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How am I Supposed to motivate myself?

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  • November 29, 2018 at 9:02 am #29169
    cycle.london

    Over the past three months, I’ve cycled maybe once per week, maybe two weeks out of each month.  My job allows me to work from home pretty much whenever I wish, and I’ve been abusing that privilege.   

    The issue is exacerbated by my wife’s hours.  If I cycle in, I’m out of bed at five and on the road by 05:15, and so usually back home by 4 PM, whereas she doesn’t even finish work until about seven.   The time she gets to the station, home by train and I drive to pick her up, we’re usually both home by about 8:30 PM, and by nine, I’m usually in bed.    So if I want to spend any time with her, I’ll hang on until about 11 before going to bed, which effectually f**ks my chances of getting up at five the next morning.  I could cycle in later, but London drivers are insane enough at 5:30 in the morning.  At seven or eight, it’s downright impossible.  Plus, the later in the morning, the more cycle commuters there are, many of whom have as much an idea of ‘road sense’ as I do of quantum physics.

    Let me just throw in an edit here to say that I’m not blaming my wife.  I’m the lazy one, not her. 

    So I’m sitting in front of the Mac at home now, ‘working’ from home but of course am on Facebook.  My boss doesn’t really care, as despite everything, I do get the job done.   But this is having a detrimental effect on my mental health.  

    How do I force myself to get up and out in the mornings?

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  • December 13, 2018 at 10:58 am #932119
    0
    hawkinspeter
    Simon E wrote:
    cycle.london wrote:
    Over the weekend, I cleaned my bike, got it ready for the commute, and charged all my lights.  Yesterday morning, up at 5 AM, and out for the ride into London.

    Shit happens. Try not to let incidents like this get to you. Look at the positives.

    You could buy a pump with a hose, it means you don’t put the same sideways force on the valve.

    In time it may help you to understand what’s behind the ‘bike toss’ and where that frustration comes from. I’ve been prone to taking my anger out on inanimate objects in the past, it’s very common. At least I think it’s in the past…

    Nowadays I always try to use a pump with a hose fitting as I’ve got a tendency to be heavy-handed and sometimes have a little rage tantrum at inanimate objects. I try to (afterwards) laugh about it and not take myself so seriously next time, but yes, misbehaving valves deserve everything they get.

    Remember that cycling is about having fun, so if you’re not enjoying it have a break for a while (and don’t feel guilty about it).

    I do sympathise – you make loads of effort and a stupid puncture knocks you back.

    December 13, 2018 at 9:52 am #932117
    0
    Simon E
    cycle.london wrote:
    Over the weekend, I cleaned my bike, got it ready for the commute, and charged all my lights.  Yesterday morning, up at 5 AM, and out for the ride into London.

    Shit happens. Try not to let incidents like this get to you. Look at the positives.

    You could buy a pump with a hose, it means you don’t put the same sideways force on the valve.

    In time it may help you to understand what’s behind the ‘bike toss’ and where that frustration comes from. I’ve been prone to taking my anger out on inanimate objects in the past. At least I think it’s in the past… it’s certainly very common.

    December 11, 2018 at 8:49 pm #932115
    0
    Fish_n_Chips

    Do small workouts in the week

    Do small workouts in the week and one long ride on the weekend?

     

    Wife comes first.  Then your goals.

    December 11, 2018 at 10:33 am #932113
    0
    cycle.london
    Martyn_K wrote:
    There are a few red flags which look to be contributing to your mood and self proclaimed lethargy. One of which you can’t affect, winter. Never underestimate SAD as a condition as it can in extreme cases cripple those who suffer from depression. A SAD lamp or a sunrise/ sunset lamp can help alleviate symptoms.

    What else can you effect though?

    Getting up early and going to bed late. I would say that you need to sit down and try to work on a solution to this with your wife. Sleep is a very powerful tool, it is where you process the information that has entered your brain during the day, the body repairs itself and prepares for the next days activity. Someone has already suggested a half day at work and half day at home with a potential nap in the afternoon. There is a great book called ‘Sleep’ by Nick Littlehales which is well worth a read.

