Say what you like about Jeremy Clarkson, he knows his audience and he knows his brand. Today’s Sun column does more than just flirt with self-parody as he takes aim at cyclists.
London’s Boris Bikes are his main concern. He questions the worth of last year’s 10.3 million hires on the basis that “eagle-eyed researchers have discovered that nine of the ten most popular trips on the bikes in the past five years were around Hyde Park.”
His position therefore is that “the bikes are mainly being used by tourists who just want to pootle around looking at Mrs Queen’s swans.”
But then he broadens things out, asserting that “the only people who use bikes instead of cars are lunatics who are waging some kind of idiotic war with anyone normal.”
Odd, considering that Clarkson himself was out on his bike one day after being fired by the BBC.
He goes on to describe last week’s video of a truck driver losing it with a bunch of cyclists – one of whom had been hit after going straight on from a left-turn lane – and presents it as if it were a typical example of the kind of thing being targeted by West Midlands Police’s close-pass operation.
He describes the case of Dean Littleford, the truck driver who was baffled to become the operation’s first court conviction, and takes issue with the recommendation that drivers allow 1.5m when passing cyclists.
“So let’s just work that out,” he writes. “The bike needs to be two feet from the kerb to be safe. It is a foot wide and it needs five feet of clearance. That’s eight feet for a bicycle, which on most normal British roads leaves two feet for the car or truck to get past safely.”
You’d think after all his years of driving, Clarkson would have discovered that those broken white lines down the middle of the road aren’t actually impenetrable.
Or perhaps he’s just adopting an exaggerated and confrontational position purely for his column.
It’s worth remembering that the presenter has previously spoken effusively about the cycling-centric nature of Copenhagen and said that he would move there “in a heartbeat”.
Perhaps his position is best summed up by his assertion that in Britain “cycling is a political statement” whereas in Copenhagen “it’s just a pleasant way of getting about.”

48 thoughts on “Cyclists are “idiots waging war on normality” – Jeremy Clarkson”
How can I report him for
How can I report him for encouraging reckless/dangerous driving?
Ramuz wrote:
Don’t worry. He’ll expedite his own eventual demise via his excessive consumption of Marlboros.
Ramuz wrote:
Won’t work, you can get two or three years in jail for hate crimes but anything against people on bikes even threats to kill that are in the public domain, the police aren’t interested.
Two tier justice system and people on bikes are bottom of the pile by a LONG way.
Nobody with an IQ over 40
Nobody with an IQ over 40 cares what Clarkson says or what’s in the Sun.
ChetManley wrote:
…and neither do I!
ChetManley wrote:
Unfortunately that’s quite a lot of people, according to the Press Gazette, The Sun, online & print, is read by 26.2 million people per month. It gets worse though, the Daily Mail is read by by 29 million people per month. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/nrs-the-sun-moves-up-to-become-second-most-read-uk-newspaper-in-print-and-online-with-mail-still-top-on-29m-a-month/
tourdelound wrote:
Unfortunately that’s quite a lot of people, according to the Press Gazette, The Sun, online & print, is read by 26.2 million people per month. It gets worse though, the Daily Mail is read by by 29 million people per month. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/nrs-the-sun-moves-up-to-become-second-most-read-uk-newspaper-in-print-and-online-with-mail-still-top-on-29m-a-month/— ChetManley
Does this include those who just look at the pictures?
ChetManley wrote:
I dont either.
Clarkson’s an arse.
Yep , Clarkson is a F^%$wit !
Yep , Clarkson is a F^%$wit !
I actually enjoy his brand of
I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.
hawkinspeter wrote:
Well exactly. The guy was trolling for decades before trolling even became ‘a thing’, he knows exactly what buttons he’s pressing.
The rules of satire make for great fun – take Alf Garnett for example. All the ‘clever’ people who get that the joke is on him as he’s a bigot, are happy. All the people who take it as they see are happy as their bigot views are confirmed by someone else. EVERYONE’S A WINNER! Clarkson is a master of the game and a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE.
Yorkshire wallet wrote:
And after all this time, people STILL don’t realise when their buttons are being pressed.
FrankH wrote:
they’re all finite-state automata. They don’t even know they have buttons.
