Are you a Strava Wanker? Well, if you’re given to over-sharing on the popular running and riding cycling app and website, post improbable achievements or are simply careless in switching settings between different activities, you may attract that accolade thanks to the @stravawankers Twitter feed.
Dedicated to unearthing “terrible attempts at Strava’ing,” the feed now has getting on for 2,700 followers, guaranteeing those appearing on it 15 minutes – or more likely, in these short attention span times, 15 seconds – of internet fame.
While much of the focus is on running, even former world champion cyclists aren’t immune from scrutiny – witness this recent 'effort' from Team Sky’s Michal Kwiatkowski which got kudos from more than 600 fellow Strava users.
Who are these 630 people?! They all need a serious talking to! The Strava rule is anything under a mile = no Kudos! pic.twitter.com/xuIkUKNHvR
— Strava Wankers (@stravawankers) March 10, 2016
Then there’s Belgian pro Oliver Naesen, who rides for IAM Cycling, and replied to @stravawankers to explain why something weird had popped up on his Strava page.
— Oliver naesen (@OliverNaesen) March 7, 2016
It’s not just pro cyclists either who are under scrutiny, and while it’s good to log all your rides to keep track of your cumulative totals for the year, for example – although in some cases, you may get a bit of kickback.
Mind you, if that’s Dominic himself in the avatar, meaning it's his account and not, say, his dad's, he probably does deserve some kudos for the ride.
— Dave Ranson (@uclown2002) September 25, 2015
At the opposite extreme, while most Garmin owners probably logged a car ride or train trip when they first got it just for the hell of it and to see some big numbers appear on the display, posting a flight to Strava (after missing the announcement to switch of electronic devices, presumably) and calling it a bike ride is a bit off.
— Strava Wankers (@stravawankers) August 24, 2015
Movistar pro rider Alex Dowsett –British time trial champion and former UCI Hour Record holder – has also made it onto Strava Wankers, although he doesn’t seem to mind what others think.
@stravawankers I do what I want
— Alex Dowsett (@alexdowsett) December 19, 2015
He chipped in again after another more recent activity – this time on a bike – was flagged up on the Twitter feed.
@stravawankers agreed, that session actually hurt, you'd think more people would've appreciated it.
— Alex Dowsett (@alexdowsett) March 3, 2016
Other non-cycling or running related activities from less heralded names include this skate round the ice rink at London’s Somerset House.
— Will Morris (@Will_5000) November 25, 2015
A fair few posts on the Twitter feed highlight the problems caused when Strava (or its users) get confused between running and cycling, leading to loss of CRs – Course Records, the equivalent of a KOM or QOM when no pedal power was involved.
This particular one made us chuckle due to the name of the new CR holder, shared with the 1988 Olympic 100 metres champion who was stripped of his gold medal after failing a drugs test.
— Mike Wells (@mikew30) October 12, 2015
The @stravawankers feed is of course tongue in cheek – and from some of the posts to it, appearing there can be a kind of badge of honour to some users – but in many cases it highlights the addictive nature of Strava, as you’ll find from plenty of the activities you’ll see there when scrolling through it.
Born in Scotland, Simon moved to London aged seven and now lives in the Oxfordshire Cotswolds with his miniature schnauzer, Elodie. He fell in love with cycling one Saturday morning in 1994 while living in Italy when Milan-San Remo went past his front door. A daily cycle commuter in London back before riding to work started to boom, he's been news editor at road.cc since 2009. Handily for work, he speaks French and Italian. He doesn't get to ride his Colnago as often as he'd like, and freely admits he's much more adept at cooking than fettling with bikes.