Gloucestershire Live has reported an allegation that a man on a bike pooed in his own hands and threw it at the windscreen of a driver who beeped at him.
The claim, made anonymously on the Spotted Gloucester Facebook page, reads: “To the man who poo’d in his hands and lobbed it at my windscreen because i beeped at him down london road that is vile and disgusting i beeped and pulled over because you were riding your cycle scarily”
The person who posted the message fails to expand on why they found the person’s cycling so terrifying.
Nor they give any explanation for their willingness to stop and wait for this spirited dirty protest to play out before them. (We presume there was a moment before faeces hit windscreen when it had already become clear that something was happening that might possibly not qualify as a family-friendly spectator sport.)
The ensuing Facebook comments oddly fail to attribute such behaviour to all cyclists, and road tax, helmets and cycle lanes don’t even get a mention. Make of that what you will.
One user claimed: “This scumbag threw poo at me Aswell” – a conclusion that was seemingly based solely on the offender’s modus operandi, ruling out the possibility that an organised gang could be responsible for a whole spate of attacks.
The police are not believed to have been contacted over the incident.

30 thoughts on “Man reported to have thrown his own excrement at car after being beeped for cycling “scarily””
Release the inner chimp!
Release the inner chimp!
I hope he changed his bar
I hope he changed his bar tape when he got home.
This story is crap.
This story is crap.
Scraping the bottom now…..
Scraping the bottom now…..
TBF it is one of the oft
TBF it is one of the oft-cited consequences of being alarmed. If the driver was equally ‘scared’ he’d have had a supply of his own and fought fire with fire (well, shit with shit).
https://youtu.be/gM8vOcxatsI?t=18s
Gross but funny as hell.
Gross but funny as hell.
how is this even news? don’t
how is this even news? don’t we all do this on the morning commute?
Peoples facebook posts are
Peoples facebook posts are news now?
Just consider the logistics of this even for a nanosecond I’d hope people would conclude that this never happened.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Bikeshit!!!
Bikeshit!!!
In a civilised society, poo
In a civilised society, poo should be “flung”, or possibly “hurled” if a degree of anger is intended. It should never be simply thrown.
Mungecrundle wrote:
Please don’t tell me that you weren’t wearing a silk smoking jacket whilst writing that.
Mungecrundle wrote:
or smeared carefully into the air intake ducts, maybe a little on the underside of the door handle, and then carefully wipe off the excess to leave no visible trace…
don’t ask!
Mungecrundle wrote:
Well, the correct use of “fling” and “trow” is hotly debated since both words were used by Mason…
Throw: [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enya7IN_8so[/url]
Fling: [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgUwpb3I98M[/url]
Should have posted it on
Should have posted it on Faecebook….
So basically you can make up
So basically you can make up some nonsense on Facebook and get on the ‘news’ these days as it’ll generate clicks. Bit sad road.cc
#fakenews
Clearly not wearing bib
Clearly not wearing bib shorts, that requires time, planning and coordination.
I’m still finding this very
I’m still finding this very funny, worried about my mental age…
Just how angry do you have to be for the idea of doing this to 1, pop in to your mind and 2, seem like a good idea?
I’ve been plenty angry on many occasion, but never (probably until now), have I thought, “you know what, I’m going to sh!t in to my hand and throw it at that car”.
Give this rider a prize or
Give this rider a prize or something for his bravery and innovation!
cyclisto wrote:
Giving him a paper towel would be more useful.
I’m not surpised he was noted as riding “scarily”. Sprinting for the loo would be like the Tashkent Terror in full flight.
Luckily, relief was at hand for him.
cyclisto wrote:
Yes a prize but no handshake!!!
How do you have the time to
How do you have the time to pull your shorts down? How do you know it’s going to be solid enough to hold…..
Paulbox, don’t worry I’ll be giggling for a while.
Yorkshie Whippet wrote:
Practice, practice, practice!
And don’t forget to take off your Rapha hairsheep leather mitts first.
I’m sure there’s an Eddie Merdecx joke in here somewhere
I’m calling bullshit on this
I’m calling bullshit on this fake news.
What exactly is “cycling
What exactly is “cycling scarily ” anyway?
(I’m not going to get sucked into the whole poo-flinging mess).
If this did really happen,
If this did really happen, all I can say is Crapeau that man!!!
While I can see why its
While I can see why its amusing (and a source of some good puns), the fact is that lies like this (and it is surely a lie) create a poorimpression of cyclists among the non cycling public. This is like Trump’s “last night in Sweden” bullshit. Shouldn’t have been printed in the first place.
Facebook isn’t news.
Facebook isn’t news.
https://www.youtube.com/watch