FrankH wrote:
If someone’s entire projected persona involves being an arse, the person *really is* an arse.
IanMunro wrote:
Quite possibly. I do enjoy Clarkson’s antics and don’t want to see him silenced or conforming to certain standards as that’s part of what makes him funny (as opposed to Katy Hopkins who just seemed to be filled with hate). If he’s echoing some “common” opinions, then it’s worthwhile investigating why people think that way and whether some education (e.g. public information films) should be funded to put across the actual facts.
hawkinspeter wrote:
Thing is, he isn’t just passively ‘echoing’ those opinions; he’s reinforcing and amplifying them. His high profile helps to normalise and entrench them. So people are thinking those things – and thinking it’s ok to think those things – in part because he is saying them in these humorous ways and in these very public forums.
As for re-educating people; his ‘humourous’ persona means that if anyone seriously tries to challeneg those opinions – say through ‘public information films’ – he can just evade that challenge by refusing to take any of it seriously.
They greatest trick people like Clarkson ever pull is to write or say profoundly impacful things whilst all the while convincing the world that they’re only joking.
Yorkshire wallet wrote:
Agree to an extent, but…
The joke ultimately isn’t on him, or Alf Garnett, is it?
Much as ‘darkies’ and ‘Scouse gits’ will have had much stronger, yet valid, responses than admiring the satire, Clarkson can be held to account for playing to the cheap seats.
Next time I’m punishment-passed for just being on the road and there’s a split second when I wonder whether my kids are about to lose their dad, I’m sure I’ll be forgiven for seeing the irresponsible prick making a mint out of rabble-rousing, as opposed to the master satirist passing comment on cultural issues.
(plus, as burt mentions, the whole producer-punching thing did make him out to be a diva who takes himself just a tad too seriously, rather than the self-deprecating wit that I’m sure he’d rather we saw him as)
Yorkshire wallet wrote:
These are the ones who worry me. The ones who take what he says as gospel before going out on the roads in their cars…
hawkinspeter wrote:
Indeed. The sad thing is that this saloon bar boor persona is the one that makes him the most money, so he sticks with it. He can actually be a surprisingly articulate and engaging presenter when he isn’t playing the twat. I saw a documentary about Arnhem presented by him and he was very good.
Another public-school
Another public-school-educated member of the 1% who claims to speak for the “normal” silent majority despite not having had to work a nine-to-five job for decades, if ever. People like him and Nigel Farage represent everything that is sick and wrong in the British psyche. And yet, like Toad of Toad Hall, people love them. Ha ha ha, he said something rude about a group to which I don’t belong, making me feel a bigger man by comparison, give him a knighthood. Pathetic.
handlebarcam wrote:
Well said!
Into his fifties, career on the wane, pulling power diminishing in proportion to his weight; I’d be looking for cheap shots too.
He’s brilliant, love him to
He’s brilliant, love him to bits. The simple answer to all those who don’t like him, don’t watch or read about him because regardless of your views on him he ain’t going to change.
I think he’s funny. I don’t
I think he’s funny. I don’t agree with him, but he does make me laugh. As Stewart Lee says, he holds his views weekly, in the Sun, for money. That millions of people are unable to see that and follow the cult-of-Clarkson says more about them than him.
A boorish malcontent who
He is ideally suited to writing in the Sun – spewing his effluent into a stinking shit filled creek makes perfect sense.
There are two possibilities:
There are two possibilities: either the Sun have threatened to drop him unless he gets more clicks, or he’s got a new book coming out.
Either way, he’s an arrogant, pathetic producer puncher.
“So let’s just work that out,
“So let’s just work that out,” he writes. “The bike needs to be two feet from the kerb to be safe. It is a foot wide and it needs five feet of clearance. That’s eight feet for a bicycle, which on most normal British roads leaves two feet for the car or truck to get past safely.”
Isn’t that the point? You can’t squeeze past a person on a bike; you have to overtake using the other lane. As a car or truck is wider than 2 foot.
I’m a petrol head like JC, I
I’m a petrol head like JC, I’m also a motorcyclist and a cycling enthusiast, I love anything with wheels. JC is just a whiffy leftover from an age long gone, and well, he’s a big nobhead too. Nothing he says can be taken with any credibility or seriously.
