Chamois cream ... Idiots guide

the Rapha stuff smells great and does a good job but it is v pricey for what it is. The Assos stuff is great. Can't go wrong- slap some on your...assos!

I use Morgan Blue Solid. Basically a big medicated jar of vaseline. Apply to sit bones and either side of neither regions. Keeps working even on longer 100k plus rides.

Just sit in a bowl of vinegar, hardens the ass a treat...

Lard

Handcream works just as well, and is a tenth of the price of "Beurre pour le Derrière" or whatever they're flogging it as nowadays. Just don't let your wife find any short and curlies in the tin.

Have tried a variety of different brands but keep going back to Assos. Seems to have the "right" texture and there's nothing like that fresh feeling when you step out the door having just applied it (maybe it's the witch hazel that gives it that tingle).

There was a good article on cycling news many years ago (2006) by Keith Bontrager (you can google it) on the subject. As well as a cheap home made variety ("a large vat of petroleum jelly with some antibiotic ointment and some pain reliever") he gives tips on how much to use (basically, lots: "mear the stuff onto the chamois in a large quantity - three fingers worth, minimum. It should feel weird when you put you shorts on. That won't matter. But you want it to last all day, so you need a lot. That's why I don't want to use any expensive Swiss stuff. It would cost a fortune.").

...soaked in vinegar...just like conkers...hardens them puppies up no end...
(Actually use Assos, wouldn't be without the 'chilling breeze' effect it has on the old nads area)..just be mindful of the puckered sphincter reaction it seems to have...

I've only ever used Vaseline, purely because that's what I had in the house. It served me well enough on the century ride I did in the autumn.

I think that a large part of being comforatable is to do with saddle selection and set-up. I haven't been riding much road lately but a couple of weeks ago did about 35miles on a run out without any sort of cream or lube and didn't encounter any real discomfort. I'm incluined to think that if you are getting sore/uncomforatable after a couple of hours or less the way your bike is set up or your choice of saddle might need a little tweaking. Doubtless a cream will help but it might be treating the symptoms rather than the cause.

Using nappy rash cream after a ride makes a lot of sense. Some of the downstairs issues cyclists can suffer with are essentially nappy rash, especially if you get wet on a long ride. I occasionally get infected pores, but I suspect its more closely related to my job, which sees me sitting at a desk or in the car most of the time.

For time trials and the longer Audax events, I always used the following "recipe".

Mix 25 parts Johnsons baby lotion to one part Savlon, using an electric whisk.
Apply to real chamois 24 hours before event.
Store in plastic bag to prevent dust or other contamination from landing on chamois.
Add more of this solution immediately prior to event.
Apply E45 librally to skin.

In my experience, this combination has always been good for at least 24 hours, and cheap too.

I've used the Assos Chammy cream - very good, but expensive and am currently using Butt'r. No complaints about it...

I only put it on my 'sit' area/derrière where I contact the seat. A good dolloping and it definitely saves my butt from chafing...

Waitrose baby bottom butter and a bit of sudocrem on occasion. Possibly this is due to having had a baby in the house than any other reason but works a treat.

I've never used any in getting on for 30 years. I have very sensitive skin and just about anything can give me eczema, so smearing some unknown cream around my nether regions is a gamble for me! I dare say oilatum, diprobase, cetraben etc would probably work okay for those with eczema.

However with non budget shorts (i.e. approx £50 upwards) and a saddle that suits (in my case either a Brooks B17N or a Fizik Arione depending on which bike I take out) I can be out all day without discomfort, other than my legs being knackered! Maybe I am lucky?

I know the old style chammies did dry out, so cream would be required to soften them. 'Modern' inserts don't have the same problem so are less demanding.

+1 for Enzo's and tea tree oil. Enzo's prevents friction from developing and the mint is very pleasant smelling and slightly tingly but no burning like some of the menthol-based creams. Tea tree oil like mooleur says for post-ride prevention--hate the smell of it though.

I bought a bulk lot of Enzo's Buttonhole Cream which I wear on rides over 4 hours or on shorter rides if it's warm.

I apply it liberally to the pad and then take a couple of sachets with me just in case.

Post ride I use the Doris's Elizabeth Arden 8hr cream.

Rapha. I like my nether regions smelling of Alpine flora.

In reverse order.

