Online doping confession generator makes it easier than ever to get things off your chest

Got a secret you want to share with the cycling world but having trouble finding the right words? Worry no longer...

by Simon_MacMichael   November 2, 2012  

Syringe

Have recent events in the cycling world made you examine your conscience? Do you have a secret you need to share but you just don't know how to go about unburdening yourself? Fret no longer. Sorry I Doped is an online doping confession generator that you can customise to produce a tailor-made admission of past transgressions, avoiding the need to pay a ghostwriter to do it for you wrestle with how best to express your heartfelt apology.

Sorry I Doped is brought to you by W&D Racing/NYC Velo.

11 user comments

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Fantabulous.

"Dear friends, family, teammates, fans, sponsors, and creditors:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, cortisone, testosterone, Clenbuterol, Actovegin, rhinoceros horn, and PCP. I wanted to use these products because I was driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I took these products between June 1919 and August 2009.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

So long, and thanks for all the cash.

Sincerely,
Spear Dopestrong"

If I could have, say, 6 bikes, would it stop me drooling over others that I don't have?

posted by notfastenough [2868 posts]
2nd November 2012 - 16:56

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In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with everything i could lay my hands on.

I wanted to use these products and would eat a fellow cyclist if i believed it would make me faster, and then force the rest of my team to do the same in pursuit of my own goals.

The UCI didn't care and practically encouraged me to behave in this manner.

I took these products between the start of time and wayyyy after Pat's ridiculous cut off date.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my actions as i've got millions of dollars.

Sincerely,
Lance

posted by karlowen [65 posts]
2nd November 2012 - 17:23

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Dear friends, family, teammates, fans, sponsors, and creditors:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, cortisone, testosterone, Clenbuterol, Actovegin, rhinoceros horn, and PCP. I did not want to use these products but I was driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I took these products between May 1984 and November 2012.

I deeply regret, feel ashamed of, take responsibility for, hope that others can learn from, am truly sorry for, and don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

Sincerely,
Gkam84

I did everything from my birth until yesterday, I regret it all and decided to give up.........yeah right, Lance is still supplying me Devil

Gkam84's picture

posted by Gkam84 [8637 posts]
2nd November 2012 - 20:32

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Dear creditors:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, cortisone, testosterone, Clenbuterol, Actovegin, rhinoceros horn, and PCP. I did not want to use these products but I was driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I took these products between November 2011 and December 2011.

I deeply regret and feel ashamed of my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

I appear to have grown a line of hairy tits up my back and my skin has turned green. Omega Pharma have said they're interested in experimenting on me and think that I may provice a cure for ebola virus.

Sincerely,
Vlad the Impaler

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posted by carlosjenno [36 posts]
2nd November 2012 - 21:16

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Dear friends, family, and fans:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, testosterone, Clenbuterol, and PCP. I wanted to use these products because I was driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I took these products between January 1987 and July 2001.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

Sincerely,
Bertie Bates
Devil

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posted by giff77 [1031 posts]
2nd November 2012 - 22:01

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Dear friends, family, and fans:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, and rhinoceros horn. I wanted to use these products because I was driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I took these products between July 1999 and July 2006.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

Hell, my wife loved it. The fact that I could be a big-earning super-domestique by day and a stallion by night was a winner for everyone. They should legalize that s***.

Sincerely,

Archibald Nonchelance

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posted by andyspaceman [211 posts]
2nd November 2012 - 22:55

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Dear Whoever:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my future. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, cortisone, testosterone, Clenbuterol, Actovegin, rhinoceros horn, and PCP. I want to use these products because I am driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I will take these products between January 2013 and January 2014 and smoke you all.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

Anyone got any needles?

Sincerely,
Tyler Something

posted by red snapper [7 posts]
3rd November 2012 - 7:13

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Dear friends, family, and fans:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, cortisone, testosterone, and Actovegin. I did not want to use these products but I thought everyone else was doing it. I took these products between June 1995 and December 2005.

I feel ashamed of, take responsibility for, and am truly sorry for my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

However, I promise that I was clean when I won Paris-Roubaix. My current relationship to Michele Ferrari is purely platonic. I have to carry two phones in case two people want to get hold of me simultaneously. My hematocrit is naturally 49.9. Oh, and the vials in my fridge are for my wife's anaemia due to a menstrual condition. Honest.

Sincerely,
Edgar A Poe

posted by Holimoli [3 posts]
4th November 2012 - 4:26

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Dear friends, family, teammates, fans, sponsors, and creditors:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with EPO, blood transfusions, cortisone, testosterone, Clenbuterol, Actovegin, and rhinoceros horn. I wanted to use these products because I was driven by unbridled ambition to win at any cost. I took these products between January 2008 and September 2012.

I deeply regret, take responsibility for, hope that others can learn from, am truly sorry for, and don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

Sincerely,
Alec

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posted by CycleGringo [94 posts]
5th November 2012 - 0:25

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Dear sponsors:

In the wake of recent events in the world of cycling, I can no longer hide my past. I admit to doping with rhinoceros horn. I wanted to use these products because I thought everyone else was doing it. I took these products between January 2005 and February 2005.

I don't care what anyone thinks about my actions and I hope that my confession can help bring positive change to the sport that we all love so much.

Sincerely,
Neil eethere

The sound of a car door opening in front of you is similar to the sound of a gun being cocked......

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posted by Pantera_Standish [5 posts]
5th November 2012 - 13:23

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Gkam, for the record PCP is an opportunistic infection commonly seen in late presenters with HIV. I believe you must of meant TCP to keep clean your injection sites clean? Me I still in denial and the use of performance related drugs has never been used by good honest decent folk.

Therefore I have nothing to apologise for!

posted by onlyonediane [159 posts]
5th November 2012 - 15:31

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