If you’re new to cycling, you may have heard talk of a mysterious preparation called chamois cream. You may have wondered what chamois cream is, but, realising that it’s something to do with your undercarriage, been too embarrassed to ask. To spare your blushes, we’re going to tell you, and point you to the best chamois creams.
Chamois cream provides a layer of lubrication between your skin and the pad in your shorts, helping keep you comfortable
Chamois cream is especially useful for long rides and for indoor training where you may not move around on the saddle very much
As well as lubricants, many chamois creams contain anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients to help keep you problem-free down there
For a cheap alternative check out the udder creams designed to soothe cows' teats; buy in bulk and you can get a kilogram for the price of a small tub of cycling chamois cream
The liner in cycling shorts is these days made from a sandwich of very clever foams and synthetic fabrics, designed to sit against your skin and keep you comfortable. The outer layer in particular is designed not to chafe your skin and to move with you as you pedal.
Wind the clock back 30-odd years or so and there were no fancy synthetic shorts liners. Instead, what you found when you turned your shorts inside out was a piece of soft leather, made from the skin of a chamois goat. That’s right, one of these:
The problem with a leather lining is that it relies on the natural oils in the leather for its softness and comfort. Washing — especially machine washing — removes those oils, so you have to replace them. That’s where original chamois cream came in. It was a goop that replaced the oils in chamois leather, keeping it soft so you could wear it against your skin, and stopping it from cracking.
A useful side-effect of chamois cream was that it provided a layer of lubrication on top of the leather that further helped prevent chafing. Even though there’s no need to treat modern pads with chamois cream to keep them supple, it can be useful to keep you comfortable.
There are three situations when chamois cream is particularly useful: for very long rides; for indoor training, where you're on the saddle almost all the time; and for returning to cycling after a few weeks off.
When you ride, your skin adapts to the pressure of your weight on the saddle and toughens up. If you take a break from cycling your skin returns to its original softness, at least partially. Chamois cream helps keep your bits comfy until they toughen up again.
A ride substantially longer than you usually do is similar. Your undercarriage may be toughened up for 50- or 60-mile rides and you may have done enough training you’re confident of completing a century, but the extra distance can make you sore enough that the last few miles are no fun at all. Chamois cream to the rescue, preventing a sore bottom.
Chamois creams also contain anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients to help reduce the likelihood of skin infections. Basic hygiene helps too — get out of your shorts and get showered as soon as possible after a ride; always wash shorts between wears — but an extra line of protection against the dreaded saddle sores can’t hurt.
Chamois cream brands tend to come and go, but to give you a feel for what's out there, here are some of our favourites.
I have a slightly eccentric system for buying chamois cream. If I need some, I find whatever's cheapest on t'Interwebs when I'm buying something else, and grab a couple of tubs. That's how I discovered BeElite Chamois Cream which at £10 for 250ml is one of the cheapest shorts lubes around. And it turns out to be really good, too.
Be Elite contains, among other things, olus oil, beeswax, aloe vera, shea butter, menthol and peppermint for that zingy feel, and a buttload of other plant oils and extracts. It's a thick, almost solid cream that needs a bit of effort to get it moving to spread over your shorts liner, but once it's in place it stays there. The practical upshot of all this is that it's nicely slippery and stays that way for ages, whether you're out on the road all day or doing a long turbo session. Bargain!
Bend36 Chamois Cream is a good-quality cream that delivers plenty of on-bike comfort. It's not cheap, but it does do a good job.
Bend36 is named after the 36 hairpins on the Passo dello Stelvio (when you're climbing from Bormio; there are 48 on the other side) and it's a brand that's been developed in part by Alberto Contador and Ivan Basso. Between them they should know a thing or two about staying comfortable in the saddle.
Chamois creams can vary quite a lot in their consistency. This one has a pretty firm, waxy feel and the ingredients list is mostly a bunch of different waxes and emulsifiers. It also contains calendula extract (a type of marigold) that has natural anti-fungal, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial properties.
Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil is a chamois cream that isn't because it's an oil. It's different to a barrier cream, Crotch Guard claiming that it works 'in' the skin rather than 'on' the skin. It's a difference that works. Really well.
Crotch Guard's maker says that the oils in its product mimic the molecular structure of the lipids (fats, to you and me) found in human skin and therefore strengthen and reinforce the structure of the skin. Traditional chamois creams usually provide a protective barrier to guard the skin from rubbing against other surfaces, but these can clog pores, promote ingrown hairs and stain clothing. Crotch Guard says that its oil supports the physiology of the skin's natural lipids so it is recognised and accepted by the human body, which then absorbs it to help support the skin's natural barrier and protective functions.