I find that the chamois/pads do loose effectiveness especially if you drive to and from events in them. Washing also helps the longevity. I'm guessing here, but I would say most good shorts these days are synthetic pads rather than old washing leather style. All of mine are anyway, as a result I apply cream to skin not the pad. This stops sweat from infecting the pores and works for me. Itried rubbing into short but found it uncomfortable.

Leading onto which one. Assos is very good but pricey, Chamois buttr was just as good and cheaper. Currently using Blue Steel from Planet X as it has tea tree oil. Really like it. Small amount did the meduim ride of Flanders another application did the full Paris-Roubaix. The Blue steel can also be used after ride to clear anything up. Seems to do the job. But there again I haven't done the Roubiax or FLanders without creme to compare without.

I use Chamois Butt'r - really like it. Also got some of the sachets for jersey pockets.

I did the Ronde Van Vlaanderen this year (full distance) and I reapplied using the sachet around halfway. Fresh and pain free at the end.

Conversely I did the Lionheart a couple of weeks before and forgot to put any on, pain.

The Chapeau white tube one is good too, same consistency as Chamois Butt'r but with menthol in which is nice if you're already in discomfort.

This 'sit bones' stuff is just a load of old bollocks, really. Saddle manufacturers could learn a lot from rowing boat seat manufacturers.

Asoss cream, applied generously is great at preventing painful butt syndrome.

I was sceptical but tried it after a friend suggested it and never looked back.

I'm sure all the brands are very similar in effect but the Asoss was the first one I bought and works so I'm sticking with it.

One word of caution - be careful not to get it on your dot by accident!

If it's not been mentioned already - one of the best tips I was given ever was for the use of Tea Tree Oil post ride, or even a Tea Tree Oil shower gel. It's got mega antibac properties so if there's any developing nips or bumps it does a really good job of calming them.

Reviving the dead... with a bit of my own experience that practically changed my life!

Cycling every day as a commute, without a great saddle for many years, left me a bit, well, itchy. It'd come and go in intensity, but it was always there. I linked it to cycling, but treated it with doctors' advice as a skin condition. Nothing helped.

I don't remember how I discovered it, but after wading through what I believe to be one of the worst designed sites on the internet I got a psoriasis cream from an Australian pharmacist. The goop was super goopy, thick, oily, and I applied it morning and night for about 2 months but again, never in relation to my riding.

What was once a burning, constant irritation has now entirely cleared up. And yeah, I hadn't tried any of the chamois creams on offer, they're probably still great and performing a fairly different task. I thought I'd have this itch for life, 'cause I wasn't about to give up my trusty steed(s)!

Anyway, google for David Hosking's Psorexaderm, I promise nothing other than the veracity of my personal joy at this amazing product (that I no longer need to use at all). Best thing I've ever done.

(and yeah, it's my first post, and I'm mentioning a product positively. I clearly don't know how to sound less believable o_o )

@cooks - not as hard core as winter green

I use Deep Heat, because I'm a badass.

Good to see you've got a result. Just out of interest, what was the elapsed time for the sportive? I've not done one yet, and am curious to know how quick the faster groups go round. Was it a very hilly course?

In answer to your original questions:

Quote:

Am I missing something by not using chamois cream/butter etc?

I use Assos chamois cream for any ride longer than about 30 mins, I get nappy rash otherwise. If you've not needed to up til now, why bother?

Quote:

Do you apply the stuff to the chamois or your nuts?

I apply the chamois cream to my shorts once a month or so, and apply it to my sitbones and the sides of my nuts (between the thighs).

Quote:

And if you use a synthetic pad rather than actual natural chamois, does it effect your pad in any negative way?

My main pairs of shorts are Assos, so no.

Quote:

What's the best for a balance of sportive comfort and a lack of chafing?

This is as personal as choice of saddles. Try as many as possible. I love Assos, but they are hideously expensive.

Well being a girlie I can't comment on the 'nuts' but I have done a couple of charity rides to Germany and back and the associated training that goes with it.

Some of our team use Sudocreme and swear by it but have said it does leave greasy stains on their chamois (real or synthetic). I was advised to use Body Care Sportsbalm chamois cream. It is antibacterial and water resistant. So even with being a heavier person than the average cyclist and on the bike for up to 10 hours a day, for a week I only ended up with one small hole in my skin. I applied it to me rather than the chamois.

I'm doing the charity ride again in June so have been using the cream once again.