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ktache.
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March 13, 2019 at 12:48 pm #29439
cycle.london
So I sked for ‘inspiration’ back in December or something. Since then, I can’t have cycled into London more than three or four times. I’m putting on weight and getting more and more down.
I know that this sedentary lifestyle is killing me. I just don’t care.
(and no .. please don’t go ‘alerting the authorties’ or whatnot. I have no intention whatsoever of ‘doing something silly’)
How in the name of hell am I supposed to get out of this rut?
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BehindTheBikesheds wrote:Is there any way you could do some voluntary work during the day that works around you been at home and the work you’re doing there? I’ve been a volunteer with Age UK for over 16 years, mainly visiting older people in their homes for an hour or so (though I tend to do two hours myself) which can be once a week.
So if you have say an hour where you might not well be needed in the house, maybe an hour entertaining with someone who could do with the company and chat might help kill two birds with one stone?
I was going through a bad time, had to give up work completely most of it due to a chronic illness but mentally I was bust (not just the illness) and was seemingly in bottomless pit of despair, the voluntary work gave me something to hold onto sanity wise, it was therapy for me whilst helping someone else out.
Also I could cycle there and back and deliver the charities magazines by bike as well, for long periods of time simply just getting to the shops, doing the voluntary work would be the only cycling I’d do in a week, just didn’t feel like riding at all but forced myself out to try to build fitness up despite the ongoing health problems.
Everyone’s road is different, what works for one may not work for another, being told forcefully you need to do X works for me (so long as it makes logical sense), ex-army so I guess that doesn’t bother me, but sometimes when we are mentally not where we want to be we are our own worst enemies motivation wise and can easily slump into a rut that can be hard to pull ourselves out of.
I hope you find your smoother path, be it for cycling or otherwise.
Thank you for that, I’ve just had a glance at the Age UK website and might give it a go.
hawkinspeter
cycle.london wrote:HawkinsPeter wrote:cycle.london wrote:HawkinsPeter wrote:cycle.london wrote:My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere. Arse. I’m going to make an appointment to see someone, though.One of the things that complicates matters – as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year – is that although strictly speaking, I’m ‘supposed’ to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I’m not. I had what they call a ‘1:1’ with my boss a couple of months ago.
‘Are you in the office today?’
‘Erm .. no, I’m at home’
‘Yeah, fair enough. I’m not bothered either way, mate’
That’s great. But it doesn’t motivate me to get into the office.
My wife likes it. Well, she’s as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I’m home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean. Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.
Anyway, this isn’t solving the problem.
I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year. Reckon I have enough time to prepare?
I can empathise with feeling “invisible” at work – it’s very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I’m better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).
Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I’m well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I’d state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.
It’s not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I’m there. But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I’ve been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and ‘WFH’ there, without telling anyone. I can get back in a day, for any meetings. But my wife would never go for it.
Likewise, I’m doing computery, geeky stuff as well, so I’m only really visible when things stop working – that means that upper management have no idea what I do but have a general feeling that I’m needed.
hah, yeah I know that! One day, a colleague (previous job) told me that when I had left to cycle home, someone had said, ‘What, erm..what exactly does [my name] do?’
‘Linux stuff’ he said.
‘Oh’
And that was that.
Yeah, I’m a linux admin part of the time and the other part of the time, I do DBA work which largely involves making developers cry.
Anonymous
Is there any way you could do
Is there any way you could do some voluntary work during the day that works around you been at home and the work you’re doing there? I’ve been a volunteer with Age UK for over 16 years, mainly visiting older people in their homes for an hour or so (though I tend to do two hours myself) which can be once a week.
So if you have say an hour where you might not well be needed in the house, maybe an hour entertaining with someone who could do with the company and chat might help kill two birds with one stone?
I was going through a bad time, had to give up work completely most of it due to a chronic illness but mentally I was bust (not just the illness) and was seemingly in bottomless pit of despair, the voluntary work gave me something to hold onto sanity wise, it was therapy for me whilst helping someone else out.
