We love cycling. No, we really love cycling, and we like to dwell on the positive whenever possible. But sometimes, just sometimes, it can be – what’s the word? – challenging.
Here are 18 things that we reckon every cyclist hates. Do you agree?
1 Clicking down a gear, only to find out you’re already in the lowest gear
That’s bad. Really bad.
2 Thinking you’re at the top of the hill, then discovering you aren’t
What, there’s more? How much more? Oh no!
3 The bonk
Blowing up, the hunger knock, hitting the wall… When you’re out of energy, it feels like the end of the world.
4 Creaks and squeaks
Is it the headset? The bottom bracket? The saddle rails? Your knees?
You can sometimes go around the whole bike systematically eliminating each individual component as the source of a mysterious noise until there are none left. And it still bloody creaks.
5 Red traffic lights
They’re especially bad if they’re at the bottom of a hill. All that momentum gone in a flash. Grrr!
6 Cold fingers
Still, it’s not as bad as the feeling of cold fingers coming back to life. That’s pure evil.
7 Punctures
It goes without saying, really.
8 You attack as hard as you can, check over your shoulder to see how much of a gap you have… and they’re still on your wheel
Bollocks.
9 Forgetting you’re clipped in until it’s too late
Don’t even try to make out it didn’t hurt. You’re fooling no one.
10 Your light goes out
You knew you should have recharged it, didn’t you?
11 It starts to rain the moment you put your kit on
You had nice weather all morning too. Also, while we’re at it: needing to use the toilet as soon as you put your bibs on.
12 Putting on wet kit for your commute home
It rained on the way into work this morning and the seatpad is still soggy. Urgh!
13 Unacknowledged waves
You wave or nod at a cyclist coming the other way and they don’t do it back. Rude!
14 Tyre sidewall splitting
The first you feel is a strange knocking coming from either the fork or the chainstays. If you’re really unlucky, within a few seconds you’ll hear a sound like a gunshot. That’s the inner tube exploding. Now you’re in trouble.
15 Getting dropped
From beginner to World Champion, it hurts just the same.
16 Running out of drink
This usually happens when you’re in the back of beyond, rarely when there’s a service station just around the corner.
17 The turbo
A lot of us do it, but only as a means to an end. You put up with the short-term pain for the long-term fitness gains. But you know there are some lunatics who actually enjoy it?
18 Getting caught in the rain
This usually happens just after you’ve cleaned your bike, when you’re wearing a white jersey, or on the day you forgot your waterproof. Or all three.
Over to you. What did we miss? Don’t hold back now!
140 thoughts on “18 things that cyclists hate — duff rides you should try and avoid”
Seem to be missing cars
Seem to be missing cars driven by twats.
Yorkshire wallet wrote:
Indeed, a lot of the stuff listed irritates me but I don’t hate, I hate tw@ts that can kill another human being :-/
Finding the cafe closed…
Finding the cafe closed…
Grahamd wrote:
Finding the Cafe open but they’ve run out of cake!
Closed cycle route. With no
Closed cycle route. With no detour signs or advice.
ktache wrote:
Scottish Borders Council are great at this – and being a spectacularly sparsely populated area, the diversions are often 15+ miles extra with plenty of hills as well… The party of Danish cyclotourists I encountered when SBC closed NCN1 loved their diversion (only 9 miles and 300ft of ascent from where I intercepted them rather than having a 7 mile double back and 9mi/300ft)
ktache wrote:
“Cyclists dismount”
ktache wrote:
Or as today, detour on the cycle path with only one sign saying where to leave but nothing saying where to rejoin. Leading to a 20 minute safari around the urban jungle.
ktache wrote:
The other day I took a wrong turn on an unfamiliar estate and found myself in a amaze of twisty little passages, all alike. So I switched on the satnav … isn’t that what everyone does?
Squeaky chain
Squeaky chain
Rear derailleur needs indexing
Washing a wet lubed chain
Slow strava times in winter
Dog walkers with no leads or extendable leads
Broken spokes when you are setup tubeless
Rubbing disc brakes
Rubbing disc brakes
Disc brakes that yowl in the
Disc brakes that yowl in the rain.