    It sounds like you are tight for space in your home. This can blur the lines between work and private life if you work from your residance. If you can, allocate a ‘work space’ which is somewhere that you go exclusively to work. It may also be useful to set yourself aside some work clothing. Garments to wear when you are working and you change out of when you clock off. Having designated space and clothing help to trigger your mind and to section off focus time and relaxation time. 

    If you do work from home then still complete your commute, just a loop from home to home in order to kick start your day. You say that you feel energised when riding to work. Who says that your ride to work can only take place when going from home to the office?

    Finally, you have self identified that you may have a problem. That is the first step. Don’t try to change everything at once as it may be overwhelming and could push you further down your spiral. Nobody wants that. Try to identify complex issues that will need long term continued focus and small changes that could be considered quick wins. A good book to help harness the power of the mind is ‘The Chimp Paradox’ from Dr Steve Peters (British Cycling, Team Sky and professional sports fame).

    Finally, finally. Never be afraid to talk about your mood. You will be surprised how many people have experienced what you are going through in some context and are more than happy to offer support.

     

    Good Luck

     

    Thank you for that, the advice is much appreciated.  I’m going to order the Steve Peters book today.  Maybe on Kindle, if that format is available.

    Over the weekend, I cleaned my bike, got it ready for the commute, and charged all my lights.  Yesterday morning, up at 5 AM, and out for the ride into London.  I had done about three miles, when I felt the rear start to fishtail.  A flat.  I always carry two tubes and everything needed to change them, but couldn’t be bothered so just pumped the rear tyre up and it seemed to hold.  A slow puncture, I thought.  I can get to work on that! 

    Removed the pump from the tube, and WHOOOSH!    The explosive sound of air escaping told me that I’d torn the valve out. 

    Fuck this, I thought.  I called my wife, and she came to get me.  I spent the rest of the day at home, and am there now.   I could go out and get the bik and change the rear tube, but I was none too gentle in putting it back into the shed yesterday morning, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve bent the rear mech.

    December 6, 2018 at 12:08 pm #932111
    0
    Martyn_K

    There are a few red flags

    There are a few red flags which look to be contributing to your mood and self proclaimed lethargy. One of which you can’t affect, winter. Never underestimate SAD as a condition as it can in extreme cases cripple those who suffer from depression. A SAD lamp or a sunrise/ sunset lamp can help alleviate symptoms.

    What else can you effect though?

    Getting up early and going to bed late. I would say that you need to sit down and try to work on a solution to this with your wife. Sleep is a very powerful tool, it is where you process the information that has entered your brain during the day, the body repairs itself and prepares for the next days activity. Someone has already suggested a half day at work and half day at home with a potential nap in the afternoon. There is a great book called ‘Sleep’ by Nick Littlehales which is well worth a read.

    It sounds like you are tight for space in your home. This can blur the lines between work and private life if you work from your residance. If you can, allocate a ‘work space’ which is somewhere that you go exclusively to work. It may also be useful to set yourself aside some work clothing. Garments to wear when you are working and you change out of when you clock off. Having designated space and clothing help to trigger your mind and to section off focus time and relaxation time. 

    If you do work from home then still complete your commute, just a loop from home to home in order to kick start your day. You say that you feel energised when riding to work. Who says that your ride to work can only take place when going from home to the office?

    Finally, you have self identified that you may have a problem. That is the first step. Don’t try to change everything at once as it may be overwhelming and could push you further down your spiral. Nobody wants that. Try to identify complex issues that will need long term continued focus and small changes that could be considered quick wins. A good book to help harness the power of the mind is ‘The Chimp Paradox’ from Dr Steve Peters (British Cycling, Team Sky and professional sports fame).

    Finally, finally. Never be afraid to talk about your mood. You will be surprised how many people have experienced what you are going through in some context and are more than happy to offer support.

