[David9694]

Haven’t made one lately, but this is in the tradition of dealing with the ennui in your own life by making up stories about other people. Can you help me with other descriptions that might get me up to junction 26 when all this is over?

Here’s a template in case helpful, followed by some examples:
I drive a (marque/ description of car).
Look at me! I’m [whatever sarcasm or wit you care to assign]
I drive a VW Beetle.
Look at me! I’m quirky. I’m probably wearing dungarees. I’ve got a flower on my dashboard. I went on a march last year.

I drive a two seater.
This car is very much about me – I have wanted this/ worked for this for a long time. I won’t be giving lifts, picking up Granny or dropping off any kids.

I drive a cabriolet.
it’s meant to be 12 degrees today – MUST HAVE ROOF DOWN must wear white or red baseball cap. (Optional: Must tuck pony tail through the hole at the back where it does up. Must wear a white or pink Ralph Lauren polo shirt.)

I drive a Golf in silver or navy.
From a distance, you have no idea whether it’s 15, 10, 5 or 1 year old, it is so nondescript.

I drive a BMW estate in black.
We live in an agreeably chaotic terrace in Islington and we’re on our way to the coast. The back is jammed full of the kids’ things – that’s Jasper, Conrad, Lily and The Baby (ho ho, we’re so disorganised, we haven’t given her a name yet and she’ll be walking soon.)

Topic

[brooksby]

Is your fictional Beetle a

Is your fictional Beetle a modern “Golf with new bodywork” or a real one? (just checking…).

[David9694]

Definitely. 

Definitely.  If I’ve got a signal I’ll also have a look at unusual job adverts – this one is at Sparsholt College – who knew?? I’m confused as to what sort of nursery it is at the end. 

Casual Caravan Instructor
Based in Winchester
We are looking for an enthusiastic casual Instructor who is an experienced caravanner to teach participants the practical elements of caravanning.

£15.25 per hour including holiday pay

We are looking for an enthusiastic casual Instructor who is an experienced caravanner to teach participants the practical elements of caravanning from hitching up to reversing around an offside corner.  The training courses normally take place at weekends at the Sparsholt campus during spring and summer months.

To be successful you will need to have excellent communication and rapport building skills and be competent in loading, towing and manoeuvring a caravan and ideally possess a recognised driving instructor qualification.

The College reserves the right to close this vacancy earlier than the stated closing date if sufficient applications are received.

To discuss the role informally please contact Eileen Bolton on 01962 797429.

Closing date:  04 May 2020

College Benefits: 

Eligibility to join a defined contribution pension scheme
Death Benefit grant of 3 x salary if in the pension scheme
Free on-site parking
Facility to purchase Sparsholt produce including: plants, fruit & vegetables, fish and game
There is a nursery on the Sparsholt campus operated by a commercial provider

[Anonymous]

I’m usually too busy trying

I’m usually too busy trying the get the KOMs before the 5-0 catch me up.

[ktache]

Kind of hoping that you are

Kind of hoping that you are doing this as a bored passenger.

[Author]

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