Nr 5 – Red lights at bottom
Nr 5 – Red lights at bottom of hill, I used to commute via Muswell Hill in London with lights at the bottom of a cracking hill, it was a real skill to read the timings from the top by how many cars were waiting where to ensure rocketing though at full speed. Now here, one of my routes that used to be great has a set of lightshalfway down, that seem to have a bike sensor that goes red when you’re exactly at the point it’s too late to dash through, but not so far back that you can do anything other than brake HARD !
Nr 18 also usually occurs (if you don’t havewaterproofs with you, as when you left it was perfectly blue skies and no forecast even of clouds) at the furthers point possible from home, and normally exactly havfway between the only 2 bridges on the route there is to shelter under.
StuInNorway wrote:
Been there, done that. used to commute Wathamstow to Brent Cross and Muswell Hill heading home was FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN until the lights changed as you neared the bottom… Where I am now, they recently installed new traffic lights halfway down the 2 best hills we have here…
Half wheelers!
Half wheelers!
Car drivers that are idiots
But, the list of good stuff is far longer!
Water running down the road
Water running down the road towards you.
goats
goats
Factious list articles.
Factious list articles.
Traffic lights all on red
Traffic lights all on red when you’re flying, traffic lights all on green when you’re knackered!
First ride on a new bike and
First ride on a new bike and inevitably it rains and makes the bike dirty.
Contraflows – usually uphill
Contraflows – usually uphill – when it’s impossible to get through while the lights are green.
Headwinds on long flat roads
Headwinds on long flat roads
Old recycled articles on
Old recycled articles on cycling websites.
hawkinspeter wrote:
Old recycled comments on recycled articles.
You’ve all got it wrong, ride
You’ve all got it wrong, ride the turbo/rollerers and you don’t suffer any of the above. I only go out on the road to keep fit for the turbo.
Two things:
Two things:
1. You’ve checked the weather, the sky is blue (or at least it doesn’t look like it’s going to rain and you’ve even checked the forecast on 3 weather apps and they all show no rain). You put your kit on, make the bike ready, looking forward to a nice ride. As soon as you open the door it’s raining!
2. Pedestrians/joggers/dog walkers on bike lanes – they have no awareness of bikes and so make dangerous moves from left to right/right to left. They wouldn’t do this on a street with cars!
(3. I really hate punctures, they interrupt my ride and I have to do irritating work to mend them. I perceive them as a very personal insult, a mental attack).
(3.a. The new bike pump takes 2000 strokes to pump the bloody tube to 2 bars)
(4. Being overtaken and not being able to follow the wheel of the ‘idiot’. Another insult and mental attack!)
(5. Really upsetting when the bike computer stops working mid-ride, the navigation doesn’t work (that was only a problem until I sold my Garmin Edge 1000!!!) or you forget to start the device from the beginning of your ride!)
(6. Car drivers berating you (honking the horn, pointing fingers, giving you the fist etc ) for not using the bike lane even when there is plenty of space on the road. Taking the road is often necessary due to poorly maintained tarmac/potholes on the bike lanes or you ride during ‘dog-walking hours’) so they are packed with pedestrians and joggers listening to loud music)
(7. Your phone starts ringing during a pleasant ride. Or you see the notification on your bike computer that your wife/kids are calling, sms’ing or your boss sends an e-mail. You don’t want to stop and worry the for the rest of your ride: was that something important?)
(8. It a hot summers day – the water in your second bidon is now very warm and impossible to drink and you are very thirsty)
(9. Having to clean a very dirty bike after getting caught in heavy rain)
People riding bikes on shared
People riding bikes on shared use paths/cycle lanes without lights, dressed in black. Usually on full-sus BSOs with the saddle way too low.
kil0ran wrote:
yeah that always stick to the right too!!!!!!
Black ice
Black ice
(as discovered by the missus this morning coming back from the school run) /ouch
kil0ran wrote:
Me too, mine was navigating the chicane around the office car park barrier. Nothing damaged but pride. Security guards have it on CCTV.
It was my second “off” this week – I have some minor road rash from an argument with Manchester’s tram lines on tuesday morning.
