Assos Equipe RSR Bolide Bib Shorts S11

The Assos Equipe RSR Bolide Bib Shorts S11 are expensive and lovely. But while they’re comfortable, light and very well made, are they more so than many others manage? Arguably, no. I personally didn’t find the legs that secure either, and if left to rise too far they could cause chafing.

Two aspects dominate these shorts: firstly, they look and feel fantastic, and secondly, the price is colossal. You can’t really ignore either, as let’s be honest, the two things are inextricably linked.

Starkly prominent logos on the right bum cheek and left thigh let other riders know how much money you used to have, while the straps remind you personally with a mix of lines, angles, textures and contrasting edges that’s almost art. Drop these on the floor and the jumbled straps hang like £1m abstract paintings. If you want fine looks, these have them.

There’s a subtle pattern of brushed and unbrushed panelling to the main section, and the raw-cut legs are scalpel straight. Even the size/washing instruction label is a sewn-on triangle of suede-like fabric with all lettering in raised silicone. It’s so flash. If staring uncomfortably closely at men’s shorts is your bag, baby, you’ll get your money’s worth here.

In use, I found them less extraordinary. Very good, but not extraordinary, and certainly not as extraordinary as the price.

The sizing is true to the chart and the fit is lovely and slim for what Assos calls ‘aggressively second-skin aerodynamics.’ The road.cc windtunnel was busy but certainly they’re not going to wrinkle or flap anywhere, and I was pleased to find an unusually cupped cut at the front, which reduces the squeeze on certain leisure equipment and noticeably increases comfort. These have, without wanting to sound too presidential about it, a magnificent ballroom.

All the main fabric is rated UPF50+ for protection against intense UK sun, assuming you’re too special for the natural sun protection we laughingly call rainclouds.

The pad is a twin-layer affair (9mm and 4mm) and only partly attached so it ‘floats’ a little against the outer fabric instead of twisting with it. A series of holes punched in the front encourage cooling airflow around the, let’s say, Bolides, and off towards the Assos.

What actually is a bolide? Wikipedia says it’s ‘any large, crater-forming body.’ If you’ve got one of those, you may not be happy, as these are race fit.

Amazingly, Assos dubs the holes in the pad a ‘whirlKrater’ and promises to create ‘a whirlwind of cooling airflow instead of just a unidirectional breeze.’ So now I know at least one person thinks having a unidirectional breeze drying your nads is a problem that needs solving. Solving with a whirlwind.

Surely a cyclone would be more appropriate.

Southerly gusts aside, the shorts’ low front makes rest stops (or drive-bys) easy should you need to quickly liquidate some assets.

The legs end with a broad encirclement of ‘integrated anti-slip yarns,’ but the threads are thin, very low profile and not especially grippy. I didn’t find them very effective, as the legs would gradually creep up until folds developed high up and started chafing. Assos says these yarns provide ‘frictionless, uninterrupted grip,’ which just makes me think Assos doesn’t understand friction.

Leg-shaving racers may have better results, of course (there’s a yeti in my family tree, I can’t comment) but silicone works either way, and is frankly a more effective gripper.

Value

How to even start judging the value of £295 shorts? If you just want good shorts these are pretty poor value, as you can get that for way less. So never mind the Bolides, here’s the alternative.

The Castelli Free Aero Race S Bibshorts are almost £100 cheaper at £199, for instance, and did very well in our test. They’re only 5g heavier than the Bolides at 181g, and still actually really expensive.

If you really want to go mad you could do it with the £73 Galibier Équipe 3 Aero Bib Shorts, which have similarly unverifiable aero claims, an excellent pad, and are 2g lighter at 174g. They even come in two leg lengths, and they scored 9/10. No, they aren’t nearly as fancy, but if anyone comments you can slap them duel-fashion with your £222 change. In coins. In a sock.

Of course, Assos is not alone at this level. It’s where the premium stuff lives, and the price is a big part of how you know it’s premium. The Q36.5 Dottore Clima Bib Shorts are just £5 less at £290, for example, and while the pad doesn’t claim to cool you like a Dyson sucking up cherries, it’s very good for racers in aggressive riding positions and surrounded by an excellent pair of shorts. At 185g they’re a whopping 9g heavier, though, so mind your back.

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Overall

These are really well put together shorts with a host of really lovely design details; details that crisply elevate the look and feel to a truly premium level. They’re comfortable, cool and a good weight too. The ‘frictionless’ grippers are disappointing, however, especially at this level, and for me the subsequent leg creep caused comfort issues. But despite all this and a price that’s only just short of POA, they remain a very impressive choice.