[IanMSpencer]

There is the published Highway Code, but after some years, we all realise that there is a real Highway Code that is shared between drivers.

I think it is important for safety that the true highway code is properly documented.

Perhaps you can help.

Topic

[JustTryingToGetFromAtoB]

ShutTheFrontDawes wrote:

ShutTheFrontDawes wrote:

I have a serious one now, sorry folks. I was going to do a revision of rule 239 (parking), but I’ve just realised it says: “Before using a hand-held device to help you to park, you MUST make sure it is safe to do so. Then, you should move the vehicle into the parking space in the safest way, and by the shortest route possible. When you use a hand-held device to help you to park, you MUST remain in control of the vehicle at all times. Do not use the hand-held device for anything else while you are using it to help you park, and do not put anyone in danger. Use the hand-held device according to the manufacturer’s instructions” WTAF is this “hand-held device to help you to park”?! I’ve been using my mirrors and steering wheel all this time. Have I been doing it wrong?!

I think that’s where you phone a friend who is more competent than you to come and park the damn thing for you… a long long time ago a mate actually did that. 

[ShutTheFrontDawes]

I have a serious one now,
I have a serious one now, sorry folks. I was going to do a revision of rule 239 (parking), but I’ve just realised it says:
“Before using a hand-held device to help you to park, you MUST make sure it is safe to do so. Then, you should move the vehicle into the parking space in the safest way, and by the shortest route possible.

When you use a hand-held device to help you to park, you MUST remain in control of the vehicle at all times. Do not use the hand-held device for anything else while you are using it to help you park, and do not put anyone in danger. Use the hand-held device according to the manufacturer’s instructions”

WTAF is this “hand-held device to help you to park”?!

I’ve been using my mirrors and steering wheel all this time. Have I been doing it wrong?!

[ShutTheFrontDawes]

IanMSpencer wrote:

IanMSpencer wrote:

*See also “Some bastard has parked on the road outside my house.”

Also known as ” MY parking space”.

[IanMSpencer]

Beware of regional variations
Beware of regional variations in parking rules.

For example, double red lines indicate parking is only allowed if two parallel lines of cars or vans are present in Sparkbrook.

In other parts of the country they mean parking not permitted if someone spots a policeman or council parking warden (aka snitch, waste of space).

If someone is seen parking on double red lines, and this causes you a delay or the exertion of changing lanes on a dual carriageway, you MUST comment to your passenger or the world in general that “There is never a policeman or traffic warden around when you need one. What do I pay my RoAD tAX for?”*

*See also “Some bastard has parked on the road outside my house.”

[brooksby]

If a bicycle is the only

If a bicycle is the only vehicle stopped at a zebra crossing, you should just go around them.

[ShutTheFrontDawes]

Rule 224
Rule 224
Tyres, although fitted with grooves or ‘tread’ (mainly for manufacturing purposes) provide far better grip when the grooves have been worn away. To wear away the excess rubber effectively, you should accelerate and brake as hard as possible at all times. As a by-product, you should ignore speed limits and stopping distances as your tyres now provide better traction than Max Verstappen’s.

[IanMSpencer]

Cyclists are vulnerable road
Cyclists are vulnerable road users. This means that they are unpredictable and dangerous and may kill you without warning. Therefore you MUST perform the Safety Overtake.

* If you see a cyclist ahead, accelerate firmly.

* To minimise the risk of being killed, maimed or injured by the cyclist, ensure you pass rapidly.

You may ignore:

– blind bends;

– street furniture;

– keep left signs on pedestrian refuges;

– oncoming traffic, including vulnerable road users;

– road markings such as SLOW and double white lines;

– speed limits;

– Junctions;

– Any hand signals the cyclist may give.

If there is insufficient space to pass, the cyclist is obliged to give way.

To make sure they are aware of your presence you MUST give a “safety toot” by pressing your horn for a minimum of 5 seconds, ideally immediately before passing.

If the cyclist is not riding in the gutter, you SHOULD direct them towards the edge of the road with a firm movement to the left as you pass. You may use pedestrian refuges and oncoming traffic to help you time this movement.

Be especially aware if a cyclist glances over their shoulder or gives a hand signal. This means that the cyclist is about to make an unpredictable move and you should make an extra effort to pass quickly.

In the event a cyclist shouts or gesticulates as you pass, you MUST:

* Make an emergency stop;

* Leap from your car and use the following phrases:

– “What’s your problem, mate?”

