A farmer in Yorkshire who found a naked cyclist defecating in his field says that riders tackling the route of the Tour de France should ensure they use proper toilets and not the countryside.
According to the Westmoreland Gazzette, when the farmer confronted the cyclist, who had stripped off his Lycra clothing prior to going about his business, the man promised to come back and clean up his mess, but has failed to do so.
The newspaper says that details of the incident, which happened in Wensleydale, were first revealed on Facebook by the farmer’s wife, who said:
This morning we watched a man on a cycle race come into our field, strip completely naked and use our field as a toilet. Leaving the evidence together with the paper!
Kids thought funny and can't wait to tell everyone at school tomorrow. My husband didn't find it quite as funny as it is in a field he is about to silage.
My husband went and spoke to the bloke and apparently he is coming back later to clean it up. We are very excited about the race but can the people using the route not spoil it and please find REAL toilets. Rant over.
The farmer subsequently said that he had seen something unusual in the field and used binoculars to get a better look.
"There was a man naked after taking his one-piece Lycra suit off squatting down and doing his business,” he recalled.
"I went down and had a word with him. First of all he denied it but I thought: 'You cheeky sod – we've just seen you'.
"He said he was going to come back and clean it up. I took a photo of him – he'd got dressed by then – and told him that I'll pass it to the police and let them sort it out if he doesn't come back.
"I think the chance of him coming back is pretty slim though," he added.
The farmer revealed that to add insult to injury, the spot the cyclist had chosen for his makeshift latrine was the very one from where he and his family planned to watch the Tour de France pass by. He said they would now find another vantage point.
It’s not the first toilet-themed controversy we’ve covered this year. In April, UK Cycling Events, which organises the Wiggle New Forest Spring Sportive and other events in the national park, said it would ban 18 riders from its events for breaking rules including urinating by the roadside rather than in the portable toilets it provides.
The previous month, five junior cyclists participating in a race in Belgium received fines for urinating on the Menin Gate in Ypres, a memorial to British, Irish and Commonwealth casualties of World War One.

44 thoughts on “Cyclist’s naked toilet stop in field drives Yorkshire farmer potty”
well that’s a little less
well that’s a little less silage required in that area of the field.
Scoob_84 wrote:well that’s a
Silage is hay or some such moist fodder for cattle they store for winter.
I think you’re confusing it with slurry. You don’t feed cows poo.
Dapper Giles wrote:Scoob_84
Thanks for clearing that up. Cows shouldn’t be eating poo :&
Some people just don’t get
Some people just don’t get it. Obviously not a New Forest rider or road.cc user.
He was lucky he wasn’t shot for ‘scaring the sheep’.
Hang on… “together with the
Hang on… “together with the paper”!
You mean he planned ahead for this little accident? 👿
I see an unfulfilled market
I see an unfulfilled market for bungs … preferably carbon for the serious cyclist.
Maybe he was called Ted and
Maybe he was called Ted and was just trying to sort out the drainage in the lower field? 😕
That’s effing disgusting – he
That’s effing disgusting – he should do what surfers do and soil his skinsuit.
timfearn wrote:That’s effing
Or carry a ziplock bag, especially if he took time to carry bog roll
When I go hill walking and end up staying out overnight I carry a zip lock bag with me and carry the stuff off the hills with me as you are meant to do. There are some popular routes around the country that have human waste left and it’s totally gross.
Of course the easiest solution is to have a dump before you leave for your ride.
giff77 wrote:timfearn
Just in case anyone now has a mental image of someone trying to poo into a sandwich bag, you can buy specific odour resistant and erm… absorbent bags for the purpose.
They tend to be popular with festival goers, which is easy to understand if you’ve ever seen the bogs at Glastonbury.
giff77 wrote:timfearn
Yep, not always possible to avoid having to take a dump but it isn’t that hard to be prepared as I was always taught in the scouts. He could’ve gone behind a bush and saved the farmer an unfortunate sight too. Farmer Giles has every right to be annoyed in this case.
I have made contact to see if
I have made contact to see if we can acquire the picture to shame the cyclist into an apology 🙂
Haven’t done Glastonbury. But
Haven’t done Glastonbury. But some of my memories of other festival bogs were that of a plank of wood with a hole cut into it suspended above a huge pit lined with industrial tarp. :& :& :& Slurry tanks were brought in to drain the offending mixture.
giff77 wrote:Haven’t done
Glastonbury’s Long Drops are truly a sight to behold. Huge pits filled with everything. Drugs, phones, keys, passports, money. You’re not getting it back once its landed down there.
farrell wrote:giff77
That’s nothing, try using an old and not very long drop in a developing country where you can see the rat holes all around the entrance and when you look down, there’s Mr Ratty twitching his shit covered whiskers.
