[the little onion]

Cycling home yesterday, on a dead-straight road, when I approach a pinch point with a pedestrian refuge. The wankpanzer (a mercedes 4*4) behind me suddenly accelerates, squeezes close to me as they pass by, in a scary-yet-classic close pass. 

 

My anger suddenly turned into laughter, when I heard a loud bang and a clatter – they had driven over the edge of the pedestrian refuge, bursting their tyre. Instant karma. So not only have I reported them for a close pass, which the police are taking further, but they have to fork out for a new tyre. I can only hope their rim and suspension is also damaged!

 

No swearing, but I did produce a laugh and a Nelson Muntz style “ha-ha”

Topic

[bobbinogs]

The police down here in Devon
The police down here in Devon just keep it simple, no updates whatsoever about submitted footage. It does leave me wondering if I should bother or whether there is something simple I could do to improve, so I just report the bad ones.

[Rendel Harris]

Very pleasing. A few years

Very pleasing. A few years back off the Old Kent Road a gentleman in an obviously very expensive BMW turned right across me as I went straight on in the rain; after I’d controlled the skid this caused I shouted certain words of friendly advice, causing him to continue his turn and convert it into a three pointer with the obvious intention  of pursuing me to thank me for this advice. Unfortunately [sic] as he threw the car in reverse, shouting at me from the window (something like “I applaud the spirit if not the content of your remarks” I imagine, couldn’t quite catch it) he overcooked it and went straight back, at some speed, into a lamppost. Judging by the spectacular bang and musical sound of breaking glass, I reckon he must have done at least two grands’ worth of damage. Which was nice.

[wtjs]

not only have I reported them

not only have I reported them for a close pass, which the police are taking further…

This ultra-rapid decision making by the police is so unprecedented that the details are important. Which is this exemplary police force, and what is this miraculous opposite to the usual NFA? When can we see the video, which must exist as without it the incident would undoubtedly have been ‘NFA’d? What are the ‘but we’re not going to tell you how much further’ conditions they have placed on their written ‘action’ claim?

[the little onion]

I wish I did point the finger

I wish I did point the finger! Of course it was my fault for forcing them (via telepathy, I think. I’m not sure how you ‘force’ the driver behind you to overtake) to drive into a pedestrian refuge because their Mercedes penis extension was too wide for the road.

[brooksby]

I trust that you pointed at

I trust that you pointed at them while Muntzing? 

 

 

(edit) Of course, you do realise that they have been telling anyone who would listen about how it was your fault…?

[Author]

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