Yep, I prefer to go out in
Yep, I prefer to go out in the crappiest weather than ride my bluddy trainer
“18 things that cyclists hate
“18 things that cyclists hate” – just to be clear, here, but are we talking about Real Proper Cyclists or just about people who use bicycles to get about in their daily life?
brooksby wrote:
we are all cyclists… and most of the time ,people who use bicycles to get about in their daily life are the real proper cyclists…
All true except
All true except
17. I kind of enjoy turbo now due to Zwift
18. Kind of feels epic when its on the way home and you are on a good day
1. Valbrona
1. Valbrona
Crappy English road surfaces.
Crappy English road surfaces. Have me howling with rage on frequent occasions, particularly seeing as I do pay ROAD TAX on three cars…
PRSboy wrote:
yep, particularly when it’s an amazing route or road, ruined by its horrendous condition! Makes me very sad / angry
PRSboy wrote:
yep, particularly when it’s an amazing route or road, ruined by its horrendous condition! Makes me very sad / angry
PRSboy wrote:
yep, particularly when it’s an amazing route or road, ruined by its horrendous condition! Makes me very sad / angry
“8. You attack as hard as you
“8. You attack as hard as you can, check over your shoulder to see how much of a gap you have… and they’re still on your wheel”
Never, ever look back, also don’t “attack” just make it seem like your natural pace and that everything is a serene pootle even if inside you are absolutely on the limit. Looking back makes it look like you’re trying which is a no-no. Wait for a bend in the road or a turn to have a peripheral look, do not move that head even slightly.
in any case if somone comes past you, so what, in fact I expect to be passed every time I’m out.
I do find it hilarious though when someone clearly trying comes past (and say nowt) only to drop about 20-30 metres in front and not get any further ahead, I’ve even eased off sometimes because I was catching them back up with no extra effort so I didn’t want to seem like I was actually trying to do so, I just can’t be arsed.
Drink too warm, either man the fuck up and simply drink it or prepare in advance, freeze one of your bottle/drinks and by time you’re needing it as the second bottle it’ll be defrosted to a cold drink,if it’s hot enough to make your drinks warm.
I often just take a fiver out for a pint in the pub when I’m about 7 miles from home on a w/e ride, don’t even take the house key sometimes, not bothered about taking a phone either and hardly bother with a computer anymore.
Not stressing about how fast/not fast you’re going and just letting your body do the talking is how I prefer it, sure I’ll check the data after the event if pop the GPS logger on but I’m really not that fussed for those type of rides anymore. Just use a computer for my utility bikes so I know timings for appointments/how far I’ve got to go to a specific destination.
I don’t even hate punctures, haven’t had one for a while so if one comes up I consider it a blessing because then I generally know it’ll be a fair while til my next one and not having to think about it for a while.
BehindTheBikesheds wrote:
Excellent post !
One that everybody has missed
One that everybody has missed so far:
BonerFide wrote:
Except manually adding the distance onto Strava…
BonerFide wrote:
Auto Pause is your friend
BonerFide wrote:
only stop when you’ve finished for the day, and use strava’s cropping feature.
That feeling you get when
That feeling you get when you notice that the car overtaking you is indicating left
Curry on a Saturday evening
Curry on a Saturday evening
mingmong wrote:
Anything spicy on a Saturday evening..
Families walking four abreast
Families walking four abreast with a dog on a long lead on cycleways.
michophull wrote:
On your left…PLEASE!
You cycle past someone, and
You cycle past someone, and then you hear the frantic gear change behind you. Before you know it, their racing you.
Please…after you.
The rider you’ve been chasing
Trying out a new cafe, and
Trying out a new cafe, and receiving a meagre portion of beans on toast.
Ah 6. The pain of defrosting
Ah 6. The pain of defrosting fingers is the absolute worst!
I used to feel sick and dizzy as they warmed up after a frosty commute
700c wrote:
After stupidly wearing a pair of 3/4 bibs on a boxing day ten, during which the temperature took a severe turn for the worse, I once had the fun of having to thaw both feet, ankles and shins from complete numbness. Definitely some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.
People who have to put
People who have to put everything on Strava
Get dressed and trussed for a
Get dressed and trussed for a winter ride, get the bike out ready to ride then get took short and dash for the loo phoo! Shit, that was close!
Roadworks
Roadworks
Waiting on a guy in your group who gets 5 punctures in a row…
You’ve been optimistic about
You’ve been optimistic about the temperature, your kit is not adequate, 45 mn later when already far away you know you will be completely frozen.
