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Too many cycling twits!

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  • March 12, 2015 at 10:13 am #23473
    unclebadger

    Oh lordy-lord y’all what to do? On my daily commute back and forth into and out of the city of London I am encountering an unfeasibly large number of cycling twits and feel no love for them at all.

    Not you obviously, you’re alright mate, but you know who I mean right?

    Yeah you do. You’ve seen em, I’m talking about the posers. The people riding bikes that cost more than my car and its a pretty damn-nice car too! Clad in team Sky colours, posing with energy gels at traffic lights – cutting you up and riding around at night, with no lights wearing all black thinking that they are invincible Ninjas. You’re not f@ckin Ninjas OK!

    Worst of all seems to be the growing number of people that get into daily slanging matches with car and bus drivers.
    I’ve even seen and been on the recieveing end of arguments with fellow cyclists. Where’s the solidarity brothers and sisters?. How many people have to die before you are going to understand the simple rule: Biggest Wins!
    Dont fight cars you are going to lose. Surely deference is the key for all us road users to get along.

    It never used to be this way. Will it ever revert or has the lid to Pandora’s box fallen off its hinges?

    What do people think?
    Will the sea of cycling twittery eventually recede back and allow a return to good times?. Shoud I just get over it, grow a beard, drop a grand in Rapha and remortgage my house to buy a bike that I am too fat to ride properly?

    Someone said to me recently “Cycling is the new Golf”. The shock has worn off but the pain hasn’t gone away.

    Your answers on a postcard please.

    Big Love

    Uncle Badger (Trainee Old Git)

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  • March 13, 2015 at 4:13 pm #836389
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    Judge dreadful

    Chasseur Patate wrote:Seems

    Chasseur Patate wrote:
    Seems to me that there’s a fair amount of these cycling dicks right here, on this thread.

    I’d rather ride with a FPKW than a guy that feels the need to ‘orbit’ someone he doesn’t know.

    Just ride your fucking bikes and stop crying about what other people ride, own, wear or do fellas.

    I do, I only orbit the ones who feel they need to say something as I pass them (I’ll let the “good morning” lot off, that’s just polite).

    March 13, 2015 at 4:01 pm #836387
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    Chasseur Patate

    Seems to me that there’s a
    Seems to me that there’s a fair amount of these cycling dicks right here, on this thread.

    I’d rather ride with a FPKW than a guy that feels the need to ‘orbit’ someone he doesn’t know.

    Just ride your fucking bikes and stop crying about what other people ride, own, wear or do fellas.

    March 13, 2015 at 3:55 pm #836385
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    Matt eaton

    birzzles wrote:interesting

    birzzles wrote:
    interesting this. In mainland Europe everyone wears the kit. In Britain it seems to be regarded as strange. Cultural difference?

    It goes to show how weird human beings are.

    If I ride my Ducati to work in full Ducati leathers nobody would bat an eyelid.

    If I drive my Porshe to work decked out in every bit of clothing etc. from their accessories catalogue a lot of people would think I was a bit of a plonker.

    If I wear my Arsenal shirt to the pub to watch the game it’s considered normal but when I wear my full Arsenal kit and matching boots (not to mention my branded kit bag and towel) to football training on a Wednesday night people laugh at me.

    Cycling in full pro kit seems to be a grey area in terms of public opinion.

    disclaimer: I do not own a Ducati, drive a Porsche, support Arsenal or play football.

    March 13, 2015 at 3:48 pm #836383
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    farrell

    Judge dreadful wrote:They’re

    Judge dreadful wrote:
    They’re known as ‘full pro kit wankers’. I play a game of ‘orbit the FPKW’ whenever I encounter them. It involves passing them, then usually getting some obnoxious comment as you pass them. Then slow down and let them pass ( usually another knob comment as they do). Then catch them, and pass really close. Then repeat until they bugger off / give up.

    Isn’t this the same as as those choppers that burst themselves to get ahead of you, race you when you’re just on a steady ride, burn themselves out and then you have to keep overtaking them because they aren’t able to keep the pace up?

