Best Trainer Advert Ever (and most honest)

  • This topic has 10 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by Raleigh.
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  • #687067
    0
    Raleigh

    A turbo a day keeps the pack
    A turbo a day keeps the pack at bay.

    DUHHH

    #687065
    0
    samjackson54

    Why were you going on the
    Why were you going on the turbo in June?! Its light til 10pm!

    #687063
    0
    Raleigh

    That guys a
    That guys a legend:

    A:  who needs VR software when you’ve got Graeme Obree riding a washing machine INCHES from your face?

    #687061
    0
    SideBurn

    Well spotted!
    Well spotted!

    #687059
    0
    Simon_MacMichael

    Unless they’re French, then
    Unless they’re French, then it’s an obligation.

    #687057
    0
    Tony Farrelly

    Hard men don’t suffer from
    Hard men don’t suffer from “ennui”

    #687055
    0
    andyp

    He needs to HTFU, basically.
    He needs to HTFU, basically.

    #687053
    0
    Tony Farrelly

    He got seventy quid, not bad
    He got seventy quid, not bad going

    #687051
    0
    notfastenough

    Some of the questions/answers
    😀 Some of the questions/answers are hilarious.

    #687049
    0
    Raleigh

    I’m selling this bastard
    I’m selling this bastard thing because i HATE it. I’m sure there are people out there who like or even have a perverse love affair with their turbo trainer. It might even attract some sort of love/hate duality. I know for a fact that some people, many of them ostensibly sane with some hideously rapid times to their name, view the turbo as the essential piece of training equipment. Personally, i’d rather rip my face off and dive into a bath of saline solution than use this horrible piece of apparatus. It’s utterly soul-destroying and mind-numbing, which is a pretty vicious combination. The straw that broke the camel’s back: I thought i might do a ‘quick’ turbo session this
    evening. The reason being that the weather is
    pretty terrible and i hadn’t got the time to head
    down to the lake for the first race of the season. By
    the time i’d sorted out the rear turbo wheel by
    putting a tyre on and then pinching an inner tube, then changing the tyre and putting a new tube in,
    switching the cassette and setting up the bike and
    then setting up the computer with ‘The Flying
    Scotsman’ on the iplayer with headphones and
    subtitles (because of fearsome noise) to alleviate
    the dreadful and crushing ennui of it all and then got changed and put some water within reach and
    found my sweaty turbo towel that hasn’t been
    washed since the last time i dared to ride the
    bastard (turbo, not turbo towel) and wrestled with
    the quick release mechanism and then adjusted
    the height with a series of books under the front wheel by getting on and off about four times then
    adjusting the saddle height then going back and
    adjusting the resistance about 6 times with the
    manual turny thing, i’d wasted about 55 minutes.
    This was about as long as i intended to spend on
    the bastard piece of shit. I managed about 11 minutes at about 70% of max before two things happened. The iplayer began to freeze and unfreeze, robbing me of the
    only thing that helped me think that i wasn’t
    actually on the turbo, and then without warning the
    back wheel leapt out of the dropout clasps and i
    had to do an emergency unclip and braking
    manouevre ON THE GODDAMNED TURBO just to stay alive. i suddenly lurched towards the
    computer where Graeme Obree was riding off the
    front of some sort of Tour of the Scottish
    Prettylands in the early part of the film and very
    nearly ended up joining the crazed circular-
    breathing scotsman on the silver screen. If you’re made of far stronger stuff than I am, and
    I’m thinking Ivan Drago in Rocky 4 when he kills
    Apollo Creed to death – that sort of stronger stuff –
    and think you can handle the savage bestiality of
    the CYCLOPS WIND TURBO then please,
    please, please buy this REPULSIVE ITEM.

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