You have a puncture, repair,
You have a puncture, repair, resume your ride annnnd then 200 meters later you puncture again ! you forgot to inspect the tyre …
Snot expulsion clearance
Snot expulsion clearance failure
mingmong wrote:
Ho Ho. I can certainly identify with that !
Nearly half of those peaves
Nearly half of those peaves can be fixed by riding to power:
There’s more hill, i’d still be doing 300watts if it were downhill.
There’s a traffic light, opportunity to lower heart rate (doesn’t matter what’s next)
Running out of gears, lower cadence stick to power or get out of the saddle for a bit.
Other people drop you? they don’t exist anyway, it’s you vs you.
You get to the darkest part
You get to the darkest part of the commute home, flick your light to full power … and discover that it already is.
Closed road – ignore it you
Closed road – ignore it you can always get through. They are never closed for pedestrians.
# 1 – Crashing, especially the broken bones/broken bike variety
# 2 – Verbal abuse, dodging thrown missiles and physical assault
# 3 – Inconsiderate drivers
# 4 – Punctures
# 5 – Mechanicals
# 6 – Big repair bills
# 7 – Being stranded with major break down
# 8 – The feeling that you are riding into a headwind no matter which direction you are riding
# 9 – Constant traffic light stops
#10 – Pot holes
#11 – Heavy roads
#12 – Being caught out in atrocius weather
#13 – The hunger knock
#14 – Headwinds
#15 – Pedestrians who cross the road but don’t bother looking
#16 – Cramps, especially the ones that wake you in the middle of the night!
#17 – Cyclists who give cycling a bad name
#18 – Having your Strava time annihilated despite riding eyeballs out
#19 – Finding out your pro hero is a dope fiend
#20 – Missing out on my daily fix………My bike ride
Getting caught in the rain:
Getting caught in the rain: Well, maybe sometimes a light shower towards the end of a longish ride in some serious summer heat and humidity, such as we get in the Ohio River Valley.
1. Creaks and squeaks. After
1. Creaks and squeaks. After eliminating all other possibilities, discovered it was the harness in my helmet.
2. Dogs on extendable leads are NOT under effective control of the owner.
3. Being followed on Strava by your boss. Should I post the afternoon ride when I left early?
Being overtaken on a wet road
Being overtaken on a wet road by a cyclist with no mudguards.
Being overtaken on a wet road (or even being passed going the other way) by a tuck – all that luvverly spray!
Exits from building sites – road all covered in mud.
The surface of the Stratford Greenway when its not properly dry!
Being close-passed by fast roadies
Something that does slightly
Something that does slightly get my goat: all these people at sportives pushing their bikes to/from the car park/wherever, when it would be quicker and easier to ride. I mean… why?
littlegermanboy wrote:
it’s cooler like this:
Cold feet and toes.
Cold feet and toes.
Road resurfacing and the
Road resurfacing and the loose chippings sign
“4 Creaks and squeaks
“4 Creaks and squeaks
Is it the headset? The bottom bracket? The saddle rails? Your knees?
You can sometimes go around the whole bike systematically eliminating each individual component as the source of a mysterious noise until there are none left. And it still bloody creaks.”
Doing all the above and finding all I had to do was to re-tighten the friggin’ rear QR! Arrggghh!
19. Meeting someone for a
19. Meeting someone for a ride:
“Sorry mate, can’t meet at 8.00 now, can we do 9:30?”
So you turn up at their house…
“Sorry mate, just got the bike out, got a flat tyre…”
Then, puncture repaired using your tyre levers, tube and c02, you set off…
“Sorry mate, I’ve got to be home by 10…”
– Getting to work and
– Getting to work and realising you’ve forgotten your work clothes.
– The worst one for me was misjudging the forecast and the wind gets strong enough to close the tay bridge central walkway, meaning the commute home turns from a 20 mile ride into a 60 mile detour, and you only have a 500ml bottle and no food/money. That’s not fun 🙁
No. 17!!
No. 17!!
How cold is it in that conservatory??? Why does anyone need toe covers on a turbo?
Be it in a cafe, shop or
Be it in a cafe, shop or having to momentarily get off the bike to navigate a pedestrian footbridge, and realising I have an erection.
Fucking embarrassing !
There is no fun riding with a
There is no fun riding with a racist ride leader on a club ride who only knows 3 ride routes.
