Annoyed at someone interfering with his bike, a Swedish man has caught a bizarre bike fetishist red-handed.
Per Edstrom got fed up that someone kept puncturing his tyres and set up a CCTV camera to try and catch the culprit.
What he got was footage of a hooded man holding a piece of paper, getting intimate with the bike. The miscreant stands over the rear wheel of the bike, punctures the tyre and then masturbates as it deflates.
Police in Osterlund are looking for the velophile and believe there may be a link to a series of crimes in the area in 2007. A 35-year-old man was arrested back then for allegedly slashing the tyres of 20 bikes, before masturbating over their saddles.
Mr Edstrom says he is willing to forgive the man, but just wants him to leave his bike alone. “I am not scared of him, just irritated over all the punctures I have had to fix,” said Edstrom. “This man is probably completely harmless, bicycles are just his thing.”
The video is frankly a bit ‘ew’ for a family website, although there’s no nudity involved. If you feel you must, you can watch it on YouTube.
Unusual as this story is, it’s not the first instance of human-bicycle sexual relations. Earlier this year, Danish police were seeking a man who repeatedly masturbated on a women’s saddle while her bike was parked at a train station.
And lest we think this is a peculiarly Scandinavian kink, in 2007 a Scottish man was sentenced to three years’ probation after being caught having sex with his own bike.
Our official grumpy Northerner, John has been riding bikes for over 30 years since discovering as an uncoordinated teen that a sport could be fun if it didn't require you to catch a ball or get in the way of a hulking prop forward.
Road touring was followed by mountain biking and a career racing in the mud that was as brief as it was unsuccessful.
Somewhere along the line came the discovery that he could string a few words together, followed by the even more remarkable discovery that people were mug enough to pay for this rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work. He's pretty certain he's worked for even more bike publications than Mat Brett.
The inevitable 30-something MAMIL transition saw him shift to skinny tyres and these days he lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.