OldRidgeback wrote:That’s
Oh, I appreciate fully that there are far, far, worse facilities to use, however I doubt in a developing country you got to witness the utterly absurd image of Mr Ratty crawling over a shining white iPhone (or even some whining shite’s iPhone) amongst all the jobby. It’s more the juxtaposition of all the items that people nowadays hold so very dear like phones cash, drugs etc in a huge pit of effluent.
Go on, what had he dropped/lost?
giff77 wrote:Haven’t done
A mate of mine fell in them at Glastonbury one year!
WE WANT TO SEE THE PICTURE
WE WANT TO SEE THE PICTURE
As any parent knows, IT IS
As any parent knows, IT IS ONLY POO. If you’ve never had another person’s poo on or near you, you’re either childless, or going to the wrong parties.
Nobody ever had the squits cycling? You’re not trying hard enough/eating enough gels.
I wrecked myself dashing around Ireland. On the fourth day I had spasms as though the Four Horsemen were upon me. It was enter Dublin to greet my wife covered in squits or find a bushel. So I found a bushel. And some nice wipey leaves.
Matt Stephens has got caught out too. Poo is the great leveller. Ask The Queen (don’t).
http://www.vulpine.cc/Blog/bikes-tech/matts-musings-1
Nature can catch us unawares. Especially if you’re pushing Nature’s limits. Its a little unfair (actually its bullying) to try and uncover the identity of someone who is probably (and rightly so) mortified. Keith, be nice, use your time for good, not evil.
Though my argument is somewhat undermind by the presence of toilet paper…….. Maybe he has ‘issues’. :&
Farmer objects to human
Farmer objects to human pooing in field that he has either set aside for animals to poo in or that he is going to dump loads of chemicals in at some point to increase yield?
Farmers = custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum.
Some Fella wrote:Farmer
It’s a silage field! You know, winter feed for livestock. It ain’t going to have animals in it, neither is it going to have loads of chemicals put on it to increase yield. Silage is basically a mixture of green hay and molasses. #o
Anyway how would you like it if I came round and laid a curly-wurly in your garden. Think about it. 😕
He’s lucky. Most of the farmers round where I grew up carried two ‘special’ shotgun cartridges. They had the shot replaced by rock salt. Didn’t do any long term harm but it stung like a b**t**d! :”(
Some Fella wrote:Farmer
Silage is cut grass that’s then fermented to use as winter feed for cattle or sheep – nobody wants the animals we go on to eat consuming human excrement. It can contain all kinds of pathogens that we absolutely don’t want in the food chain, like tapeworms and antibiotic resistant bacteria. So the farmer has every right to be peeved.
Plus Yorkshire isn’t really a big TB area so your views on the badger cull are irrelevant here.
I’d just like to point out
I’d just like to point out that not all badgers vote Tory.
Some Fella wrote:Farmer
Those ‘custodians of the countryside and fucking hypocritical Tory badger killing scum’ grow the food you eat.
Unless of course you grow all your own produce yourself.
Some Fella wrote:Farmer
Fairly sure they kill leftie badgers too.
workhard wrote:Fairly sure
One of the first drafts of Woodie Guthrie’s guitar sticker?
Lot’s of points of concern,
Lot’s of points of concern, lady farmer’s description of ‘race’ could be sportive or anything? and whilst not condoning , it is a fact that many Councils are closing public toilets and in the dales there are big gaps between settlements where one might find anything open?
To be fair to the rider, I’m
To be fair to the rider, I’m going to assume that he didn’t go out with the intention of crapping in a field. Most of us would rather use a proper loo if one is available and I’m sure that this guy is no different, even if he does prefer to bring his own choice of clean-up materials.
I’ve been forced to take a couple of wild poos in my time and I can say with some certainty that it’s a last resort. Cycling is one of those activities where you can find yourself a long way from a real toilet. I hadn’t heard of the bags designed for the purpose before now. Maybe worth considering, although the prospect of carrying ‘leavings’ in my jersey pocket alongside my food makes me a little uncomforatable.
edit: I’ve just had a look online at these bags and it looks like they would not be practical for cyclists due to the way they work. They appear to use a powder that expands into a gelly when wet and I honestly think that a used one would be too big to carry in a jersey pocket. They look like they might be a useful thing to have on-board for touring though.