Setting off on the work
Setting off on the work commute and thinking “wow I am really flying today” only to realise after 2miles that I have left my backpack on the kitchen table.
Traffic lights on a hill,
Traffic lights on a hill, when I’m on my single speed. Yeah, I just love hill starting that bad boy.
When the weather is really
When the weather is really crap and you turn out for the weekly club ride hoping that nobody else bothers to turn up. And then some other stupid bastard does turn up and then you have to go for a cycle ride instead of sloping off back to bed or a few hours of computer gaming in the warm.
Forgetting to press start on
Forgetting to press start on your garmin.. plus numbers; 1,4,6,8,10,13 & 16.. was last weeks ride for me!
Narrow uphill contraflows
Narrow uphill contraflows
You spot a rider a few
You spot a rider a few hundred metres ahead. You ride hard and start to catch up. Just before you get to him, so you can overtake and say ‘Morning’, he turns off onto a side road.
Strava….. for anything
Strava….. for anything other than finding you when you’ve crashed out alone on the road or trail and don’t show up for dinner : )
A lot of that stuff that some
A lot of that stuff that some of you listed and was on the list that started the article is stuff that shouldn’t be happening on a ride if your pre and post checking your bike, stuff like sidewall separation, squeeking chain, improperly indexed derailleur, etc should have been taken care of before your next ride by discovering it sooner. Another issue mentioned was preparing for your ride properly, not enough water? really? I always take more than I need, but that’s because I ride without a map and if I get lost well I might need extra water, And if I have all the water I can carry but the likely hood of running out exists then I also, and always, carry cash in case I need to buy water and/or food. Rain? there is always the weather information available either on your computer or phone, but granted depending on where you live it could rain unexpectedly, but those types of rain are usually fast and done in 5 minutes so it’s no big deal. As far as buying something like a pump that takes 2000 (exaggeration I’m sure) strokes? well that sort of thing should have been checked out on the internet first before you bought such a piece of crap. Not knowing how to fix a flat…well that’s on you!
So really the only 3 things I really hate is:
1) It’s raining or snowing and now I have to ride the trainer which I hate so much I usually just don’t bother riding on it!
2) The other thing I really hate is something called rolling coal, this is when a diesel pickup goes by you and the moron driving floors it and throws a switch engulfing you in a black cloud of choking exhaust.
3) The only other thing I hate is fellow cyclists riding their bikes with no regard to safety, rules and laws of the road, giving all us law abidding riders a bad rap to motorists who disrepect all of us because of those actions…by more then a few riders.
Sometimes I run into a person that has a flat and either was trying to be extra lightweight and didn’t pack anything to fix a flat with (duh) or simply doesn’t know how (another duh), doesn’t really bother me to stop and lend a hand. In the process of lending a hand I teach them how to do it and what to buy so they can be more prepared next time, in fact I show them my entire contents of my seat bag and explain why I carry it and what it can be used for, and tell them which stuff is very important to carry and which stuff is optional so they can make up their own minds if they think the optional stuff is important to them or not.
Numb nuts
Numb nuts
Half-wheeling
Half-wheeling
Old threads just popping up
Old threads just popping up in the ‘What’s hot’ section.
Organon wrote:
People commenting on that they hate old threads popping up on the what’s hot section so that the thread keeps popping up on the what’s hot section 🙂
CygnusX1 wrote:
Couldn’t agree more.
Some people just don’t know when to leave it.
Mungecrundle wrote:
Old threads just popping up in the ‘What’s hot’ section.
— Mungecrundle People commenting on that they hate old threads popping up on the what’s hot section so that the thread keeps popping up on the what’s hot section 🙂— CygnusX1 Couldn’t agree more. Some people just don’t know when to leave it.— Organon
^ This
hawkinspeter wrote:
Also, having your area downgraded from Covid Tier 3 to Covid Tier 2, but realising that one of your favourite cycling route crosses into South Glos which stays in Tier 3.
