatever train?

So I pop in the shower, feed the cats, get ready to jump in the car, when another text arrives saying sorry, I won’t make that train.

Why not?

I bumped into [whomever] in the corridor

So?  You’ve already done ten fucking hours, say to them that you’ll see them tomorrow

I can’t do that, she says.

Why the fuck not? I ask.

Try looking at it from her PoV.

There are so many people who would dearly wish they could say that they enjoy their work!

Whether that devotion to work is good for her home life or your relationship is another matter but it won’t help to be resentful. My wife is a residential support worker for people with mental health issues who require assisted living. She loves her work. It fills a need in her life and that is extremely important to her sense of wellbeing. She’s making a real difference to people’s lives (who’ve had pretty shit lives in the past). If she is asked to do an extra shift, go in early or stay late because a colleague is ill etc I don’t mind, as long as she is happy to do it.

Perhaps ask your wife to text you when she is actually leaving work.

It’s important that you discuss how you both feel. Be open and honest, try not to apportion blame but really think carefully about each other’s needs and how you can find a good compromise. The lack of real dialogue between you about this (and perhaps other things) is may well be contributing to your current state of mind.

As for you own job, ask yourself is it really what you want to do? Do you want to work for this company and with a boss that (from what you’ve written) seems disinterested himself? While it’s disruptive and stressful, perhaps a change of job could help. Or even just taking a step back and looking at what you like and don’t like about your job then weighing it all up.

[Author]

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