Clarkson. LOL. It’s just
Clarkson. LOL. It’s just noise.
I remember yet another Top
I remember yet another Top Gear episode whose goal was to determine once for all which car was the best. All time.
Two finalists were Ford Transit and a typical Japanese Honda bike because both contributed to let people just get the stuff to one’s door. In other words, the best car is the one you don’t have.
Obligatory link to Stewart
Obligatory link to Stewart Lee on Top Gear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7CnMQ4L9Pc
But yes, his outrageous polically incorrect opinions that he has every week to a deadline …
I’ve tried so hard not to
I’ve tried so hard not to post a comment on here… Look: Clarkson is paid a lot of money to express and to create outrage on a given subject , with the sole aim of creating clicks and making money. He doesn’t need to actually believe what he’s writing, and I doubt anyone (even he, by now) knows what his real opinion is. Like Katie Hopkins in dad jeans.
brooksby wrote:
All well and good if he bashes it out on his Amstrad in the privacy of his smelly bedsit, and then tears it up and cries himself to sleep because nobody is listening, but he (and Katie Hopkins et al) know full well that thousands of impressionable people do read them and then let those nasty ramblings inform their opinions and actions.
Next time some entitled fucker close passes you, or throws a Coke bottle of piss at you, or beeps their horn aggressively at you just for having the temerity to check over your shoulder at the traffic lights (other car based acts of intimidation are available..), ask yourself ; where does all this aggression come from and who is perpetuating it?
Jeremy and Katie might just be making an honest living, but I manage to house and feed a family without being an utter c..t. Why can’t they?
pockstone wrote:
Now let’s not go too far: I didn’t say it was an *honest* living. And I don’t disagree with your other points either. I wasn’t defending him, just trying to explain him.
What would Matt LeBlanc say?
What would Matt LeBlanc say?
Infuriating stuff to read but
Infuriating stuff to read but the optimist in me says maybe it’s better we have idiotic pieces like this for the penis-size issue drivers out there to vent, rather than them take their pent up aggression out on a real life unsuspecting cyclist.
It occurs to me that a
It occurs to me that a hundred years ago, newspapers would have been commenting that people buying automobiles were waging a war on normality. Just saying… “Normality” appears to be “whatever the majority of people do”.
brooksby wrote:
Seems to be some truth in that. But ‘normality’ can always be changed if you have enough power.
In the interests of accuracy
In the interests of accuracy can you please change the head line to read:
“Cyclists are…. – Jeremy Clarkson’s ghostwriter”
Fair enough Brooksby, sorry
Fair enough Brooksby, sorry you got caught in the backwash of my rant.
It was late, and you had to mention Katie Hopkins… 🙂
pockstone wrote:
No problem 🙂
I was reminded of this thread on todays ride when white van man passed me with cm’s to spare ( then turn off).
So it may not be real and just a front to sell clicks but thats not how its taken by the empty heads who read the nonsense.
Thing is, Jezza is right
Thing is, Jezza is right about a lot of it. As we know, there are thousands of cyclinsts in London who ride like complete assholes. So we shouldn’t be surprised if there are people who dislike us because of it. And it is a political statement in a huge way here, in a way it’s not in many other places. I don’t know much about Copenhagen, but I lived in Bruge for a while, and cycling is a complete non-event. Virtually veryone does it as a way to get around, and many additionally as sport/exercise. And poor/anti social cycling is cubject to the same lack of tolleration and poor/anti social everything else. Talking about it is regarded as about as interesting as discussing the latest addition to one’s toothpast top collection.
You lost me as soon as The
You lost me as soon as The Sun was mentioned.
It’s his followers I can’t
It’s his followers I can’t stand.
Ban Jeremy Clarkson
Ban Jeremy Clarkson
OldRidgeback wrote:
Is that to the tune of Seven Nation Army?
Baaan Je-re-my Claark-son
Baaan Je-re-my Claark-son
…
Love him! He is the
Love him! He is the consumate idiot when he wants to be and has made a very good living out of being outragous for the sake of it. And now let us not forget who he is writing for – The Sun. Need I say more