(Thought I’d put something Covid related for historical interest in a few years time when this thread pops up again)
Stay away from Gloucs except
Stay away from Gloucs except for essential banjo repairs.
hawkinspeter wrote:
When you’ve slavishly followed all the Covid restrictions and then find out that the people that made the rules were just ignoring them, holding parties and then lying to parliament about it, but then Russia invades Ukraine and the Tories are too worried to find a replacement for Boris who hasn’t also been breaking the rules. (April 2022)
hawkinspeter wrote:
And when the government further tries to distract from the situation by promoting an inhuman plan to deport traumatised asylum seekers to a county which a few months ago the same government was criticising for human rights abuses. At an eye watering cost as inflation and the cost of living spiral out of control.
Yeah – can’t believe Priti
Yeah – can’t believe Priti didn’t suggest sending them to the Donbass? We get on well with Ukraine and it’s a stable democratic country. Or Turkmenistan – they’re keen on the rule of law there.
I don’t understand this lot in Parliament. Can’t they just do what normally happens in a domestic crisis and start demonising foreigners and then get embroiled in a war a long way away?
stomec wrote:
I’m pretty sure that’s illegal too
when you head out on a winter
when you head out on a winter ride, fully kitted up in thermal bib tights, top base layer, etc and outer jacket and as soon as you get your arse on the seat you realize you forgot your chamois
(this only occurs if your tights aren’t padded, of course)
WEAR PADDED TIGHTS PEOPLE
When you try to seize the
When you try to seize the means of production, but then spot a bike shop selling cheap bike parts.
Headwind
Headwind
Red traffic light while going uphill
Disc brakes on road bikes is
Disc brakes on road bikes is the number 1 for me. Why ruin the sleek lines of a road bike with that overpriced, overweight and totally unecessary nonsense – I will be glad when the fad is over.
yupiteru wrote:
I feel exactly the same way about cassettes, chainrings and pedals. It all started going down hill with the velocipede. Anyway, I don’t have time for this, I’m off to smash some power looms.
wow. Nothing can be said that
wow. Nothing can be said that hasn’t been said before, unless you’re purposefully shuttering your ears to innovation. Granted I am replying half a year later on a Covid recycled article, but still worth replying to. I urge you to test ride a modern, sleek disc brake road bike and re-evaluate.
I don’t think it’s a fad sir.
I don’t think it’s a fad sir.
Disc brakes on road bikes is
[quote=yupiteru]
Disc brakes on road bikes is the number 1 for me. Why ruin the sleek lines of a road bike with that overpriced, overweight and totally unecessary nonsense – I will be glad when the fad is over.
I feel the same way, but nothing to with ruining the lines. I like to keep things simple in case anything goes wrong during a long ride.
I’ll bite. How does having
I’ll bite. How does having discs change the simplicity of a ride? Unless you are in the habit of taking spare pads and inner wires with you, there is literally no difference in what you take on a ride and therefore no difference in “simplicity”.
When all the CDs have run out
When all the CDs have run out, you’ll be making bird scarers out of old, unwanted road brake discs, and Park will assemble them into a novelty pizza cutter – the edges are sharp enough by all accounts.
Joking apart, on the plus side the stopping power is better with discs, subject to tyre traction, and both systems can lock up a wheel. I guess your rims never wear out ( so no excuses for new hoops). The relative cons are: slightly more weight, expense, and mechanical complexity, especially if you go the hydraulic route.
yupiteru wrote:
Well, mainly because they’re just . . . better. I disagree that they’re unnecessary, having scared myself silly descending off the Col des Glieres (8km of hairpins at 13%) on carbon rims in the wet. I disagree that they spoil the sleek lines of a road bike – rim brakes clogging up the forks and seat-stays do so to a greater extent whereas discs are relatively hidden on the wheels. I completely agree that disc brakes and everything associated with them are ridiculously over-priced though. In summary, you can keep your rim brakes, I’ll keep my disc brakes and we agree to disagree.
Disc brakes on road bikes is
Disc brakes on road bikes is the number 1 for me.. I will be glad when the fad is over
This, from a year ago, must be a comment and prediction on a par with ‘I can’t see this coronavirus nonsense causing us much trouble’. Road discs are the greatest thing since unsliced bread. It’s only worth going to a reasonable amount of effort to live in the past.
Isn’t this one of the biggest
Isn’t this one of the biggest issues in road cycling? The ‘tradition’ that because Bartoli, Coppi, Merckx, etc used them, so they’re good enough for ‘us’ in 2020?
