[Mostyn]

UK HEADLINES FROM THEYEAR 2040

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK’s
third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in
schools for being ‘different’. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as
whales
are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.
UK
Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like
whale
meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor
Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to
stop people saying what they think.

Britain ‘s deficit £15 trillion and rising. Government declares
return
to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime
Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more
immigration is the secret to success.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated. Physicists estimate at least ten more years
before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic
Countries. No other country comes forward.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US
President in 2042.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £28 and reduces mail delivery
to
Wednesdays only.

After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour
Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and
human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet,
seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2045 as
lethal
weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford win FA Cup Final, beating Hindu Hornets 4-1.

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