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DEAR DOUCHEBAG BIKE THIEF.... ‘poor student’ writes to criminal who stole Giant bikeLetter © Twitter Blaze

DEAR DOUCHEBAG BIKE THIEF.... ‘poor student’ writes to criminal who stole Giant bike

Give up now, says student to bike thief - you're on CCTV and my bike has a GPS tracker...
by Sarah Barth
Sun, Aug 10, 2014 11:19
38

A student who had their bike stolen - but with the help of a GPS tracker found out where the thief lives - has posted a decidedly old school printed message to the thief telling them to return the bike or face a knock on the door from the Plod.

The victim explains how, having been a victim of bike theft before, he or she decided to put a tracker in the frame. Whats more, the letter said, the thief was caught on CCTV stealing from the station bike shelter.

The letter then gives the thief until the end of the week to return the grey Giant bike before they are visited by "our Majesty's finest."

The letter was shared to thousands on Twitter as one user captioned it: "This must have been the best feeling ever".

The letter:

DEAR DOUCHEBAG BIKE THIEF

Fantastic! I've grabbed your attention

Hi there! You stole my bike last night, admittedly I was kind of ticked off about this, but less so when I realised that you left your face on camera at the station. And also you may have not realised but this is not the first bike I've had stolen, so I put a tracer inside the bike frame. So unfortunately for you, I know where you live. Please dear bike thief, don't take this as a threat, I'm sure you had your reasons, I just want my bike back.

All I am asking is if you return the bike before the end of the week, that will be the end of it. If not: You'll be getting a visit by our Majesty's finest.

In case you've taken more than one bike, mine was the grey Giant.

Have a good day!

Sincerely, the poor student with no money, but a working printer

 

Bike theft
Crime
thief

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38 comments

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russwparkin | 9 years ago
0 likes

gps tracker, yeah alright, powered by what? and you ever tried to get your gps sat nav to work in the house? the clue is in the 's'

you aint picking up satellites in an enclosed 2mm thick alloy / carbon tube.

fail

Avatar
downfader replied to russwparkin | 9 years ago
0 likes
russwparkin wrote:

gps tracker, yeah alright, powered by what? and you ever tried to get your gps sat nav to work in the house? the clue is in the 's'

you aint picking up satellites in an enclosed 2mm thick alloy / carbon tube.

fail

Actually there is a way of getting GPS to tell you which house to knock on. I dont want to say too much on here as tealeaf ****s might be reading. Security personnel have used as much, and the Police to deal with prolific mobile phone thieves.

Avatar
Critchio replied to russwparkin | 9 years ago
0 likes
russwparkin wrote:

gps tracker, yeah alright, powered by what? and you ever tried to get your gps sat nav to work in the house? the clue is in the 's'

you aint picking up satellites in an enclosed 2mm thick alloy / carbon tube.

fail

GPS bike trackers do work. theya re small enough to go in seat tubes, or or steering stems. The Police use them on bait bikes. They can track the bike inside buildings to within 2 meters, they are that accurate. Some have SIM cards in them too and are activated by SMS. The battery power is an issue yes, once activated you dont have long to find the bike or you have to keep charging them up. And they do work well inside bike frames. Don't assume they are shit because all you have knowledge of is a sat nav app on a smart phone. The SIM card ones also use mobile phone cell site triangulation to help with location accuracy.

https://www.eta.co.uk/2012/02/13/stolen-bicycles-tracked-with-covert-gps/
is just one example.

Avatar
naambezet | 9 years ago
0 likes

Seems to be fake, the text is not alligned with the paper.

Avatar
MikeOnABike replied to naambezet | 9 years ago
0 likes
naambezet wrote:

Seems to be fake, the text is not alligned with the paper.

Looks like the paper is folded and taped down to me.

Avatar
stuartp replied to MikeOnABike | 9 years ago
0 likes

..

Avatar
stuartp replied to MikeOnABike | 9 years ago
0 likes
MikeOnABike wrote:
naambezet wrote:

Seems to be fake, the text is not alligned with the paper.

Looks like the paper is folded and taped down to me.

I think what he is saying is the paper is curved round the tube but the word 'Dear' isn't.
Nice idea but, FWIW it looks fake to me too.

Avatar
Spangly Shiny replied to naambezet | 9 years ago
0 likes
naambezet wrote:

Seems to be fake, the text is not alligned with the paper.

It is centre aligned on the paper.

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