Lightweight frames, disc brakes, electronic groupsets, decent warm & waterproof clothes – are all progress.
Reynolds steel frame, rim
Reynolds steel frame, rim brakes, down tube shifters, brake cables like the rigging on Cutty Sark – a typical me set-up: it makes me wonder how I get about.
cycling along at just the
cycling along at just the right speed – only to see someone ahead going just a little bit slower
which means that I have to either
a) catch up with them and then accelerate to a faster speed than I want to go in order to not creep past them at an embarrassingly slow relative speed – leaving me exposed in the middle of the road while I pass them and then having them right on my tail – then having to keep up the faster speed – which is faster than I want – for an extended time so that it doesn;t look like I speeded up just to pass them – all the while praying they don;t speed up as well
or
b) slowing down to their speed but then having to go slower than I want and worrying that I look like a stalker or weirdo – especially if it mostly women in front (I am a 59 year old overweight bald bloke)
I suppose there is a possibility that I over think these things
miekwidnes wrote:
Catch up to them and hang off their wheel for a short time whilst you catch your breath and figure out how much quicker you think you are than them. Then, either overtake them at your top speed and aim to lose them off your wheel (you can’t let them catch you up a couple of miles down the road or else you lose) or you can cheerily offer them your rear wheel and a respite from the wind (also known as taking your turn in front) and go at your desired speed and maybe exchange some pleasantries with them.
Your PRIVATES going numb on
Your PRIVATES going numb on the saddle and then the feeling coming back.
Slipping of the clip in pedal and crashing your Nuts on the toptube.
Wanting a pee badly, but your in the middle of a built up area and there is a Police Car behind you.
Getting a bloody wasp stuck in your helmet and – even in your sleeve of your top hanging in the garage so it stings your armpit several times as you put it on and cant get it off quick enough.
Thinking that you can cycle through a ford – and then finding out you cant and riding home soaking wet and smelly.
Your PRIVATES going numb on
[quote=Vlad the Impailer]
Your PRIVATES going numb on the saddle and then the feeling coming
Adjust your saddle now! It doesn’t have to be like like this!
Battling to work against a
Battling to work against a 30mph headwind, only to discover on the way home that it has done a complete 180.
Bruised palms on flat bars
Bruised palms on flat bars (even with ergo grips).
Riding with cap before realizing memory failed to grab helmet.
Headaches on rest day
Really fast riders who aren’t
Really fast riders who aren’t on Strava, so you can’t check them out on flyby later on to make sure they do much more training than you do. Just rude.. 😉
Rubber hoods on shifters when you are doing any sort of cockpit maintenance and need to roll them back without ripping them and without them getting in the way and making you round a hex bolt.
Doing an all-out effort on an uphill Strava segment only to find that you stopped 2 meters before the end point, which is stupidly just in front of the white line at the junction..
Non-cyclists asking you why you like cycling so much and spend so much time doing it, thus forcing you to explain the inexplicable with pretentious cliches.
Becoming hypothermic on a ride with friends because they are quite slow and your clothing choices were made assuming your usual pace. Then your friends thinking you’re in a huff because they are slow, when in fact it’s just that your face is frozen and you can’t speak properly.
neeb wrote:
It’s not the training that’s important, it is seeing how far they have ridden. Clearly it is the fact that they are on a short trip rather than being 10 miles in to a 15 mile commute or mid way through a century that means that are faster, not that they are fitter.
Buying the latest kit that
Buying the latest kit that promises the world, then realising it’s just the same as five or six other similar items you own.
How about the git that
How about the git that accelerates past you and then quickly dismounts.
Fuckwits weaving along the
Fuckwits weaving along the road in front of you whilst wearing headphones: They should be banned for joggers, walkers and cyclists.
A weekend of rain followed by a lovely Monday, which then turns to shit at 4.55pm, just as you’re about to leave work.
Bus drivers who try to kill you before telling you to get on the cycle path.
Having to avoid dickheads who try to drive whilst staring at the phone in their lap, then mouth obscenities to you for berating them.
Getting dropped by my fitness freak cycling buddy in the middle of nowhere every time we go out, even though we are on a social ride, because he ‘has’ to throw in another training session. That’s why I prefer to ride on my own.
‘Serious’ cyclists giving me a bad name by cycling through red lights.