    March 13, 2015 at 3:41 pm #836381
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    Anonymous

    Judge dreadful wrote:evojm72

    Judge dreadful wrote:
    evojm72 wrote:

    I’m getting the word…Bellend.

    I think I’d likely un-clip and kick you off.

    And there we have it. You are exactly the sort I was referring to. The last idiot who tried unclipping and kicking me, didn’t understand that I know that particular tool of the FPKW trade. I heard the click, pushed on, he totally missed and ended up weaving in front of a van. I nearly fell off I laughed so hard.

    Oh what a wonderful human being your are. You’d probaly wish I did miss you as well.

    March 13, 2015 at 3:30 pm #836379
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    fukawitribe

    Judge dreadful

    Judge dreadful wrote:
    daddyELVIS wrote:

    You are thick as well as a prick! You say you don’t care, then go on a rant that suggests the opposite!

    I find those two things are usually attributed to people who make judgements on people they’ve never met, on an Internet forum. Ohhhhhhhh you are the epitome of irony.

    You actually said that, didn’t you ? To someone else ? That’s genius – a sort of irony mobius strip….

    March 13, 2015 at 3:05 pm #836377
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    Yorkshie Whippet

    unclebadger wrote:
    I should

    unclebadger wrote:

    I should have been clear that I just can’t fathom the sense in riding a £5K bike on a commute. I’d save it for the weekend. C’est moi.

    Very simple,

    Someone loves cycling and doesn’t have a great deal of money so they’ve sold everything they have to buy that dream bike and are so proud of it they ride it everywhere. Not everyone can afford several bikes so they ride the one the have.

    I have a £5K bike and ride it as often as I can including 1hr rides in the dark evenings. It’s my dream bike, I love it, I ride it as often as possible. (Except when there’s salt on the road then the winter bike is rolled out or when I’m riding off road, then one or the other of my mtbs is rolled out……) Well we can’t have the paintwork being spoilt can we 8}

    March 13, 2015 at 3:00 pm #836375
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    Judge dreadful

    arfa wrote:Quite a fair

    arfa wrote:
    Quite a fair amount of kung fu coming out on this thread. I am fascinated to know where these stretches of London Road are where you can sprint ahead, drop back and repeat ad nauseum, in traffic ?

    The cycle path between Hampton Court and Kingston usually.

    March 13, 2015 at 2:58 pm #836373
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    Judge dreadful

    daddyELVIS wrote:
    You are

    daddyELVIS wrote:

    You are thick as well as a prick! You say you don’t care, then go on a rant that suggests the opposite!

    I find those two things are usually attributed to people who make judgements on people they’ve never met, on an Internet forum. Ohhhhhhhh you are the epitome of irony.

    March 13, 2015 at 2:53 pm #836371
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    arfa

    Quite a fair amount of kung
    Quite a fair amount of kung fu coming out on this thread. I am fascinated to know where these stretches of London Road are where you can sprint ahead, drop back and repeat ad nauseum, in traffic ?
    There are twits who choose all forms of transportation and treating your commute in London as a race to massage your own wafer thin ego doesn’t really separate you from them.
    Ride what you like, wear what you like but don’t ride like a dick because it’s dangerous enough out there without some wannabe Sagan behaving like a tool.

    March 13, 2015 at 2:51 pm #836369
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    brooksby

    MKultra wrote:I am a leaf on

    MKultra wrote:
    I am a leaf on the wind.

    Well, yeah, but only until your primary buffer panel comes off!

    March 13, 2015 at 2:40 pm #836367
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    unclebadger

    Ah but stereotypes are such a
    Ah but stereotypes are such a timesaver though…. (JOKE)

    Thanks to everyone who has commented on this post. I think the responses show a fantasic cross-section of views and different levels of wit. I am alarmed at how quickly the thread descends into L-C-D mud slinging and abuse but I’ll get over it. Overall it has been really interesting to chuck in a verbal grenade, stand back and see what happens.