– “Do you own all the road?”

– “Didn’t you see I needed to get past?”

– “How am I supposed to see you with/without* hi-viz*, with/without* flashing/steady* lights*, in broad daylight/at night*, with/without helmet*”

– “You’ll kill somebody riding like that.”

– “It’s not safe to be on the road, you should have been on the pavement/cycle lane**.”

– “You don’t pay RoAd tAX!!!*** It’s my right of way.”

This will educate all cyclists to be better road users in the future. We thank you for your service.

*Delete as appropriate

**Extra marks if neither of these exist in the vicinity of the incident.

***Bonus marks if used when driving an electric car.

[chrisonabike]

146 Adapt your driving to the

146 Adapt your driving to the appropriate type and condition of road you are on. In particular

– do not treat speed limits as a target. They are the bare minimum.  It is often not appropriate or safe to drive at less than the minimum speed limit because everyone else is doing it
– take the road and traffic conditions into account. Be prepared for unexpected or difficult situations, for example, it getting dark at night, or being a bit difficult to see things when it’s foggy or you’re looking towards the sun.  Unfortunately there is no way of anticipating or dealing with such situations in practice so be prepared to press on in the hope that you’ll be able to see better in a bit and it’ll all work out.
– the road being blocked beyond a blind bend.  Instruct a lawyer in advance if concerned.
– in side roads and country lanes look out for unmarked junctions where nobody has priority – it’s a 50:50 so it’s the other party’s lookout
– be prepared to stop at traffic lights if a red light has become established
– there’s no anticipating what pedestrians and cyclists might do. So don’t.  They’ve had over a century to learn to avoid the motor vehicle.

[chrisonabike]

145 You MUST NOT drive on or

145 You MUST NOT drive on or over a pavement, footpath or bridleway except to gain lawful access to property, or in the case of an emergency *.

* Defined as “having your BOLAS on”; needing to get around another road user – especially a cyclist; when “justing” to just get a bit closer to a building e.g. to just make a delivery or get a coffee; or to park on the pavement / cycle path in whole or part so as to reduce the risk of ire from other motorists who might otherwise be inconvenienced.

[Seventyone]

I thought I had posted this
I thought I had posted this earlier but

If a person a bicycle is not using a lane provided for them at great expense from your hard earned road tax

1. The only possible reason for this is that they are deliberately out to spite you and slow you down with their lycra clad , tofu eating slow ways

2. As a result of 1. You are perfectly entitled to close pass them, intimidate them, hit them etc. After all they are deliberately in your way so rule no longer apply

In addition if you ever saw a person doing this once, you can apply 2 to all people on bikes in any situation as they are probably on their merry way to do this to someone else somewhere else as soons as possible.

Why else would anyone be on a bike but to show off their (entirely ) false moral superiority

[Bikepool]

If you are involved in an
If you are involved in an incident or collision you MUST maintain forward momentum whilst considering whether to stop or leg it.

[Bikepool]

If reprimanded by a cyclist
If reprimanded by a cyclist for breaking a rule you MUST:

(*) Share your opinion on whether you think cyclists should ride two abreast.
(*) Inform the other party on your tax status.
(*) Drive off whilst shouting obscenities.
(*) Consider making obscene gestures whilst driving away.

[Bikepool]

When turning into a junction
When turning into a junction with two lanes you SHOULD:

(*) Take the racing line making sure to cut the corner.
(*) Ignore other road users.
(*) Use your horn to alert other road users of your entitlement.

[Bikepool]

On approaching a roundabout
On approaching a roundabout take notice and act on all the information available to you, including the assumed top speed of other road users. When reaching the roundabout you SHOULD quickly pull out in front of slower road users whilst looking straight at them.

[IanMSpencer]

If entering a motorway you
If entering a motorway you MUST:

– take the right hand lane of the slip road.

– pull immediately onto the motorway. Any traffic on the motorway must brake or change lanes to permit this.

If traffic is stationary you may either:

– join immediately, disregarding any solid white lines and then block any other motorists attempting to join following the slip road who may have got ahead

Or:

– swerve into the left lane (see first point), then drive to the very end of the slip road and enter the motorway. If you are unable to do so, you may drive down the hard shoulder for a bit until you may join safely.

Once on the motorway, you may immediately move into the rightmost lane. DO NOT signal as any driver should expect you to do this and it is wrong to over-signal.

[Author]

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