Nose-breathers rejoice! Anti-pollution nose flaps have arrived!!

Do you breathe exclusively through your nose, perhaps due to an ill-conceived superglue-related prank or after sewing your lips together in a political protest?

Well, if so, and if additionally you are troubled by dust, pollen, pollution and germs, a new product from America could be the answer to your prayers.

First Defense Nasal Screens are “nasal dust covers made of 100% breathable non-latex, skin safe material.” Yes, that's right!

They do not make you look like you have grown flaps of skin over your nostrils, no they certainly do not, but they do “help protect against foreign air born particles that find their way into nasal passages.”

Yes, and in addition to being “the newest breakthrough in personal air filtration” First Defense Nasal Screens (formerly known as Cleanose) are “easy to apply and barely noticeable.” They are “the portable, effective solution to breathing healthier, cleaner air” and according to the manufacturer's promotional video, useful when undertaking various tasks and outdoor activities including, you guessed it, riding a bike.

Buy First Defense Nasal Screens here while stocks last….which might be a while… and see for yourself why you should invest in the product by watching the highly-convincing, if rather small and abruptly terminating video complete with soothing Troy McClure-esque voiceover.