[David9694]

A new catch-all Tea Shop thread for those miscellaneous new stories that don’t quite fit with parking, crashing into buildings or trapped/prisoners in their homes. 

Topic

[David9694]

Something occasionally pricks

Something occasionally pricks drivers about cycling and they feel a need justify their driving and come up with a range of reasons why they cannot possibly ever cycle or, as you’re suggesting, they create some unlikely (and uncommon) scenarios involving multiple passengers, heavy/bulky loads, remote locations and times.  

Everyone in Southampton works some 12 hour shift ten miles from home in the middle of nowhere, if you believe the DE comments column.  In this great city of enterprise, hard work and grafting, everyone’s got a bad back or a dodgy knee.  They’re perfectly fine to drive, of course, even right after that 12 hour shift. Don’t get them started on the evil Southampton City Council.   

It’s always wet dark and cold, it’s hilly, you get sweaty; it’s expensive (£5k for a bike dontchaknow).  There’s never anything about the effects on the body of years of inactivity, nor anything about journeys they could make by bike, just obstacles why they can’t. And in Mr Martin’s case, why no-one could or would ever wish to. 

[David9694]

It’s gradually dawning on

It’s gradually dawning on drivers where they’re getting to congestion-wise… 

Landlord of The Hooden Bar and Grill in Ashford raises fears over six months of roadworks in area

Willesborough Lees resident David Cossey fears it will lead to huge traffic congestion across Ashford. “The traffic situation in Ashford is going to be chaotic as they seem to be doing it all in one glorious go,” the 84-year-old said.

“Ashford only needs something to break down or a slight accident and you might as well forget it as it’s gridlocked.“When this starts we’re going to have to go along Hythe Road into the town centre and then down Canterbury Road to get to somewhere like Sainsbury’s which is a very long detour and going to add to the traffic everywhere.

“It’s going to be a major problem for people getting to the only hospital in Ashford in an emergency in what is one of the only A+E places in Kent.

https://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/i-may-actually-close-the-doors-fears-raised-over-six-mon-320423/

If it’s going to be 6 months of zero trade as the pubbie in the headline fears, might he be better off renting somewhere else from which to carry on trading? 
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156409808#/?channel=COM_LET

[David9694]

when the worst problem in

when the worst problem in your life is a dumb-ass number plate 

Couple lose battle with DVLA over ‘offensive’ football-themed number plate

The DVLA has given its final ruling

The affected couple expressed their frustration: “After two months we have received a letter from the DVLA. They state categorically that they will not reinstate N14 GAS on grounds of racial sensitivity, which is totally outrageous.”

“It could only be so if the numerals are changed to letters and someone is trying to find something racially offensive which isn’t there. We are deeply offended by their decision! When we receive our refund of £36 from the DVLA, we will reply to the DVLA giving our thoughts on their decision.”

“The DVLA should be cracking down on ‘false’ number plates, rather than offending law abiding 🙄 pensioners.”

Highlighting the issue, the couple noted “by the same criteria these postcodes would be deemed offensive”, impacting areas in Enfield and parts of London where postcodes begin with N14, such as N14 6AS and N14 4AA.

https://www.devonlive.com/news/uk-world-news/couple-lose-battle-dvla-over-9964302?int_source=nba

[David9694]

Tattooed car meet organiser

Tattooed car meet organiser said needle phobia prevented drug test

The 32-year-old, of Haig Close, Swindon, organised car meets in the town – which were described as “disruptive” by Wiltshire Police, who attempted to crack down on the unauthorised events.

Roads Policing officer Craig Beales said: “Warren was arrested twice within the span of six weeks on suspicion of drug driving and refused to provide a blood sample for analysis.

At the appeal hearing, the court heard that his alleged phobia was not medically diagnosed and a healthcare professional disputed his claims because he had tattoos.

https://www.wiltshire999s.co.uk/tattooed-car-meet-organiser-needle-phobia/

[David9694]

You’re making me all

You’re making me all nostalgic for the India deal, the one that’s going to make Brexit worthwhile. or am I mixing up my trolls?

[Rendel Harris]

Need to take your daughter

Need to take your daughter and her very expensive instrument to her lesson with the best cello teacher in Kent?

[chrisonabike]

Mr Blackbird wrote:

Mr Blackbird wrote:

Hopefully this letter is a piss take from a pro-cycling person?

I wonder if that Martin is related to the sometime poster here, having as one alias MartinRandomnumbers?  (Possibly with an earlier incarnation as socraticyclingtroll?)  Who (while a cyclist himself, naturally) also expressed amused scorn about the utility of cycling – in fact cycling in general and other cyclists in particular.

IIRC he claimed that anyone arriving by bike at one of his soirees would be given short shrift.  As far as I know he didn’t issue any invites so nobody has been able to test this.

[Mr Blackbird]

Hopefully this letter is a
Hopefully this letter is a piss take from a pro-cycling person?

Attending that New York board meeting? Do you want to arrive 3 months late, sweaty and with your clothes soaked after cycling across the Atlantic? Non, nein,nada! Give me an A-380 or Boeing 777 any time!

Need to transport 23 tonnes of wheat to a flour mill? Would you use a bike? No me neither! Give me a HGV any time!

Planing a manned expedition to Mars? Would you use a bike? Get out of here! A spaceship is better by far!

Meeting a Tinder contact for mind blowing sex, after snorting cocaine from her cleavage? Will cleated shoes and a cycling helmet make your partner tingle with sexual anticipation? Is the pope a giraffe? Use a Ferrari!

Serious tools for serious jobs!

J Martin,
Knob End,
Southampton.

[David9694]

Sheringham Tesco speed bump

Sheringham Tesco speed bump removed from car park

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/24951033.sheringham-tesco-speed-bump-removed-car-park/

[ROOTminus1]

Front page of the local rag,
Front page of the local rag, earlier in the week.

How careless of the driver to let their car do that.

[Hirsute]

Carbrain, motonormativity.

Carbrain, motonormativity.

Yes, the scooter is sticking out a bit but it is still sticking out less than a parked car. You would not beep the car owner for parking on the road so why beep the scooterist ?

[Spangly Shiny]

Greater Manchester version is

Greater Manchester version is probably a pretty good bet then. Thanks for the reply.

[David9694]

Getting predictable now 

Getting predictable now 

Ferrari crash driver keeps licence despite having 13 points

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/24948493.ferrari-crash-driver-keeps-licence-despite-13-points/

[David9694]

Minehead, it’s only February,

Minehead, it’s only February, but meet induced demand 

A39 traffic congestion to Butlin’s in Minehead is very heavy

https://www.somersetcountygazette.co.uk/news/24942363.a39-traffic-congestion-butlins-minehead-heavy/

[David9694]

Scrapping free car parks

Scrapping free car parks could frighten away shoppers – ah yes, free parking = retail prosperity. Let me take you to Wellingborough, Northamptonshire, which is I reckon the biggest town in England still offering free town centre off-street parking. The greatest retail boom town you’ve never heard of, right? Well…

https://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/people/mp-gen-kitchen-launches-wellingborough-town-centre-task-force-but-admits-it-wont-be-a-quick-fix-4863412

Back to Somerset, for Langport the proposed daily parking charge is £2 – I struggle to see how the much difference any loss of high rolling drivers who can’t (or won’t) pay that amount will make to local shops.

https://www.somersetcountygazette.co.uk/news/24943721.free-parking-scrapped-somerset-council-car-parks/

[Author]

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