     

    Good Luck

     

    December 1, 2018 at 4:30 pm #932109
    0
    CXR94Di2

    Get a work life balance, move

    Get a work life balance, move out of London.  Breath some less polluted countryside air.    

    November 30, 2018 at 8:02 pm #932107
    0
    maviczap
    peted76 wrote:
    Agree 100%, having a goal is a good motivator! Whether that’s a 10k run, doing your favourite loop at a certain pace or just not getting dropped by mates on a 100mile sportif, whatever it is, setting a goal helps motivate.

    Yep fully agree and my current problem. I’ve no goal at the moment.

    when I was young and raced it wasn’t difficult to go out for a ride or do a turbo session.

    Now, to really get my motivation going, I have to have a foreign trip planned. Didn’t have any issue preparing for this year’s trip to the Pyrenees.

    Although I think riding to work would help my mood, as it’d be a doddle, I certainly suffer from low mood from not cycling, and not exercising, despite my work being physically demanding sometimes.

    I might even break out Wii Sports if I can’t get out

    November 30, 2018 at 7:01 pm #932105
    0
    madcarew

    Just wanted to say what a

    Just wanted to say what a great supportive tone in this thread. Best wishes to our London Commuter 🙂

    November 30, 2018 at 2:09 pm #932103
    0
    peted76

    Agree 100%, having a goal is

    Agree 100%, having a goal is a good motivator! Whether that’s a 10k run, doing your favourite loop at a certain pace or just not getting dropped by mates on a 100mile sportif, whatever it is, setting a goal helps motivate.

    November 30, 2018 at 10:28 am #932101
    0
    rjfrussell

    if you want/ need external

    if you want/ need external motivation, sign up for one of the spring classics sportives-  RVV, Amstel Gold, LBL all good.

    November 30, 2018 at 10:17 am #932099
    0
    don simon fbpe

    srchar wrote:

    srchar wrote:

    don simon wrote:
    I would suggest, with experience and respect, that you should address the root of the depression professionally instead of from a few internet pseudo experts. The rest is likely to fall into place after that. Good luck.

    This is a tad unfair, Don.  I don’t think anybody’s claiming to be an expert, but many people commenting on this thread will have experience of depression and I think everyone has struggled for motivation to swing a leg over the bike at some point. The standard of mental health care in this country is hit-and-miss to say the least; for many suffering from mental health issues, discussing them on forums like this one can be very useful.


    I’ll let you decide as to whether I include myself under the pseudo expert umbrella, or not.
    Talking is always good, talking with a proper trained expert is always better. There’s some pretty shit advice in here already which probably doesn’t help people open up, or not.

    November 30, 2018 at 9:15 am #932097
    0
    srchar
    don simon wrote:
    I would suggest, with experience and respect, that you should address the root of the depression professionally instead of from a few internet pseudo experts. The rest is likely to fall into place after that. Good luck.

    This is a tad unfair, Don.  I don’t think anybody’s claiming to be an expert, but many people commenting on this thread will have experience of depression and I think everyone has struggled for motivation to swing a leg over the bike at some point. The standard of mental health care in this country is hit-and-miss to say the least; for many suffering from mental health issues, discussing them on forums like this one can be very useful.

    November 30, 2018 at 7:50 am #932095
    0
    DoctorFish

    Yorkshire wallet wrote:

    Yorkshire wallet wrote:
    A job where you can work from home whenever and 3 hour pub trips. You’d be very depressed and demotivated in most other people’s jobs. Work from home and have 3 hour bike ride?

    I’m not sure you understand depression.

     

    November 30, 2018 at 6:55 am #932093
    0
    Anonymous

    A job were you can work from
    A job where you can work from home whenever and 3 hour pub trips. You’d be very depressed and demotivated in most other people’s jobs.

    Work from home and have 3 hour bike ride?

    November 29, 2018 at 10:34 pm #932091
    0
    don simon fbpe
    Judge dreadful wrote:
    Do, or do not, there is no try.

    Broken leg?

    Walk or don’t walk, there is no try.

    Depression?

    Understand or don’t understand, there is no try.

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