[David9694]

A new catch-all Tea Shop thread for those miscellaneous new stories that don’t quite fit with parking, crashing into buildings or trapped/prisoners in their homes. 

Topic

[Jogle]

Edinburgh to be first
[b]Edinburgh to be first Scottish city to ban pavement parking[/b]

They may take our pavement parking, but they’ll never take our freedom!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-67381938

[David9694]

Court report 

Court report 

Watch the dramatic moment man drives military truck into police cars

He struck several vehicles with his truck, threatened police officers with a chainsaw and caused hundreds of thousands of pounds of damage

https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/uk-world-news/watch-dramatic-moment-man-drives-8898990
 

[David9694]

Watton pensioner assaulted

Watton pensioner assaulted man in row over parked Cadillac

Simmonds, a retired international motor trade consultant, admitted he had sworn and got angry during a “heated argument” but denied trying to drag Mr Eden out of the taxi. 

He told the court: “I told him to be quiet because I’m talking to the organ grinder, not the monkey. I don’t know if that is politically correct or not, but it was in my day.” 

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/23913704.watton-pensioner-assaulted-man-row-parked-cadillac/

sounds delightful. 

[Jogle]

‘Southampton waging war on
[b]’Southampton waging war on motorists’ – letter[/b]

It’s a war I tells you! And all a money making exercise! Yes, definitely a money making exercise.

No to 20 limits, apart from outside schools. And no to bus lanes, even if they’re outside schools (which the one that she complains about is).

https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/23912928.southampton-waging-war-motorists—letter/

[David9694]

Please may we have nice

Please may we have nice things? 

No, you may not. 

https://www.lincolnshirelive.co.uk/news/local-news/controversial-plans-pedestrianise-sleaford-marketplace-8894378

[David9694]

Warning over common speeding

Warning over common speeding myth as many of us break limits

https://www.kentlive.news/news/uk-world-news/warning-over-common-speeding-myth-8877357

The data showed that across all vehicle types, the highest percentage of speeding vehicles occurs on 20mph roads. Stats showed that 49% of cars were exceeding the limit by 5mph or more, with 19% exceeding it by 10mph or more. Recently, Wales announced that the default speed limit is now 20mph in most areas that were previously 30mph.

In 30mph zones, cars have been shown to still exceed the speed limit, with 50% being caught speeding in 2022. A total of 17% exceeded the speed limit by between 5mph and 9mph.

 

Tell me again about that pavement / RLJ cyclist you claim to have seen. 

[Tom_77]

Viz isn’t as funny as it used

Viz isn’t as funny as it used to be, but there are a couple of good strips this month. Roger Mellie goes on a Speed Awareness Course and in The Male Online the local council introduces a ULEZ.

[Jogle]

Polish city concretes around
[b]Polish city concretes around parked car after owner fails to remove it[/b]

Polish city concretes around parked car after owner fails to remove it

[David9694]

Video still – really can’t

Video still – really can’t park there, mate 

[David9694]

The evidence is clear: low

The evidence is clear: low-emission zones like London’s Ulez work

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/may/05/pollutionwatch-debunking-myths-low-emission-zones-health-air-pollution

An alien view

His next 30 Earth hour science shift yawned in front of him Zog12 signed in to the scanner equipment.  Hovering effortlessly at 500 miles above one of the Earth land masses (North America, this one was called), the craft followed the planet’s rotation so the specified area could be monitored for signs of life. The previous incumbent, Nog72, had left him a small digested gift to which he applied his sensory organs for a moment and was gratified by this act of comradely honour and generosity.  

There was also a sensory message to say that a suspected fault with one of the scanner arrays had been reported to Maintenance. As the scanning system homed-in on the superior species’s whereabouts and activities, Zog thought about the discussions they had had about the life forms that had evolved here. 

Planetary exploration, they had found, was best tackled by ascertaining the dominant species and studying how its individuals communicated. They applied the norms of their own planet: the dominant animal species could always be recognised as all other species would avoid them and would move away if they encountered each other. 

On this continent, although not the most numerous, the dominant species had been identified on this basis. It seemed, so far as they could tell, to have a limited verbal communication outside of and even within its own community.  This made them an interesting species and a likely candidate for contact – managing communication and fear being the two critical success factors. 

Zog might be able finish this shift earlier if he could confirm a hunch he had.  He tuned-out from the creatures’ heat signatures; the prominence of warm-blooded creatures had meant a great deal of recalibration, and tuned onto the subtle, elusive sensor signatures of the forest floor.  Eight of hours of scanning across five work periods and it was clear where these creatures mainly lived – the tree covered areas. Where they live is where they mostly communicate – right? It would another ten work periods to begin to build the picture. 

The numerous humans, seemingly the most intelligent species on this continent, wore clothes and used a sanitary system that removed and broke down their gifts and messages as they were produced. This practice was impossible to understand or explain. It was as though the humans wished to remove every trace because it was repellent to them and had no value.  He held out a particularly pungent piece his girlfriend Zega21 had secreted for him that night. 