Why does the replacement tube I put in always go down in really shitty weather, even though I have checked the tyre numerous times and found nothing.
The weather ‘experts’ constantly getting the weather completely wrong.
Post 2012 Olympics modern cyclists not saying hello.
And what is it with those ridiculous 3 mile long leads which stretch across the cycle path, when you can’t even see the dog, it’s so far away?
Being bollocked by drivers who complain that my lights are too bright and shouldn’t be on during the daytime. It’s for your benefit dickheads, so that you don’t knock me off and claim not’to have seen me’
Being knocked off or nearly taken out by drivers who claim ‘not to have seen me’. What they really mean is they weren’t paying attention.
I feel better now. Much better. Until tomorrow morning when I cycle to work and the madness starts again.
biker phil wrote:
Taking a brand new tube out of the wrapping only to find that it won’t pump up (looking at you Halfords!)
Getting all your kit on only
Getting all your kit on only to then realise you need a piss.
The chain coming off near the
The chain coming off near the top of a steep hill and having to get back in cleats at the steepest point ?
Getting a puncture just
Getting a puncture just before the start of a climb having already done 50 or 60 miles. Several minutes reparing/replacing the tube and the legs just scream at you when you get back on. The climb ahead just got steeper and you know it is gonna hurt.
Snapping a hanger before
Snapping a hanger before starting a climb and lunching your derailleur arms in the chainstay.
Luckily you aren’t far from your parents house but you have to drive their car because they aren’t driving and your wife is working from home and can’t leave to get you. You drive home wearing lycra and no shoes and get a bit of sweat rash where you don’t want one because you left the lycra on too long. People also look at you very oddly at the petrol station.
Once home you find everywhere is out of parts and then wait nearly 2 weeks for new derailleur. Luckily you have a mtb but that’s horrible to ride on road but you don’t want to burden the NHS but smashing yourself up on a trail so do it anyway.
Accidentally pausing or
Accidentally pausing or deleting a ride before you have uploaded it to Strava.
Zombie features on Road.cc
Zombie features on Road.cc that weren’t all that the first time around.
The whole lockdown thing (Dec 20)
and having to check all the
and having to check all the comments in case you made the same comment previously…..
And it still bloody creaks.
And it still bloody creaks.
I had this on my Merlin. Paul Hewitt suggested it could be the band-on front mech. This made no sense at all, but copper grease inside the band solved it! On the Vitus gravel it turned out to be the 12 mm through axle/ rear drop out combination.
Hello, readers of the future,
Hello, readers of the future, if indeed any of you survive The Plague. Dec 2020 here – we’re still babbling on about disc brakes, some people still think Ebikes are cheating, and Tao G-H won the Giro this year and only got a two-second mention on SPoTY for his pains.
I’ll add
– Something on the bike feeling draggy, but you can’t work out what: it’s not the gears or brakes, the bottom bracket is fine
– Being just about to go out for a ride on the ebike and realising you forgot to charge the battery
jollygoodvelo wrote:
It’s generally me.
My “like” didn’t seem to be
My “like” didn’t seem to be enough, Thank you for the message to the future readers
I hate it that when you have
I hate it that when you have ridden 60 miles to your next touring stop, the place you are staying is always up a steep hill, especially the case in Wales. Try Snowdon to Conway Youth Hostel, or even worse Holyhead to the hostel at Rowen. Now there are very few people who would be able to ride that hill. We walked it, and then slipped on the 1 in 4 section. 600 ft in less than a mile to get to 823ft from sea level. There was a good view and we had brought some beer to enjoy while looking out over it. Worse than the Bealach na Bà, and I’ve done both on a touring bike with luggage, though both involved some walking. At least on the Bealach you go back down to sea level.
Traffic lights not turning
Traffic lights not turning green for you because the sensors in the road haven’t registered your presence due to you having a carbon frame and carbon wheels.
Temporary traffic lights on a steep hill, going uphill, when you have to stop. You know there is a couple of hundred metres before you clear the roadworks, normally with a queue of impatient drivers behind you and the oncoming traffic on a green light.
4 Creaks and squeaks
4 Creaks and squeaks
Is it the headset? The bottom bracket? The saddle rails? Your knees?
No – it was a smart-alec bird that managed to chirp exactly in time with my crank rotations, as a slogged up a steep hill