Fixing a puncture… “YES I’M FINE THANKS!!

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

ktache wrote:

Always offer help, though if the rider in difficulty is a lone female be a little cautious, slow, do not dismount, and at a distance offer assistance.  I think some of us can appear to be a bit threatening.

Sorry but I won’t do that, I won’t make a special effort to stand away because the person happens to be of a partiuclar sex, that is utterly ridiculous to my mind. Continually propagating that all men are sexual predators/perverts is frankly offensive, it serves no purpose in the long run but to condition women to think they need to be on the defensive anytime a male approaches them and that men should be overly cautious, in fact the way things are men are more likely to continue on past because they don’t want to be accused of anything because of the ludicrous thinking.

I randomly chat to kids in the park (when I’m with the grandkids), shops, supermarket – a little girl in LIDL yesterday was talking in the same pitch/tone of the Haribo advert so it made me smile and I said ‘you can make a big big sandwich’, to which the parent laughed, I’m big, I’m male, and presently have a close shaved head, do I think I ‘look’ threatening, do I bollocks, what does that even mean FFS!!

I will not be put into a box that says thou shalt not talk to a child or stop and offer assistance to a women (but be 5 metres away) because all men are pervs/peadophiles, this thinking is utterly bonkers and harmful both ways.

Act like a normal human being and treat others like normal human beings!

In spite of the miles, BTBS and I find common ground once again. I don’t treat females any differently in that kind of situation. And the same with kids. If they interact with me, I interact with them. Normalising men as different / potentially violent or predatory as the default setting normalises the concept, and that in the end does society enormous damage. IMHO.

ktache wrote:

ktache wrote:

Always offer help, though if the rider in difficulty is a lone female be a little cautious, slow, do not dismount, and at a distance offer assistance.  I think some of us can appear to be a bit threatening.

I agree, be glad and thankful

I agree, be glad and thankful you live in an area where the people are nice; remember to pass it on though, if you see someone with a flat you do the same and ask if they need anything.  I’ve lived in places where people could care less if you’re lying half dead on the street, they won’t bother to stop to help because it takes their training time away!

Many times have I slowed down
Many times have I slowed down and shouted “y’alright?” to someone stopped by the side of the road to be greeted in reply with “y’alright” and perhaps a nod. Too late to say “No, not hello… I’m asking if you need assistance!” as I’ve gone past in the second it’s taken to register and end up just laughing to myself, cursing being a Northener.

Weirdest decline of help was from a guy who I rode past again 30km later as I looped around yet only a few km’s from where he was stopped but this time he was riding with a sledgehammer in one hand!

Rick_Rude wrote:

Surely if you’re cycling and approaching a fellow cyclist it’s hardly as random as if you just appeared out of field on foot or something?

I think the amount of men randomly cycling about looking for lone women is probably fairly small when the car is vehicle of choice for sex offending. 

Ye, surely if your a nervous lone female cyclist with a flat on a dark country road another cyclist stopping and greeting you with a cheery hello and offer of help is going to make you feel much safer than a car stopping, and if you really are feeling unsafe then even an offer to hold a light and a bit of company for a few moments would be appreciated.

In fact the only time I have stopped to help (I have offered many times) was a lady on her own who was walking with a flat on a busy road. Being non threatening and keeping away didn’t even cross my mind. I just happily asked if I could help and changed her tyre for her (she was a tourist with a hire bike and no idea about mantinance who had cycled to Blenheim palace). 

BehindTheBikesheds wrote:

ktache wrote:

Always offer help, though if the rider in difficulty is a lone female be a little cautious, slow, do not dismount, and at a distance offer assistance.  I think some of us can appear to be a bit threatening.

Sorry but I won’t do that, I won’t make a special effort to stand away because the person happens to be of a partiuclar sex, that is utterly ridiculous to my mind. Continually propagating that all men are sexual predators/perverts is frankly offensive, it serves no purpose in the long run but to condition women to think they need to be on the defensive anytime a male approaches them and that men should be overly cautious, in fact the way things are men are more likely to continue on past because they don’t want to be accused of anything because of the ludicrous thinking.

I randomly chat to kids in the park (when I’m with the grandkids), shops, supermarket – a little girl in LIDL yesterday was talking in the same pitch/tone of the Haribo advert so it made me smile and I said ‘you can make a big big sandwich’, to which the parent laughed, I’m big, I’m male, and presently have a close shaved head, do I think I ‘look’ threatening, do I bollocks, what does that even mean FFS!!

I will not be put into a box that says thou shalt not talk to a child or stop and offer assistance to a women (but be 5 metres away) because all men are pervs/peadophiles, this thinking is utterly bonkers and harmful both ways.

Act like a normal human being and treat others like normal human beings!

you’re being a little silly here. Just use your common sense. If you’re on a dark deserted road at night, and a lone female has a flat, obviously they will probably be cautious of random men approaching them. Try to put yourself in their shoes. By all means you should offer to help, but Ktache makes perfect sense here, try to do it in a considerate, non-confrontational, manner It’s really not that complicated.