Back to the planetary study, they had proven time and again that the humans invariably ran away from the bears, so together with their unexplained behaviour, only their sheer numbers kept the humans anywhere in the scientific frame. It was also evident that the humans would panic if contacted, but the bears, since they were so fearless, and at this stage we had the shared building blocks of two-way communication, would not. 

The only question remaining for Zog to prove was whether bears crapped in the woods.

[David9694]

Call for hundreds of ‘illegal

Call for hundreds of ‘illegal’ speed cameras to be removed

“At Road Angel we believe speed cameras serve a useful purpose in encouraging motorists to drive safely but our view is that cameras should be working.” Perplexing, isn’t it, drivers are always telling us that speed cameras are nothing but a cash cow. 

this is your precedent?  “Back in 2018 entrepreneur Shed Simove was banned from selling a dummy speed camera by police who warned him that he could face seven years in jail if one of his devices distracted a motorist and led to an accident. Now the safety campaigners from Road Angel are calling on police forces to remove inactive cameras.”

https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/call-hundreds-illegal-speed-cameras-8886432

[David9694]

so Mark don’t do anything

so Mark don’t do anything drastic like put a note about this on your main website, but I see on your Facebook that there is another access to your parking, it’s just a bit narrow. I’m sure you’d be the first to complain if you had no electricity.  Nice of you to suggest your clients use the 45 place Chandlers Ford station car park. 

“Many of our members are elderly and need the car park as they have mobility issues, yet the roadworks appeared with no warning and are now likely to disrupt more of our events – this week and at the weekend.” 

“Some of our members parked in nearby car parks and are now expecting parking fines – we could have minimised this risk if Southern Electrics had worked with us to minimise the impact of the roadworks.”

“We had trouble with the lorry for our delivery and the delivery men were running up and down the road with pallets of beer – this again could have been sorted if we had prior notice of the works.” Imagine. 

Let’s hope it’s clear by 17 November when it’s Rhythm City a professional, highly energetic, 5-piece party band whose number one intention is to get everyone up and dancing. Our live shows will take you on a journey from the sixties right through to the current day, catering for all ages and tastes. Lead by our two singers, you can expect spectacular vocals, animated performances and will undoubtedly join us on the dance floor to party the night away. 

https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/23895627.chandlers-ford-car-park-blocked-works-two-weeks/

[David9694]

London’s low emission zones

London’s low emission zones have improved air quality, study suggests

The introduction of low emission zones has also led to a reduction in hospital admissions for respiratory conditions, researchers say.

Script for Scooby Doo episode 

Fred: now let’s see who’s been terrorising the Vatican City (removes rubber Pope mask)

All: Archbishop Welby!

Welby: Curses! And I’d have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you pesky meddling kids 

Fred : Officer, here’s your man 

Pope : Now I can be myself again!

Daphne : you sure can, Your holiness 

Shaggy : but what I don’t understand is how he did it 

Fred : (flashback cutaway) when the real pope was preparing the communion wine, Welby switched the chalices and gave the Pope a sleeping draught. Then all he has to do was say mass and everyone was fooled. 

Shaggy : but Scooby smelt something was off 

Scooby: yeah yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah

Fred : and that made the Swiss Guards suspicious, but we needed proof…

Thelma : which I got when I overheard Welby saying that opinions were divided about transubstantiation

Daphne : for a little while there, the Pope wasn’t Catholic – your holiness it’s great to have you back

Pope: it’s great to be back, and I owe it all to you – and Scooby Doo

Everyone : dissolves into laughter as Welby is led away by the officer

https://news.sky.com/story/londons-low-emission-zones-have-improved-air-quality-study-suggests-12998637

[Jogle]

‘Deranged’: Government blocks
[b]’Deranged’: Government blocks data centre build next to M25 – in case it ruins the green belt[/b]

Is this case like the ones where a bike storage shed the size of a car is a blight on a neighborhood but cars themselves are not? People unable to see that cars and the infrastructure to support them spoil the view

‘Deranged’: Government blocks data centre build next to M25 – in case it ruins the green belt

[David9694]

Another one for the “wait til

Another one for the “wait til you hear about cars” folder 

Reading Buses accused of hypocrisy over diesel use

Reading Buses has been rolling out its open top bus, unofficially known as ‘Fernanda’, periodically throughout the summer. 

But when Reading Buses tweeted that ‘Fernanda’ would be serving the 17 route recently, the bus company was accused of being hypocritical by Reading community campaigner Nick Fudge.

Mr Fudge said: “Reading Borough Council have declared ‘a climate emergency’ and Reading town centre air is some of the worst polluted in the UK so just wondering why Reading Buses are rolling out a ‘diesel fuel’ vehicle across town?

“It all seems a little bit hypocritical & greenwashing to me.”

Imogen Green10th August 1:21 pm
User ID: 1731331
Tory-boy Fudge should examine his own ‘carbon footprint’ before attempting his criticism of Reading busses fleet. It is his own Prime Minister who uses tax payers money to hire private jets and helicopters for the shorter of journeys.

https://www.readingchronicle.co.uk/news/23712406.reading-buses-accused-hypocrisy-diesel-use/

[Author]

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