Also I could cycle there and back and deliver the charities magazines by bike as well, for long periods of time simply just getting to the shops, doing the voluntary work would be the only cycling I’d do in a week, just didn’t feel like riding at all but forced myself out to try to build fitness up despite the ongoing health problems.
Everyone’s road is different, what works for one may not work for another, being told forcefully you need to do X works for me (so long as it makes logical sense), ex-army so I guess that doesn’t bother me, but sometimes when we are mentally not where we want to be we are our own worst enemies motivation wise and can easily slump into a rut that can be hard to pull ourselves out of.
I hope you find your smoother path, be it for cycling or otherwise.
HawkinsPeter wrote:cycle.london wrote:HawkinsPeter wrote:cycle.london wrote:My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere. Arse. I’m going to make an appointment to see someone, though.One of the things that complicates matters – as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year – is that although strictly speaking, I’m ‘supposed’ to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I’m not. I had what they call a ‘1:1’ with my boss a couple of months ago.
‘Are you in the office today?’
‘Erm .. no, I’m at home’
‘Yeah, fair enough. I’m not bothered either way, mate’
That’s great. But it doesn’t motivate me to get into the office.
My wife likes it. Well, she’s as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I’m home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean. Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.
Anyway, this isn’t solving the problem.
I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year. Reckon I have enough time to prepare?
I can empathise with feeling “invisible” at work – it’s very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I’m better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).
Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I’m well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I’d state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.
It’s not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I’m there. But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I’ve been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and ‘WFH’ there, without telling anyone. I can get back in a day, for any meetings. But my wife would never go for it.
Likewise, I’m doing computery, geeky stuff as well, so I’m only really visible when things stop working – that means that upper management have no idea what I do but have a general feeling that I’m needed.
hah, yeah I know that! One day, a colleague (previous job) told me that when I had left to cycle home, someone had said, ‘What, erm..what exactly does [my name] do?’
‘Linux stuff’ he said.
‘Oh’
And that was that.
hawkinspeter
cycle.london wrote:HawkinsPeter wrote:cycle.london wrote:My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere. Arse. I’m going to make an appointment to see someone, though.One of the things that complicates matters – as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year – is that although strictly speaking, I’m ‘supposed’ to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I’m not. I had what they call a ‘1:1’ with my boss a couple of months ago.
‘Are you in the office today?’
‘Erm .. no, I’m at home’
‘Yeah, fair enough. I’m not bothered either way, mate’
That’s great. But it doesn’t motivate me to get into the office.
My wife likes it. Well, she’s as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I’m home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean. Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.
Anyway, this isn’t solving the problem.
I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year. Reckon I have enough time to prepare?
I can empathise with feeling “invisible” at work – it’s very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I’m better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).
Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I’m well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I’d state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.
It’s not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I’m there. But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I’ve been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and ‘WFH’ there, without telling anyone. I can get back in a day, for any meetings. But my wife would never go for it.
Likewise, I’m doing computery, geeky stuff as well, so I’m only really visible when things stop working – that means that upper management have no idea what I do but have a general feeling that I’m needed.
HawkinsPeter wrote:Rick_Rude wrote:Not sure I think working from home is the paradise it may initially seem. My wife does it one day a week and when I come home around 3, she’s still another 2 hours to go and me and my lad may as well leave anyway as anything we do will annoy her.Work should be for a workplace.
As has been mentioned, I’d be expected to do everything if I worked from home. I’d rather stay at work.
Yeah, I “work” from home one day a week and when my wife was doing different shifts, I’d get annoyed when she tried talking to me when I was “working” (“working” from home always goes into speech marks). What bugged me was that the whole reason that I was “working” from home was to concentrate on tricky jobs without being diverted by office chit-chat and then I’d get even more chit-chat at home. Luckily she’s now doing a standard 9-5 shift so it’s no longer an issue.