    It is facinating that by writing something vaguely provocative it’s actually possible to ‘Out’ one or two of the very people I was referring to. If you can’t tell that my original post was said with tongue firmly in cheek then you know what – WHO CARES ?

    OK I proably shouldn’t have mentioned Sky. I love the Bernard Hinault Quote – anything the Badger says is alright by this Badger. As for Cycling becoming the new Trainspotting I love it! Weak Lemon Drink at the ready my hobby this month is going to be CYCLE-ING…..and I will be the best at it, not you Neil Petark!!

    I should have been clear that I just can’t fathom the sense in riding a £5K bike on a commute. I’d save it for the weekend. C’est moi.

    By Biggest Wins I meant that as a cyclist if you get hit by car you are going to come off worse-FACT.
    As such I don’t see the point in antagonising motorists. That doesn’t change my right to be there one iota but it makes me cautious. If you’re not then that’s cool, send me your address and I’ll bring you some grapes in hospital.

    I have been cycling for over 30 years. I used to work for a bike shop. I have raced but never highly placed with Mountain Bikes and switched to road cycling after injury. I object to what I see as the hooligan element bringing football-type tribalism and posturing into what should be a fun sport/hobby. On the continent, where I used to work and my extended family live, you just don’t seem to get the bullsh!t. UK cycling was a bit of a Cosa Nostra pasttime but I suppose its inevitable that the nasties float to the top when something goes mainstream. Sad times.

    So I’m waiting til 2022, thanks for the tip B-) . I look forward to buying some bargain second hand bikes in due course once the blow-ins have moved on to their next fad.

    Ride it like ya stole it y’all* 🙂

    *But obviously in a responsible, legal and eco-friendly manner, without upsetting anyone. Especially on Forums.

    March 13, 2015 at 2:27 pm #836365
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    riotgibbon

    stenmeister wrote:birzzles

    stenmeister wrote:
    birzzles wrote:
    interesting this. In mainland Europe everyone wears the kit. In Britain it seems to be regarded as strange. Cultural difference?

    Maybe it’s because cycling is more ingrained in the culture of those countries whereas here the wearing of pro kit has a correlation with Froome and Wiggo winning the tour?

    I’ve a pair of Belkin bib-shorts, and my lad has a matching junior Belkin top (courtesy of the magnificent Prendas and their clearance ) which we like to wear in honour of Lars Boom’s magnificent TdF Stage 5 victory last year (but only once the team had changed sponsor)

    But the Prendas replica of the old San Pellegrino jersey must be the finest cycling apparel ever. The font always makes me smile

    March 13, 2015 at 2:06 pm #836363
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    pashda

    Ush wrote:pashda wrote:The

    Ush wrote:
    pashda wrote:
    The way people ride in London is shocking and they wonder why there are so many getting squashed by trucks. You dont pick a fight with 15 tonnes of metal at a junction.

    Interesting idea. Pity that the majority of the people getting squashed are the “deferent” ones following the infrastructure which leads them up the inside of trucks to be squashed at the junctions.

    Follow the rules: ride assertively and take primary.

    Not disputing the infrastructure is also appalling and contributes to some of the sad incidents. But I see every day trucks already stopped and waiting at a red light with a tiny gap between them and the curb, often due to narrow roads, and a cyclist will attempt to get infront of the truck just as the lights change to green. They are in the blind spot for the driver and are either lucky to get past before the truck moves or have to suddenly stop and lean over the pavement. That is not assertive riding it is stupidity. Waiting for the truck to move first would have cost them 10 seconds and not potentially their life.

    March 13, 2015 at 1:38 pm #836361
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    Mrmiik

    stenmeister wrote:birzzles

    stenmeister wrote:
    birzzles wrote:
    interesting this. In mainland Europe everyone wears the kit. In Britain it seems to be regarded as strange. Cultural difference?

    Maybe it’s because cycling is more ingrained in the culture of those countries whereas here the wearing of pro kit has a correlation with Froome and Wiggo winning the tour?

    Not my experience in Belgium sorry. The only kit wearers I think I’ve ever seen were a bunch of British lads in Brussels one time.

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