It's not cheap at £18 for 118ml, but for the price of postage (£1) they'll send you a 10ml sample.
Paceline Products Chamois Butt'r Her' is the women's version of the original Chamois Butt'r skin lubricant, which has been soothing and softening men's bits and bottoms since 1993. The Her' cream shares some of the key ingredients – aloe vera to soothe irritated skin, vitamins A and E – but is pH balanced specifically for ladies, so you can put it 'everywhere' and there's no tingling sensation (which you may see as a good or bad thing).
It also shares the same price as the men's, and is very good value compared to the likes of Assos Chamois Creme Woman, especially considering you can find the 235ml (8 fl oz) tube discounted from the £15.99 RRP.
VeloSkin Chamois Cream is a thick, luxurious skin treatment that smells great and holds up on long rides. If you're a fan of chamois creams, you should try this. It feels like a real top-end luxury item. The smart black metal pot holds the most wonderfully thick, luxuriant paste I've ever smeared onto my nethers. The scent is distinctive and pleasing, with a good dose of bergamot – a key ingredient in true Eau de Cologne, it is worth remembering, so at the very least it should lend your shorts an olfactory touch of class.
2Toms Buttshield is a very, very good chamois cream, although it's not really a cream and more of a liquid. It's odourless, goes on without any mess and, thanks to the application method of rolling a thin film on the skin, there's no chance of over lubing. Buttshield is very smooth and silky to the touch and doesn't feel in any way unpleasantly clammy or sticky once it's in place down where it needs to be.
And once Buttshield is there it stays down there, even over the longest rides. Despite not being able to feel it between your legs (a good thing) it does work (also a good thing), preventing rubbing and soreness for whatever length ride you choose to be on.
Bikemonger's Happy Bottom Bum Butter is a distinctly different unguent for down below, more a wax than a cream, but it nevertheless lubes your bits really well and lasts a long time.
Happy Bottom Bum Butter is not your normal kind of chamois cream, not just because it's hand produced in Dorset just up the road from Charlie the Bikemonger's shop, and not because it's completely chemical free, made from 100% natural ingredients and also vegan friendly.
It isn't a cream, or even very much like butter – well, maybe butter from the fridge as it's very solid in consistency, firmer even than lip balm, more like surf wax according to those who know such things.
Muc-Off's Luxury Chamois Cream performs really well. That's the bottom line here. When it comes to the other kind of bottom line – the financial kind – you might be put off by the £20 RRP. That's assuming you buy it for the full retail price, though: shop around.
Muc-Off's formulation is anti-bacterial (containing aloe vera and witch hazel) and has a ‘mild cooling function’ – a bit tingly but nothing like some I've tried. It's pleasant enough when applied.
Once it's there, it stays there and does a good job of staving off any chafing from your shorts.
A mainstay of many cyclists' bathroom cabinets, Assos chamois cream is a classic that basically Just Works. It's durable, thick but spreadable and has a minty smell that translates into an, ahem, interesting cooling sensation as a well-prepped pad contacts your bits.
If you're a fan of long hours in the saddle then you've probably got a favourite chamois cream already. Even if you swear by one particular unguent or another, you should give this Sportique Century Riding Cream a go. Because it's brilliant.
t's incredibly tenacious. You stick this on your pad and it'll still be there when you get off the bike, no matter how long that is. Even after 15 straight hours in the saddle on a warm day it was doing the business. No chafing, no soreness, no nothing.
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Acknowledged by the Telegraph as a leading cycling journalist, John Stevenson has been writing about bikes and cycling for over 30 years since discovering that people were mug enough to pay him for it rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work.
He was heavily involved in the mountain bike boom of the late 1980s as a racer, team manager and race promoter, and that led to writing for Mountain Biking UK magazine shortly after its inception. He got the gig by phoning up the editor and telling him the magazine was rubbish and he could do better. Rather than telling him to get lost, MBUK editor Tym Manley called John’s bluff and the rest is history.
Since then he has worked on MTB Pro magazine and was editor of Maximum Mountain Bike and Australian Mountain Bike magazines, before switching to the web in 2000 to work for CyclingNews.com. Along with road.cc editor Tony Farelly, John was on the launch team for BikeRadar.com and subsequently became editor in chief of Future Publishing’s group of cycling magazines and websites, including Cycling Plus, MBUK, What Mountain Bike and Procycling.
John has also written for Cyclist magazine, edited the BikeMagic website and was founding editor of TotalWomensCycling.com before handing over to someone far more representative of the site's main audience.
He joined road.cc in 2013 and these days he lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.