My wife is in love with her fucking work. She works in the NHS. The only time we argue is actually because of that. I’ll get a text saying, just leaving, can you pick me up off the whatever train?
So I pop in the shower, feed the cats, get ready to jump in the car, when another text arrives saying sorry, I won’t make that train.
Why not?
I bumped into [whomever] in the corridor
So? You’ve already done ten fucking hours, say to them that you’ll see them tomorrow
I can’t do that, she says.
Why the fuck not? I ask.
She’ll do a twelve hour shift and then come home and dial into her office VPN to do more whilst we’re sitting vegged out in front of the telly.
Maybe that would piss me off less if I were in the office every day. But to me, I work to pay my part of the mortgage and bills, and to get us some nice cycling holidays every year.
HawkinsPeter wrote:cycle.london wrote:My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere. Arse. I’m going to make an appointment to see someone, though.One of the things that complicates matters – as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year – is that although strictly speaking, I’m ‘supposed’ to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I’m not. I had what they call a ‘1:1’ with my boss a couple of months ago.
‘Are you in the office today?’
‘Erm .. no, I’m at home’
‘Yeah, fair enough. I’m not bothered either way, mate’
That’s great. But it doesn’t motivate me to get into the office.
My wife likes it. Well, she’s as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I’m home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean. Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.
Anyway, this isn’t solving the problem.
I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year. Reckon I have enough time to prepare?
I can empathise with feeling “invisible” at work – it’s very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I’m better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).
Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I’m well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I’d state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.
It’s not so much being invisible, as I know that they know when I’m there. But as I do all that computery, geeky shit, i can do it just as well sitting here in my living room, on the company VPN. I’ve been seriously tempted to go and rent a small flat in somewhere like Rome, and ‘WFH’ there, without telling anyone. I can get back in a day, for any meetings. But my wife would never go for it.
hawkinspeter
Rick_Rude wrote:Not sure I think working from home is the paradise it may initially seem. My wife does it one day a week and when I come home around 3, she’s still another 2 hours to go and me and my lad may as well leave anyway as anything we do will annoy her.Work should be for a workplace.
As has been mentioned, I’d be expected to do everything if I worked from home. I’d rather stay at work.
Yeah, I “work” from home one day a week and when my wife was doing different shifts, I’d get annoyed when she tried talking to me when I was “working” (“working” from home always goes into speech marks). What bugged me was that the whole reason that I was “working” from home was to concentrate on tricky jobs without being diverted by office chit-chat and then I’d get even more chit-chat at home. Luckily she’s now doing a standard 9-5 shift so it’s no longer an issue.
Rick_Rude
Not sure I think working from
Not sure I think working from home is the paradise it may initially seem. My wife does it one day a week and when I come home around 3, she’s still another 2 hours to go and me and my lad may as well leave anyway as anything we do will annoy her.
Work should be for a workplace.
As has been mentioned, I’d be expected to do everything if I worked from home. I’d rather stay at work.
hawkinspeter
cycle.london wrote:My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere. Arse. I’m going to make an appointment to see someone, though.One of the things that complicates matters – as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year – is that although strictly speaking, I’m ‘supposed’ to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I’m not. I had what they call a ‘1:1’ with my boss a couple of months ago.
‘Are you in the office today?’
‘Erm .. no, I’m at home’
‘Yeah, fair enough. I’m not bothered either way, mate’
That’s great. But it doesn’t motivate me to get into the office.
My wife likes it. Well, she’s as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I’m home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean. Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.
Anyway, this isn’t solving the problem.
I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year. Reckon I have enough time to prepare?
I can empathise with feeling “invisible” at work – it’s very demotivating. I try to focus on the positive aspects (I can get on with doing what I want, when I want with minimal interference), but it does wear you down. I often fantasise about switching jobs, but on balance, I think I’m better staying where I am as it pays the bills and is easy (for me, anyway).