Matt eaton wrote:To be fair
Maybe once done, you could dangle the bag from the handlebars in full view until you find a bin?! :&
There’s so many crap jokes
There’s so many crap jokes here they write themselves.
I have always been suspicious
I have always been suspicious of blokes in skin suits.
I’m still bemused at the
I’m still bemused at the paper though!
If you must, use the bag you keep your phone in and throw it in the next bin.
Always go before you leave…..it less weight to lug around!
Or one of these ? http://road.cc/content/review/121010-cycloc-loop
Take a dump before you set
Take a dump before you set off, and if in any “doubt” take a dump at the first toilet you come across. Having a crap in a farmer fieldis just not on. What sort of impression does it make for the rest of us?
I’d mad as hell if I was the farmer, it’s just not on. Making a promise to clean, then buggering off and leaving it says everything you need to know about this character.
TDF in Yorkshire should leave a good impression, thus sort of thing totally undermines the organisers hard work X(
Just a quick question to all
Just a quick question to all those who think this is highly amusing.
If someone took a dump on your drive/front garden/doorstep would you be happy about it?
If it is not acceptable on your properties, why is it acceptable on somebody else’s?
freespirit1 wrote:Just a
Well it seem perfectly acceptable to allow doggy to crap all over my front garden and leave it. Or to leave bags on hanging in trees or the new one around my place is to leave the bag on top of other people’s wheelie bins, not inside but on top. Maybe this is just an extension of that “I’m all right Jack, sod the rest of you” mentality?
this incident happened near
this incident happened near leyburn and was in my local press. people may have either sympathy for the rider or antipathy for the farmer but this is my local patch and there is a local contingent of moaners here complaining about the tour coming: road closures, road repair priorities being directed to the race route, school closures on the friday before the race, and groups of cyclists tearing through their villages riding the route so people doing what this man did on private land, in the open, and not in a particularly remote area where there aren’t cafes and pubs to stop (this is yorkshire, not alaska) does not help those of us who live and ride here all year round in our relationship with our neighbours, not does it do much for the image of the tour itself
TAM’S MUCKLE TURD.
Intae the
TAM’S MUCKLE TURD.
Intae the wids amongst the trees.
Tam bared his erse, his cheeks to ease.
Nae sinner hud his breeks gan doon.
Than shitty flees were swarming roon.
Intae the wind he bared his baws
And from his erse a big keech faws.
The reek it curled amoungst the trees.
‘twis enough tae make the birdies sneeze.
An’ a’ the bees on bended knees,
Got sick a fricht o’ Tams big erse.
Big Tam wis in awfy pain.
It came oot his erse like a nine pund wean.
Thur wis a tear faw fi’ his eee
For a bigger shite you’d never see.
Big Tams erse wis raw an sair.
Says big Tam I’ll shite nae mair.
Yonder it lay amoungst the grit.
A dirty stinkin’ muckle shit.
Yonder it lat si saft, si fresh.
Nae een, nae teeth, nae brains, nae flesh.
I swear it never drew a breath.
Tams Muckle Turd.
It was OK for the nation’s
It was OK for the nation’s darling Paula Radcliffe to curl one off on live TV, what’s wrong with a chap trying to do one in private?
If you spend your time
If you spend your time outside then at some point you’re likely to need to take a shit outside. The first rule in this situation is BE DISCREET!!! The secong rule is make sure you have something to wipe with. The third rule is BE DISCREET!!!
What a plonker.
And that goes for Paula Radcliffe as well.
Whether you’ve been before
Whether you’ve been before you go out or not, the urge can come on quickly and then you’ve no choice. Public conveniences are not that easy to find in the middle of nowhere. I’ve had to go in many a bush over the years.
Couldn’t agree more.
Couldn’t agree more.
Especially as I recently spent a very unpleasant 15 minutes or so clearing dog shit from my mother in laws front garden.
I was tempted to put up a sign offering to go around the owners houses and taking a dump on their sofas. I came to the conclusion that the dog owners probably wouldn’t notice.
I take it that the farmer
I take it that the farmer (like all good farmers) cleans the shite off the roads after his tractors and animals have made a mess of them.
How far was the offending
How far was the offending turd from the nearest public convenience. Perhaps the phantom crapper was trying his best to reach them but couldn’t hold it in and in his haste the field was the lesser of two evils.
I always carry tissues…
I always carry tissues…