Having no particular knowledge of doing the Dunwich (though I’m well up on the fictitious Dunwich and their fish-men), I’d state that yes, you most definitely do have enough time to prepare. July is plenty of time.
My heartfelt thanks to
My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has responded. Called my GP surgery yesterday to be told that their best doctor had moved on elsewhere. Arse. I’m going to make an appointment to see someone, though.
One of the things that complicates matters – as I mentioned in my first whiney post about this last year – is that although strictly speaking, I’m ‘supposed’ to be in the office every day, no one bothers if I’m not. I had what they call a ‘1:1’ with my boss a couple of months ago.
‘Are you in the office today?’
‘Erm .. no, I’m at home’
‘Yeah, fair enough. I’m not bothered either way, mate’
That’s great. But it doesn’t motivate me to get into the office.
My wife likes it. Well, she’s as concerned for my mental health as anyone, but when I’m home all day, every day, it means that the house gets kept clean. Dishes in the dishwasher, clothes washed and hanging up, work surfaces wiped down.
Anyway, this isn’t solving the problem.
I sort of fancy doing the Dunwich this year. Reckon I have enough time to prepare?
alotronic
Rick_Rude wrote:As has been mentioned, doctors first. Get them to run a ‘full’ blood test and you may find an answer you didn’t expect. Mine was an underactive thyroid, it started with my mood first but took my immune system down for a bit as well. I went through a period of getting hit with everything but after a year or so I’m back to normal so of. Plenty of things feed into mood though.Don’t be afraid to try different doctors as some are utterly useless. When I was still getting every illness known to man I was literally coughing up blood and one doctor said it was probably just stress! Saw another who did the volumetric test and told me I had a chest infection and put me on a steroid inhaler! In my experience, the older the doctor the less they give a fuck. Go for young chargers.
Agreed… Would add that ultimately my bad times we caused (or made a lot worse) by a physical issue – in my case coeliacs disease. Explore all avenues…
Rick_Rude
As has been mentioned,
As has been mentioned, doctors first. Get them to run a ‘full’ blood test and you may find an answer you didn’t expect. Mine was an underactive thyroid, it started with my mood first but took my immune system down for a bit as well. I went through a period of getting hit with everything but after a year or so I’m back to normal so of. Plenty of things feed into mood though.
Don’t be afraid to try different doctors as some are utterly useless. When I was still getting every illness known to man I was literally coughing up blood and one doctor said it was probably just stress! Saw another who did the volumetric test and told me I had a chest infection and put me on a steroid inhaler! In my experience, the older the doctor the less they give a fuck. Go for young chargers.
Big difference between can’t
Big difference between can’t get motivated and genuinely depressed. No one can tell you which one you are but you might know at heart. If you are genuinely depressed then any number of approaches *could* work for you (drugs, CBT, talking therapies, everyone’s journey here is differnt). Either way take action and share it. No point in suffering in isolation and silence, it will make things worse.
One of the terrible things about depression (long time sufferer, thankfully in the past now) is that it makes you think that you are powerless and that you can’t change – both untrue. That you want someone to know is obvious as you have posted here – a good sign. We can nudge you, but you need to get to a doctor or a therapist now. Don’t fuck around with this, get onto it and start to find the way through. If you do that you can make the world of difference to yourself and have a great life.
If it’s just a rut then above will sound like overkill, but if you are increasingly down you should at least consider paying for some CBT. You might get some on NHS but it will take a while to sort out. I just bit the bullet and spent the money – about 8 sessions made a huge difference, cost around £600, but well spent – you can’t even buy a decent frame for that money 🙂
ChancerOnABike
i would try and speak to a
i would try and speak to a behavioural therapist, usually very practical at changing your behaviours.
after a lazy year last year i set myself a target of 8000kms this year. My commute is 200 a week so keeps me motivated, and always beat myself for getting in the car and spending the same time sat in traffic as i would on the bike. Having that target seems to be pushing me along nicely.
hope you manage to work it out
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